I don’t know about y’all, but I am more than ready to put 2016 to bed and start fresh with a new year. The past year has brought a lot of bad, but it hasn’t been all bad, especially if you’re a reality television junkie like myself. In fact, as 2016 draws to a close, we can celebrate another triumph in the tumultuous year…a new baby, courtesy of everyone’s favorite dysfunctional Love & Hip Hop Atlanta couple.
Sure, the Puerto Rican princess Joseline Hernandez and her husband (are we sure they’re really married?) child support poster childStevie J. are known for bringing the drama, but now they’ve brought a new life into the world. Their daughter Bonnie Bella was born on December 28th, and in true Joseline fashion, the labor and delivery were epic events.
Last night was the first Brown wedding on Sister Wives…well, the first Brown wedding without Kody Brown as the groom, if you want to get technical. Clearly, it was a two-hour episode, and it begins with the family prepping the venue in Bozeman, Montana. Maddie is stressing over the decorations and timeline while trying not to go batty on her siblings who don’t know the meaning behind a bohemian, sporadic, rustic, free-spirited theme. Kody and Janelle wax poetic about how they saw the spark between Caleb and Maddie when they interacted a few years back at Kody’s brother’s funeral. As you recall, Caleb’s sister is Maddie’s aunt. The wives and Kody think the world of Caleb for how well he took care of his sister after her husband’s passing. Sweetly, Caleb has chosen his nephews as his groomsmen.
The family reminisces over the engagement period, and, not surprisingly, Kody hasn’t even started planning how he will officiate the ceremony. He’s been suffering from insomnia due to the pressure. Maddie isn’t shocked to hear that her dad is so unorganized, and she’s trying her best not to panic. Kody assumed that Caleb’s father, a pastor, would take the reigns, but after recently losing his wife, he wasn’t up to the task. Gracious, could Caleb’s dad be any more precious? Mykelti’s fiancée and his family are going to have some big shoes to fill.
TLC is clearly following around Kody Brown and his wives twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week given how much footage the network seems to have on the family. As you know, there were two episodes of Sister Wives last night, y’all! As Kody infamously says in the opener, “Episodes love should be multiplied, not divided.” Sheesh.
The first episode begins as Janelle is planning a bridal shower for Madison, and she’s struggling with how much to include her fellow sister wives in the process. Poor Janelle isn’t the best when it comes to party planning (don’t believe me? Go re-watch last season’s Thanksgiving debacle with Meri!), and she doesn’t want to get railroaded by her fellow wives who love a good themed event. Janelle is meeting with the planner, and she’s adamant about not letting the guests bring any lingerie. It’s so tacky! The party planner vetoes Janelle’s request to put “No Lingerie” or “Only Classy Gifts” on the invitation. She also jokes about surprising Maddie with some male strippers.
Greetings, dear readers. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. TLC clearly wanted to prolong your celebration by giving you an extra hour of the premiere of Sister Wives for which you can be grateful. Twice the Kody Brown follicles, twice the teen wedding shenanigans! We’ve got double the Christine happy pills, Janelle frankness, and Meri passive aggression. Robyn was there as well. 🙂 Fix up a turkey sandwich with those amazing leftovers, and prepare to roll your eyes at the antics of the Brown family.
As the super-sized season begins, the Browns are ecstatic about Madison’s upcoming wedding which, in TV time, is two month away. Maddie asks Truely if she’ll be the flower girl. The wives joke about pulling off a traditional wedding given polygamist ceremonies are quiet and low key with minimal guests. Christine’s got jokes (they won’t be mothers-in-law, more like outlaws!), and everyone seems to be genuinely getting along on the velour sofa. Christine has clearly upped her meds given Mykelti’s news that she’s ready to marry her boyfriend of five months. She has to approach Kody before Tony asks for his daughter’s hand. She calls her husband, and Kody is prepared for the worst even though he’s very used to getting urgent texts and calls from his wives about something important. Christine regrets how her initial conversation went with Mykelti – she wasn’t excited or supportive.
Last night’s Dance Moms showcased the competition where Abby Lee Miller’s former elite team would be facing off against the minis, and, per the usual, ugliness and petty shenanigans ensued. Do we think she’s going to end up going to jail?
On the day of competition, the elite team squares off against the minis. Abby instructs the veteran moms to have their daughters write a list of why they hate her so much. Holly Frazier won’t stand to be spoken to in such a manner in front of the girls, and she ushers everyone into the venue. Jill Vertes uses Abby’s words against her, reminding her that everyone is replaceable. Abby is confident that her minis are better at their age and the elite team was back when they were six. The veteran moms question whether the mini moms are okay with Abby’s behavior and they are met with hemming and hawing from the newbies. Ashlee suggests that the women present a united front so Abby cannot treat their daughters badly. Before the competition, the elite girls are in good spirits and glad to be away from Abby and her meanness.
Congratulations are in order for Maddie Brush and the rest of her Sister Wives family! Maddie, who wed Caleb Brush in June after showcasing their engagement on the show, is pregnant with the couple’s first child and due in May of next year. It will be the first grandchild for Kody Brown and his second wife Janelle, with Robyn, Meri, and Christine as bonus grandmothers…not to mention a gaggle of aunts and uncles of all ages–seventeen and counting so far!
The timing couldn’t be more perfect with the latest season of Sister Wivespremiering this Sunday. If Kody can’t keep procreating, his older children can carry the torch (and perhaps the story lines) for the show. Now if only he can find a predecessor for those aging follicles…and a guarantee TLC will foot the bill for a multitude of future weddings!
Last night’s Don’t Be Tardy showcased a stressful time in the Zolciak-Biermann household. Teen angst was at an all time high. Kim and Kroy didn’t see eye-to-eye. Red solo cups were flung around with reckless abandon, and the phrase of all phrases was born (and continues to echo through my brain). Thank you, Bravo. Just thank you.
The episode begins with Kim and crew heading to an Atlanta studio. Kim has used Instagram to set up a dance lesson for Brielle, ChefTracey, and Shun. Everyone is wearing sexy heels, but poor Tracey is having a very hard time with her footwear. The lesson for today is some stripper dancing, and Kim is ecstatic that she can finally hang out with Brielle as besties and not just in the mother-daughter capacity. Not to mention, Kim loves some gyrating!
Is it bad that I’ve decided that yet another hour long Dance Moms episode means that something is right with the world? Perhaps that was Steven Collins’ plan all along with that slew of ninety minute ridiculousness! Either that, or I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Thirty Year Old Grandma!
On last night’s show, the veteran mothers made good on their threat to look elsewhere for training, and Abby Lee Miller threw yet another tantrum. It was pretty amazing, to be honest. In light of Abby’s legal woes and mounting erratic behavior, the women decide to rent out their own studio. The elite team is ecstatic, and Kira gifts the girls with a new team jacket. She’s enlisted a rival dance instructor and famed choreographer given the girls will be performing at a competition with the ALDC minis. Kalani Hilliker is thrilled to be working with Erin, and the entire team seems to have a renewed confidence. An added bonus? No pyramid!