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SOUTHERN CHARM -- Season:4 -- Pictured: Craig Conover -- (Photo by: Rebecca Miller/Bravo)

“I hear the train a comin’, it’s rollin’ round the bend…” and it is called the HOT MESS EXPRESS! That’s right folks, your favorite trust funders and Peter Pans are returning for a new season of Southern Charm, and legal eagle Craig Conover is dishing all about his co-stars and their journey to Bravo-lebrity status.

One of the most endearing things about Craig (in my opinion) is that he is very loyal…and he can’t keep his mouth shut. Whether he’s defending Kathryn Dennis’ honor, competing with Shep Rose, or lunching with Cameran Eubanks, chances are he’s going to say something that could potentially get him in hot water with his friends. I’ll be interested to see if any of them have opinions on Craig’s recent comments. Oh, and side note, our little Craig is growing up so quickly. He’s finally (FINALLY!) taken the bar exam!

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sister wives kody and wives

Andrea Canning took the reigns once again for the final installment of this season’s Sister Wives Tell All. As one would expect, there was a lot of focus on Meri and Kody Brown’s flailing relationship as well as Mariah’s recent announcement. To be fair, it was one of the more honest tell alls from this crew, but is that really saying much? As always, the older Brown children (and Christine’s newfound euphoria) made the rest of the gang much more bearable.

Kody and Meri discuss the pitfalls in their relationship and how Meri had told Kody to quit coming around her house. However, she still wanted him to be available to help her with household chores (that wet bar isn’t going to stock itself!) and engage in small talk. Andrea questions whether Meri banished Kody with the hopes that he would fight for her, but Kody counters that for months she would tell Kody to leave when he’d come around. Andrea attempts to remind them both of why they fell in love in the first place. Meri found Kody to be handsome (of course, those locks!) and dynamic, and he loved how she looked at him with respect and adoration. Christine reminds Andrea that Kody’s main focus is the family, and sometimes it is hard for the wives when they desire their husband’s undivided attention.

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Kandi is angry with Phaedra

This season of Real Housewives of Atlanta is messier than Bob Whitfield’s attempts at dancing and smoothie making, and we’re sure to see more of the drama on tonight’s new episode. Friendships are tested and tea is being spilled left and right. However, were any of these friendships actually genuine in the first place? If you’d asked me a few years ago, I would have predicted that Kandi Burrus and Phaedra Parks’ pairing would stand the test of time. They truly seemed to enjoy each other and have fun together.

Of course, we all know how that relationship has progressed! Thanks to all the not so subtle shade and Phaedra’s new alliance with Porsha Williams, the rift between Kandi and Phaedra seems to be widening…and Kandi wants fans to know she’s done staying quiet about it.

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joseline

Love her or hate her, you can’t argue that the self-proclaimed Puerto Rican princess is highly entertaining. Whether she’s dogging her ex Stevie J. (or “Stevie Lame” as she calls him) or calling out her co-stars, Joseline Hernandez is always over the top.

Even though the Love & Hip Hop Atlanta star just had a baby with Stevie (oh the drama between these two!), she knows she has to keep the cash flow coming. Joseline has cleaned up rather nicely (that’s an understatement, she looks gorgeous) for her recent guest hosting gig on The Real. In fact, she’ll be on today spilling the latest gossip on her co-stars Rasheeda and Kirk Frost.

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sister wives sofa

Where is Tamron Hall?? Last night’s Sister Wives Tell All was mediated by Andrea Canning, and it was, as it always is….lame. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed reliving the highlights from the season given that this season focused mainly on the older children.

With nary an introduction, the crew jumps immediately into Madison and Caleb’s wedding. A Caleb fan club is formed. The parents are beyond proud and the young couple is revered. Kody Brown’s officiating the ceremony but forgetting the rings is recalled. Robyn and Christine tout their newfound sister wife friendship after an issue with Kody that is never fully explained. When pressed about the argument that solidified the bond, Christine throws out phrases like “super mad” while Robyn nods (a lot). Kody jokes that his wives get upset with him for the most minor of infractions. Do I still have a pulse? I hope so, because I have nearly an hour of watching ahead of me!

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Dance Moms season finale recap

Nine times out of ten, I’m going to feel badly for someone facing something so serious, even with the knowledge that the outcome is deserved by the offender. Sure, Stevie J. of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta fame owes millions in child support, but don’t send him to jail–give him another show! Heck, I felt terrible for Teresa Giudice when she got sent up the river, but dare I say how she handled her prison time is one of the classier things the Real Housewives of New Jersey star has ever done. However, I just don’t feel badly for Dance Moms antagonist Abby Lee Miller. Lock her up for a bit. Perhaps she’ll gain a little perspective and humility. Who am I kidding?

Facing sentencing at a hearing tomorrow and another on February 24th (after what seems like a decade’s worth of postponements), Abby’s legal team is scrambling for a hail Mary so the dance studio owner can avoid any jail time. She’s currently facing up to five years in prison and an excess of $5 million in fines thanks to twenty counts of fraud involving her bankruptcy and generally just forgetting to declare some Aussie currency she brought back into the country…chump change, really.

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Lisa Vanderpump

Can we all just agree that game nights and the ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are just a terrible, terrible mix? It’s like tere and prostitution whores or Vicki Gunvalson and boyfriends or Kenya Moore and reality. They just don’t fit well together. Make it stop, Bravo. The charades I can handle…the drama, not so much!

On this week’s RHOBH, the dreaded recurring game night occurred at Kyle Richards’ abode, complete with the newbies and a very healthy looking Kim Richards but sans slut pigs (thankfully). Eileen Davidson used the opportunity to nitpick the accent memory and word choice and panty pranks of Dorit Kemsley, while Lisa Rinna revisited her long-standing feud with Kim. Don’t get me wrong, I am not quite on board with Dorit, but she clearly has no clue how to handle these women. I adored Eileen on Days of Our Lives (especially as Kristen DiMera’s crazy twin Susan), but her pettiness is exhausting. Ditto for Rinna’s hustling and QVC line anger at Kim. At least the even keeled Lisa Vanderpump is here to give us her words of wisdom!

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sister wives mariah

Wonderful readers, please accept my sincerest apology for missing last week’s recap…I was discombobulated with the holidays. You missed what would have been a post rehashing eighty minutes of a certain someone whining more about what she swears was an innocent online relationship turned farce, topped off with four minutes of a not so shocking revelation from one of the Brown children. Last night’s Sister Wives episodes dealt with Mariah’s recent announcement, which unlike her sisters Madison and Mykelti before her, had nothing to do with an engagement. After coming out as a lesbian to Kody Brown and her moms, a huge weight seems to have lifted off of Mariah’s shoulders. Good for her! I would guess that some of Mariah’s behavior and attitude of late has been due to keeping such a big secret. Immediately, Janelle starts laughing–she was so worried Mariah was going to say she was ill. Robyn jumps up in tears of joy.

Both Robyn and Janelle embrace Mariah saying that she seems so happy to have found herself. Kody and Meri stay seated, with Meri sulking that Mariah didn’t tell her first. Christine asks how Mariah has come to this revelation. Mariah cries, revealing that she was homophobic because she was so terrified of her own feeling after hearing such negativity about the gay community from others in her religion (but not from her immediate family). As she explains her thought process to her parents, it’s refreshing to see Janelle, Christine, and Robyn with such huge grins on their faces. Janelle and Robyn are bursting with pride for Mariah. Meri is the only one yet to speak, and Mariah praises Robyn for making her feel like being gay is okay. The other wives leave, and Meri offers a hug. Kody envelopes his daughter in an embrace and tells her that he loves her unconditionally and he’s so glad she felt safe enough to come out to her family.

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