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John Salley is back to lead us through the second installment of the Basketball Wives reunion special.  Last night’s portion proved to be more of a train wreck than the first time around which was basically just one giant PR move.  I don’t know about y’all, but I am ready to say good riddance to these “ladies” for a very long time.

John reminds us of Evelyn Lozada and Chad Ochocinco’s relationship.  Besides the Masarati, I wonder if Evelyn can watch this and not see how poorly he speaks to her.  Chad is funny and all, but she is a doormat with him!  Evelyn promotes the couple’s spin-off for a bit, happy she has the opportunity to show viewers a softer side.  John then segues into listing Royce Reed’s relationships throughout the seasons.  Of Dezmon Briscoe, Royce will only say curtly that they are doing “good.”  John reminds her of Dezmon and his baby mama’s twitter drama.  Royce says she chose to stay with him for all the things he did right instead of the one thing he did wrong.  Footage of her fight with her father is shown.  John jokes that Royce is a crybaby, and he pretty much sides with her dad while doling out his own fatherly advice.  John also shows clips from her New York acting debut that ended up on the cutting room floor.  Tami Roman reveals she was pleasantly surprised at Royce’s talent.  John touts that as quite a compliment because he believes Tami is an amazing actress.  Huh?

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I’m guessing the newcomers on Real Housewives of New York didn’t realize they would be jumping back into last season!  With Jill Zarin, Kelly Bensimon, and Alex McCord out of the picture, it seems like the Count(l)ess LuAnn and Pinot Singer are vying to see who will be the biggest, baddest housewife in all the Upper East Side land.  The claws are out, which isn’t surprising given this pair.

On the season premiere, Countless told her new co-stars of Ramoana’s threat regarding her children.  The maven of manners also demanded an apology for last season’s drama during a party.  I find her public admonishment of ol’ Crazy Eyes a tad hypocritical, given there is, according to LuAnn, a time and a place for everything.  For example, you don’t talk about losing a parent over drinks with friends.  It’s poor form.  However, making others uncomfortable at a party is completely acceptable behavior.  In her Bravo blog, she explains it all…and with words we serfs can understand.

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On last night’s Sister Wives we were treated to two family filled episodes.  In the first, we are introduced to Kody’s brothers.  In the second, the older teens are highlighted, and I must say I really like them.

Kody’s brothers arrive to take on Vegas. The family is gathered at Meri’s house. The wives haven’t seen his brothers since the family moved from Utah. We are introduced to Scott and Curtis, and the three Brown brothers head off on motorcycles with Curtis joking he’s going to pick up some ladies. It’s hilarious because Curtis is monogamous unlike his older brothers.

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And so it begins…The cast of Jersey Shore hasn’t been filming their final season for very long, and they are already duking it out in bars, getting arrested, and leaking nude photos.  That didn’t take long, did it?

Radaronline.com is reporting that the crew (sans a pregnant Snooki) got into a massive bar brawl Friday night at Bamboo Bar in Seaside Heights.  A source reveals, “It started as a small fight, then turned into a massive brawl.  Jenni’s boyfriend beat up a few guys, Pauly knocked some guy out, [and] Ronnie [and] Sitch were all there as well, fighting off guys. Jenni sprained her ankle.”  No doubt all of these shenanigans happened with MTV’s cameras rolling.  I can only imagine the smack down that ensued if the fight involved Roger!

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Oh gracious!  We’ve got an entirely new city of mobster offspring.  Last night’s premiere of Mob Wives: Chicago proved to be even more intense (in my opinion) than it’s predecessor.

Renee Russo is proud that she’s a party to some major mob shiz in Chicago. Her uncle was a big wig in one of the major crime families, and viewers learn early on that he treated his niece like a princess.  She lived a high rolling fairy tale until her uncle’s best friend gunned him down…in the back.  Can I get Big Ang calling out a rat?  Renee reveals that she has two daughters, ages twenty and ten.  She reveals that her eldest daughter’s father is in jail for murder.  She claims to be about class, respect, and loyalty while pulling on her thigh boots and heading out for the evening.

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Oh, the repercussions of Costa Mexico!  Just once I’d love to write something happy or positive about one of Bravo’s housewives franchises, but alas, I may have to wait until 2013.  Here’s hoping!  Oh well, onto the Real Housewives of Orange County!  Before we begin, let me start with a disclaimer I seem to tout with all of these housewives posts.  These women are all pretty much ridiculous.  (Not you, Heather Dubrow.  Want to plan a wardrobe swap soon?  I’ve got some great Target pieces I think you’d really love to wear!  Call me. #eventrade)

With all the fallout from the recent intervention (you know, the one that let Alexis Bellino know she’s shallow and pretentious…so nothing like her co-stars), it was rumored that the reunion may be missing a cast member.  Thankfully, Alexis didn’t pull a Jacqueline Laurita, and she was there to face Andy Cohen’s music with the rest of her O.C. cohorts.

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I don’t know about you all, but I am about sick to death with these Real Housewives of New Jersey and their dramatic shenanigans.  My former students acted with more maturity…and they were first graders!  This time Teresa Giudice, Melissa Gorga, and Kathy Wakile didn’t limit their issues to the Garden State, but instead brought their antics to ABC’s The View.  The women’s segments (that’s right, segmentS plural) aired this morning if you were lucky (?) enough to watch.

An insider tells RadarOnline.com, “The producers on The View asked Teresa if she would try to resolve her issues with Melissa, together, on the show in front of the cameras, but Teresa said she didn’t feel she should do so in front of an audience.  Teresa felt that after apologizing repeatedly with no resolution, that Melissa would just attack her, so this all should be handled privately at this point.”  And by privately, I am sure she means that Bravo gets dibs to that smack down.

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We have seen their relationship go through some of the toughest and most private moments that teens could imagine.  From 16 & Pregnant through three seasons of Teen Mom, viewers have watched Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra catapult into adulthood, far before their time. After getting pregnant at sixteen, the couple made the difficult choice to place their daughter Carly up for adoption.  Thanks to their open relationship with Carly’s parents, the pair is able to share in Carly’s milestones, but at home they have dealt with their fair share of family problems.

Now, after the fourth and final season of their Teen Mom franchise has filmed (it begins airing next Tuesday, June 12, on MTV), the couple seems to have finally gotten their happy ending.  Being the one couple I have sincerely rooted for since the beginning, I am happy to announce that they will be walking down the aisle on July 15, 2013.  In an interview with wetpaint.com, Catelynn and Tyler discuss their wedding…and whether we’ll get to see it happen.

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