Leaping lizards! This week’s Real Housewives of New York followed the same formula it has all season: Heather Thomson is frustrated with Sonja Morgan and her toaster oven shenanigans, Sonja is flighty, Jacques gets more Gellar-like, criticism goes over LuAnn de Lesseps‘ head, Aviva Drescher has anxiety and a kinky, super tan dad, Reid is adorbs, Carole Radziwill is the voice of reason with a less than stellar wardrobe, and Heather’s Cheshire cat grin irks the poo out of pinot swilling Ramona Singer. Lather, rinse, repeat. So it was kind of a shock to learn that this episode was the most watched since the premiere with 1.7 million viewers tuning in to the Bravo show.
Thankfully, we have the women’s Bravo blogs to rehash the events of the week. Let the passive aggressive digs begin!
Real Housewives of Orange County‘s Alexis Bellino may buy cars and diamonds and boobs, but she isn’t buying Twitter followers, y’all! Last week, the misunderstood Jesus Barbie’s popularity soared when she scored 30,000 new Twitter followers in one day. After her surge, former OC househusband Micah Tanous tweeted, “I just answered a call from the company that is SELLING all the current #RHOC cast their Twitter followers, What a F’ing Joke!” This led Tamra Barney to follow suit with “once a fake, always a fake” and Heather Dubrow to comment “lame, but not surprising.”
Alexis wants to set the record straight, so it’s no shock she gives Fox News the exclusive. She claims that the 30,000 followers quite possibly could be a result of a security breach.
I always knew Catelynn Lowell was a stand-up girl, although it wouldn’t be hard to look like a gem given the shenanigans and drama of her Teen Mom counterparts. She and her boyfriend Tyler Baltierra made the difficult decision to choose adoption for their daughter, and they both seem to be on the right track…which can’t be easy given their addict parents who happen to be in an abusive relationship with each other. It’s super twisted.
Anyhoo, Catelynn has a six-year-old brother Nick, and she doesn’t want him growing up in the same environment she had as a small time. She’s even pledged to adopt her brother if her mom April Baltierra falls off the wagon again.
There’s a battle brewing between two MTV reality stars…one who is famous for getting pregnant and spending a lot of time in jail, the other is famous for getting drunk and spending a lot of time in clubs. To whom could I be referring? Well duh! It’s the Teen Mom everyone loves to hate Jenelle Evans and everyone’s favorite meatball Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi!
Tired of her Twitter followers calling her out for being a bad mom, Jenelle decided to divert attention to another mom-to-be. She recently tweeted a picture of the Jersey Shore star with an alleged Snooki quote reading, “There is no way I’m changing any diapers when my baby is born. That is disgusting. That’s what maids are for and babysitters. I don’t have time for that. I’ll have them do that stuff. I’ll be there for the good parts, like dressing my son up and making sure he got style. You don’t have to cook or clean or change diapers to be a good mother. My son will have everything he wants. He’s going to be a little star like his mommy.” Accompanying the pictures, Jenelle wrote, “OMG no offense… but you call ME a bad mother… but look what @snooki said about her baby… thats straight F–KED UP.”
Cha-ching! Hear that? It’s the sound of Teresa Giudice cashing in on her humiliation with another magazine cover! She’s embarrassed, y’all! If you recall, her husband Juicy Joe calls her a not so nice word on the upcoming episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. He’s such a sweet talker.
As we all know, when Teresa has something to say–anything to say–she heads over to chat with her pals at In Touch Weekly…provided there is a cover up for grabs. And what cover would sell more magazines than one of a distraught and humiliated Teresa talking about her marriage to Juicy? It’s sheer marketing genius.
Oh Kendall Kardashian Jenner! Please stop following in your older sisters’ footsteps. Just do your modeling thing, and stop using Twitter as a vehicle to flaunt yourself. Oh well. I guess you do come by it naturally. And speaking of naturally, Kendall recently posted a picture of herself on Twitter wearing a string bikini with the caption “all natural.” I’m assuming she’s referring to plastic surgery or photoshop. One would hope she hasn’t had any plastic surgery, given she’s only sixteen. However, if I’ve learned anything, it’s don’t put anything past those Kardashians Jenners! The aspiring model recently told E!, “I want to be the next Gisele Bündchen. Everything she does, who she is, what she’s done, she’s just amazing.” Good gracious.
Of course, Kendall’s big sister Kim Kardsahian is known for her fashion highs and lows (and really lows). Always dressed for a runway show (although it sometimes looks like a Project Runway rejects show), she is complimented and criticized for her wardrobe choices at every turn. New York Magazine recently did an entire photo shoot and spread on Kimmie and why she will never be the person that high fashion and couture designers want wearing their clothes. Something tells me she’s going to wear them anyway. Ouch. It’s shocking to me that Anna Wintour would think that someone whose career was jump started by a toilet themed sex tape wasn’t worthy of being a fashion icon.
After one of her followers suggested she write a memoir, Kim recently tweeted, “Book……..should I write a book?? Mmmmmm…… I’ve thought about about it. So much to say………. ” Just from her time on the show, I am sure she has enough material to fill a tome, but when you add in all her other ups and downs, perhaps she could do a Kim Richards trilogy. I’d read it just to get some dirt on Splits McGee and the Gay Bull Mastiff!
Last night’s Dance Moms was the same old, same old. The girls rise above while the moms act like mean teenagers. A certain hoarse voiced dance instructor sinks to a new low.
It’s pyramid time yet again. Abby Lee Miller is proud that the girls were the highest scorers, and she wants to keep this winning streak in tact. Kendall is actually on the bottom of the pyramid…I guess she should be happy she’s even there. Brooke is also on the bottom for not performing her number due to back spasms. Abby wants to make sure that Brooke knows she’s not being penalized for being injured…she’s penalized for being scared. Abby could see the pain in her face starting with the first rehearsal, and she’s upset that Brooke didn’t have the cajones to tell her she couldn’t dance before the actual competition. Paige is also on the bottom for not coming to rehearsal…because she had a broken foot. That makes sense.