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Is anything ever what it seems in Kardashialand?  Who’s marrying whom?  Which sister is knocked up?  Which sister is divorcing?  Which sister is forced to forgo college plans so she can bank roll her mother?  Where did Rob go?  Do they just bring him out of the basement when they need him?  It’s a hurricane of uncertainty with the Kardashian Krew.

In recent weeks, all eyes have been on Klamar and the state of their union.  The couple has decided not to continue with reality show, and in an effort to lay low (Kardashian style, of course) Khloe Kardashian was on the cover of People magazine discussing the pair’s marriage.  Baby steps.  The most quotable from that interview was Khloe relaying, “I like to think divorce is not an option.”  Tabloids and blogs everywhere (cough, cough) are now jumping to dissect the phrase “I like to think” in her statement.

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Last night’s Survivor was clearly ladies’ night, as Tarzan is the only man left.

We learn that Troyzan whispered “do it” to Kat as he was leaving.  Kat is befuddled…does he think she’s going to go against her alliance?  Well, someone’s going to have to do it!  Alicia thinks that Christina’s ramblings during tribal council only show how wishy washy and weak she is.  Alicia thinks Christina needs to stick around a while, but she is starting to feel threatened by the amount of power Sabrina seems to have garnered.  Alicia sees herself as a puppet master, poisoning the other women against Sabrina.

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Happy birthday Portia!  What does one get for the four-year-old who has everything?  Perhaps a little drama, RHOBH style!

Radaronline.com is reporting that while Kyle Richards’ daughter was getting into her birthday cake, the always messy Taylor Armstrong was getting into the vino.  Big time.  A guest of the shindig tells the site, “It’s extremely worrying that Taylor would get blitzed at a birthday party for a four-year-old little girl. She doesn’t weigh a lot and doesn’t seem to have a high threshold for alcohol, it didn’t take long for her to be wasted. Taylor was drinking white wine and it was truly sad to see — she was slurring her words and she got very emotional the more she had to drink. Taylor didn’t drive, thank God, she had a driver for the evening, but she clearly is in a great deal of distress right now and she desperately needs help.”

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After a week’s hiatus from Dance Moms: Miami, the crazy is ba-ack, and this week they are heading north!

Victor and Angel are embarrassed over their last showing–fifth place is a joke at Stars studio.  Kimmy makes the top of the list for missing first place in her solo competition by one point.  Sammy is at number two for her great solo.  Jessi finally works her up from the bottom, and Victor praises her from improving her behavior.  Lucas gets a tad misty to see he is fourth on the list, which means Hannah is on the bottom.  While she’s improving, it’s not at the same rate as her teammates.

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On last night’s 16 and Pregnant, we meet Myranda Trevino and her boyfriend Eric Kennemer from Bronson, Texas.  She’s a track star and he hopes to play professional baseball one day.  Myranda’s mother Billie has addiction issues and allowed her three months pregnant daughter to move in with Eric at his grandmother’s after the pair had been dating six months.  Myranda has a strained relationship with her mother, but during a discussion we learn that Myranda was on the Pill but stopped taking it for a month.  She plans to drop out of school and get her GED.

Eric’s Nanny helps the couple and allows the couple to live with her for free.  Eric says the most honest thing ever on this show when he tells his brother that Myranda got pregnant because he was thinking with his penis.  Eric is working part time and about to start college classes.  Nanny is a spitfire.  She is annoyed at the pair’s stupidity in light of birth control, and she makes sure to give the couple as little privacy as possible. Nanny drops the bomb that her house isn’t a daycare facility, so the couple will have to find other living arrangements once the baby arrives.

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Another day, another drama as the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills continue shooting the third season of the Bravo hit.

Oh Lisa, Lisa, Lisa…have you learned nothing from Jill Zarin and Teresa Giudice?  Getting too big for your Chanel baubles leads to nothing but co-star–and fan!–backlash.  RadarOnline is reporting that Lisa Vanderpump has gotten a tad cocky in light of her recent spin-off.  A source tells the site, “There are a lot of bad feelings because Lisa got her own show and Taylor [Armstrong] for one thinks that Lisa has been acting like a diva during filming. Taylor and Lisa had gotten close after Russell’s suicide last year, but Taylor now feels like that was all done for the cameras.”

“The Housewives are jealous that Lisa got so much attention at the recent up fronts in New York City,” the insider goes on to say.  However, “Lisa does have one very vocal supporter among the cast though, Brandi Glanville. Brandi thinks it’s fantastic that Lisa got her own show and of course, she wants to appear on that show as well.”  No shocker there!

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Oh Basketball Wives!  An episode with no fighting?  What’s a girl to do?  Don’t get me wrong…I relished in it, but I am just so…so…so confused!

Tami Roman, Nia Crooks, and Evelyn Lozada meet up for cocktails, and Evelyn is appalled that Jenn Williams is giving interviews about the smack situation.  Jenn is dead to Nia, and Tami agrees.  Of course, in Tami’s interview she says that what happened at the race track was between Jenn, Nia, and Evelyn…she will continue to maybe kind of be passive aggressive pals with Jenn.  Evelyn is beside herself.  She realizes that she’s an adult with an eighteen-year-old daughter, and while she should probably be more mature, she wants Jenn’s blood.  It’s a totally normal and mature reaction, right?  Evelyn wants Tami to uninvite Jenn from the Tahiti trip, but Tami is unwilling.  Jenn’s been invited, and Evelyn needs to get over it.  Wow, Tami.  I am slightly impressed.  Evelyn makes sure that Tami knows that she’s in charge of Evelyn not getting arrested in Tahiti.

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On last night’s Mob Wives Karen found yet another endeavor, and Drita impressed us with her ability to throw down a rhyme.  Also impressive?  That Renee has kept it together for yet another episode!

Renee Graziano exits her father’s status hearing.  She calls Big Ang to reveal how hard it was as her family members and friends ignored her.  Her father was in poor health, but he was happy to see Renee there to support him, which made her feel better about such an icky situation.  I must say I am impressed to see how well Renee is keeping it together.

Big Ang and her sister Janine head to get some Botox.  While she is no stranger to plastic surgery (duh) and injections, it’s her first foray into Botox.  It is much more painful than she could have imagined, but she is beyond pleased with the results.  Her doctor tries to discourage her from getting extra injections, but Big Ang is addicted.  She lurves it.

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