Um, we've got a Situation here. Man, typing that never gets old! Just in time for tonight's two hour Jersey Shore season premiere, news is breaking all over the place that Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino has fallen off the wagon. Sitch entertained us with his abs in earlier season, but as the guidettes and juiceheads gained international notoriety, he seemed to have difficulty handling the fame. In recent seasons, it was obvious that he didn't just love the booze.
I don't think anyone was shocked when Mike entered rehab for prescription pill addiction. It's going to be an interesting final season with the two biggest partiers out of commission due to Snooki's pregnancy and Mike's sobriety, although I am thrilled for both of them. However, now that Lorenzo has arrived and the show has seen it's last fist pump, will the Situation be able to maintain?
Sometimes, I wish I could say that the housewives were seasonal…like the olden days TGIF on ABC. You have a season, you move on to reruns, lather, rinse, repeat. Of course, Bravo and Andy Cohen have made sure that there are housewives for the viewers all year long. No hiatus. No break. All housewives, all the time. I can complain about it knowing that I'd be even more upset if it wasn't this way.
So let's commence…the Real Housewives of New York had their finale this week, which means we are going to be subjected to reunion upon reunion (although not upon THIRD reunion, as they haven't quite reached RHONJ status yet). Let's check in with my beloved drama-free New York (non) Housewife to see what she has to say about her freshman season with the Cramona. Ladies and gentlemen, Carole Radziwill….
My new, most favorite housewife ever in the history of housewives, Carole is dishing on her first foray into the drama. Now I realize that not everyone is a Carole fan. To that, I say, WHY NOT!?!? She is drama-free, full of class, and calls it like she sees it. I could only wish more women in this franchise came from the Carole school of thought. Truth be told, I want her to put on a bra and be my best friend. And we so would be.
I have been waiting on pins and needles to learn the darker side of Andrew Coleman! I don't think we even hit the tip of the iceberg with the most recent episode, but I can't wait to hear what y'all think!
Last night's Flipping Out resumes with Andrew schreeching out of the parking lot. Gage Edward enlists Nancy to help fill the gaps. He's very excited to see Andrew hit the road. Jeff Lewis is floored, and he's scrambling to figure how to take over the projects Andrew was handling. He really thought Andrew was an asset to the office, so he's confused as to what has happened. Zoila Chavez does her best impersonation of Andrew storming out which Gage finds hilarious. Too soon for Jeff though. Too soon.
Jeff questions Jenni Pulos as to whether he should have seen some signs. What else did Andrew lie to him about? Jeff seems be hurt that things ended the way they did, and Jenni tells him not to beat himself up over the situation. He declares he's going to start doing back ground checks and checking references. Too little too late for Andrew! Jeff reveals that he followed up with Andrew's resume after he quit and it was a total embellishment. Someone really wanted to be on Bravo.
Last week, we reported on what a great weekMatt Barnes was having, given his secret wedding and the fact he got off with some minor traffic violations after being charged with felony resisting arrest. Well, Matt didn't necessarily handle that great week with class. Who's shocked?
The officer that arrested Matt had previously stopped the basketballer twice before, so clearly the pair had history. The cop even waited outside the restaurant where Matt was having dinner with Basketball Wives LA'sGloria Govan for hours to arrest NBA player on suspicion of driving with a suspended license (he wasn't). When Matt tried to hand his keys to Gloria, the officer charged him with felony resisting arrest. Hmm…something tells me there is more to the beef between these two that meets the eye!
If y'all are anything like me, you are still reeling from the first installment of the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion. Even though it was essentially four against one with Andy Cohen sitting there like a mannequin, I have totally switched gears. I may be the only person who now has no sympathy for Teresa Giudice. I mean, take some responsibility! Geez. I am getting hives just thinking about it.
However, there were some positives surrounding the reunion. What are those, you may ask? Just some narcotics and sky-high ratings, of course!
Wow. Give a girl a sitcom with actual accomplished actors who have been honing their craft for years and she will totally forget from where she came. Here's a quick reminder–NeNe Leakes, you are from a Bravo reality show in Atlanta! You may want to start practicing that humility that your real television star cast mates (you know, the ones who don't do reality television) have always shown.
NeNe has been talking a lot lately about how she may be finished with Real Housewives of Atlanta sooner rather than later so people will consider her to be a legitimate actress who isn't best known for cattiness and girl fights. I have a crazy, out-there plan. Don't be catty and instigate girl fights, and you'll probably do just fine!
Another Monday night, another episode where people have nothing better to do than meet for a) cocktails; b) lunch; c) breakfast; d) dinner; or e) all of the above. Are the VH1 producers actually asleep when they plan these episodes? Have they just totally given up completely? Oh well. Last night's Basketball Wives LA was more of the same, beginning with Wacky Jackie Christie's attempt at a make-up party.
Draya Michele and Malaysia Pargo are the first ladies to arrive for the soiree. Draya is a tad weirded out by the fact Jackie has framed pictures of the women all over the food table. It looks like a very fancy deli section at your local Harris Teeter. Take the stuff out of the plastic! It doesn't have to be served on a silver platter, but no one wants to see how much you spend on that egg salad! Laura Govan warily arrives second. Draya accuses Jackie of not trusting her to speak with Gloria Govan and calling Gloria herself. Gloria arrives with Brooke Bailey. Jackie shares that Draya is upset with her for calling Gloria, to which Gloria responds, if it weren't for Draya explaining the situation, she would have never come to Jackie's.
What happens when you take a show centered around a cooking club in Miami and splice and edit it into a housewives show? You get a boring season with a confusing dinner party in each episode. However, what happens when you revamp that season, let the ladies know to bring the drama, and replace some Basketball Wives with a supermodel and some successful surgically enhanced professionals? Amazingness…that's what. The only constant is Mama Elsa.
Real Housewives of Miami has certainly found its footing as a legitimate member of the Bravo franchise. These women (and their ginormous boobs!) certainly know how to bring the drama. Case in point? Joanna Krupa had a meltdown of epic proportions on the most recent episode, ruining the 10th anniversary party for her fiance's nightclub…all thanks to a cheating DJ. Now that's what I'm talking about, ladies!