Alana Thompson and her redneckognizing family are back with a slew of holiday specials. First up? It's Halloween! If the group's time at Shhh! It's A Wig is any indication, we are in for a wild, wild ride. I have not been quiet in my love for all things Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, but last night was overkill. Don't get me wrong, I still love this family, but TLC needs to differentiate between thirty minutes of hilarious redneck reveling and an hour of dragging out poor Sugar Bear in a wheelchair. Although, how awesome was he with baby Kaitlyn?
Oh Lord, I don't even know what to say. Two minutes into the special we are treated to June napping haphazardly across her bed and Pumpkin emerging from the crawl space beneath the house (just how close does that train come to their home??) with some nastiness she's found. Pumpkin ties said nastiness to a 2×4 and dangles it over her mother's face. I can only imagine what the remaining fifty-eight minutes have in store. As for Chubbs, Chickadee, and Smoochie, they love Halloween for the sweets. As Alana so eloquently sings/raps, "Halloween is all about the treats…treatin' myself to candy!" She's practically autotuned!
Poor Sugar Bear is in a wheelchair due to a recent surgery, and Pumpkin wants to dress up Chickadee's baby as a cheese ball for Halloween. The baby is precious! June shares that Halloween is a special time for her family, given that the girls love to dress up (well, duh, they are a pageant fam!), and they love to eat candy. I'd say that's a fair assessment. The family is decorating the yard for Halloween, and I have never seen such an assortment of pumpkin inflatables. There's that darn train again…I'd make spotting the train a drinking game, but I fear that I wouldn't be able to make it through this recap! June and Sugar Bear gather up the girls to head to the pumpkin patch. I'm so happy to see they already have their Christmas lights up on their house. That should make preparation for the yuletide holiday special that much easier.
RHOM fans know that despite some unfortunate plastic surgery, Mama Elsa tells it like it is. When she's not threatening drag queens, dancing in caftans, or having psychic visions, she's doling out some pretty down-to-earth advice. She's the Big Ang of Bravo.
"This is The Voice!" I don't know what it is lately, but I can't help but get these awful theme songs stuck in my head. Don't get me wrong, I love the premise behind NBC's answer to American Idol (and watching Adam Levine and Blake Shelton isn't too shabby either!), but couldn't they have come up with a better hook? It is a music competition after all!
The show is gearing up yet again to premiere in March, and this time aroundCee Lo Green and Christina Aguilera are taking a break. Good riddance to Xtina and her witchy ways! Replacing the duo will be Usher and Shakira, and while I'll miss Cee Lo, I think these two will be a fun, easy mix with Adam and Blake.
In a recent interview, the four judges, old and new, discuss what we can expect from the upcoming season. Adam admits that he underestimated Shakira's spunk, and Usher, who is responsible for giving us The Biebs, reveals that finding new talent is more difficult than he expected. The blind auditions have all been taped, but the live portion of the show will resume taping in the spring.
Oh, Kim Kardashian, you saucy minx! Okay, so I don't find her at all saucy or minx-ish, but I've always wanted to say that. In today's Kimye news, there is some funny stuff. Not only is having Kanye West's baby while still married to Kris Humphries causing some problems (we all predicted that, right?), but it seems that no one wants to pay Kim to lose her baby weight. Tragic!
Unlike Jessica Simpson, Kim may not be scoring a weight loss deal to shed the massive amount of pounds she's sure to pack on during her pregnancy. I'm also hoping that, unlike Jessica's two year gestation, Kim's baby will pop out after nine months so we don't have to be on pregnancy watch for the next year and a half.
Whether it's a Twitter battle or a photo op war, these women love to let everyone know their issues. It's brilliant–it keeps them both in the media (remember Leann's "tearful" interview–with no real tears–where she hated to be called a homewrecker in light of her true love?), and, selfishly, it makes me giggle. Given her first stint on RHOBH, I would never think I'd be Team Brandi, but I totally am. Forgive me in advance for a pro-Brandi post. These ladies are cray. I would love the opportunity to drink wine with them one day…in the same room, of course. Clearly I'd wear a helmet.
As if Kim Kardashian andKanye Westprocreating wasn't enough, now there is even more disturbing news. I don't even know how one correlates with the other, but perhaps if I type it quickly, it can get out of my head equally as fast. Or not. There are just some things you can't unread.
Here goes nothing! So, now that Kimye is having an aby-bay, ales-say for her ex-say ape-tay have gone through the roof. Seriously? Nothing says "congrats on the bun in your oven" like purchasing a video of the mom engaged in some nasty, nasty sexy times. Nothing people do surprises me anymore.
In a controversial move, NBC's The Biggest Loser is tackling something new this season that has a lot of people talking. I guess that is the whole point of controversial moves, right?
For the first time in the reality show's history, it will be focusing on childhood obesity. Three young adults will be participating in the program, and trainerJillian Michaels will be returning to assist the two teen boys and one teenaged girl get their lives back on track with a healthier lifestyle.
Can I get a slow clap for Chad Johnson Ochocinco Johnson Johnson, please? The man is unbelievable. Not only has he been shuffled around the NFL before being fired, he's a literary master at making pizza box metaphors, a D-list playboy, a head-butter, and a reality star who knows that there is no shame in needing subtitles when asking his then fiance Evelyn Lozada how she feels about a threesome. There is something about that level of shamelessness that deserves some sort of credit. And gag.
As you all know, Chad can also add amateur porn star to his stellar resume. Someone leaked a sex tape of Chad and a tatted mistress doing the dirty, and said video was leaked by some media outlets. Wow, Basketball Wives' Evelyn is certainly a lucky lady as she and her former husband continue to "work on themselves."