Last night’s Basketball Wives was exactly everything we’ve come to expect from this formulaic season. Ladies gossip, ladies lunch, ladies gossiping and lunching promise to “cut a b*tch” if they ever see said B again, other ladies don’t think it’s a good idea for a group gathering, yet, a group gathering is planned. Mayhem ensues right as the show’s hour comes to an end. Lather, rinse, repeat for a season…
Tami Roman continues her deep conversation with her mother. Her mother is very emotional, and she admits that she too was molested as a child and she’s been going to therapy as well to work through her issues. The pair seems have a breakthrough which ends in hugs and tears.
Royce Reed is thrilled that Dezmon Briscoe, her NFL playing beau from Tampa Bay, is visiting in Miami. She immediately begins grilling him about his initial meeting with her father. I can’t tell if Dezmon is flattered or scared when she begins to compare their relationship to her parents’ forty plus year marriage. He admits that he is deeply in love, but he also has a lot of “we’re going with the flow” talk.
Tami is excited that Shaunie O’Neal is in visiting because it gives her the opportunity dish on Kenya Bell’s music video. Tami is disappointed that Kenya didn’t stick up for herself, but she also wishes Kenya could see the importance of listening to constructive criticism. Both women do a spot-on interpretation on Jenn Williams, who was uncomfortable at the video screening, and it segues into how all the women will behave when they head to the horse races. Last year, Tami had her own screaming match at the track, so she’s curious to see if they ladies can act maturely. Sure. Tami is also concerned, in light of Jenn and Royce’s new truce, if Jenn will change her tune towards Royce if she makes up with Evelyn Lozada.
Evelyn meets with her friend/assistant Nia who also used to be close with Jenn. Nia is upset that someone she was such good friends with can now pretend like she doesn’t even know her. Evelyn feels badly that Jenn has hurt Nia’s feelings so badly. Evelyn vows that is she is around when Nia wants to confront Jenn, she is going to stay out it. Yeah, I can’t wait to see that happen.
Perhaps, the Bravo producers are just as sick of the excessive housewives drama and reality star train wrecks as the viewers are. TMZ is reporting that while the network’s head honchos are not straying from the franchise that skyrocketed its viewership, it is going in a different, more Godly direction.
Sources tell the site that the new series will showcase “accomplished and upscale women in the Calabasas area who have fabulous lives, are very social, are involved in the community, but also have a very deep commitment to their faith.” Oh gracious…isn’t this where the Kardashians live? Please ladies, no need to apply! That goes for you too, Shanna Moakler!
TheChristianPost.com elaborates, hoping the show isn’t just reality television’s answer to ABC’s new hit GCB, which showcases Bravo-esque caricatures, as they practice anything but what they preach. Some critics believe that the scripted dramedy mocks the Christian faith, and they hope that this Calabasas housewives spin-off isn’t Bravo’s way of doing the same.
The site continues, stating that the “franchise typically follows the lives of elite housewives who are often seen flashing designer goods, indulging in exorbitant shopping sprees, and promoting cattiness which many would argue is far from the core values of the Christian faith.”
After all, the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County already have a self-proclaimed Jesus Barbie, who gets more than her fair share of backlash for citing her morals before trashing a cast mate. And I don’t have to tell you that not only is that not considered very “Christian,” it’s also not considered very nice.
WOULD YOU WATCH THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF CALABASAS? COMMENTS ON SEEING A HOUSEWIVES FRANCHISE THAT FOR ONCE ISN’T BASED SOLELY IN DRAMA AND JEALOUSY?
Last night’s Survivor was just another cut-throat edition of boys against the girls, with the girls winning…as we always do.
At the merged Tikiano, Model Jay seems to be down with the ladies while Tarzan shares with Troyzan his fears about the gender breakdown. Troyzan knows he has an immunity idol, yet he reminds Tarzan that it’s still to be retrieved. The group goes to find tree-mail, but instead is met with a chalk board, some pegs and logs, and a letter which is not to be opened until everyone is together. The tribe must divide themselves into two teams and finish the intricate challenge. The winners will be rewarded with a boat ride and a barbeque festival…where do I sign up?
The group decides that the fairest course is to randomly draw names. The first team is Troy, Jay, Alicia, Kat, and Tarzan. The second team is Lief and the remaining ladies. Troyzan elects himself to be host of the game. Oh gracious…this is ladder ball, or ladder golf, or horse balls…regardless I have played this game multiple times on Sullivans’ Island. I am about as good at it as the castaways, which reads to be HORRIBLE. Somehow the “red” team wins, even though both groups had poor showings. Regardless, the red team is treated to an amazing feast.
After the second episode of Dance Moms: Miami, I must stick to my brazen statement that I like this one more than the original. Don’t get me wrong, I love Abby Lee and the crew, but that was just a crazy dance instructor and some pseudo-normal moms (for the most part…for the most part). I LOVE Victor and Angel. I love that they are passionate about what they do, but they are not hateful and crazy—unless they are dealing with these basketcase mothers. They blatantly call the women insane, and it is fabulous.
Last night we started with my man Lucas at the top of the list, mainly for not dropping Kimmy during the pair’s duet. Kimmy’s mom is thrilled see her place second, although Kimmy thinks a tie would have been more appropriate. Sammy isn’t keen on being third, and Susan is in tears that Jessi’s name must be in the bottom two. Jessi placed second in her solo for Pete’s sake! Hannah takes the fourth spot, even though Angel and Victor cite her improvement. Jessi fell from the number one spot last week to last on the list.
Victor blames Jessi’s poor sportsmanship for the drastic turn of events. She is in tears but has nothing to say for herself. Susan is livid. The only reason Jessi snatched the trophy out of Hannah’s hands was because Hannah wouldn’t give it to her when she asked for it. Because that makes it all right? The girl is fourteen-years-old having a spat with a ten-year-old? Susan tells Debi that both of their daughters are to blame, and Debi won’t hear any of it. The women are screaming at each other, and Angel tries to remind them that they are behaving this way in front of their children. He refers to them as psychotic b*tches, and he is definitely on to something. Susan takes Jessi outside, stating that her past behavior has been an embarrassment. Hmm…I wonder if Jessi isn’t thinking the exact same thing! Susan instructs her to go back into the studio and apologize to Victor, Hannah, and her other fellow dancers.
The competition this week is in Long Beach, California. The group dance is revisiting jazz-funk, and Lucas scores a solo. Sammy and Hannah are also going to be dancing solo numbers. Debi is so excited that Hannah will be competing against her other arch nemesis, Sammy. The group dance centers around “party boy” Lucas, new in the city. Jessi returns and Angel makes her apologize to the group. Victor comforts her because hey, she didn’t choose her cuckoo mother. Angel thinks Victor is reinforcing bad behavior. Susan tries to apologize to Angel, and he rakes her over the coals. It was pretty awesome. He makes no secret of thinking she’s five-star crazy.
After a mediocre group dance practice, Angel promises to pull out of the competition if they don’t show vast improvement. Hannah is doing a contemporary solo. I know nothing about dance, so while she is probably amazing, the choreography reminds me of something Chuck Norris would do. Sammy will be dancing a jazz solo, and little Lolita is sporting some bright red lipstick. Angel dislikes Victor’s choreography and their arguing is placing more stress on Sammy. Lucas’ solo is entitled “I Believe in Something” and it’s lyrical. Basically it is just a lot of sad dancing by my little Biebs. The mothers just look on from their sofas providing meaningless commentary. Victor declares Lucas to be “amazing.”
The jazz-funk group dance is one hot mess. Susan thinks Victor has PMS. Ani has no problem with Victor yelling at Kimmy. After all, football coaches yell at their players. This is no different. Angel has had enough of the group being off-beat, and he dismisses them…basically stating that he can’t stand the sight of them. Victor is peeved, as clearly they need this time to practice. Angel wins, per the usual.
Debi’s older daughter is home from college, and Debi reveals that Abby has joined the studio. The scandal! Basically Hannah’s mother and sister are talking about how she wasn’t nearly as good a dancer at her old studio while talking smack about another tween. I could maybe understand tween dissing tween, but this woman is just as ridiculous as Susan. These ladies are clearly living vicariously through their poor daughters!
Angel tries to a team building exercise the following day where the kids basically tell each other how each feels about their fellow classmates. The mothers look curiously from their perch on the sofas…they have never seen anything like this before. Angel then instructs Jessi to tell her mother what Susan needs to improve upon as far as behavior. Oh snap!
The mothers watch Hannah rehearse, and both Debi and Abby’s horns are showing. These two dislike the others’ daughters more than the girls dislike each other…which, for the record, they seem to be fine but slightly competitive. Sammy’s practice time is cut short due to drama between Victor and Angel. Angel has stepped in to tweak Victor’s choreography. It’s a good thing that Kimmy’s mom can read lips through the glass partition so that the women can follow the disagreement.
Lindsey Harrison is a teenager from Reno, Nevada. She lives with her mother and younger sister in a space so small, she and her sister share a bed. She also has two older sisters who no longer live at home, but all of the girls are super close. Lindsey has been with her boyfriend Forest Ponce for three years…oh, and she aspires to be a detective and a cage fighter. Yes, you read that correctly. Hmm…what else can I say about Lindsey? Oh yes, she’s 16 and Pregnant of course! Lindsey also sports a giant tattoo across her belly…
Lindsey reveals to her friends that the couple often used condoms, but once time they forgot and she didn’t get pregnant. Because of this, they felt they could be more lax with contraceptives. Both Lindsey’s mother and boyfriend had hoped she would get an abortion. Forest even broke up with Lindsey for a few months when she decided to keep the baby. Now, however, he seems excited about having a daughter who they are planning to name Aniyah. Keeping it in the franchise, I must note that Forest looks like the love child of Chelsea Houska’sAdam Lind and Jenelle’s mistake Kieffer Delp. Attractive, no? Lindsey is glad that Forrest is being more supportive, but she really wishes he would take the initiative to get a job.
Lindsey is hanging out with her older sister Dallas. She tells her sister that she now must put aside her dreams of going pro with cage fighting at age eighteen. Lindsey hasn’t even told her trainer that she is pregnant since he is such a father figure to her. In an effort to spark her enthusiasm, Lindsey’s mother encourages her to go to a cage match. Lindsey is concerned that she’ll see someone she used to train with who will reveal her secret to her trainer. She and her mother are bickering a lot, so she finds herself spending a lot of time at Forest’s house. Lindsey hopes he’ll want her to move in with him. They both think that makes the most sense for their growing family.
Lindsey goes shopping for baby gear and is a bit defeated to find out how much the necessities will cost. She lunches with Forest, and basically they can afford the crib. As she’s the only one with a job, he is going to need to step up to the plate. He promises to start looking. Lindsey discusses potentially moving in with Forest with her other older sister Lacey. She thinks that if they live separately, both homes must be equipped for their daughter, essentially doubling the cost. Lacey seems skeptical about Forest helping as much as Lindsey expects.
After a week, Forest has yet to start his job search while Lindsey is seven months pregnant and taking on extra shifts at McDonald’s. Over dinner with Forest and his mom and sister, his mother broaches the subject of Lindsey moving in with the family. His mom Dora doesn’t want her son working and trying to go to school and complete his homework. Apparently, it’s okay that Lindsey does though. The couple argues after dinner, and it ends with Forest hanging up on Lindsey.
Later that night, Lindsey starts to have contractions…very scary considering she is still two months from her due date. Of course, Forest refuses to answer his phone. She’s admitted to the hospital. They schedule a shot to clear out the baby’s lungs in the event Lindsey goes into pre-term labor. As early as it is, there is a risk the baby’s lungs haven’t fully developed. The following day, Lindsey’s contractions have subsided, and she is frustrated that she still has yet to hear from Forest. She is released from the hospital and ordered to adhere to strict bed rest. Her sister Dallas comes to retrieve her from the hospital and is disgusted to hear how Forest is acting. She thinks Lindsey deserves much better than Forest. I tend to agree.
So where we last left the “ladies” of Basketball Wives, Evelyn Lozadahad just hurled a wine bottle at Kenya Bell’s head. Good times! Is that a cross ring on her finger? WWJD? Not this, I assure you! Tami Roman is able to pull Evelyn away from Kenya as she threatens death. Suzie Ketcham feels like she’s in Iraq, what with all these wine bottles and plates whizzing by her head. Shaunie O’Neal pretends to be distraught at this turn of events. Tami admits that she wasn’t trying to protect Kenya as much as she was trying to avoid her friend committing homicide. Classy, Ev!
Suzie is working out with Jenn Williams, and she’s hoping Jenn will give Royce Reed a few minutes of her time in hopes of a reconciliation. Jenn reveals that she wasn’t so much mad at Royce as her feelings were hurt. Perfect, exclaims Suzie–as Royce feels the same way! Not quite…Jenn is still miffed that Royce opted to “work” with her ex Eric Williams on his “movie.”
Meanwhile Tami and Evelyn meet with Shaunie to discuss the annoying bug which is Kenya. Are they hoping Shaunie will fire her mid-season? Shaunie definitely thought Kenya was crazy at the dinner. After all, she was throwing plates and wine bottles not showing any emotion when confronted by Evelyn. Kenya is not right, y’all! She just watched Evelyn take off her earrings without fear or concern. Kenya must be in-flipping-sane! Shaunie recommends a tropical girls’ trip to Tahiti, and the women question Evelyn if it would be alright to invite Jenn. Of course it is…just give Evelyn more time to perfect her aim! Shaunie reminds Evelyn and Tami that Suzie has invited all the women to the race track. Should be a good time…I hope the horses are betting on which “wife” will fall victim to the first sucker punch!
Kenya and Jenn are going wine shopping. Is it just me or does Kenya seem even more comatose than episodes past? Kenya is hoping to purchase some vino to serve at the screening of her new video. Jenn encourages her to invite the crew.
Are they or aren’t they? Do you even care? Of course Kim Kardashian can’t stay out of the media for three seconds, so naturally she is milking her romance–or fauxmance?–with rapper and d-bag (I love you, Taylor Swift!) Kanye West.
Apparently, a source close to Kim’s husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries, is speaking out to Hollywoodlife.com about Kim’s newest conquest. Or would it be Kanye’s newest conquest? It’s hard to have competing famewhores…things get confusing!
Kris’ friend tells the site, “Whether or not they are in a real relationship, it’s a publicity stunt to sell records on his part and more importantly for her, to divert people from talking about her divorce. If anyone deserves each other, it’s these two. They both love publicity and material things.”
Adding speculation to this whole ‘we’re madly in love’ charade, Kim has been photographed several times very publicly leaving Kanye’s apartment. In fact, there’s Kim in the above photo just coincidentally leaving her new beau’s apartment wearing his lounge pants and being like ‘Oh, paparazzi! Where’d you come from?’.
The insider claims that Kim and Kanye’s recent public displays of affection and NYC slumber parties are certainly planned by the duos publicists, citing it is “no coincidence they started the same night his new song dropped.” A song, I might add, that won’t be making my iTunes playlist…I will, however, be downloading Maria’s version of Nyquil.
What song, you’re asking? Of course you’re not asking that–everyone has heard that Kanye’s new single Theraflu references his love for Kim (by name!) and threatens to have Jay-Z kick Kris off the New Jersey Nets. The source continues, “I’m convinced they are the ones who have been tipping off the paparazzi to take their photos everywhere they go so that they can get the publicity. Someone who is calling the paparazzi can’t be as desperate about her divorce as she says she is.”
Kris Humphries isn’t the only Kris who has a “source” close to the story, though. Surprisingly, however, both Kris insiders are in agreement! Someone close to the Kardashian Kamp reveals, “It’s so calculated and of course, Kim’s mother, Kris, is all behind it. Look at all the great PR they are getting. I must say they make a perfect couple. They both love the limelight and can’t get enough attention.”
“This is also a big f–k you to Kris Humphries. I kind of feel sorry for him because Kim is acting like [she] never ever shed a tear for him,” adds the insider. “I don’t understand why the Kardashians think this is a good move for Kim. But believe me everything that family does calculated.”
The local paper states that the intimate affair was officiated by the Reverend Marty Gute, a city commissioner and minister in Ashland. It was attended by a very small number of family, including Leah’s twin daughters, with ex-husband Corey Simms, and close friends…as well as MTV camera crews, of course!
Reverend Gute reveals that he received a phone call from MTV producers on Tuesday, hoping for permission to film inside the chapel. He recalls, “When I asked what was going on, they said it was for the Leah Simms wedding, and that name didn’t ring a bell at first.” However, when Gute told his wife and daughter about the phone call, they both knew exactly who he would be marrying.
“I think they wanted to keep it out of the news, but the producer said he knew it would hit Facebook soon,” Gute continued. “He asked my daughter not to tweet about it, though.” He also believes that the couple will have a larger, more public wedding in the near future. Of course they will!
Citing Leah and Jeremy’s nuptials as one of the most exciting he’s officiated, Gute is not stranger to marrying pseudo-celebs. He tells the newspaper, “We’ve had two couples on Jerry Springer — one from Boyd County and one from Ashland.” Yup, it sounds about right to add Leah into that mix.
Reverend Gute states that the mothers of the bride and groom served as witnesses, and everyone seemed to have a wonderful time. The wedding was scheduled to begin at 3pm, but apparently didn’t start until 4:30 due to the couple attaining their marriage license at the Boyd County Courthouse and procuring their rings at a local pawn shop pre-ceremony. Needless to say that MTV cameras were on-hand to film those things as well.
Regardless, “Everybody was happy and joyful and took a ton of pictures,” exclaims the Reverend. No word yet on how Corey or his camo hat are feeling about the newlyweds!
ARE YOU SURPRISED TO HEAR ABOUT LEAH AND JEREMY’S WEDDING? DO YOU THINK IT WILL LAST? COMMENTS ON HOW COREY IS LIKELY FEELING RIGHT ABOUT NOW?