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Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was every bit the scripted guilty pleasure that it always is.

Joseline and Erica meet to discuss their fight.  Joseline apologizes for accusing Erica of sleeping with Stevie J.  Erica refuses to accept said apology and goes off on how she doesn’t like Joseline.  For once–and I am shocked to type this–Joseline is the bigger person and walks away from the conversation when she realizes there is no changing Erica’s mind.

Mimi Faust is packing up Stevie J’s belongings.  While she loves him, she just can’t stay with a man who is unfaithful.  I’m pretty sure she isn’t just learning this, but whatevs.  Ariane comes over to check on her friend, and she’s shocked that Mimi is actually biting the bullet.  Mimi reveals that she’s still very sad, and she would love for their relationship to work.  Basically, Mimi’s bottom line is Stevie is welcome back if he stops screwing with Joseline.  Clearly she doesn’t really care if he’s faithful, she just doesn’t want him to be unfaithful with the likes of Joseline.  Baby steps, I guess.

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Just in time for my trip to the beach–the Jenner/Kardashian’s former nanny Pam Behan has released a tell-all book!  The book, Malibu Nanny: The True Adventures of the Former Kardashian Nanny, details Pam’s time with the family which began on Bruce and Kris wedding day.  She formerly worked for Bruce’s second wife.

The Huffington Post reports that Pam clearly loved watching the Kardashian brood.  When she began working for the family Kourtney was twelve, Kim was ten, Khloe was six, and Rob was four.  She maintains that the girls were very well behaved, although there was an occasional unsupervised party.

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Big Ang, don’t fail me now!

Ang’s husband Neil is getting a third chance, as Ang allows him to move back into her house.  He hopes his wife will welcome him home with a delicious dinner.  Ang is too busy being stressed by the amount of boxes he’s unloading.  She and her ginormous breasts tell Neil that third time has to be the charm or he’s done for good.

At her sister’s request, Ang goes to the cardiologist.  She says a lot of stuff that I think warrants subtitles.  I may have picked up on the fact that she has to monitor her stool at home, and Ang is appalled about having to place her poop (my word, not hers…duh) in the mail.  I hope I’m wrong.  She chats with her doctor and reveals that she’s there because someone mentioned that she looked like a heart attack waiting to happen.  Her doctor explains that her check-up was fine, but she really needs to quit smoking.  Judging on her voice alone, he can tell that she’s a longtime smoker.  Ang gets a huge kick out of this revelation and rewards him with a raspy laugh.  He warns her that a heart attack or cancer will be the least of her concerns if she doesn’t quit.  I think he may want her to lay off the tanning as well until I remember it’s of the spray variety.

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Last night’s Mob Wives Chicago was yet another party foul.  These women can’t get along to save their lives, although they aren’t nearly as tough as their original counterparts.  At all.

Christina Scoleri fancies herself a designer.  Watch out, Project Runway!  She invites Pia Rizza over to share her new creation.  Christina is designing a dress for Renee Fecarotta Russo.  Pia relives her altercation with Nora Schweihs while Christina can’t believe all of this drama is happening on the eve of her party.  Pia is sick of people disliking her for being a stripper.  She reveals to Christina that Nora also used to “dance.”  Christina is floored to learn that Nora used strip, she doesn’t think she made much money.  While Pia has issues with Renee, she is willing to hang out with her at Christina’s party. Christina isn’t willing to throw Nora under the bus quite yet, because Nora hasn’t done anything to her.  Pia cusses up a storm.  Should be a great party!

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The women of the Real Housewives of Orange County make my head spin.  After a tumultuous season, Vicki Gunvalson is still standing by her man Brooks Ayers.

In an interview with WetPaint.com Vicki opens up about what happened this season, and her relationships with her daughter and former friend.

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So apparently hottie Roberto Martinez isn’t the new Bachelor…yet.   Chris Harrison spoke to RadarOnline.com to quiet the rumors that Roberto was a sealed deal for next season.

“I will confirm it, he’s not the Bachelor, we’ve not named anybody to be the Bachelor yet,” the show’s host tells the site.

“We don’t need to, we don’t name anybody so early,” Chris explains. “I love the speculation and that people are talking about our show but we just don’t need to make decisions yet.”

Don’t get him wrong, he loves Roberto.  He says, “He is a great guy, I love Roberto. First of all I hear he’s stunningly handsome, and he’s a very nice guy, he has a lot to offer and would be a great Bachelor. I would put my vote behind him but luckily I don’t have a vote.”

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Everyone get out your violins!  Real Housewives of New Jersey’s Teresa Giudice is once again talking about how wronged she’s been…while not directly answering questions and bragging about being famous.  Oh, except she’s humble too.  Very humble…with white teeth, because, you know, she and Juicy are getting into the teeth whitening business…which is why he isn’t going to court, as he has to attend a seminar on teeth whitening.  You know, judges are usually pretty lenient on letting you pick when you do and don’t come to court.  My head is spinning already!  Read on to see Teresa’s stellar pity party interview with the Daily Beast.  She hasn’t done anything wrong, y’all.  Nothing!

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Oh Atlanta.  You just want to be a normal metropolis.  I can assure you it won’t happen if you continue to let Love & Hip Hop Atlanta film in the peach state, but now the Real Housewives of Atlanta are adding to your pain.

Sister2Sister is reporting on a fight between NeNe Leakes and everyone’s favorite sex toy purveyor Kandi Burrus in the franchise’s filming of season five.  The cite reveals that the Bravo duo got “into a fight with production.”  Read that again, dear readers.  It’s unclear as to whether NeNe and Kandi were fighting amongst themselves or taking on production in a solidified front.  Who knows?  Who cares?  It’s drama regardless!

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