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So what I’ve learned is that just because you rap it, it doesn’t make it real.  It seems we all could learn a lot from the illustrious Kanye West.

In Kanye’s song Cold he raps, “Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team.”  Of course, he is referring to his best buddy Jay-Z having girlfriend Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband kicked off the New Jersey Brooklyn Nets.

Today, after scoring a $24 million contract with the team, Kris Humphries tweeted, I’m up at Brooklyn! @ S_C_ ‘lucky I didn’t have Jay drop me from the team’ lol!”  TMZ reports that it is a two year contract with a pretty significant raise, given that his prior contract was for a year at $8 million.  Maybe Beyonce is in her team-owner hubby’s ear a little more than his rapping partner in crime…

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It was the birthday party from H-E-double hockey sticks on last night’s Dance MomsAbby Lee Miller doesn’t only have some of her dancers in tears, but some of the moms as well!

The bottom of the pyramid is Paige because of Kelly changing her choreography.  While Abby is proud that she beat her Candy Apple counterpart, perhaps she would have beaten her even better with Abby’s moves.  MacKenzie joins Paige on the bottom, followed by Brooke who is finally off of probation.  The middle rung Nia and MaddieChloe takes the spot for landing her solo in the top ten and winning the overall best costume award.

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In what may just be the least shocking news ever, it seems that there are still fans of Jon & Kate Plus 8 who walk among us.  Well fan.  Singular.  And it’s Kate Gosselin herself.  Color me surprised!

The former reality mom turned fifteen minutes of fame diva recently tweeted, “Wow. We all agreed: we miss our show&the adventures and huge opportunities to help and entertain :)others! Why am I watching and crying??!:)”  My guess is she’s crying because she’s no longer on television, but I could be totally wrong about that!

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It’s official.  I am going to have my own reality television show.  I am not sure of the concept (although I am sure all of you would line up to watch me watch reality TV), but it will happen.  Why, you ask?  Well, it seems that anyone–and I mean ANYONE–can get their own show these days.  I know that’s no surprise to any of  you though.

Next up, it’s time to sit back and relax with The Game (real name: Jayceon Terrell Taylor, thanks Google!).  He’s done beating up people, getting shot, and hanging out in jail, and, according to TMZ, he’s ready to walk down the aisle!  The rapper is working with 51 Minds Entertainment to create a show which follows his engagement and wedding to fiance Tiffany Cambridge.  The show will reportedly showcase Game as a family man helping to plan his wedding.  While neither the rapper turned reality star nor the production company will comment, it’s rumored that the show has already been pitched to MTV and VH1.

No word on whether Chad Ochocinco will be on hand to give wedding advice!

WILL YOU WATCH THE GAME’S SHOW?

[Photo Credit: Josiah True/ WENN.com]

Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was every bit the scripted guilty pleasure that it always is.

Joseline and Erica meet to discuss their fight.  Joseline apologizes for accusing Erica of sleeping with Stevie J.  Erica refuses to accept said apology and goes off on how she doesn’t like Joseline.  For once–and I am shocked to type this–Joseline is the bigger person and walks away from the conversation when she realizes there is no changing Erica’s mind.

Mimi Faust is packing up Stevie J’s belongings.  While she loves him, she just can’t stay with a man who is unfaithful.  I’m pretty sure she isn’t just learning this, but whatevs.  Ariane comes over to check on her friend, and she’s shocked that Mimi is actually biting the bullet.  Mimi reveals that she’s still very sad, and she would love for their relationship to work.  Basically, Mimi’s bottom line is Stevie is welcome back if he stops screwing with Joseline.  Clearly she doesn’t really care if he’s faithful, she just doesn’t want him to be unfaithful with the likes of Joseline.  Baby steps, I guess.

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Just in time for my trip to the beach–the Jenner/Kardashian’s former nanny Pam Behan has released a tell-all book!  The book, Malibu Nanny: The True Adventures of the Former Kardashian Nanny, details Pam’s time with the family which began on Bruce and Kris wedding day.  She formerly worked for Bruce’s second wife.

The Huffington Post reports that Pam clearly loved watching the Kardashian brood.  When she began working for the family Kourtney was twelve, Kim was ten, Khloe was six, and Rob was four.  She maintains that the girls were very well behaved, although there was an occasional unsupervised party.

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Big Ang, don’t fail me now!

Ang’s husband Neil is getting a third chance, as Ang allows him to move back into her house.  He hopes his wife will welcome him home with a delicious dinner.  Ang is too busy being stressed by the amount of boxes he’s unloading.  She and her ginormous breasts tell Neil that third time has to be the charm or he’s done for good.

At her sister’s request, Ang goes to the cardiologist.  She says a lot of stuff that I think warrants subtitles.  I may have picked up on the fact that she has to monitor her stool at home, and Ang is appalled about having to place her poop (my word, not hers…duh) in the mail.  I hope I’m wrong.  She chats with her doctor and reveals that she’s there because someone mentioned that she looked like a heart attack waiting to happen.  Her doctor explains that her check-up was fine, but she really needs to quit smoking.  Judging on her voice alone, he can tell that she’s a longtime smoker.  Ang gets a huge kick out of this revelation and rewards him with a raspy laugh.  He warns her that a heart attack or cancer will be the least of her concerns if she doesn’t quit.  I think he may want her to lay off the tanning as well until I remember it’s of the spray variety.

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Last night’s Mob Wives Chicago was yet another party foul.  These women can’t get along to save their lives, although they aren’t nearly as tough as their original counterparts.  At all.

Christina Scoleri fancies herself a designer.  Watch out, Project Runway!  She invites Pia Rizza over to share her new creation.  Christina is designing a dress for Renee Fecarotta Russo.  Pia relives her altercation with Nora Schweihs while Christina can’t believe all of this drama is happening on the eve of her party.  Pia is sick of people disliking her for being a stripper.  She reveals to Christina that Nora also used to “dance.”  Christina is floored to learn that Nora used strip, she doesn’t think she made much money.  While Pia has issues with Renee, she is willing to hang out with her at Christina’s party. Christina isn’t willing to throw Nora under the bus quite yet, because Nora hasn’t done anything to her.  Pia cusses up a storm.  Should be a great party!

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