Just because Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that their baby won't be making its debut courtesy of E!, don't expect that to mean they want little Kimye, Jr. to have some semblance of a normal life. I'm embarrassed to say that I fell under that fallacy (just a tad, tiny, wee bit…).
Don't get me wrong. When a couple spends countless hours and photo ops trying to recreate their own version of a famous statute of Jesus (please click here and take note of how unimpressed the bystanders seem!), I am not expecting their kid to attend public school and play rec soccer at the local YMCA. However, in light of today's Kimye gossip, the child won't have time to play soccer/t-ball/ultimate frisbee because he or she will be spending the majority of time jetting back and forth across the globe to multiple houses. Oh, excuse me. Mansions.
It's that special time of the season we've been waiting on for what seems like eons…the season finale of Teen Mom 2. Last night, the girls and their children/parents/boyfriends/users sat down for a two hour chit chat with MTV's resident "therapist" Dr. Drew Pinsky. Wait…what's that you say? It wasn't the season finale? Mid-season finale? What the–? I have never heard of such a thing. You know what this means, right?
Of course, leave it to MTV to make sure the true finale will be total chaos. Next week the insanity of broken relationships, drug abuse, and violence spirals out of control when we are treated to the midseason premiere. I can't keep up, so let's just focus on last night's drama, shall we? Take it away, Dr. Drew!
Well, I didn't see this one coming! The producers of VH1's Love & Hip Hop can breathe (a little) easier now that one of this season's stars has been cleared of child molestation charges. On the show, Yandy Smith's boyfriend Mendeecees Harris comes across as a harmless, if not totally clueless, guy who wishes he had more street cred than he does. It makes sense that fans of the show were floored when horrific allegations were made against him.
Mendeecees' name has been cleared, and he is no longer facing decades in prison. I am glad that precious baby Amir won't have to grow up without his father. Now, if only he could beat those drug charges…
After a Super Bowl hiatus, last night's Mob Wives was one for the history books. The only fighting that occurred happened between some drunken old men at Big Ang's bar, although Renee Graziano wasn't making and friends in her therapy sessions. Carla Facciolo takes Joe's divorce news in a much more civil manner than one would have expected, Karen Gravano gets into the music biz, and Love Majewski has a cameo. The biggest news? Drita D'Avanzo and Ramona Rizzo call a truce for the sake of their daughters. No lady brawls? That has to be a first!
Ramona is planning a special joint birthday for two of her daughters who were born a year and four days apart. She's meeting Ang and Karen for a shopping spree, and she's filling them in on the details of the bash. Her only issue is that one of her girls wants to invite her nemesis Drita's daughter. I'm glad that the girls can get along even if their mothers can't. Ramona wants to get her friends' advice, but she plans on inviting Drita to attend the party as well. Ang can't believe how mature Ramona is being, but Karen thinks she's just asking for trouble.
Renee is still in rehab, and I'm curious as to why all of these people agreed to have their group sessions filmed for the sake of Renee. She commandeers the therapy session talking about her anger issues and her inability to forgive. When another member starts talking about how high school her mentality is, Renee starts going off on the woman for talking behind her back earlier. At one point during her interview, she yells, "Doesn't this woman know who I am?" Yeah. I'd say this is going to be a really long road to self awareness. The therapist calls Renee's behavior irrational, but a smug Renee doesn't want to hear it.
It's going to be hard to Breathe Again after processing this news. Sorry, I realize that was a horrible intro! Toni Braxton has recently decided that she is walking away from music after a twenty year singing career. I guess it was bound to happen. The talented songstress has now become more known for her family's reality series than her songs. Plus, like the majority of folks who have cameras following them around for our entertainment, Toni's been bitten by the acting bug.
The Braxton Family Values star is starring in the upcoming Lifetime movie Twist of Faith. However, Toni uses her strong pipes as well as her acting chops to play a Gospel singer torn between two men. It's good to know we'll still get to hear her vocals even if she's given up on making albums.
There is nothing like the Shannon Thompson crew sporting tacky Christmas sweaters for yet another Here Comes Honey Boo Boo holiday special. It's a tad depressing to be watching all the Christmas preparations almost two months after the fact, but I am sure I will soon be thanking my lucky stars that I didn't spend my Christmas being sneezed on by any member of this family!
The episode begins with the June, Sugar Bear, Uncle Poodle and the girls decorating for Christmas and preparing for the crew's annual canned food and toy drive. I must commend them for their charity work. Last year, they were able to help 108 families in need, and this year June's goal is to raise $10,000 in donations. Sugar Bear is in charge of decorating the yard with countless light up plastic candy canes and nativity scenes, and I'm sure there will be some giant inflatable snow globes in the mix…a girl can dream at least. In the days leading up until Christmas, the family will spend their evenings standing in the overly decorated yard with Sugar Bear dressed up as Santa. Folks will come from miles around to see the debacle and donate items to the charity. They locate the plastic baby Jesus in the shed, but alas, his toes have been chewed off by some animal. I can barely get the phrase "forklift foot" out of my mouth before Chubbs steals my thunder.
Some of the decorations have seen better days, but June refuses to throw anything away. She attempts to fix a light-up white tree to no avail, declaring it the "Leaning Tree of Pisa." Alana shares that her mother is a hoarder and is also "bat poop crazy" when it comes to Christmas decorations. Hey, at least she said "poop," right? June is quite the handy woman with a roll of duct tape. Alana stays out of the way…singing a lullaby to the plastic baby Jesus before sneezing on him. I knew it was coming! I have to give it to June, she goes all out with the decorations, and she takes a lot of pride in their yard as it shows their Christmas spirit.
If we've learned anything from the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey, it's that blood is thicker than water…unless, of course, one of your family members refuses to hate on the same person you despise or tries to write a better cookbook with family recipes. Then, all bets are off! Basically, blood is thicker than water until someone tries to show up your sketchy accomplishments. It's funny really. When someone in my family succeeds, my first instinct is to be proud and supportive. I clearly have a lot to learn from Teresa Giudice, et al.
While she's not necessarily the biggest cheerleader for some of her family counterparts, Teresa will always stand by her man. And, let's be honest, Juicy Joe needs her. His drivers license hangs in the balance. That's serious, y'all!
Are you ready for some MAJOR dirt from one of the former Bachelorettes? I promise her name doesn't sound like Hey Nerd! Ali Fedotowsky was the franchise's sweetheart, first leaving Jake Pavelkaduring his season and then finding romance (and then heartbreak) with Roberto Martinez. Of course, we already know those deets…we want to hear about what goes on behind the scenes. Ali reveals that she did the hippity dippity on just one of her overnight dates, but she admits it could have happened with more than one guy if one of her favorites hadn't headed back to his girlfriend before her season's end. She also shares that one former Bachelor (try to guess who before clicking below!) used to take girls into the bathroom on group dates to test the merchandise! I think you'll also be shocked to hear who she thinks was the victim of a very bad edit. This is juicy stuff, y'all!
Oh yeah, and then there's Sean Lowe. I jest…it's just that Ali's chat has some great little nuggets! ABC has announced a new twist in the realm of Bachelor specials. Also, Sean dishes why he is choosing abstinence until marriage. I guess that's a little dirt from Sean.