I never thought I'd be Team Silex about anything, and I mean ANYTHING. However, when you have to choose between somewhat creepy Silex and uber-creepy Dourtney, what else can you do but side with former Real Housewives of New YorkstarsAlex McCord and Simon van Kempen? Of course, I'm talking about a feud that started out on VH1's Couples Therapy, so perhaps that is where I first went astray. I am addicted to this insanity, and I'm not proud of it.
Joining Silex in the therapy sessions, at least up until a week or so ago, was everyone's favorite May-December romantics 52-year-old "actor" Doug Hutchison and his 18-year-old wife Courtney Stodden. I don't have to tell y'all that she was sixteen when the pair married and seventeen when Couples Therapy filmed. Due to child labor laws, Courtney wasn't allowed to film as much as the grown-ups and couldn't stay in a bedroom with her hubby.
If you've been tuning into the train wreck (and I know you secretly have!), you know that Courtney's parade of bikini tops as shirts, Lucite stripper platforms, and belts that she tried to pass off as skirts had the other couples up in arms. Her wardrobe was deemed a major distraction, and Dr. Jenn imposed a strict dress code. Courtney was forced to wear things that covered her belly and didn't flash her bits. The passive aggressive Courtney adhered to this dress code for one day, although she clearly shopped for her conservative clothing at Hoochies 'R Us. From that point, things continued to go down hill for Dourtney. No amount of gum smacking, eye rolling, or hair twirling could save them!
Who doesn't love a Bravo housewife? Furthermore, who doesn't love to see the dirt on the original ladies (okay, so technically one original lady with a bunch of add-ons throughout seasons past) as they all vie for media time? The Real Housewives of Orange County are so funny. The love out-doing one another. And, let's be honest, isn't that why we watch?
While we wait for the OC ladies to make yet another debut, it's fun to see what they are doing in their off-time. For example, Heather Dubrow is all about touting herself as the show's "voice of reason." Yeah, I get she doesn't engage in her co-stars' drama, but that doesn't make her an expert on peace. However, she is an expert on being sickeningly rich and passive aggressive, and for that, I think she's amazeballs.
In the meantime, original gunner Vicki Gunvalson is all about supporting local theater. You have to love that she can take a joke, as she is the biggest fan of the theater group that satires her bread and butter with their rendition of of the Real Drunk Housewives. Finally an honest portrayal of these girls!
It's still sad to see Seaside Heights in all of its glory, and our thoughts and prayers are still with the victims of Hurricane Sandy. Of course, our cringing and laughs are still with last night's episode of Jersey Shore. One half of the meatball brigade continued her messy behavior while a newly sober roommate learned some "shocking" things about his new girlfriend.
Deena Cortese is crying and yelling at Ronnie Ortiz-Magro. It's awkward. He wants to know how he can help her get through her major issues. DJ "Pauly D" Delvecchio believes that Deena will be a new person in the morning…once she's sober. You have to be worried about our future when Pauly D is the voice of reason. Vinny Guadagnino thinks that Deena is suffering from anxiety, and he's an expert on the subject. Deena is hyperventilating, and Vinny is trying to teach her how to cope. Inside, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola is chastising Rawn for being too hard on Deena even she's losing patience with the roommate herself. Rawn and Jenni "JWoww" Farley think that Deena's parents coddle their daughter too much. Vinny is concerned that Deena is drinking through her issues.
Ronnie calls Deena's mom and learns that her parents are on the way to pick up their daughter. He explains to her parents that Deena is just wasted. She doesn't need to go home, she needs to sleep off her alcohol binge. The housemates are happy that Vinny was able to talk some sense into Deena, and she's much less angry when she rejoins everyone in the den.
Yikes. We all speculate on whether reality shows are scripted or completely fake. Of course, no one ever comes out and says a show isn't legit…especially if it's the star of the show! I guess Dave Hester from Storage Wars didn't get that memo.
The star of the A&E hit has caused lots of drama with the network after rumors started swirling that he was saying the show isn't what it seems to viewers. What? Next, I'm going to hear that Si's beard on Duck Dynasty isn't real. I just don't know how much more of these crazy rumors I can take!
I don't know about y'all, but there is a part of me that is still mourning the fact that Alana Thompson couldn't keep Glitzy the pig. However, it warms my heart to know that she's got a new pet to pamper. What animal wouldn't want to make its home among the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo family?
Now the young pageant princess has a new pet to love on in a way only Smoochie can. Alana now has a pet chicken that she has affectionately named Nugget. She is so ironic. Of course, I'm sure you think can of an animal rights group who is going to use this little girl's pet as a platform for its agenda. Any guesses?
I think we all can agree that Kirstie Alley's middle name these days is TMI. Promoting her new book The Art of Men (I Prefer Mine al Dente), the Dancing with the Stars contestant has been dropping bombs about her life and loves all over the media. Someone needs to put a muzzle on her. STAT!
I'm not sure which recent story is the best. There's the tidbit about John Travolta being the love of her life, her forbidden feelings for Patrick Swayze, and, of course, her giant cocaine addiction. Where to begin? Where to begin?
The Los Angeles based "model" is speaking out about her failed engagement to the wine making dud. She blames the fantasy-like dates and sheltered existence during filming as part of the problem. Wait, really? So you're saying that falling in love in eight weeks while jet setting, swimming with dolphins, and private concerts isn't real life? Wow. Color me floored.
No one really believes that Courtney would have fallen for Ben and his unfortunate hair and Oliver Twist-ish wardrobe in real life, right? I have to say, I almost respect her more for kind of acknowledging that fact.
Finally, a new housewife that I'm super excited to see! I have always held a special place in my heart for the ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's not because I like their personalities more than the women of the other franchises. I think I'm just enthralled with their amazing lifestyles. They are head and shoulders above the other housewives when it comes to vacation homes, couture, and bling. I'm addicted!
What's even more exciting about the RHOBH cast is that the newbies are stirring up more drama than their veteran counterparts. You have to love when a new addition comes into the situation with guns blazing. It's awesome. Having already decided that Yolanda Foster was going to be my dark horse favorite, I am disappointed in myself for not giving more credit to Marisa Zanuck. As viewers, we haven't been introduced to this firecracker yet, but she's already schooled in working the media. How can you not respect that?