Another Tuesday, another two hour Dance Moms with Abby Lee Miller. In my opinion, last night's performances were out of this world, but I just can't take anything seriously when it comes to Kathy and her Candy Apples. She's playing a role…she has to be, right?
As the super-sized episode begins, the moms can only imagine how Abby is going to react to seventh place over all in the group number given how livid she gets when they get second. Not shockingly, MacKenzie is on the bottom for messing around on her "injured" foot, and Abby benches her for the upcoming competition. Paige and Brooke also land on the bottom for being good but not great. Abby doesn't think Brooke actually wants to dance. Chloe is called next, and Christi is determined to bite her tongue to make sure her daughter is able to keep dancing. Yet again, Maddie's eyes glass over with tears when she lands second to Kendall's new headshot. The moms, especially Holly, think Jill gets sneakier every week, but she doesn't dwell too long because she's estatic when Nia graces the top of the pyramid. Abby compares Nia to Beyonce and praises her facial expressions. I am so happy for Nia.
This week, the group will be competing in Cincinnati, and Abby is worried that Kathy and her Candy Apples will also be in attendance. The group routine it about Rosa Parks, and Holly hopes that Nia will get to play Rosa. Abby isn't giving out the lead role just yet, and she takes the opportunity to call out Holly's outfit. Kendall gets a solo, as does Maddie, but not before Abby can remind her that she keeps coming up short in her routines. Abby grants Paige the duet with Chloe that she's been wanting. She tells Paige she's been waiting for her to dance up to Chloe's level…and now, lucky for her, Chloe is dancing down to her level. Way to ruin the moment.
I am sure it will come as a shock to no one that I've already pre-ordered a copy of Phil Robertson's new book Happy, Happy, Happy: My Life and Legacy as the Duck Commander which hits shelves May 7th. Even if I wasn't obsessed with A&E's Duck Dynasty and the Roberston family, the title alone would have intrigued me.
I love everything about these people–their closeness, their strong faith, their loyalty, and their devotion to one another. Underneath those beards, there is more wit, substance, and intelligence than most of the housewives franchise combined. And, unlike the majority of the housewives, the Robertsons are honest about where they came from, what they stand for, and who they are.
Phil isn't afraid to admit he spent some time mixed up in the "sex, drugs, and rock and roll" when he was younger, and the family uses their reality fame to help the less fortunate. Hmmm, it sounds like those who don't necessarily look the part are certainly doing their part…somewhere Mama June is eating her sketti with a satisfactory grin…
Ouch. Apparently leaking your own nudie pictures isn't the best way to get Hugh Hefner's attention. I guess it's another life lesson learned for Pia Rizza. As you recall, the forty-year-old Mob Wives Chicago star recently shared some naked selfies in order to "preempt" an ex-boyfriend from beating her to the punch. Sure. Cough, cough.
Unfortunately for Pia, Playboy has spoken, and the magazine isn't interested in having her model. Poor thing.
I don't know about you, but I wish the producers of Teen Mom 2 would ban their little starlets from any type of social media and ban them from the tabloids…at least during the season. I'd be a lot more inclined to root for Jenelle Evans if I didn't know what a train wreck she's become. Also, I'd be more invested inLeah Messer Simms Calvert's love triangle and Kailyn Lowry's attempt to make Jo jealous if I didn't already know the ending. As for Chelsea Houska, I'm glad to see that beauty school is going so well…but that's the only surprise of the season!
Kailyn is finished with school for the summer, and she's excited to spend more time with Javi and Isaac. I'll give it to Javi…he's really great with Isaac. Of course, she's yet to set up any kind of co-parenting counseling with Jo. Kailyn is ready for Javi to move in since he's spent every night at her place for months. Let's break it down…she's ready for Javi to stop freeloading and help with the rent and the cleaning. Kailyn admits she doesn't want to hold against him the fact that she foots the bill should the two argue. Again, I find it hilarious (and I know I write this every week!) that she wants a live-in boyfriend, yet Jo's girlfriend can't even be on the same premises as Isaac. Kailyn is just ready to get married. At twenty, she isn't getting any younger. MTV needs a swift kick in the pants for glorifying these girls!
Should I be concerned that Love & Hip Hop is going soft of me? Last night's episode was a veritable love fest with friendship, mended fences, and a long-awaited engagement. What happened to the screaming and hair pulling and drink throwing? Not that I'm complaining, it's just a foreign concept.
We begin as a frazzled Erica Mena meets with Yandy Smith to share that Olivia Longott is recording her ballad thanks to Rich Dollaz. She can't believe that her ex-boyfriend would use that against her. Yandy asks about what Erica wants to do with management. Erica still wants to ignore the fact having a manager is important for her career. Yandy reminds her that Rich was the only person in her corner…Erica needs Rich more than he needs her.
Tahiry Jose's mom is in town and loves seeing her daughter's rap magazine centerfold. Tahiry is excited that she and her mother finally have an adult friendship after a tense childhood. They discuss their past, including how her father juggled his twelve kids before being deported. Her trust issues do seem to come honestly, that's for sure. The duo is crying over her father's indiscretions, and Tahiry thinks that many of her past issues have contributed to her problems with Joe Budden. Her mother encourages Tahiry to talk things out with her dad.
Well isn't this a fun twist? But aren't all the twists tongue in cheek fun when discussing reality star Bethenny Frankel?
If you recall, before she and Jason Hoppy filed for divorce, Bethenny was all about racing out to L.A. to set down roots for her new daytime talk show. It seems that Bethenny has recently had a change of heart, and she wants to film Bethenny in the city that made her a household name in the first place, thanks to Bravo. A woman's allowed to change her mind, right?
Oh good gracious. Remember when photographer and personal friend of Elizabeth Taylor, Robert Webercompared the iconic movie star to Kim Kardashian? Yeah, I still don't believe it either. However, it would explain the picture that Kris Jenner just posted to Instagram of her daughter with the caption "Wow #stunning". I will say the majority of the comments weren't very complimentary, but I think anyone is going to get the same treatment if they start comparing themselves to such huge celebrity from Hollywood's golden era. Just ask Lindsay Lohan!
Of course, when Kim isn't trying to forge a resemblance between herself and Liz, she's reminding us that she's pregnant…just in case any of you thought this was a misguided and awful publicity stunt. Surely no one is alleging Kim would do something so low, right? 😉
I'm starting to wonder if a storm is brewing with the ladies of Mob Wives. So far, everyone has been very civil. Renee Graziano and Drita D'avanzo decided to take out their stress through good ol' fashioned physical exercise, while Big Ang gets enough of a work out holding up her giant jugs. Ramona Rizzo and Karen Gravano were actually cordial to Dave's new girlfriend. Of course, Love Majewski still wants to beat Carla Facciolo's behind, but the pair has yet to meet. Where was Carla last night, anyway?
Last night begins as Ramona and Karen are heading to Karen's brother's storage facility to see if there is any evidence which would allow Karen's father's case to be reopened. There are boxes of trial transcripts and taped conversations. This is not going to be an easy task.
Renee shares with son A.J. that she's going to get an attack dog. He wants to slap her when he hears the pooch could cost upwards of twenty thousand dollars. A.J. thinks that his mom's paranoia are humorous. He wants his mom to lighten up and relax. She's hoping that they can do some mother-son bonding in a Krav Maga class. Not only will it allow the pair to spend time together, it will be another outlet for Renee's aggression. Yeah, that's not going to happen. A.J. tells his mother he isn't going along for the ride as she channels her inner Jackie Chan. Renee then practices some of her wrestling techniques on A.J. in a cute family moment. He really seems like a good kid.