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It's been a rough couple of days for Real Houswives of Orange County's Tamra Barney.  The outspoken Bravolebrity is in the hospital recovering from emergency surgery.  Very scary!  What she suspected was ulcer pain turned out to be a very problematic hernia. 

Before calling 9-1-1, Tamra took to Twitter to share her pain, tweeting, "Sh*t here we go again, think its time to see a doctor? Severe pain in upper stomach after drinking coffee. Ulcer maybe?"  Thankfully the ambulance came before she could fire off any more tweets.

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Basketball Wives' Evelyn Lozada just can't catch a break, can she?  First, she gets head butted by her God awful husband Chad Ochocinco Johnson when the pair had barely been married a month, said headbutting leads to divorce and the cancellation of her spin-off Ev & Ocho.  Add to that all the classy ladies Chad was seeing in addition to his wife, and it's been a pretty cruddy couple of weeks for the reality television star.

Well, they say when it rains it pours.  Now it seems that Evelyn's first scheduled post-abuse incident interview isn't going as planned either.  Not only that, one of Chad's best friends is coming to his defense and blaming Evelyn for the head butt heard 'round the world.  Do what?

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I just kan't kontemplate Kim Kardashian's antics anymore.  Will she ever just give it a rest?  Who am I kidding?  We all know the answer to that question.  Kim's newest attention-grabbing ploy involves her posting twitter pics of herself (of course) trying on a wedding dress.  I know what you're thinking…isn't she still technically married to Kris Humphries?  Um, yes.  Yes she is.  I am sure she hopes that this will have tongues wagging about a potential wedding to Kanye West.  As if I care…I think they are a perfect couple!  They will have to get a pretty big house though…just to fit both of their egos!

While the dress is a beautiful Emilio Pucci creation, is it wise for Kim to be rushing down the aisle again so soon.  Her last marriage only lasted seventy-two days–it probably took her longer than that to open all the gifts!  Kim posted the photo last night with the cryptic caption “Late night fitting #pucci” presumably to get her followers talking.  Bless her heart. 

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Good gravy, these Housewives never quit, do they?  I swear, if someone were filming the drama in my life, it would be almost as ridiculous.  "Blogger forgot to put her trash out tonight…and she's messy!  Will she be able to make it without requesting another city rolling garbage can for the street?  Or will she be forced to live with the stench for yet another week?  Tune in to find out what happens."  I mean, seriously?

Tonight, we've got news from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.  Well duh.  At least one of them is always doing something, aren't they?  This news may actually be a bit tame.  Thank goodness for small favors, right?

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Wow and wow.  Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice can't just leave well enough alone, can she?  As evidenced on the most recent episode, she's skilled at throwing her brother Joe Gorga and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga under the bus.  Is it just me, or weren't they finally getting along?

Now, believe me when I tell you, I think all of these ladies are a big ol' piece of work.  Unless Teresa's involved, it usually takes two people to create drama and tension (I'm looking at you Manzo sisters!), and it is, in my experience, much easier to always turn the other cheek.  When I was in college, my mother gave me the best advice when I was stuck in the throes of a manipulative friendship.  She said, even if people don't realize it now, and even if it takes several years and you no longer care, crazy always catches up to crazy.  She couldn't have been more right.

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Oh last night’s Dance Moms!  The moms are wearing their finest lido deck attire to hear the results of Abby Lee Miller‘s pyramid.  Seriously, I’ve never seen so many handkerchief gauze dresses in one place!  Abby praises her girls for a phenomenal recital.  This week, the girls are traveling to California.  Big times!

Paige is at the bottom of the pyramid due to her boot. Brooke joins her for a poor showing during the hip hop dance.  MacKenzie rounds out the bottom tier.  It seems the hip hop number was a bit over her head.  Nia is on the second rung.  While she garnered most improved last week, she doesn’t need to “rest on her laurels.”  Chloe joins Nia although Abby doesn’t have a bad thing to say about her.  Once again Maddie is on top for winning the recital’s scholarship.  Abby reminds Kendall that she’s not yet in the pyramid, but by golly is she working her way towards it.  Jill is livid.

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Perhaps the Overtones should stick to hanging with Mrs. Eastwood & Company and leave the driving to those who can stay on the road.  Last Thursday, an Escalade driving down 17 Mile Drive in Pebble Beach lost control and went careening out across the beach and into the ocean…at 11:15 in the morning.  An eyewitness says that the SUV was speeding down the scenic highway.

Now, the driver of that SUV has been identified as Valentino “Tino” Ponsonby.  Tino is a talented beat boxer who is part of the Overtones A cappella group, which is managed by Dina Eastwood…you may have heard of her.  Her husband Clint is supposedly legitimately famous…you know, for actual talent.  :)

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I knew I loved JWoww.  Not only is the Jersey Shore star a lover of precious meatball babies, but she’s a dog lover as well.  Jenni “JWoww” Farley is also doing her best to prove that the super tan guidos and guidettes aren’t just all about fist pumping, alcohol, and club music.

Finally, some news to report that involves a Jersey Shore cast mate and the cops that doesn’t end with a mug shot.  When Bradley Beach, New Jersey’s police department lost its beloved German shepherd Max, it was JWoww who stepped in to help.

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