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Buckle up!  Last night was yet another crazy episode of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta.  I am really going to miss these ladies when the season ends.

We start–where else?–with Joseline wearing the most ridiculous “outfit” for a photo shoot.  She looks like a mermaid Beyonce in drag.  There is a lot going on to say the least.  Stevie J. arrives and he’s not feeling her ensemble.  Perhaps he wants her to dress more patriotic like himself.  He immediately goes off on her for texting his baby mama.  She has a name!  I mean, how hard is it to say, “Did you text Mimi?”  Joseline calls Mimi Faust a b*tch, and Stevie doesn’t like her disrespecting his family.  He storms out of the photo shoot.  Joseline goes back to her posing.

Momma Dee and Shay meet for lunch.  Shay knows she needs to tread lightly and get on Momma Dee’s good side so she can grow her relationship with Lil’ Scrappy.  Momma Dee is very happy that her son is with Shay, and she warns Shay that she may have to check Erica Dixon at some point.  She says they can either act like ladies or handle it with some gangsta sh**.  I have a feeling Momma Dee hopes it’s the latter.

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American Idol winner Jordin Sparks has stepped out with a rocking new figure thanks to diet, exercise, and good old fashioned hard work.  The star has recently lost fifty pounds!  How did she do it?  She entirely changed her diet and lifestyle, implementing new strategies to make sure that the pounds just melted away.

Jordin touts cutting out her Starbucks cravings and late night snacks, and swapping out sugary drinks and treats with healthier options.  She also swears by portion control and not eating within two hours of going to bed.

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On last night’s Big Ang, we were treated to house parties and dog shows, with a little emergency care mixed in for good measure.

Ang takes Louis to be groomed.  He is adorable, but he turns into a little gremlin when they put the hairdryer on him.  He’s trying to bite people left and right.  Ang needs Louis to be a beautiful pooch because she’s planning to enter him in a dog show.

Janine was able to get Ang her dream house, but moving and Big Ang don’t get along.  Lil Jen is helping her get settled, but her stuff seems to be multiplying.  As Jen says, Ang has enough furs to start a zoo.

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Oh Vicki Gunvalson…I just don’t know what to say.  You’re so business savvy, and while I’m glad that your love tank is finally full, I continue to question your choices.

After an explosive two part Real Housewives of Orange County finale followed by an even more intense two part reunion, the relationship between Vicki and her Cajun beau Brooks Ayers is more front and center than it has been–and we all know it’s been pretty front and center.  Vicki talks to Bravo about the tumultuous season, and she seems to play down the drama.  Um, we were all watching!

Vicki tells Bravo, “I’ve been on the show for seven great years, and each season has had its ups and downs.”

Of watching in real time Vicki insists, “[I]t’s still interesting for me to watch the show with everyone else,” stating, “[M]uch of what you don’t see is the quieter moments, how much I love just being at home and enjoying time with my family. I have to laugh, it makes for boring TV, but I love those quiet times too!”

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We resume with our favorite Mob Wives: Chicago ladies with Christina Scoleri‘s party going to heck in a hand basket.  After all, NoraNora Schweihs did just accuse Renee Fecarotta Russo‘s dad of raping her.  Pia Rizza is just thrilled that finally the other ladies are seeing the Nora that she sees.

Nora is crying to the point that her make-up is running so she makes a quick exit.  Renee is quoting Forest GumpChristina can’t believe that none of the women are even slightly siding with Nora.  Has she watched any of the episodes?

Pia decides to hash out the party antics with her fifteen-year-old daughter.  Pia wants her daughter to hear their crazy family history before she hears it on the mean streets..or at school.  Bella is very mature, but she sure didn’t need to hear that her mom punched someone in the face.  Just let this poor girl navigate high school sans the drama!  Pia is doing an ugly cry, but her daughter is a stellar and mature fixture.  Should she get her own show?

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The National Geographic Channel (thank goodness they stopped trying to make “Nat Geo” stick) is introducing a new series that promises to be equal parts The Godfather, Jersey Shore, and The Sopranos.  The show, American Gypsies, sounds like it will be entirely amazing, given that it’s produced by none other than everyone favorite martial arts underdog, Daniel-san Ralph Macchio.  When does it start??

Ralph tells the Huffington Post, “This is a fascinating subculture that exists right here in New York. I was astounded by some of the customs and what I would call unorthodox choices and traditions, but [they were] kind of relatable in a way with me being from a Greek-Italian-American family. They have strong beliefs and family comes first — this story needed to be told.”

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I hope the following news doesn’t cause Mob Wives’ Renee Graziano another epic meltdown.  It seems that her ex-husband Junior Pagan has gotten really good at turning on his mobster friends.  It shouldn’t be too hard to do, considering he’s had practice ratting out his father-in-law!

The NY Daily News reports that Junior has now snitched on two men, Richard Riccardi and Luigi Grasso, who were his accomplices during a robber which ended in a fatal shooting.  Junior testified that Riccardi supplied him with guns and Grasso accompanied him to rob a man who was an associate of a rival family.  When the man resisted, Junior shot him in the leg, causing the man to bleed to death.  The Junior and his cohorts made off with over $10,000.

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Last night’s Teen Mom wasn’t quite as depressing as I thought it would be, so that’s a plus right?  There were other pluses too…a dog got painted, Maci finally realized Bentley needed to socialize with kids his own age, Amber decided to stick it out in rehab, and Butch reveals that he isn’t a big drinker.  Just wait.

Farrah Abraham is a Less Than Happy Hostess

Farrah’s sister Ashley is visiting her in Florida.  Her mom will be arriving in the next few days for a visit.  Farrah reveals that she and Sophia have a more better place to live in Florida than she ever had at her mom’s house.  Yes, yes, Farrah.  It’s way more better.  How’s school?

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