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Oh last night’s Dance Moms!  The moms are wearing their finest lido deck attire to hear the results of Abby Lee Miller‘s pyramid.  Seriously, I’ve never seen so many handkerchief gauze dresses in one place!  Abby praises her girls for a phenomenal recital.  This week, the girls are traveling to California.  Big times!

Paige is at the bottom of the pyramid due to her boot. Brooke joins her for a poor showing during the hip hop dance.  MacKenzie rounds out the bottom tier.  It seems the hip hop number was a bit over her head.  Nia is on the second rung.  While she garnered most improved last week, she doesn’t need to “rest on her laurels.”  Chloe joins Nia although Abby doesn’t have a bad thing to say about her.  Once again Maddie is on top for winning the recital’s scholarship.  Abby reminds Kendall that she’s not yet in the pyramid, but by golly is she working her way towards it.  Jill is livid.

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Perhaps the Overtones should stick to hanging with Mrs. Eastwood & Company and leave the driving to those who can stay on the road.  Last Thursday, an Escalade driving down 17 Mile Drive in Pebble Beach lost control and went careening out across the beach and into the ocean…at 11:15 in the morning.  An eyewitness says that the SUV was speeding down the scenic highway.

Now, the driver of that SUV has been identified as Valentino “Tino” Ponsonby.  Tino is a talented beat boxer who is part of the Overtones A cappella group, which is managed by Dina Eastwood…you may have heard of her.  Her husband Clint is supposedly legitimately famous…you know, for actual talent.  :)

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I knew I loved JWoww.  Not only is the Jersey Shore star a lover of precious meatball babies, but she’s a dog lover as well.  Jenni “JWoww” Farley is also doing her best to prove that the super tan guidos and guidettes aren’t just all about fist pumping, alcohol, and club music.

Finally, some news to report that involves a Jersey Shore cast mate and the cops that doesn’t end with a mug shot.  When Bradley Beach, New Jersey’s police department lost its beloved German shepherd Max, it was JWoww who stepped in to help.

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It seems like every singer under the sun’s name has been mentioned as a potential American Idol judge.  From Nick Jonas to Diddy, everyone is “in talks” to fill that third seat.  However, some of artists who have been approached to critique young hopefuls have turned down the gig.

Case in point?  The punkish pop star Pink does NOT want to be giving advice to unknown singers trying to make it big.  In fact, she’s turned down the opportunity to judge on both AI and X Factor because she thinks there are too many of these reality television talent shows on the air.  She doesn’t want any part of it!

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Good gracious.  Part One of the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta reunion took a lot out of me.  Mona Scott-Young is mediating…if you can even call it that, but the lady looks really good.  I didn’t recognize her!  I guess I shouldn’t be shocked that she’s ready to stir the pot!

We begin with a montage of the season.  It’s much easier to watch in a quick recap than it was to watch every week.  I know the regular readers will agree!  I’m most excited to see how all things Stevie J. will pan out at this reunion.  I have a feeling I’m going to be incredibly disappointed.  These women, save one or two, have absolutely no shame.  None.  Nada.  Zero shame.  It’s sad, but it’s certainly entertaining at least.

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Look out world, yet another Housewife may be getting her own show!  I guess that is going to happen as the women war with each other…instead of watching everyone coexist in a Bravo hour, we’ll be forced to watch fifteen different spin-offs to see all of our favorite drama queens.

The newest lady who is rumored to be in talks for her own gig is Real Housewives of Beverly Hill’s Adrienne Maloof.  I guess she needs to do something to take her mind off of her separation from her husband Paul Nassif.

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So wait…you’re telling me that finding a spouse on a reality show doesn’t always work?  Color me shocked!  I do have to admit I had high hopes for the Bachelorette’s Emily Maynard and Jef Holm.  Even though getting engaged after living in a jet-setting fantasy world for six weeks may not form the strongest relationship, I feel that One F has such a good head on his broad shoulders that perhaps these two crazy kids could work.

In spite of cheating rumors that were confirmed by Jef’s brother, the pair still claims to be going strong.  The couple has been out and about in Charlotte kissing and holding hands for every photog in town.  However, could it be a case of protesting too much?

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Oh Chad.  Chad, Chad, Chad, Chad, Chad.  I feel like I’m chastising one of my former first grade students, yet he’s a grown a$$ man.  Chad Ochocinco Johnson has gotten married and divorced within the period of a few months, head-butted his new bride Evelyn Lozada, got his new wedding spin-off cancelled, and was fired from the Miami Dolphins.  That’s a lot for a day’s work.  Now it seems he’s been just as busy trolling Twitter for mistresses.  I guess he’ll never learn.

Ol’ Ocho’s dirty laundry has been airing ever since he became the punchline for every tabloid and blogger from here to kingdom come.  Now it’s being reported that the former NFL star has had multiple affairs with women he’s met online.  He’s a classy one for sure!

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