She is, she isn't. She quit, she got fired. Yes, no. She wants to return, she doesn't want to return. I feel like I'm pulling petals off a daisy when it comes to Real Housewives of Orange County'sAlexis Bellino. But guess what, y'all…she's ba-ack!
After promising anyone would listen that she wasn't coming back for another round (on her own accord, mind you), it's being reported that Alexis will be a full-time housewife on the upcoming season of RHOC. I really can't say I'm surprised. I'm guessing you're probably not that shocked either.
Speaking of housewives, Kody Brown, his hair, and his plethora of ladies will be returning for a fourth season of Sister Wives on TLC, and speaking of crazy manes, Jerseylicious will be back for more hair-raising antics (literally!) on the Style Network.
Last night's Flipping Out had Jeff Lewis and crew back to normal after the gorgeous wedding of Jenni Pulos. However, tension flares between Zoila Chavez and Gage Edward. It's a cat fight of epic proportions between Miss Piggy and Barbie Bitch! This looks like a job for Dr. Donna!
Jeff's cat Monkey has an eye infection and can't keep any food down, so he has Jenni make a vet appointment. Monkey is his first pet, and he's had him for twelve years. Jeff begins teasing Zoila about making an unintentional but inappropriate hand gesture when asking the security guard through the window if he wanted some water. Everyone but Jenni jumps on board and makes fun of her about it. Zoila gets upset, and Jenni scolds everyone for bullying. Jeff tells Zoila that she can dish it but can't take it. Looks like that therapy session didn't help as much as one could have hoped!
In the car, Jeff jokes with Vanina about her recent break-up, promising her she'll find love again. If Jenni can do it, anyone can! Jenni stays quiet, but when Jeff asks her what's wrong she brings up his awful wedding jokes. He talks about how is ADD was all over the place during speech after boring speech, and he didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. He admits to being rude, but only because he was subjected to so many horribly long toasts. Jenni reminds Jeff that Jonathan hasn't known him as long as she has, so he may be more sensitive to Jeff's humor. She gets some semblance of an apology, and all is well.
As if Khloe Kardashian having to share the stage with sister Kim's ex-husband Damon Thomas wasn't enough (I'm still crossing my fingers they'll end up biffles–how hilarious would that be?), now we have a list of the X Factor's contestants' house rules. Admittedly, while I love a singing competition, much of my viewing of them comes from YouTube clips. You all have to remember Susan Boyle's Britain's Got Talent audition, right? I get teary just thinking about it. Simon Cowell, the hardazz, chewing on his pen while falling in love? Priceless!
That said, I've been lukewarm on the X Factor thus far this season. I was actually glad that Britney Spears didn't turn into the train wreck that seemed to be expected of her, and after getting Demi Lovato's newest song stuck in my head 24/7 and knowing her struggles, I like her as well. Who is there for me to snark on if I like everyone involved? Thankfully, knowing what the contestants are and aren't allowed to do, I have a new outlet, and it's awesome. Let's face it, the rules I'm about to share with you are less about compliance and more about human decency and common sense. Thankfully, peeps who are trying to make their name on reality television have neither!
Money can't buy you class, according to Countess Luann, but if you're Toni Braxton's ex-husband, it can buy you a lot…illegally! That's the thing about declaring bankruptcy. I'm not going to pretend to know the inner workings of bankruptcy filing, but I do know that you have to follow some strict rules.
The singer and star of Braxton Family Values filed for bankruptcy in 2010, citing between $10 million and $50 million in debt. And I thought I had it rough! Now, Toni is being accused of fraudulently wiring her ex-husband Keri Lewis over $50,000 after the money had been set aside to pay creditors.
Last night's Basketball Wives LA was once again centered around Jackie Christie. We resume with Brooke Bailey's pool party where Gloria Govan, Laura Govan, and Draya Michele watch ol' Wacky change from heels into sneakers as if she's ready for a fight. Draya ignores Jackie's insanity, but she does offer her a cigar when she shares some smokes with the ladies. Jackie wonders if there are explosives in her cigar. Wait to let a sleeping dog lie, lady!
Bambi and Malaysia Pargo arrive, and Brooke immediately pulls Bambi aside to hash out their differences. They actually have a lot more in common than just that guy. Bambi appreciates Brooke for doing her best to be honest and squash the tension between the two. Brooke still isn't Bambi's biggest fan, but she wants to enjoy her party. In the spirit of apologies, Jackie approaches Draya in hopes they can find time to mend their relationship. All in all, the pool party is one boring snoozefest of a success, but at least no one was injured!
Laura meets up with Bambi at the park to see if they can't brush their issues under the rug as well. I am beginning to see a common theme emerging of "squashing beef," and I'm happy to see them "meeting up" at somewhere other than a boutique/coffee house/bar. Baby steps. Laura goes in for a hug but gets shafted by Bambi. Bambi goes in for a high five/fist bump but gets called out by Laura. They settle on shoulder rubbing. You just can't make up this stuff. Laura thinks Bambi is aggressive and Bambi thinks Laura is a bully. Bambi wants to know if it bothers Laura to look so fake, but Laura doesn't mind if her phoniness involves Jackie. Laura tries to explain that if Bambi knew the real Jackie she would realize why Laura is acting the way she is.
Well, this is awkward! Perhaps we won't be seeing Kim Kardashian trying to upstage her sister Khloe on her new X Factor gig, given that her ex-husband (the first one, not Kris Humphries) will be one of the mentors on the upcoming season.
Damon Thomas, who has nothing but not nice things to say about his ex-wife, is going to be a fixture once Khloe starts her hosting gig along side Mario Lopez. I may have to actually tune into the next season to see the whole uncomfortable dynamic of it all! How horrifically amazing! I bet Kris Jenner is beside herself. Loves it!
Some news today from the Land of Ewww, which is of course governed by King Doug Hutchison and his Queen Princess Courtney Stodden. The fifty-two-year-old "actor" and his eighteen-year-old wife (who was sixteen when they wed) have been making waves on the latest season of Couples Therapy.
The duo has always flaunted their love (for lack of a better word) and her body wherever they could find paparazzi, but it seems despite all the semi-pornographic pictures of the pair there seems to be trouble in paradise. That, coupled with the fact they both are major fame whores, has brought them front and center to VH1's train wreck.