Former Real Housewives of New YorkstarJill Zarin is really good at two things…tooting her own horn and extending her fifteen minutes–much to the chagrin of all of us! While Jill loves talking about how she wants to stay out of the spotlight and focus on her businesses, she can't seem to get all things Bravo and RHONY from spewing out of her mouth.
This time around she's chatting ad nauseam about her reasons for agreeing to do the show which range from wanting more family time to free publicity for her business ventures. I'm going to let you determine which one you think was the most important to her. Jill also waxes poetic about being one of the pioneers of the Housewives franchise, and she gives stellar advice on how to everyone can reach their goals. Sit back, relax, and take a Jill pill…
I want y'all to think back to a simpler time…a time when neighbors were friends, and they washed Cornish game hens in dish washing soap and had dinner parties together. A time before the skies grew dark, and one friend with blue hair feathers got mad at another satin cloaked friend for not having her satin cloaked daughter's bachelorette party at feather-mane's casino. I miss those days. NOT! While I generally don't enjoy conflict (it makes me super uncomfortable), there is something about the Lisa Vanderpump/Adrienne Maloof feud that is oh, so entertaining.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills stars used to be pals, but now there's an unfair fight brewing in the tabloids. A now fired Adrienne is taking every opportunity to badmouth her former friend, and she should have learned long ago that talking smack about Lisa never ends well for the smack talker. Lisa is smart enough not to start any drama, but when it comes her way, she silences it with some biting and witty remarks that make said smack talker look like an idiot. And let's be honest, shall we? Adrienne is already struggling with her image, and her new plan of spewing hate on Lisa's restaurant Villa Blanca is quickly backfiring.
Wednesdays used to be my least favorite day of the week, but now that Duck Dynasty is back, Wednesday and I are getting along a whole lot better. I'm convinced that if Jase, Willie, Si, and Phil Robertson can't put a smile on your face, then there really isn't much hope.
Last night's episode began with Miss Kay cleaning up her kitchen while Phil touts the uses for turpentine. Here's a hint–it needs to be used to clean up Hollyweird. Willie arrives and informs his parents that they are going to be having their portraits made with their pets. He can't believe he bought his parents such a stellar gift and they've yet to cash in on it. Willie made an appointment so that Phil and Miss Kay would have no other choice. We're less than three minutes in, and Phil gives me a line that could potentially be my favorite of the season. "Pet photographer? That's the degree you get when you're rejected from a degree in aromatherapy. 'Merica." Lord, I love this family.
At Korie and Willie's house, daughter Sadie is preparing some meatballs for her mom's spaghetti. Korie isn't quite up to par with Miss Kay when it comes to knowing her way around a kitchen. Willie learns that his son and his girlfriend have broken up, but he can't focus on the boy's heartbreak when he has jars of spaghetti sauce to wrestle. The following day, Jase is griping about a recent customer complaint. According to Jase, the guy thought he had a broken duck call, but it turns out (after extensive research on Jase's part) that the guy was blowing into the wrong end. Why, if I had a dollar for every time that happened!
This is so NOT bananas. In fact, it's so far from being bananas it's practically a cantaloupe. Everyone's favorite 1970's inspired bag lady stylist turned designer returned to Bravo last night with a vengeance. That's right! The fifth season of the Rachel Zoe Project premiered, and it started off on a very bad note thanks to Page Six.
Way back in August, Page Six published a scathing article saying that Rachel Zoe's new line was in trouble and was not attracting customers at high end department stores. The article speculating that her show would be canned before a fifth season could air. Well, we all know that last part isn't true! As you can imagine, Rachel wasn't too thrilled with the article, and we got to see her reaction play out in our living rooms.
Boys don't cry, y'all. That goes double for boys in hair bands. Singer, Rock of Love star, and former Celebrity Apprentice winner Bret Michaels has had his fair share of heartache, whether its health issues, his love life, or his receding hairline (you're not fooling anyone with that bandana, buddy!). Now, he's having to fight off some pretty serious and damaging rumors.
It appears that every rose truly does have its thorn, and if you're Bret that thorn is All-Star Celebrity Apprentice. If you believe the crazy gossip surrounding the new season of Donald Trump's boardroom bonanza, Bret wants to set the record straight: he most certainly did NOT bawl like a baby when he was the first "celebrity" to hear the words, "You're fired!"
It's a great day for Michael Lohan! Everyone's favorite famewhoring father of a trainwreck starlet has a new job. He's employed! Maybe now, he'll stop trying mooch money off poor Lindsay. Something tells me there isn't much to mooch these days…perhaps it's why he needed to find work.
Perez Hilton shares that Michael has landed a hosting gig on a Cheaters spin-off called Celebrity Cheaters. Let's all be honest, how much better would Kristen Stewart's cheating scandal have been had Michael Lohan been the one to bust her? I can picture it now. Granted, I am sure the show won't even focus on D-List celebrities. Something tells me that Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison may get some screen time, though!
Congratulations, Michael. This is certainly a subject you know a lot about!
TELL US-WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MICHAEL LOHAN'S NEW GIG? WILL YOU WATCH?
I make my living railing on the Kardashians, but I've never really thought about what it means to be associated with them. Case in point–Lamar Odom has been in court this week hashing out issues with his ex-wife about their children regarding visitation and child support.
More than that, it's weird to see Lamar's ex Liza Morales be in the thick of all things media related just because she happens to have kids with someone who has now married into the fame hungry family. Although Liza doesn't strike me as someone who is bothered by the attention! I'm happy to report that Khloe has yet to weigh in on the legal beef her husband is facing. What? A Kardashian isn't kashing in on drama surrounding her family? I knew I liked Khloe for a reason!
Last week's Dance Moms was emotionally draining for Abby Lee Miller given the loss of her dog. This week it was nice to get back to the petty drama…especially if said drama includes Abby speed-dating and Jill getting thrown under the bus after trying to claw daughter Kendall's way into Abby's good graces. Jill, watch seasons past and learn. There is a definite protocol to being Abby's pet, and it's called being named "Maddie".
When the episode begins, Abby is glad that her girls won their most recent competition, but she's quick to remind them that it isn't their best performance. She rails on Chloe for deviating from the choreography in the group number. She unveils the pyramid, and Paige is on the bottom for being good but not great. Apparently she didn't dance with her face. Kendall joins her because she faded into the woodwork. Jill isn't happy with Abby's choice. Brooke rounds out the bottom for being the oldest who isn't standing out as a leader among the group. Nia is on the second rung…third on the pyramid to coincide with her third overall finish. Holly is proud. MacKenzie joins her. Not surprisingly, Maddie has found herself back on top yet again. This garners an eyeroll from Jill. Chloe doesn't even make the pyramid, and Christi bites her tongue.
This week, the troupe is heading to New Jersey. MacKenzie is still out of the group dance. Abby is bringing in a boy to compete with the girls. MacKenzie and Maddie both get solos. Kendall and Nia are granted a duet. I love seeing Nia getting some well-deserved props. Abby introduces Nick as the boy lead, and all his counterparts are squealing with excitement. Brooke will be the female lead. Aww, I see a prom date in their future! In the dance, Brooke is dying and Maddie is her daughter. Abby hopes that Maddie's facial expressions will carry the number. It's like a Les Mis situation minus the French Revolution. In the veiwing room, Christi waxes poetic about their girls finding their first love. That conversation quickly turns to introducing Abby to speed dating. This is going to be a great episode! Operation Find A Man For Abby commences. Jill wants to find a man for Abby in hopes of furthering Kendall's dance career.