Well I know what I’ll be doing tomorrow night! Bravo seems to be cashing in on everything Giudice now that the stars of Real Housewives of New Jersey are heading to the clink. I have to admit, I am still a bit of shock to think of Teresa Giudice serving actual time. Something tells me that Juicy Joe wasn’t surprised to hear his sentence. I feel like he’s been dodging the law for so long, it has to be a bit of relief to get to stop running.
Of course, the Giudices (and the network that introduced them to the world) want to proactively handle the insane publicity that is sure to intensify as we countdown to Tre’s lock-up. Andy Cohen is no dummy. He’s going to milk this for all it’s worth, and he’s already teasing the Giudices’ Monday appearance in the clubhouse on the heels of Teresa canceling her public appearances.
Welcome to Hollywood! The girls of the ALDC have arrived in California for Nationals. On last night’s Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller wanted to remind everyone that she’s a star maker. The original mothers and daughters are in the studio, and they are in shock when the select team arrives on their heels. You know it’s bad when even Holly is huffing and puffing about things. Abby shuts down the bickering by starting the pyramid. Chloe is on bottom because her foot injury wouldn’t allow her to dance last week. Christi announces that Chloe’s doctor has cleared her to dance. MacKenzie follows for walking the fine line between decent and silly. Nia falls to the bottom rung for not living up to her winning performance the week before. Kendall is in third, followed by Kamryn for playing up to Abby. No surprise, Maddie is on the top for balancing her amazing performances with her plethora of outside opportunities.
Is anyone else worried that someone is really going to get injured (injured bad!) on this season of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood? These broads love to fight! Wait, how am I just now noticing that this is the first L&HH franchise that has boys men featured in the credits? I must overuse the fast forward button! Anyhoo, the show resumes with Teairra Mari and Hazel fighting over stolen thunder and non-existent relationships, when Ray-J arrives to dump on the party. Literally. He tosses a box full of Teairra’s things on the floor of the tattoo salon, telling her that he hated her blatant disrespect at his launch party. Ray-J has returned her Monistat and various other lady parts over the counter medications. At this point, Teairra tries to charge him, and he promises producers that he won’t hit a woman. Even though Hazel is still upset with her friend, she goes to bat against Ray-J. Her sometimes/former/friend/roommate deserves better treatment from this “has been.” Her words, not mine.
Nia is still upset with Soulja Boy for lying to her about another woman. He is just ready to move past the silliness. She looks like a young twenty-something lying in bed with a very tatted twelve-year-old. It’s creepy how young he looks. But hey, when he’s forty, he’ll finally look of age! Soulja placates Nia by promising to step up to the plate and change his flirtatious ways. He’ll even change his number if she’ll just stop nagging him! Meanwhile, Apryl is concerned about Omarion’s upcoming tour. She certainly doesn’t want to be left alone with his hateful mother. Omarion hates being caught in the middle of the two ladies in his life.
Bless is little hizz-nigh-eeee-art. You didn’t think that Lil’ Scrappy of the infamous Love & Hip Hop Atlanta went into hibernation between the volatile seasons of the hit show, now did you? Even after that bout of insanity labeled as a three part reunion special, Scrappy is still a man about town in the ATL.
My favorite butcher of the English language was walking the red carpet at last week’s BET Hip Hop Awards with daughter Imani, and he felt compelled to dish-nigh-zeezee on what’s going on in his life while the shiz-nigh-ow is on hiatus. In case you were wondering, Queen Momma Dee is keeping busy as well…working on her music. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, for sure.
Has this season of Dance Moms been going on long enough that we’re already at ALDC showcase? Abby Lee Miller is still torturing her dancers as to who will compete in Nationals. Who cares about Nationals…did y’all see Maddie do her Chandelier dance on last night’s Dancing with the Stars? She is crazy talented, but that dance has always given me the shivers. However, it’s safe to say that her duet partner is going to give me full on night terrors. How creepy was that? Sorry, I digress.
Abby is stressed and exciting about her upcoming dance concert. Kamryn has returned and Christi is upset as Chloe has already beaten her before. In the pyramid, Chloe is on the bottom because of her injury. MacKenzie follows for not being in sync in the group number. Kendall is in third for getting second to Nia. Maddie is second on the pyramid. Abby reminds her that if a bigger opportunity for her that conflicts with Nationals, she’ll have to take it instead of joining her team. Deservedly, Nia is in the top spot for her first time ever as the highest scoring soloist at the competition. A teary Abby announces that the group number will be a tribute to her mother. Additionally, each girl will be showcasing a forty-five second solo that will be her audition from Nationals. Abby will not rehearse nor watch the routines before the concert. The girls are on their own to choreograph what they believe is their best vignette.
Are y’all back for round two of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood? I have to thank the readers for reminding me where I’d seen Teairra before! Mona loves to recycle! Let’s get started with last night’s episode, shall we? Ray J’s party is a mess of crazy. Morgan tries to calm Teairra Mari, but she gets increasingly agitated as she keeps getting pushed and swatted. This is why Morgan has distanced herself from her former friend…she always gets physical. Ray J is yelling obscenities at his ex as she’s escorted out of the party. While Teairra is pissed at Morgan and Ray, her true hatred is directed at Ray’s new love Princess.
Moniece and Apryl are meeting at Hustler so that Moniece can do some research for her sex toy line. Apryl is getting turned on looking at the toys because she’s become increasingly horny in the later months of her pregnancy. That isn’t too much information at all. As the women chat, Moniece asks Apryl about Fizz’s new girlfriend Amanda because she’s heard that Apryl and Amanda are friends. Moniece has reached out to Amanda, and she’s got some harsh words the woman who is hanging out around her son. Apryl urges Moniece to take the high road and be nice to Amanda since getting along would be in little Cameron’s best interests. All Moniece can promise is that she won’t wipe the floor with Amanda’s face. So technically Amanda isn’t Fizz’s new girlfriend. He admits they have been together for two years. Fizz wants Amanda to spend more time with Cameron, but she is hesitant given the potential baby mama drama. Amanda reveals to Fizz that Moniece e-mailed her and wants to talk. Fizz warns Amanda that his ex is likely to pop off on her. It’s dangerous. Amanda believes that this is a sign that Moniece is maturing.
So, the artist formerly known as Bow Wow is making an honest woman out of Erica Mena. Who would have guessed? I had no idea that 1) that Bow Wow was trying to drop his famous moniker in favor of his real name (good luck with that, Shad); or 2) that he was dating Love & Hip Hop’s original hot mess. #loosecannonbymona
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one. Shad’s announcement that the pair is now betrothed set the Internet abuzz with people confused about the undercover couple and just who Shad Moss is (I kid, I kid). Is VH1 thinking of venturing into the realm of wedding specials?
While I realize this big event happened on Monday, I’ve needed a few days to recoup, catch my breath, and stop crying over lost love lust. That’s right. My one and only has found another that he liked so much, he, well you know. It’s with a heavy heart that I announce that myRyan Serhant of Million Dollar Listing New York has popped the question to his beautiful girlfriend Emilia Beckrakis. Need I remind you who first broke the story of Ryan’s budding romance from last season?
The reality star is known for being equal parts frat-boy, d-bag (aren’t they sometimes one and the same?), and real estate machine, often times making his co-stars cry in the process. Thankfully for them, Emilia brings out the softer side of Ryan. Now, let’s take bets as to whether we’ll be treated to a Bravo wedding with this pair, shall we?