Last night was the season finale of Dance Moms, and I don’t know about you, but I’m wondering who I’m going to spend my Tuesday evenings with now that Abby Lee Miller is on hiatus. Who will brighten my day with her cheer and positive attitude? Still in Los Angeles and prepping for Nationals, Abby has the elite team facing off with the select crew, and she’s striking fear in the hearts of both teams with the threat of Cathy’s Candy Apples. Abby then springs on the crew that Maddie may be doing solo, and Melissa states that she thinks that the other girls should have a chance to win. What? She’s finally putting being liked by the other mothers over her daughter winning every routine she enters?
Across town, the Candy Apples are rehearsing their group routine to Chandelier as a dig to Maddie’s Sia video. At the ALDC studio, Abby is hoping that her “Amber Alert” group number will send chills up the spines of the audience, but MacKenzie’s dancing says otherwise. Abby has had it with her group routine, and she urges Maddie to practice her solo in the event she needs a slam dunk in the competition. Nia speaks up, asking why they aren’t focusing on the group number since it’s the most important. Until Nia and Mack-Z can get in sync, Abby thinks Maddie’s efforts would be best spent elsewhere. The other moms are livid with Melissa for not speaking up…I guess her need for inclusion was short lived, although the moms are kidding themselves if they think for a second they wouldn’t behave the same to further their daughters’ careers. As Holly, Christi, and Jill henpeck her, Melissa erupts into a bleeping ball of anger. I knew you had it in you, girl!
I’m not going to lie, I’m really getting into Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. I am totally revisiting my younger self’s love of B2K. Plus, it’s kind of a nice switch to see a show where most (well, some) of the men are actually being good guys for a change. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s only the first season. That won’t last. Speaking of, my three favorites, Fizz, Omarion, and Soulja Boy (in that order) are catching up over a game of basketball. They talk about how their lives are changing due to families and relationships. It’s a far cry from the the threesome conversations that took place in strip clubs on the Atlanta franchise. Across town, Nikki is dishing with her mom about her current situation with Mally Mal after tricking her into thinking the pair is engaged. Nikki’s mother may need her own show based on her assessment of Ray-J’s junk. Whose mother talks like that? I love it! Not to mention, she’s not Mal’s biggest fan.
Hazel is enjoying her new place, complete with Berg who wants to crash but not cuddle. She is excited about date night, and Berg is just happy to booze and get his. However, the next morning, he reminds her that they are just two friends, hooking up and having a good time. This goes right over her head as she gives him the googly eyes and begs him to become a better man. He’s ready to become a better man–and friend–to her. I mean, Hazel doesn’t have to even read between the lines here. Berg is spelling it out for her and she still doesn’t get it. How is she confused? Hazel wants more. She wonders if he expects her to keep sleeping with him when he’s bedding other women. Yes. Yes, that’s exactly what he wants to happen. Hazel is in tears. She can’t keep being a jump-off. Okay, then DON’T. This girl needs to get a clue.
Well I know what I’ll be doing tomorrow night! Bravo seems to be cashing in on everything Giudice now that the stars of Real Housewives of New Jersey are heading to the clink. I have to admit, I am still a bit of shock to think of Teresa Giudice serving actual time. Something tells me that Juicy Joe wasn’t surprised to hear his sentence. I feel like he’s been dodging the law for so long, it has to be a bit of relief to get to stop running.
Of course, the Giudices (and the network that introduced them to the world) want to proactively handle the insane publicity that is sure to intensify as we countdown to Tre’s lock-up. Andy Cohen is no dummy. He’s going to milk this for all it’s worth, and he’s already teasing the Giudices’ Monday appearance in the clubhouse on the heels of Teresa canceling her public appearances.
Welcome to Hollywood! The girls of the ALDC have arrived in California for Nationals. On last night’s Dance Moms, Abby Lee Miller wanted to remind everyone that she’s a star maker. The original mothers and daughters are in the studio, and they are in shock when the select team arrives on their heels. You know it’s bad when even Holly is huffing and puffing about things. Abby shuts down the bickering by starting the pyramid. Chloe is on bottom because her foot injury wouldn’t allow her to dance last week. Christi announces that Chloe’s doctor has cleared her to dance. MacKenzie follows for walking the fine line between decent and silly. Nia falls to the bottom rung for not living up to her winning performance the week before. Kendall is in third, followed by Kamryn for playing up to Abby. No surprise, Maddie is on the top for balancing her amazing performances with her plethora of outside opportunities.
Is anyone else worried that someone is really going to get injured (injured bad!) on this season of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood? These broads love to fight! Wait, how am I just now noticing that this is the first L&HH franchise that has boys men featured in the credits? I must overuse the fast forward button! Anyhoo, the show resumes with Teairra Mari and Hazel fighting over stolen thunder and non-existent relationships, when Ray-J arrives to dump on the party. Literally. He tosses a box full of Teairra’s things on the floor of the tattoo salon, telling her that he hated her blatant disrespect at his launch party. Ray-J has returned her Monistat and various other lady parts over the counter medications. At this point, Teairra tries to charge him, and he promises producers that he won’t hit a woman. Even though Hazel is still upset with her friend, she goes to bat against Ray-J. Her sometimes/former/friend/roommate deserves better treatment from this “has been.” Her words, not mine.
Nia is still upset with Soulja Boy for lying to her about another woman. He is just ready to move past the silliness. She looks like a young twenty-something lying in bed with a very tatted twelve-year-old. It’s creepy how young he looks. But hey, when he’s forty, he’ll finally look of age! Soulja placates Nia by promising to step up to the plate and change his flirtatious ways. He’ll even change his number if she’ll just stop nagging him! Meanwhile, Apryl is concerned about Omarion’s upcoming tour. She certainly doesn’t want to be left alone with his hateful mother. Omarion hates being caught in the middle of the two ladies in his life.
Bless is little hizz-nigh-eeee-art. You didn’t think that Lil’ Scrappy of the infamous Love & Hip Hop Atlanta went into hibernation between the volatile seasons of the hit show, now did you? Even after that bout of insanity labeled as a three part reunion special, Scrappy is still a man about town in the ATL.
My favorite butcher of the English language was walking the red carpet at last week’s BET Hip Hop Awards with daughter Imani, and he felt compelled to dish-nigh-zeezee on what’s going on in his life while the shiz-nigh-ow is on hiatus. In case you were wondering, Queen Momma Dee is keeping busy as well…working on her music. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, for sure.
Has this season of Dance Moms been going on long enough that we’re already at ALDC showcase? Abby Lee Miller is still torturing her dancers as to who will compete in Nationals. Who cares about Nationals…did y’all see Maddie do her Chandelier dance on last night’s Dancing with the Stars? She is crazy talented, but that dance has always given me the shivers. However, it’s safe to say that her duet partner is going to give me full on night terrors. How creepy was that? Sorry, I digress.
Abby is stressed and exciting about her upcoming dance concert. Kamryn has returned and Christi is upset as Chloe has already beaten her before. In the pyramid, Chloe is on the bottom because of her injury. MacKenzie follows for not being in sync in the group number. Kendall is in third for getting second to Nia. Maddie is second on the pyramid. Abby reminds her that if a bigger opportunity for her that conflicts with Nationals, she’ll have to take it instead of joining her team. Deservedly, Nia is in the top spot for her first time ever as the highest scoring soloist at the competition. A teary Abby announces that the group number will be a tribute to her mother. Additionally, each girl will be showcasing a forty-five second solo that will be her audition from Nationals. Abby will not rehearse nor watch the routines before the concert. The girls are on their own to choreograph what they believe is their best vignette.
Are y’all back for round two of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood? I have to thank the readers for reminding me where I’d seen Teairra before! Mona loves to recycle! Let’s get started with last night’s episode, shall we? Ray J’s party is a mess of crazy. Morgan tries to calm Teairra Mari, but she gets increasingly agitated as she keeps getting pushed and swatted. This is why Morgan has distanced herself from her former friend…she always gets physical. Ray J is yelling obscenities at his ex as she’s escorted out of the party. While Teairra is pissed at Morgan and Ray, her true hatred is directed at Ray’s new love Princess.
Moniece and Apryl are meeting at Hustler so that Moniece can do some research for her sex toy line. Apryl is getting turned on looking at the toys because she’s become increasingly horny in the later months of her pregnancy. That isn’t too much information at all. As the women chat, Moniece asks Apryl about Fizz’s new girlfriend Amanda because she’s heard that Apryl and Amanda are friends. Moniece has reached out to Amanda, and she’s got some harsh words the woman who is hanging out around her son. Apryl urges Moniece to take the high road and be nice to Amanda since getting along would be in little Cameron’s best interests. All Moniece can promise is that she won’t wipe the floor with Amanda’s face. So technically Amanda isn’t Fizz’s new girlfriend. He admits they have been together for two years. Fizz wants Amanda to spend more time with Cameron, but she is hesitant given the potential baby mama drama. Amanda reveals to Fizz that Moniece e-mailed her and wants to talk. Fizz warns Amanda that his ex is likely to pop off on her. It’s dangerous. Amanda believes that this is a sign that Moniece is maturing.