Stop the presses and pour me a Skinnygirl margarita! On second thought, don't…I prefer my cocktails to taste good and go straight to my hips.
I have some wonderful news that will excite the masses. Whether you're a diehard Bethenneedy fan, a Bethennybody-else-but-her hater, or a passive and neutral Frankel, my dear, I don't give a damn, you are going to like what I have to say! Well, that third group probably couldn't care less, but the others–oh, the others!–will be thrilled! P.S. I'm working on a trademark for my newly coined phrases, so use at your own risk. TM, Ms. Frankel, TM! ;)
Anyhoo, can you guess who this post is about? Anyone? Real Housewives of New York veteran and purveyor of Hoppylicious spin-offs and diet liquor concoctions Bethenny Frankel made an announcement earlier Monday on her website. The post was aptly titled "My Big Announcement." You have to give her credit, Bethenny always has been a straight shooter!
Last night's Basketball Wives L.A. resumed with Jackie Christie crashing Gloria Govan's tasting party at Malaysia Pargo's request. As none of the other women had seen Jackie since the reunion (presumably), they were waiting with baited breath for an apology or an explanation…heck, even just a sentence at this point! Draya Michele is shocked when Jackie just fixes a plate, grabs a cocktail, and sits down silently at the table. The queen has arrived!
Malaysia makes a toast to explain Jackie's attendance, and both Gloria and Laura Govan have some catty things to get off of their chests. Jackie is trying to maintain her cool as her buttons are being pushed left and right. Draya says that Jackie is going to work very hard to regain any kind of trust. Poor newbie Brooke Bailey just introduces herself. Jackie begins her apology about being defensive, but Draya and Laura think she is totally lacking sincerity. I'd have to agree.
So, the Real Housewives of Miami are back, and this season they have apparently been informed that they are actually part of the housewives franchise and not some random reality show that is formatted around cooking parties. Baby steps.
While four new women join the fray, the "veterans" are out numbered…unless you count Mama Elsa twice, and, let's face it, she is so awesome she deserves the extra credit. Her daughter, Marysol Patton, appears to maintain her status as the voice of reason, although sadly she's missing one hot, foreign, much younger husband. What a difference a year makes! However, regardless of what is going on in Marysol's personal life, she still seems to have a stable head on her shoulders. It's a wonder she was even chosen by Bravo given her propensity to avoid drama. Who am I kidding? She totally got this gig because Andy Cohen wanted Elsa. End of story.
Bless your heart, American Idol. Bless it. In the wake of much more original and exciting talent reality shows, AI is desperately trying to stayremain once again become relevant. After unveiling the new judges, tabloids immediately began speculating about a giant feud brewing between the original diva Mariah Carey and raspy rapper extraordinaire Nicki Minaj. Here's what I know to be true: Starships were meant to fly, Glitter will always be a horrible movie, and such obvious PR stunts can be spotted from a mile away.
I mean, yes, if you told me that Mariah Carey would be totally horrid to work with and she has a need to always be the HBIC (head b*tch in charge, duh), I would totally believe you. If you also informed me that Nicki Minaj had an ego the size of her booty and annoyed everyone in her path, I certainly wouldn't call you a liar. However, the whole situation is just too perfect. The show needs publicity. Shoving Keith Urban in America's face wasn't enough to create a giant buzz, so let's say these two talented, strong-willed, and notoriously diva-licious ladies can't stand one another. Nice try.
As a lover of fashion, bad television, and all things post-Simple Life Nicole Richie, you would think I'd be all over NBC's Fashion Star. However, I am not. I just couldn't get into it to save my life…and this is coming from someone who plans to dress as Austin Scarlett from Project Runway for Halloween this year. To be fair, there are only so many hours in a day, so much space on my DVR, and, in addition to ridiculous amount of reality television I watch both for blogging and pleasure (it's fab too when those overlap!), I am also addicted Law and Order: SVU, HIMYM, and Happy Endings. It's A LOT of television.
I'm going to give it another chance though this season, and here's why: Elle Macpherson, the show's creator and former host has chosen Louise Roe to replace her, and I think it's an interesting change-up for the series. Not that I don't like Elle (she had a great work-out video back in the late '90s), but she's just not made for hosting. Sure, she's drop-dead gorgeous, but did you see her on Friends? It's like watching paint dry. Louise Roe has the fashion knowledge AND the hosting chops…not to mention she's just obscure enough to be intriguing.
Who am I kidding? Jessica Simpson is still on the show, and she hasn't been relevant since she divorced Nick Lachey. I doubt I need to point out what a sad state of affairs it is when an ex-boy bander from a boy band on the fringe of legitimate boy bands makes one relevant, but I digress. How did Fashion Star even get picked up for a sophomore season?
I'm actually not repulsed to report on this Kardashian news! Who knew? It's such a strange and odd feeling, I'm not quite sure how to process it!
Keeping Up with the Kardashians has been focusing on Khloe and Lamar Odom as they try to start a family. I do think that Khloe is the most genuine person in this crazy family, and it has to be heartbreaking for her to have so many issues with fertility while watching her sister Kourtney have her second child.
Khloe and krew were recently on Good Morning America, and the reality star (and future X Factorhost?) opened up about her struggles to have a baby.
There has been quite the change up over at American Idol, but Fox has finally named its new judges. Here's hoping that a fresh new batch of superstars can breathe some life back into this talent competition. For the past few seasons, the show has been a revolving door of judges, with only host Ryan Seacrest and voice of reason Randy Jackson remaining constant.
Earlier this year, the show bid farewell to former judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler, while Mariah Carey secured the first spot at the new judges' table. Since then, there has been so much speculation as to who would join her in finding new singing talent. There have been multiple musicians thrown in the hat, from Nick Jonas to P. Diddy, but now Mariah's counterparts have been chosen. I wonder what she thinks of them though…
We won't be seeing Matt Barnes on this season of Basketball Wives: L.A., but it isn't because the he and Gloria Govan are on the outs with one another. On the first season the couple certainly had their share of highs and lows, eventually calling off their engagement when they couldn't work out their differences.
Isn't it amazing what eight short months can do? Gloria and Matt have reunited…although she claims to have learned a lot about herself in their time apart. This time she'll be facing the craziness of the sophomore season without her man.