Don't worry. The whole scenario was allegedly caught on film by Bravo's ever-present cameras, so you'll get to see the awkwardness and requisite emasculation in the comfort of your own living room. Before I catch any slack, I don't think that a woman proposing is emasculating…it's just so cringe-worthy to see how Gretchen usually treats Slade. Now that we've cleared up that potential miscommunication, let's get on to the good stuff!
As you know, I'll be sharing some Watch What Happens Live posts sporadically throughout the week, and for Monday's show, I was in full recap mode. For last night's episode, I tried to go less recap/more highlight reel to see which style our wonderful readers prefer. Please sound off with your opinions in the comments section!
Andy Cohen's guests last night were former Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kim Zolciak Biermann and Tony award winner and writer Harvey Fierstein. The leading lady of Harvey's Broadway hit Kinky Boots is the bartender. Harvey thinks Kim's hair is real (um, does he need glasses?), clarifying, if she bought it, it's really hers. Fair enough. If I close my eyes and just listen to Harvey's voice, I can easily picture Big Ang from Mob Wives!
The drinking game alert is "boots" (said thirty times throughout the show!), and we learn that Kim keeps all her old pregnancy tests. Ew.
On last night's Dance Moms,Abby Lee Miller highlighted the competition among her smallest dancers, pitting an over-the-top Asia against an injured (cough, cough) MacKenzie. Good times!
The girls and their moms pile into the studio for the pyramid reveal, and Abby is livid about the second place finish. Loooserrzzz! MacKenzie is in the bottom spot since she didn't dance due to her injury. Paige follows her for doing a disservice to our nation by not properly holding the flag during the group number. Perhaps there shouldn't have been a flag to mishandle in the first place, but what do I know? Kendall is next for her lack of focus, while Brooke rounds out the bottom rung. Chloe starts the middle level, followed by Nia. Holly couldn't be more proud. Asia is number two for winning her division, and Maddie finds herself back on top. She is, after all, America the Beautiful. What the…?
Abby questions where MacKenzie's air cast is. She's still injured, right? MacKenzie claims that she's able to dance, while Melissa urges her daughter to tell Abby what the doctor told her….if she feels 100%, she can participate. Abby wonders if MacKenzie returned to her doctor for this news, and Melissa explains that she didn't, but MacKenzie knows her own body well enough to know if she's okay to dance. Abby knows what's going on (someone doesn't like being replaced by Asia!), and she tells Melissa that the doctor originally said two weeks, so she's going to make MacKenzie sit out for two weeks. She doesn't want to trust an over-the-phone diagnosis.
Well this news should come as a shock to absolutely no one! Kris Humphries is pushing to have cameras in the courtroom to memorialize the divorce proceedings between him and Kim Kardashian. It's appropriate that Kris would want the trial filmed given his annulment argument is based on the fact his marriage was based solely in reality ratings. Kim, however, does not want any of their legal drama caught on tape, which is odd considering she can't seem to breathe without at least a dozen cameras on her at one time. I guess she doesn't want certain things revealed to the world. Hmmm….what secrets could Kimmie be keeping?
While Kim is dealing with even more drama from her last relationship, she's also facing some hardships with her current beau and baby daddy Kanye West. Apparently, he's not sticking up for his woman in the manner Kim would hope. After Ray J dropped his latest single "I Hit It First," it's been crickets from the Kardashian Kamp and the kontroversial rapper who isn't known for keeping his mouth shut. Trouble in tiny rapper paradise?
On last night's Watch What Happens Live, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills'Camille Grammer graced Andy Cohen with her presence in the clubhouse. Joining her was rocker – and Ashlee Simpson ex – Pete Wentz, who will be hosting a new tattoo competition show on Oxygen. Andy addresses the tragedy in Boston, and declares it a night where everyone needs a drink. That said, there is no drinking game word…you just drink when the word "Drink" flashes across the screen. Seems easy enough for me! The bartender is the guy who designed the logo that is Andy's face which can be found on most of the Mazel products.
Andy opens the vault to reveal two clips of Camille scantily dressed and dancing on '90's late night shows. She admits to having a breast reduction since those glory days. My, my, my! Those are some jugs. Pete compliments the current state of Camille's rack. The poll question involves Real Housewives of Orange County, and Andy wonders if Briana had the right to ban Brooks Ayers from her mother's house.
Oh girls of Teen Mom 2, what are we going to do with you? Last night,Leah Messer Sims Calvert walked down the aisle for a second time in her short life, and Jenelle Evans caused a scene at Jace's third birthday party. Anyone want to chip in for a Mom-of-theYear trophy with me? Chelsea Houska celebrated her twenty-first birthday, and Kailyn Lowry got engaged to Javi and Jo let out a sigh of relief that she was now someone else's problem. Good times, right?
The episode starts with Leah cooking breakfast with her dad, and we learn that she hasn't seen him since she was thirteen. She tells him what a great provider Jeremy is, and he's happy to be back in his daughter's life. I wish he'd turn his NASCAR ballcap around so I could see who his favorite driver is. #rubbinisracin'
Chelsea is moving yet again (what is this…like the fourth time this season alone?), and she takes Aubree to her mom's after daycare. She's planning for her twenty-first birthday, and her mom offers to watch Aubree so she can celebrate. Aubree's birthday is not long after Chelsea's, and Chelsea's mom asks if A-D-A-M will be attending her party. Chelsea turns on the whine and says she doesn't want to talk about him under any circumstances. Her mom praises her maturity.
Back with Kieffer, Jenelle is stressed out because her roommate is moving out, and she's short on cash from her boyfriend's mooching ways because her Internet job isn't paying as much as she'd hoped. She heads to her mom's house to discuss Jace's upcoming third birthday. Wait, my bad…she really just wants to complain to Barbara about her roommate and collect her mail. She reveals to her mom that she's dropped out of school due to the stress from her legal troubles with Gary and her boob job…both good reasons. Jenelle can barely keep her eyes open as she tells her mom that Kieffer is moving in with her. Barbara tells her daughter that she's planned Jace's party for the following day at a local tumbling Jim. Jenelle is upset that she didn't get more time to invite her friends, but she warns her mom she will be bringing Kieffer.
I'll be honest, I didn't think there was any need for another hour of reunion footage for Love & Hip Hop after watching the first half last week. However, Mona Scott-Young proved me wrong (it's not the first time either!). Consequence and Professor Joe Budden reveal a hidden feud that causes Cons to totally sucker punch Joe. It's ridiculousness at it's finest. Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena continue to show the world just how dysfunctional their relationship is/was, and Yandy Smith opens up about Mendeecees Harris' arrest.
The evening begins with Mona introducing the cast, and Joe, Tahiry Jose, Yandy, Erica, and Rich are joining her on stage. Mona shows a clip of the ladies' dressed in their bootilicious finest, and it's T&A all over the place. Rich and Joe take a fan video question which wonders if the naked pictures of them on the Internet are, um, accurate. Joe claims his phone was stolen at a strip club, and, while it's his body, the pic was photoshopped. Rich says that his photo is true to form from the waist up, but someone downplayed his man bits. A bitter Erica disagrees…she snips that it's a true depiction of Rich's business.
Mona highlights Jen Bayer and Consequence's struggle with religion. Jen still wants her one day of tradition, but Cons isn't willing to compromise. Rashidah Ali, who is also Muslim, feels for the couple's situation. Mona questions Jen about her comments to Raqi Thunda about being white, and before she can explain, Raqi starts mouthing off to Cons. Rashidah tells Raqi that she's a disgrace to Islam, and the two women go at it. Rashidah takes off her shoes, and the scrapping begins. Joe is filming it all on his camera. Once they are separated and scolded by Mona, Raqi exits to compose herself.
I'll bet Jackie Christie of VH1's Basketball Wives: L.A. is vying for a spin-off right about now. That said, I hope Draya Michele is churning out those teeny bikinis to pad her bank account. It seems that the two women, along with the other more forgettable cast members from BBW: L.A., will all need to find something to do with their time if this gossip is true…
Gloria Govan hinted about jumping ship a while ago, claiming to be working on other projects (Internet ballerina/ninja movies, I presume), and now it looks the rest of the women will following suit–whether they like it or not!