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Last night’s Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding , has Kim Zolciak and Kroy Biermann send Brielle off to her homecoming dance in style, while Kim tries to everything she can to keep her mom away from Colin Cowie.

I must say that I love the conversations between Kim and KJ.  Poor kid doesn’t even know he’s part of reality history…but at least he gets to wear a sweet cap.  Kim’s excited about planning the wedding, but her mother is causing her major stress.  Brielle is having her hair did done for her homecoming dance.  Holy crap, for my high school dances, I didn’t have hair and make-up, I had my mom zipping up my JC Penny’s dress…and that’s it.  Kim threatens Brielle’s boyfriend of two months, asking if he’s ever grabbed her daughter’s butt.  Brielle can’t win, stating she’s never made out with her beau, but she has pecked him on the mouth.  Kim is dreading having so many kids and parents at her house pre-dance, but it’s adorable to see Kroy’s relationship with his soon-to-be stepdaughter.

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Chris Harrison, oh blue-eyed, well-dressed, always there with stellar love advice, Chris Harrison.  Call me.   As I’m sure y’all know, I was very upset to hear about the divorce of the Bachelor franchise’s most level-headed and handsome host.  Of course, instead of letting him deal with his family problems behind closed doors, People Magazine wonders if he himself will be the next Bachelor.  Um, have you seen him?  While he’s a beyond fabulous host of the train wreck, he’s way too good to be an actual contestant.  For shame!

The very classy Mr. Harrison manages to remain upbeat, telling the magazine, “Getting out of a 22-year relationship, having just announced my divorce to the world a week ago, having two kids and trying to start a new life, I’m thinking I wouldn’t exactly be a great candidate to be the bachelor right now or anytime soon.”

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There are four very talented artists left on American Idol.  Viewers are reminded that the final three get the homecoming of a lifetime.  The event is marked with stellar judge and past winner performances.  It’s almost time to crown the nation’s newest star.  Pretty exciting stuff!  Equally exciting?  Ryan Seacrest seems to be feeling much better.  The audience even gets treated to tickets for the upcoming tour.

The final four perform a Mamas and Papas tribute.  It’s great, and reminds me again how badly I wish I could sing a note.  Product placement abounds, and a Ford video is shown.  The final contestants are excited to be in a commercial…it’s electric!  Everyone touts saving the environment with Ford’s new electric car.  It’s a cute video, but let’s get to the results please!  Phillip Phillips is the first to face the music (literally).  He sang “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” and gains mad praise from the judges.  Randy Jackson calls his performance pitchy to start, but he certainly comes into his own.  Jimmy loved it.  His next time on stage, singing “Volcano” Randy touts that he’s listen to it all day long on his headphones.  Jimmy is beyond impressed.   Ryan sends him back to sofa to wait it out a little longer.  Of course he does…

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The premise of Bravo’s new Around the World in 80 Plates is following Curtis Stone as he whisks me to amazing destinations…don’t I wish twelve remarkable chefs take over restaurants in all different parts of the world, and compete in team challenges to come up with tasty and exotic cuisine which show their creativity and knowledge of various regions.  The critics will be the actual restaurant patrons themselves.  The losing team must vote off their weakest link.  Curtis Stone and Cat Cora will be along for the ride hosting the worldwide feast. First stop, London!

On last night’s premiere, we meet the chefs, including beef-lover Chaz Brown, private chef Gary Walker who fancies himself like Mrs. Garrett from Facts of Life, and Sai Pituk who strives to be a sexy Thai food personality.  Um, okay.  Nookie Postal is the executive chef for the Boston Red Sox who caters to the VIPs…he’s not passing out hotdogs in the vending area.  Liz Garrett, who never went to culinary school, is hoping her young looks will make her competitors underestimate her talents.  It works.  When she meets Nookie and Chaz at the airport, Nookie comments that she looks like a twelve-year-old.

Arriving in London as well is Clara Moore who isn’t above fighting to get what she wants…even if it’s just your standard arm wrestling match.  John Vermiglio has cooked for presidents and Oprah!  Cheven (that’s short for Chef Kevin) Lee fancies himself a celebrity chef from Hollywood.  All twelve (some we’ve yet to meet) assemble in a market in London to meet with (swoon) Curtis and Cat.  They are given a short amount of time to form two teams.  John hopes he’s not the last one picked.  Avery Pursell has no clue who any of these people are.  Once teams are chosen, they will have a challenge course which could potentially win them the “Exceptional Ingredient” which will help them when they do the restaurant takeover.

Their first challenge is a pub crawl, and immediately the red team hops in a cab…probably a good call as they have Nookie and some girl who takes a spill almost immediately upon losing a shoe.  The black team takes a run for it, with executive chef Nick Lacasse wondering why everyone is blindly following a bossy Cheven.  Sai is also in the military, so she comandeers the map from Cheven.  The red team arrives first.  Jenna Johansen is looking at this competition as a way to change the way she cooks for life…very big picture.  The team must finish some black pudding hash and a Pimm’s cup (yum!) before heading to the next locale.

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With summer approaching, it’s always fun to remember those crazy gorilla juice heads and spandexed guidettes that know how to do summer right.  Right?  There is, obviously, a lot of changes going on with the Jersey Shore crew, but that doesn’t mean they are going anywhere any time soon!

In a recent interview with V Magazine, Snooki opened up on the ins and outs of filming a shore based reality show, sharing a few secrets of behind the scenes restrictions.  “When we film I really don’t care what I look like. I just enjoy it and have fun. That’s why people love us,” she explains.  “I’m overweight because we’re drinking and eating bad, but when I’m not filming I never drink and I eat healthy all the time.”

While that may be the case, Snooki defends her behavior by citing the MTV’s rules during filming.  “You can’t leave without a film crew with you..If you want to leave, you have to tell them an hour before so they can get ready,” shares the guidette.  “There are no cell phones, no TV, and you can’t read. You can’t write or pass notes. You can’t listen to music, you can’t do anything. It’s kind of like being in jail for two months—and people wonder why all we do is drink! It’s because there’s nothing else to do! It passes the time and makes it fun. If you’re sober the whole time, you will go insane and kill yourself.”  That sounds a tad extreme, but that’s a meatball for you!

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With the Bachelorette premiering in less than a week, everyone (that may be a stretch), including me, is wondering what to expect from mild-mannered single mom Emily Maynard.  She infamously turned down being the Bachelorette (much to Bentley Williams’ chagrin) after first being approached, explaining she wanted to live out of the limelight with young daughter Ricki.  However, the rose veteran and former “winner” of Brad Womack’s (second) season, has since done a one-eighty, agreeing to let twenty-five cheesy eligible bachelors vie for her hand in marriage on the show’s eighth season.

Realitytvworld.com has the skinny on her latest print interview in the upcoming PEOPLE magazine.  Emily talks of finding love, little Ricki, and those ever-present hot tub scenes the ABC franchise loves to exploit.

The newest Bachelorette tells the magazine, “I don’t want to be kissing every guy. I want to still be a lady. I’m a mom first,” adding, “I’m hoping the hot tubs have been completely phased out.”

PHOTOS – SEE EMILY’S 25 BACHELORS!

Emily also doesn’t want date time to ever interfere with daughter time.  While Ricki has been traveling with mom throughout the season, she has spent a lot of time hanging out with her grandparents and a nanny, and, according to Emily, loving every minute of it.  Emily reveals, “[The show] has been so good at making sure there’s time scheduled for the two of us.”

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After last week’s blindside, last night’s Survivor episode assured us that finally-FINALLY-the remaining castaways are playing the game.

After Kat gets the shaft, the women (and Tarzan) are laughing on the beach about her final words.  Tarzan has a master plan he’s unwilling to share, but he approaches Kim about her strategy.  He promises to get the jury to vote for her if she ends up in the final three with Alicia and Christina.  Of course, that means that Kim has to vote off her biffle Chelsea.  Tarzan is all about the mind games.

Chelsea believes the game is three-on-three:  Chelsea, Kim, and Sabrina versus Christina, Alicia, and Tarzan.  Chelsea thinks it is funny that Christina’s trio thinks that Kim is joining their alliance.  Poor Chelsea.  Chelsea tries to sway Christina to further her threesome, but Christina runs back to camp to relay everything she heard to Kim and Tarzan.  Kim, of course, tells Chelsea that Christina turned on her immediately after their conversation.  Chelsea is pissed, and Kim is getting exhausted trying to play both sides.

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Dance Moms: Miami, you never disappoint.  After a good showing in Michigan last week, Victor and Angel are focused on Nationals.  It’s time for the list!  Jessi has moved her way up from the bottom of the list to the top.  Kimmy scores second due to her technical skills.  However, they want to see more emotion in her dancing.  Lucas is safe in third, and Hannah places fourth.  Debi is beyond thrilled to see that Hannah has beaten Sammy.  Victor is quick to tell the young girl that he thinks she should have been last as she didn’t trust her partner.  Angel thinks that Hannah had a rough week and worked hard.  Sammy is confused as to why she’s at the bottom, and while Victor thought she should have garnered fourth, her mother’s lack of respect for questioning their choreography lands her in last place.

The group is heading to Orlando.  Jessi and Hannah will have solos, and Kimmy and Lucas dance a duet.  The week’s theme is “survival,” so this should be good.  Sammy is relegated to just performing in the group dance.  The children tell Victor and Angel which animals they would be if they lived in the wild.  Back in the mom room, Abby is appalled that they women were chastised in front of their children.  Debi agrees…Hannah’s behavior was picture perfect during rehearsals for the duet.  Furthermore, Debi never threatened to pull Hannah from the duet.  Abby continues that she was perfectly happy seeing the girls dance together.  Her main concern is that the girls didn’t have enough time to practice because Victor stormed out of rehearsal.  Brigette is beyond exhausted of listening to the women pretend they were happy with the duet.  They hated the fact their daughters were forced to dance together.  We all remember…it was just last week!

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