The women of Real Housewives of New York are a classy bunch, that can't be denied. They are reserved, educated, and charitable. Oh, wait.
Someone call Joe Francis because Sonja Morgan and Ramona Singer are Middle-Aged Broads Gone Wild! While vacationing in St. Barts for the cast trip, the ladies enjoyed lots of booze, parties, cat fights and sexy time. The kickers? Most of their antics were so insane that they couldn't be shown on Bravo. The raciest moments of the trip were relegated to the cutting room floor, but I have some of the deets. However, don't say I didn't warn you…if you are concerned you make accidentally picture some of these things in your head, then click at your own risk!
First of all, I'd like to give a huge "WAY TO GO!" to Mary for a job well done with the Silver Fox yesterday. While she's recuperating from rubbing elbows with celebrities and trading Housewives gossip with THE Anderson Cooper, I will be taking over the Here Comes Honey Boo Boo recap. It almost feels like Christmas! To be totally honest, this family had me "neck rust." Of course, I don't have to tell you that last night's episode did not disappoint. I forced my friend to watch it a few weeks ago because he's from the next county over and is familiar with the Kuntry Stoe (it's apparently somewhat famous among tee-niny Georgia towns). He could only stomach about five minutes of it, but he is also pretty sure he knows people who went to high school with June. His girlfriend shared with me last night, and I quote, "He's told me about a thirty times how he lives close to Honey Boo Boo." It appears everyone has been touched by this little pageant angel.
The show ran the gamut, from Alana's seventh birthday party to June and her money-making schemes (extreme Bingo-ing, y'all!) to make-up lessons to meeting Miss Georgia…who, by the way, doesn't fart. I know you're totally shocked by that information. I just can't get enough of these people. Sit back on your velour pee-stained sectional (hold it in, Chickadee!), stroke your deer yard art, and enjoy.
I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I'm guessing that there will never be any love lost between Tamra Barney and Alexis Bellino from Real Housewives of Orange County. In the wake of the news that Tamra has snubbed another season of the Bravo hit to focus on her family (um, prioritize much, Alexis?), Tamra's acrylic French tip claws have come out in full force!
As we've reported, Alexis is sticking to her claims that Bravo is desperate for her to return for season 8, but she just can't continue to put herself in a situation where people question her fake engagement ring, rental home, outrageous news anchor claims, and her husband's chimplant. Er, I mean, she just doesn't want to be bullied anymore. I can't say I blame her there…Alexis certainly get the brunt of hatefulness from her cast mates for purportedly being phony. Fake or not though, no one deserves to be subjected to other's petty bad behavior.
Last night's Flipping Out was all about Andrew. Jeff Lewis thinks that Andrew is really fitting into the office, both for his design taste and ridiculous personality. As with everything else, they can manage to sexualize a towel rod. While Gage Edward recognizes that working with such a cast of characters certainly makes the day more entertaining, he isn't quite sure it's how a business should be run. After some tension and arguing in Chicago regarding Jenni Pulos' wedding plans, Jenni gives Jeff a heartfelt card in hopes of putting the negativity behind them. Jeff appreciates the note, but he teases Jenni that he deserves more than a $50 gift card since he's walking her through life. I want to remind Jeff that he already thinks Jenni is spending too much money on this wedding, so he should count his lucky stars!
Jeff's client Lisa can't get over how he treats Jenni. Jenni, of course, just rolls with the punches. Lisa is the senior executive producer of Extra, and she hired Jeff to do a few smaller projects around her new home. In true Jeff fashion, he was able to convince her to do a total overhaul, and now she's concerned about the giant budget. Like all of Jeff's clients, she does have fun with all the insanity.
Gage is diligently working on Gramercy. He really isn't onboard with moving into Spring Hill. Jeff, meanwhile, is hoping to get Spring Hill finished and permits acquired so they can move in quickly. Jeff likes that he doesn't have to micro-manage Andrew on all of these projects, although Andrew's comments around contractors and clients are worrying Jenni in her newly minted HR position.
Oh Lord. I am terrified to write this blog post because I know how things go when one speaks of Teresa Giudice from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Here's my disclaimer: I think Teresa is a whole lot smarter than she lets on, and I think she has the ability to be extremely manipulative when it works for her. But guess what? I think the same thing about Melissa Gorga as well! In fact, all of these women seem hell bent in taking down one another in the press.
Here's the thing, Teresa can't have the keen business sense she possesses and be as ditzy as she appears. She knows fully what her fan base expects her personality to be…but it is the same with each of the ladies. Carolina Manzo is the Mama Bear, and Jacqueline Laurita is the airhead. This isn't their first rodeo! I actually find myself feeling sorry for Teresa. Her marriage seems to be in shambles, and her husband is grossly disrespectful. It's not fun to watch, it's pathetic. Of course, Teresa's fatal flaw is that she never can (and probably never will) actually admit when she is in the wrong. Oh, she'll flippantly say it in the tabloids or in her blog, but it is always followed by a qualification of how things aren't really her fault. Though she claims otherwise, Tre has perfected the art of playing the victim…and people buy it hook, line, and sinker.
That said, do I think Teresa set up Melissa with stripper-gate? No! Teresa says there is no way she could pull off that stunt given that she's a horrible actress. False. She is a wonderful actress, but I have watched enough Bravo to know that it has its own agenda and story line. The network is the ultimate puppet master, and we all know Kim D. would do anything to be one of those puppets. So, let's recap before we get into the meat of this post: I think Teresa is capable of masterminding stripper-gate, but I honestly think she has some sense (twisted as it may be) of family loyalty. Paired with Melissa's obvious desire to replace Teresa in popularity with the viewers, it makes for a perfect storm of drama. So, while Teresa has clean hands in this situation, it doesn't mean she isn't culpable for other things, like selling stories to the tabloids or pretending to think digging at Caroline's kids in her cookbook was an innocent joke. Disclaimer complete!
It wouldn't be a mature adult relationship if it wasn't playing out dramatically over Twitter, right? There is just something so sexy about a grown man who has nothing better to do with his time than to passive aggressively tweet about everything under the son. Thank you, Brooks Ayers, for showing me exactly what I want in my dream guy!
Brooks, who has been dating Real Housewives of Orange County'sVicki Gunvalson, has recently had a lot to say in the Twitterverse. I guess not working allows him that grand luxury. I wonder what I would do if I didn't have to work. Oh, I know! I'd perfect my ability to engage with strange and often angry female fans of Bravo in 140 characters or less…
The comments that Brooks has been tweeting in the last week have many speculating whether he is still filling Vicki's love tank with daily affirmations. The couple has met with a firestorm of criticism from fans, friends, and family alike, although both have put forth a united front. However, maybe the major lack of support from family is finally wearing on the pair. Vicki's daughter Briana Culberson has made no secret about her disdain for Brooks, who she believes in a con man. Likewise, her husband Ryan isn't Brooks' biggest fan. You all recall that Ryan called Brooks a "manipulative POS" last week on the social networking site.
Last night was the first ever Dance Moms reunion, with the show's executive producer Jeff Collins mediating the crazy. I really couldn't be more excited that Lifetime jumped on this bandwagon. Let the insanity fly! It's a two parter as well, which is always nice!
Abby Lee Miller faces off with the Kelly, Christi, Holly, and Melissa. Jeff is admittedly nervous, and I can't say I blame him after he shows an "everyone's replaceable" montage followed by some highlights of lighthearted moments interspersed with Abby threatening the moms. Why do I love this show so much? It is truly amazing, and we're only two minutes into the episode.
Jeff questions the ladies about Abby's teaching style. Christi believes that Abby is harsh with some students while being overly kind to others. Holly, an educator for over twenty years, believes that Abby's direct message is usually on target, but her delivery is off base. Melissa, of course, sings Abby's praises. Abby thinks that the mothers have too much time on their hands. Dance moms of years past weren't as privileged and didn't have the luxury of leaving their jobs to hang out in the studio. Plus, Abby believes that kids these days get a trophy for just being born…and I couldn't agree more.
Stop the presses and pour me a Skinnygirl margarita! On second thought, don't…I prefer my cocktails to taste good and go straight to my hips.
I have some wonderful news that will excite the masses. Whether you're a diehard Bethenneedy fan, a Bethennybody-else-but-her hater, or a passive and neutral Frankel, my dear, I don't give a damn, you are going to like what I have to say! Well, that third group probably couldn't care less, but the others–oh, the others!–will be thrilled! P.S. I'm working on a trademark for my newly coined phrases, so use at your own risk. TM, Ms. Frankel, TM!
Anyhoo, can you guess who this post is about? Anyone? Real Housewives of New York veteran and purveyor of Hoppylicious spin-offs and diet liquor concoctions Bethenny Frankel made an announcement earlier Monday on her website. The post was aptly titled "My Big Announcement." You have to give her credit, Bethenny always has been a straight shooter!