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My oh my oh my!  People certainly do some stupid stuff, don’t they?  Francesca Eastwood, daughter of cinema icon Clint and star of the new reality show Mrs. Eastwood & Company, has come under fire lately…and literally!

TMZ is reporting that the nineteen-year-old has been receiving death threats via Facebook and Twitter after her controversial photographer beau Tyler Shields snapped pictures of Francesca destroying a $100,000 (in my Dana Wilkie voice) Hermes Birkin bag…all in the name of art.  The photos show Francesca taking a chainsaw to the bag before setting it on fire.  The pictorial enraged fashionistas and hard-working folks alike…you know, the people for whom that bag’s price tag would equate to years and years (and years) of paychecks.

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Finally, it’s the freakin’ finale of Basketball Wives.  I don’t know about y’all, but this season has been incredibly exhausting, and the Tahiti trip has almost made me lose my cool!

We resume the same place we do almost every week, with Evelyn Lozada mouthing off after Jenn Williams escaped into her bungalow.  Kenya Bell and Tami Roman are listening to her rants about how fake Jenn is, but I can’t take my attention off her hula hoop sized earrings.  Shaunie O’Neal sneaks away to speak with Jenn, but I love that she’s more concerned about Jenn airing the group’s dirty laundry on blogs and twitter instead of Evelyn’s erratic and violent behavior.  Why should everything be about appeasing crazy?  And I’m not a Jenn fan…I think she should let it go, and I think she is extremely and purposefully pretentious, but geez, Shaunie!  She isn’t doing anything worse than Evelyn is!

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Part two of the Mob Wives reunion starts amidst the chaos of the Drita D’Avanzo and Ramona RizzoRenee Graziano is trying to separate the women, and Drita leaves the set.  Joy Behar doesn’t even get out of her seat.  She’s just watching the craziness.  Finally the women come back to the sofas, where Drita and Ramona continue to scream and bleep and threaten to kill one another off camera.  I think they even decide to fight it out after the reunion (in the parking lot, perhaps?), and there are accusations of being in a gang.  They are too well-dressed for this nonsense.  Carla Facciolo and Karen Gravano are trying to keep the peace, urging the women to speak nicely.  Renee tries to redirect, and Karen jumps on her for interrupting Joy.  Renee tells Joy how to run the show, and it actually makes sense.

Joy seems to have regained control and Drita and Ramona are able to discuss the fight without raising their voices…too much.  The next confrontation highlighted is between Drita and Karen.  Karen and Drita have different definitions of friendship, but they plan to respect their truce.  Joy is concerned that once people start gossiping on Staten Island, the truce will disappear.  Karen and Drita reveal that they have promised to go directly to the other to resolve any issues regarding the rumor mill.  Ramona says that she and Carla have a similar agreement, but it seems that Carla still likes to talk about her.  Joy was excited that she was able to keep the women calm for at least a few minutes.  We need more Big Ang and less bleeping.

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I’ll have to admit that I, unlike Slade Smiley, left the O.C. for a while.  Oh, I still watched (like one of Pavlov’s dogs when the first few tings of the theme music begins), but I was indifferent to it.  Lauri Waring was gone.  A once biting but funny Tamra Barney became just down right mean, ladies whose names I can’t even remember (Quinn who?) and women whose faces didn’t move were shuffled in and out, and, well, Slade stayed.  I was tired.  But then something amazing happened in the form of this season.

I’m not going to give all the credit to Dr. and Mrs. Disgustingly Rich and Fabulous but Incredibly Normal Dubrow (aka Heather), although they deserve a bunch.  This season on Real Housewives of Orange County, I’ve got Briana Culberson giving hell to her mom’s love tank and affirmation hoarding beau.  My hilariously crass, semi-trashy, rhinestone-studded Tamra is back with a vengeance, and–even better–she’s friends with a kooky Gretchen Rossi.  Minus a few extras (and even Jesus Barbie brings at least one laugh an episode), the show is actually fun again.  But I digress.  Let’s dish deets on the wedding ceremony of one of my current favorite housewives, Briana.  Okay, so technically she’s the daughter of a housewife, but she’s now more of one than her mom!

Briana and mom Vicki Gunvalson spoke with Star/RadarOnline.com about Briana’s big day…which was a long time coming for Vicki.  Viewers are watching weekly the relationship between Briana and Vicki get increasingly tense after Briana and supposed boyfriend Ryan Culberson drop the bomb that they got hitched in Vegas at a drive-thru wedding chapel.

Vicki tells the magazine, “My anger and my disappointment at what Briana did almost destroyed our relationship.  We didn’t speak for two months. But time heals, and our relationship is stronger than ever.”

Briana agrees, “My mom has been amazing. It’s been really fun planning the wedding with her and just having her by my side.”

The ceremony took place on May 12 at the Bacara Resort and Spa in Santa Barbara.  The bride wore a gown of Italian lace and carried a bouquet of roses as the pair read their vows at sunset.  Missing from the guest list?  Vicki’s castmates.  She explains, “[I]t had to be about Briana and Ryan. It is not my party.”

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Was it field day or feud day on this past episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey?  Don’t you just love reading the women’s blogs, hearing what they have to say, knowing all the things they know now?  Those talking head interviews can be really biting, and it’s never easy to hear a supposed friend talking smack about you.  That said, can we please talk about Jacqueline Laurita and Caroline Manzo’s sportsmanship intervention with G-to-the-ia?  I am not going to comment on the spunky Miss Gia (as I think it’s incredibly unacceptable and disgusting to see how some bloggers and commenters bash these kids who never asked to be growing up on television in the first place), but I will ask, do you think Jacqueline went to far in disciplining her friend’s child?  Jacqueline addresses the situation in her Bravo blog:

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Call in Judge Judy.  Better yet, call in Extreme Akim!  There is a law suit getting ready to unfold in Atlanta, y’all, and this time Phaedra Parks isn’t going to be the attorney…she’s the plaintiff!  After the publication of Angela Stanton’s tome Lies of a Real Housewife: Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil by Vibe.com, the Real Housewives of Atlanta star is suing Vibe Holdings in federal court for libel and defamation of character.

You all recall that in the book, Angela touts Phaedra and now husband Apollo Nida as living a life of crime, guilty of theft, racketeering, and forgery.  She alleges the couple wooed her into their inner circle of criminals, and left her out to dry when she was arrested.

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It’s just four days until the fantasy nuptials of the future Mr. and Mrs. Kroy Biermann.  As the time runs out, drama amps up…but it’s no longer mama drama on Don’t Be Tardy for the WeddingJen has become the MOH who is MIA.

Just like with every episode, the show begins with Kim Zolciak talking to the adorbs K.J. She is complaining to him about how lax her matron-of-honor Jen is being, and he is just giggling away in his Spiderman hoodie.  Kim can’t dwell on slack attendants for long, she has tent issues to worry about.  Severe tent issues that drive her to drink white zinfandel before lunchtime.  Kim has visions of covering the pool and and getting hitched under a gazebo which will sit atop the jacuzzi.  She never ever ever ever had dreams of a tent in her backyard to shield guests from potential bad weather.

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The chefs of Around the World in 80 Plates are heading to Barcelona, Spain.  All of the contestants are talking mad shiz about their cooking skills…and survival skills.  Nookie Postal reveals that he and his wife lived for a year there solely on money from his stellar gambling skills.  Nicole Lou is hesitant to return to Spain as that is where she married her now ex-wife.  Chevin had an experience with a hermaphrodite upon which I won’t expound.

The first challenge pits every man for themselves.  The first five people to reach the goal, which is basically a ski gondola, will be teammates, and the players are trying hard to make it to the gondola with people they want to compete with on a team.  The first team, red, ends up being Chaz Brown, Cheven Lee, Gary Walker, Nick Lacasse, and John Vermiglio.  The black team is…everyone else.  For those of you keeping score at home, that means, Nookie, Avery, Nicole, Jenna Hansen, and Liz Garrett.  Nookie is the sole dude with the ladies on the black team.  Red team member John is worried about the sausage party in which he’s now involved.  The red team arrives first to meet Curtis Stone, and one of the teammates yells, “Boys rule, and girls drool.”  I’m taken back to my former first grade student Roy who said that.  All.  The.  Time.  The teams must sort and prep different seafood for cash. Whichever team wins the most money will win the exceptional ingredient.

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