On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, Kim Zolciak Biermann had to brave the mean streets of Los Angeles without the protection of chef Tracey husband Kroy Biermann. Of course, life of a wannabe momager isn’t always easy, and if she’s going to help skyrocket her twin Brielle and foul mouthed KJ into super stardom. Who do you think would win in a cage match between Kim and Kris Jenner?
The episode begins with Kim complaining about how often Tracey prepares fettuccine alfredo. Sure, Kim loves pasta and eats it everyday, but Kroy deserves something fancier in the kitchen. Tracey would love to get to use her actual culinary skills, but (shocker!), her talent is lost on the Biermanns. She admits that when she started cooking for the family, she made everything from scratch with fresh ingredients, but gave up when it became obvious that they preferred canned crap. Tracey cites being the Biermanns’ cook has been the most difficult experience of her career…and she was on Top Chef. Kroy insists he’s a foodie, although he’s never heard of exotic foods such as flank steak and tomatoes. Tracey promises to wow them with an upscale menu when they return from Los Angeles. They are taking Brielle to meet with Access Hollywood and have arranged for two huge casting agencies to fight over who will reap the benefits of KJ’s future celebrity.
Thank you, Lifetime! My prayers have been answered. Last night’sDance Moms episode was only an hour long. Finally! I never thought this day would come! We are back to some semblance of structure. Abby Lee Miller is actually present for the pyramid! If that’s not enough, Jill Vertes gets to throw out her favorite word–favoritism–regarding the minis. It’s status quo once again!
In case you missed the first fifteen hours of this season, Jill is sick and tired of the mini team taking Abby’s attention away from Kendall and the elite team. However, she’s the loudest to cheer when Abby announces yet again that the minis’ latest group routine garnered the most points. In fact, it’s Holly Frazier who is first to challenge Abby regarding the drama surrounding last week’s competition. Kira happily joins in and Jill quickly stops cheering and starts chastising. Stacey, the only mini mom whose name I’ve chosen to learn, is very vocal about how horrible the veteran moms are. Lather, rinse, repeat, week after week, season after season.
There’s a certain polygamist we all know who seems to take the same stance on reality show exposure as he does his wives. The more the Meri-ier (insert cringe-worthy groan here)! Don’t even act like you’re surprised!
Sure, I’m excited to learn that TLC has renewed Sister Wives for yet another season. I’m a red-blooded woman, so that means I adore Kody Brown and his hair follicles just as much as any other gal. Sheesh, it was hard to type that and keep a straight face. All joking aside, get ready to have yet another reason to be thankful…Kody and his four wives are returning on Sunday, November 27th at 8 PM to TLC. In tow are their 18 collective children (18 and maybe counting? Robyn certainly looks “glowing” in the promo picture).
Sheesh! Drama much? What a silly question. After all, we’re talking about Abby Lee Miller and Dance Moms! Last night was certainly no picnic in the park (ahem) amid the studio owner’s mounting legal issues. Abby’s bankruptcy is once again in the news, and she’s favoring the minis, so you can imagine how well that goes over with Jill and her cackling hens. But hey, we’re spared the monotony of a pyramid, so that’s a silver lining, right?
Last night’s episode begins with the mothers speculating about Abby’s bankruptcy woes and what it could mean for their daughters’ careers. On cue, Abby comes dramatically sweeping into the studio. Refusing to acknowledge anyone, she quickly locks herself in her office. She doesn’t have time for such frivolous activities as teaching her students. Can you blame her? And, as I just said, there is no pyramid to endure. There is also no sign of Jessalyn and JoJo Siwa. Jill reveals she’s tried calling several times with no response.
I’m not going to bend your ears anymore complaining about why in the name of all that is decent Lifetime has decided that ninety minutes is the new norm when it comes to this season’s Dance Moms episodes. I guess the network just doesn’t have any reality stars that are as riveting as Abby Lee Miller and her band of dancers. I should be used to it by now, and it will be a special treat if I ever check the Lifetime schedule and see a show only spanning an hour. Silver linings! Of course, the veteran moms are still feuding with the mini mothers.
The episode begins with a heart wrenching announcement from Kira. A friend of Kalani Hilliker’s from the Arizona dance community has committed suicide. She has spoken with Abby and hopes the difficult topic will be addressed with the team. After last week’s solo bomb, it’s no surprise that Abby isn’t in the greatest mood for this week’s pyramid. Since they didn’t compete, the minis are spared the pyramid and sent to work with a guest choreographer. Abby vows to make more time for them this week, as she hopes she’ll find a mini-Maddie in the bunch.
Have we decided who is collectively more miserable? Is it the veteran Dance Moms or the mini mother planning their tiny coup? Perhaps we just call it even and declare Abby Lee Miller the nastiest participant in this crazy reality show? Anyone? Over/under? Perhaps the truest evil genius is Lifetime for continuing to subject us to these super-sized episodes.
Jill is now more focused on Kendall’s music as that’s what making waves for her daughter’s teammate Nia Frazier. She feigns excitement for JoJo Siwa’s latest music video, reminding Kendall that her album is what is most important. Jill has gone so far as to dissolve Abby’s role as Kendall’s manager, and she is bracing for Abby’s wrath as a result of that decision. Before pyramid, Jill warns the other mothers that Abby may be in rare form due to her lawyer’s letter to Abby firing her. This should be fun.
If you’re like me, you were very excited to tune in to last night’s super sized premiere of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles. For me, the anticipation was even greater than normal, given I’d spent my afternoon chatting over tea and crumpets with the lovely David Parnes and James Harris. Both gentlemen were incredibly easy to talk to, complimentary, and gracious. I may create some kind of mix of their responses on my sound machine so that their lilting accents can lull me to sleep at night? Weird? I’m totally kidding then…
Yesterday I shared my interview with James, and he filled us in on working the Malibu scene with Madison Hildebrand while refraining from dishing any dirt on his dear pal David. Did David return the favor? You’ll have to read and see. He does share some crazy open house shenanigans (I’m going to replay in my mind him excitedly stating “pandemonium!” while figuring out how to work that word into my everyday vocabulary, using his accent when I say it, of course) and hints about difficult times in his personal life we’ll be privy to this season.
Cheerio, y’all! Without a doubt, the most amazing part of this job is getting to interview the fancy folks I get to watch each week on television. Every time, I’m happily surprised by how down to earth these people are – but this time, I wasn’t shocked at all. I knew the British gentlemen from Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles would exude nothing but grace and class – what a privilege to get to chat with James Harris and David Parnes!
With the premiere of MDLLA looming this evening at 9 PM/ET on Bravo, it was a huge treat to get to speak to two of the most gracious reality stars on the planet. In an effort to give you dear readers twice the accent and double the gentility, I’ve split their separate interviews into two posts. Tonight, please enjoy a peek into the charismatic personality that is James Harris. He’s absolutely every bit as precious as he appears on the show…maybe more so!