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As if any of you were planning to watch the fifth season of Basketball Wives, I have some breaking news that may just send you over the edge completely.  TMZ.com is reporting that three of the ladies (and yes, these may actually be considered ladies) are getting axed from the show.  While nothing has been confirmed, VH1′s official statement is, “We don’t comment on casting until everything is final. Thanks for checking in.”  However, when you hear who is getting the boot–and why–I doubt you’ll be surprised.

First to hit the road is Royce Reed.  Why?  I would say it’s obvious.  First, a lot of the women, including Queen Bee Shaunie O’Neal herself, refuse to film with Royce.  I am guessing that makes it more difficult to have a legitimate story line.  She doesn’t go on the cast trips, isn’t invited to birthday dinners, and misses out on all the bottle throwing and brawls.  Lucky.  Second, due to a gag order that has been in place since 2009, she isn’t even allowed to say the name of the basketball player to whom she was never a wife.  Sorry, Royce, but the writing seems to be on the wall for you.

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Last night’s Around the World in 80 Plates found the chefs in Bologna, Italy.  It’s a tad awkward because the teams remain on the same team.  That means Liz Garrett and Jenna Johansen are going to have issues.  After an immune Liz voted for Jenna in the last challenge, Jenna is confused.  Wasn’t she Liz’s biggest cheerleader in the kitchen?  Um, maybe Jenna is confusing “cheerleader” with “bitter Betty.”  John Vermiglio reminds his remaining teammates that they are all great chefs…although some might be clumsier than others.  #curseofthewhitebeans

The black team (Nookie Postal, Avery Purcell, Nick Lacasse, and the immune Nicole Lou) is riding the high of their win.  Both teams arrive at the Parmigiano Reggiano Creamery where they get their first clue.  They learn that the winner of this course will win $10,000.  Each team must find three wheels of cheese which are marked with a triangle, signifying that the cheese hasn’t aged properly.  No big deal, right?  Both teams enter the creamery where they are greeted by walls and walls and walls (and WALLS!) of cheese.  Right of the bat, the red team finds one marked wheel, then another.  They are leaving with their third wheel as the black team finds their second.  The members of the red team collect their next clue.  They must deliver one wheel of cheese to Tamburini Salumeria in the historic district of Bologna.  John is glad that Jenna and Liz have put aside their differences to work together.

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Oh Abby Lee!  You are livin’ on the dance floor…that’s for darn sure!  First off on last night’s Dance Moms, Abby reminds her girls that they are every bit as sluggish and boring as they were at the competition.  B to the O to the Ring were these little ladies last week…according to the all-knowing Oz Abs.

Shockingly, Maddie is at the bottom of the pyramid.  Melissa thinks that her daughter’s place is not okay, but she’s willing to let the other girls have their position at the top.  Joining Maddie is McKenzie who placed tenth.  In case you didn’t know, Abby doesn’t do tenth.  Paige rounds out the bottom of the pyramid for missing a step.

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Womp, womp, womp.  You tried, Kris Humphries!  If you were hoping to get to watch Kim Kardashian squirm her way through her deposition, you’re out of luck unfortunately.  Unlike her intimate moments with Ray J, her deposition will not be taped.

An insider close to the divorce proceedings tells RadarOnline.com, “Both parties mutually agreed that it wasn’t necessary to have Kim and Kris’ deposition filmed.  There will be a private stenographer present that will provide a transcript of the proceedings.”  50 Shades of Kartrashian, perhaps?

“There was concern about the depositions being filmed and then getting leaked to the media. To ensure that won’t happen everyone recognized and agreed to not have proceedings filmed,” continues the source.  “However, Kris’ lawyer, Lee Hutton has told Laura Wasser that they absolutely intend to ask that cameras be permitted in the courtroom when this divorce goes to trial.”

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Hear that?  I’ll tell you what it’s not—it’s not the sound of ice clinking in a vodka cocktail for one of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, that’s for sure.  After numerous reports of drunken meltdowns for everyone’s favorite lady (it’s called sarcasm…), sources are telling RadarOnline.com that Taylor Armstrong has eased off the sauce a bit as the women continue to film their third season.

“Taylor has been noticeably more subdued and under control since the horrible trip to Ojai. She is trying to curb her drinking when the cameras are rolling because she recognizes that she has a very low tolerance for alcohol,” explains an insider close to the show.

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If you thought messing with Phaedra Parks from Real Housewives of Atlanta was a bad idea, don’t even consider messing with her mom!

As you know, Phaedra, reality starlet, quotable wordsmith, lover of pickles, and attorney extraordinaire, did not take kindly to Vibe.com financially backing Angela Stanton’s tome of slander “Lies of a Real Housewife: Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil,” and she recently filed a multi-million dollar lawsuit against the site’s parent company.  Now it appears that her mother, Pastor Regina Bell, is following suit…literally!

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Extra host and Dancing With the Stars alum Maria Menounos shared a shocking secret with Howard Stern.  Yesterday, during an interview with the shock jock, she admitted she was terrified of doctors…and she has good reason to be.  HollywoodLife.com reports on Maria’s admission that she has been molested by not one, but two doctors.  A few years ago, the entertainment correspondent was asked to disrobe during a throat exam.  The doctor then began fondling her genitals.

She reveals, “I was really young, so I was uncomfortable.  [My boyfriend] Kevin was in the waiting room and I literally started screaming . . . I was just so uncomfortable I didn’t know what to do.”

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John Salley is back to lead us through the second installment of the Basketball Wives reunion special.  Last night’s portion proved to be more of a train wreck than the first time around which was basically just one giant PR move.  I don’t know about y’all, but I am ready to say good riddance to these “ladies” for a very long time.

John reminds us of Evelyn Lozada and Chad Ochocinco’s relationship.  Besides the Masarati, I wonder if Evelyn can watch this and not see how poorly he speaks to her.  Chad is funny and all, but she is a doormat with him!  Evelyn promotes the couple’s spin-off for a bit, happy she has the opportunity to show viewers a softer side.  John then segues into listing Royce Reed’s relationships throughout the seasons.  Of Dezmon Briscoe, Royce will only say curtly that they are doing “good.”  John reminds her of Dezmon and his baby mama’s twitter drama.  Royce says she chose to stay with him for all the things he did right instead of the one thing he did wrong.  Footage of her fight with her father is shown.  John jokes that Royce is a crybaby, and he pretty much sides with her dad while doling out his own fatherly advice.  John also shows clips from her New York acting debut that ended up on the cutting room floor.  Tami Roman reveals she was pleasantly surprised at Royce’s talent.  John touts that as quite a compliment because he believes Tami is an amazing actress.  Huh?

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