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After a volatile competition on the last Dance Moms: Miami, last night the dancers are back to learn their places on the list.  Abby and Sammy are noticeably absent.  Debi isn’t too sad to see that they aren’t present.  Angel is upset about the drama that went down at the competition, especially with the moms (cough, cough, Suzie, he means you!).

Sammy is at the bottom of the list, presumably since she dropped Kimmy and then tried to blame shift, but it works out well since she’s also a no-show at practice. Hannah is fourth on the list due to technique even though she did well at the competitionLucas, who won first for his solo, is third because he threw Sammy under the bus and tattled on her for saying Kimmy’s timing was off in the group number.  Am I seeing things or did smoke just come out of Brigette’s ears?  I think she’s more upset at that news than Lucas.  Kimmy gains second place for taking the blame for something she didn’t do.  Ani is shocked.  She figured her daughter would be much further down the list due to her dancing.  How weird is it not to see a mom get upset about their child’s placement!  Jessi places first for dancing well and juggling the stress that her crazy mother bestowed upon her.  True that!

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If you were watching last week’s Real Housewives of Orange County, you know there was an quite the jaw dropping scene, and I’m not talking about Alexis Bellino’s birthday speech.  Vicki Gunvalson and newlywed daughter Briana Culberson got into quite the war of words regarding Vicki’s new beau Brooks Ayers and Briana’s new husband Ryan…you know, the guy who took Vicki’s one and only daughter to a drive-thru wedding chapel.  She just can’t get over that, can she?  Briana even goes as far as saying that her mother was having an emotional affair with Brooks while still married to Donn.  Vicki discusses the fight in this week’s Bravo blog:

When I was in Briana’s condo having this terribly heated discussion with her, I knew no matter what I said, I wasn’t going to convince her to accept Brooks and I dating. For that matter, no matter what she said was not going to convince me that marrying Ryan so quickly was the best decision either. I believe no matter who I was dating, she would have reacted the same way. It wasn’t Brooks in particular; it was me dating in general.

What you didn’t see is I left her home in tears, and just sat in the street and prayed, cried, and prayed some more. I realized it was not the end of the world if my daughter does not like the man I am dating.

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It’s Basketball Wives time yet again, and last night the ladies were still stirring up drama and screaming their way around the resort.  I sincerely hope no one else is staying there on vacation!

Jenn Williams and Kenya Bell have arrived in Tahiti.  I wonder if they passed Kesha Nichols in the airport.  Jenn reminisces about her very similar honeymoon with Eric.  On the sunset cruise, Tami Roman is already starting the damage control.  She tells Evelyn Lozada and Shaunie O’Neal she wants to talk to Kesha calmly, like an adult, and hopefully they can coexist.  What a novel concept.  The women are sidetracked when the boat passes Jenn’s bungalow where she is lounging on the balcony.  Why is Tami drinking her beer through a straw?  Tami decides to try to fix the rift between Jenn and Evelyn, but there are huge loyalty issues.

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If you watched last season’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, you know that Lisa Vanderpump owns quite the restaurant scene.  On the episode where the dastardly Cedric Martinez showed up to confront his former friends/personal ATMs at the opening of SUR, Brandi Glanville had an awkward near run-in with a young lady Eddie Cibrian “dated” before cheating on his wife with Leann Rimes.  Villa Blaca and SUR waitress (slash actress slash model slash pop star) Scheana Marie was mortified to see Brandi at the event because she had gone out with a wedding ring-less Eddie who claimed to be single.  Because that scene on the show was a mere minute in a half long, by my calculations, Scheana Marie thinks she’s got at least thirteen minutes left.

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Poor Kim Kardashian…girl just can’t catch a break!  Not only is she playing the role of dutiful girlfriend while on tour with Kanye West, ahem, I mean coincidentally in London with him while she promotes her fragrance line, but she also must put up with groupies as well.  Sources report that Kim has put the kabosh on him greeting fans after his concert, but she’s still envious of his relationships with different females on the tour.

The source reveals, “Kanye has a load of girls he’s friends with. Most are stylists or from the fashion set but Kim’s not happy about them being alone with him backstage.  She sees how well he gets on with girls because of his sensitive side and has decided to rein in the entourage a bit. Kim is trying to put a stop to this as she doesn’t want to look or feel awkward at any point.”  I’m sorry, his sensitive side?  I may or may not have just spewed coffee after reading that!

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Kody and his Sister Wives have been struggling since moving to Las Vegas, so they are trying to make it a positive experience for the children and all the women.  That can only mean one thing…date nights!

Kody has a new car thanks to his marketing gig.  The family meets at Robyn’s to see the crew’s new ride.  It’s a convertible, so that’s practical given the amount of children this brood has.  Wait, am I watching Sister Wives or the Bachelor?  It seems as Kody planned individual dates for each wife so that their relationships can grow separate from the giant polygamist family they’ve created.  Chris Harrison would be so proud.  First up?  Meri is granted a decades long promise from Kody, and the couple is going skiing together for the first time.

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It’s reunion time for the Mob Wives.  Oddly enough I feel as if the season flew by, but when I see footage of past episodes, I realize I’ve been watching this show for what seems like forever.  Joy Behar is hosting the debacle, and I’m curious to see if she can keep the crazy in line.

We revisit the season, with special attention paid to Junior Pagan’s betrayal and Renee Graziano’s breakdown.  Renee and her sister Jenn Graziano, who is a producer on the show, are asked about their thoughts on Junior.  Renee is actually very calm, and sadly she reveals that she miscarried before everything went down with Junior.  Her sister discusses why she continued to film Renee during her dark times, and Renee admits that she urged her sister to document it.  Joy reminds Renee that Junior was wearing a wire in his watch which explains his reaction to Renee gifting him with a new watch for his birthday.  Both Drita D’Avanzo and Jenn are confused as to why Junior would want to be on a television show when he was trying to be so sneaky.  Renee and Jenn reveal that neither have spoken to Junior, and Renee has heard that he was rejected from the witness protection program.

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Is she an alcoholic or isn’t she an alcoholic?  Is she being phased out of the show or is she not being phased out of the show?  Is she a member of the Ford dynasty or is she not a member of the Ford dynasty? There is an intervention planned.  There is not an intervention planned.  If all of this back and forth continues, I may have a meltdown Taylor Armstrong style.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills sources have been speculating for weeks about Taylor’s terrible drinking problem and the intervention her fellow cast mates were planning.  The rumor mill has been a buzz over a drunken Taylor at Portia’s fourth birthday party and her booze-fueled meltdown during  a recent spa trip.  A source even told Perez Hilton, “The entire cast will be filming together this week and the plan is for the ladies to confront Taylor about her growing dependence on alcohol.”

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