We’re getting down there in numbers as far as this season’s American Idol is concerned. Ryan Seacrest reveals that Wednesday’s show garnered 53 million votes, which is a record for the season. The remaining seven perform a group number, and I have to say that these are not my favorite…although I do love Fox’s excessive use of balloons in the opening number.
After the necessary product placement for Ford, Ryan engages in witty banter with the final seven. He asks Hollie about how last week’s save of Jessica has affected the relationships with the remaining singers. She gives a politically correct answer before she and Joshua are called to the stage. After Joshua’s two songs on Wednesday, JLo calls him “beautiful” while Randy Jackson touts him as one of the most gifted singers ever to grace the AI stage. Steven Tyler believes Joshua climbed inside him…in a good way.
Hollie channeled Adele. While the judges loved it, and I am no critic, I stand firm that it’s always a bad idea to try to recreate a song which is still popular…and sung by someone so revered in such a small amount of (American pop culture) time. I loved her “Son of a Preacher Man” rendition, but I don’t think she can hold a candle to Adele, so she shouldn’t have even forced the comparison. Jimmy is pulling for Joshua, while he thinks Hollie has improved. Joshua is safe while Hollie finds herself the first in the bottom three.
Taylor Hicks crawls out of that bar I once saw him at in Birmingham to announce he’s got a Vegas tour in the works. Sure you do…and I am a big fan of THicks. He also introduces recent Idol winner Kris Allen who debuts a new mediocre song. The next two up for results are Skylar and Elise. Skylar rocked a country version of Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” and I think Gaga herself would be proud. Her rendition of “Heard It Through the Grapevine” was just as impressive. Elise is from my home state, so I am glad that she garnered love from JLo and Steven Tyler...but I am not her biggest fan. Loved Skylar, liked Elise in a “I hate people get voted off this show” sort of way. Ryan informs Elise that she must join Hollie in the bottom three.
After Model Jay was sent packing last week, the division between the men and the women was as evident as ever on last night’s Survivor. Troyzan knows he’s likely next on the chopping block. He gets in a verbal altercation with Alicia after Christina didn’t keep her word to him. From here on out, it’s Troyzan versus the world!
Troyzan is so peeved, and he likens the women to gold-digging divorcees. He perks up considerably when he finds cash in the tree-mail. The tribe learns that they will be able to use their money at an auction. Each teammate has $500, and each bid must be in $20 increments. Tribe members may not pool their money. Jeff Probst recommends that if someone sees something they like, they should bid immediately as the auction could end at any time.
The first items up for bid are some frosted donuts and iced coffee. For a mere $160, Chelsea wins it. Kat starts the bidding for chips, guacamole, and a margarita at one hundred smackers. She and Sabrina get into a bidding war, with Sabrina takes a long swig of that margarita for the low price of four hundred dollars. A protein shake and some bananas are next…Lief wins after again bidding against Kat. I think she just wants to buy something, regardless of what it is. Alicia bids $20 for a shower with shampoo and a toothbrush, but Kim takes it for forty. The tribe watches as she slips out of her skivvies and starts brushing her teeth.
Christina bids $40 on a BLT with an iced tea. Kat immediately counters with one hundred dollars. I am really starting to get the feeling she doesn’t know how this works. She ends up paying $180 for the sandwich. A hot ticket item is next—peanut butter and chocolate. Kim leaves her shower, covered in soap, to outbid Alicia. She snacks on her peanut butter from the shower. Everyone gets teary when Jeff announces a letter from home is up next. I bet Sabrina is second guessing her $400 tequila shot right about now. Alicia opens and closes the bidding with all her money. I guess she grew a heart when Colton left! Everyone who has their full pot can purchase their letter. Tarzan can barely talk when he goes to retrieve his letter.
Dance Moms: Miami is still living up to its initial hype, for me at least. I love the Victor/Angel good cop/bad cop dynamic, and once again, the dancers prove that they are way more capable of maturity, class, and kindness than their bat poo crazy mothers.
We resume with the ever ominous list. Even though the group out-performed everyone, it’s not enough for Victor and Angel. Despite a second place finish, Lucas is on top. A proud Kimmy takes the second spot for remembering choreography, and, more importantly, having the least crazy mother. Even though Sammy placed first in the solo performance, she’s in the third position. A smug Sammy is confused. Jessi’s mother is already crying knowing her daughter’s near the bottom. Victor reminds her that a reputation takes a second to destroy and months to rebuild. Remember that, poor sport! Debi is upset that Hannah had her best dance yet but still ends up at the bottom.
The crew is heading back to California. How do I become the child of a Dance Mom? I would like to traipse around the country each week, despite my fear of flying. Lucas and Kimmy are granted solos. Sammy is given a solo by Victor, accompanied by harsh words from Angel. Neither Jessi nor Hannah will be dancing solos. The group dance is a deep, contemporary number based in each dancers’ insecurities.
Angel is shocked at how nice the moms are being towards one another. He cites that there must have been a special on booze at the liquor store. Man, I love him. Of course, by nice, he means the mothers are passive aggressively complimenting their counterparts…make that their counterparts’ children. Victor and Angel tap into the crews’ insecurities. Are they licensed therapists? The kids are crying about how small and ugly and imperfect they feel, and it pretty much all goes straight back to how their moms behave. The moms are proud…yet Susan thinks that Sammy isn’t quite deserving a three-run solo. Even the normally calm Bridgette calls out Abby on her cockiness surrounding her daughter. So basically, the insecurity exercise works on the kids, yet it ignites the moms. The moms, sans Abby, go to on a group bathroom outing, which all girls know is code for major gossip time.
The troupe practices purging their insecurities through dance. After Debi was excited to see Abby finally treated as the outsider, she is perturbed to see Bridgette approaching Abby to apologize. Bridgette is convinced that Debi manipulated the women to find fault with Abby, mother to Sammy, who, may I remind you, is a child and also Debi’s nemesis—not Debi’s daughter’s nemesis, but Debi’s nemesis. The only issue Hannah and Sammy seem to have is that their mothers want them to hate each other.
On last night’s 90 minute (seriously, MTV?) 16 and Pregnant we were introduced to Alex Sekella from Pennsylvania who lives with her mother and two younger siblings. She’s an aspiring dancer who works at a fast food job and teaches children how to dance at a local studio. Alex has been with Matt McCann for two years, and the pair couldn’t be more opposite. Alex is focused, driven, and a good student, while Matt is in and out of trouble. From the first two minutes of the show, you can tell he’s a deadbeat.
Alex’s mother took her to get on birth control as soon as she became sexually active (slow clap for her—seriously!), which is refreshing for this season. However, after trying to give her daughter the necessary precautions, Alex’s mom is less than thrilled with the current situation. Alex has two choices…adoption or find another place to live. Harsh, but sometimes there isn’t enough tough love on this show.
Matt is confused and not ready to be a dad. I must also mention that he’s always sweaty and looks like he’s on something. Matt is leaning towards adoption, but selfishly doesn’t want to miss out on his child’s life. Alex’s biggest fear is parenting alone. Matt has some great words of comfort with, “We’ll see.” It’s becoming more difficult for an almost nine months pregnant Alex to teach dance, much less practice. She shares her insecurities with her dance classmates. Alex admits that her pregnancy was an “oops” because they were using protection and she was on birth control. She reveals they didn’t get the Plan B pill because it was too expensive.
Talking with her younger siblings, they are brutally honest. Her brother wants to know if it’s against the law for a teenager to even have a baby. Out of the mouths of babes…you have to appreciate the candidness of a ten-year-old’s mind. Her mother discusses adoption with her, again telling her that no baby will be raised in her home. Alex is clearly torn. She wants to be a mom, and her mother reminds her that many adoptions can be open.
Alex becomes more convinced about motherhood while checking out cute clothing for little girls. Of course, she is smart enough to realize that a $28 outfit will take more than five hours of work to afford. She’s walking a mile to her fast food job contemplating her decision. Alex would like reassurance from Matt, but shockingly he’s MIA for their group mini-golf date. Her friends basically tell her she’s dating a deadbeat, but young love is clearly blind.
Her final ultrasound occurs, and after many voicemails, Matt is in attendance. He’s either drunk, high, or ridiculously hungover while he sits glassy-eyed in the corner, not engaging in any sort of conversation with the doctor. Winner! Later, Alex talks with a friend about her final decision, and she refuses to make it without Matt’s involvement. I see where she’s coming from, but basically everyone in her life is urging her to get rid of this dude. Over lunch with one of her best friends, a proposition is formed…her friend’s mother would like to adopt the baby. While it may seem ideal for some, to me it sounds too close for comfort, as the baby she has such a hard time parting with would become her best friend’s younger sister. Yes, she would get to see her child, but when it comes down to brass tacks, Alex would have to watch her daughter raised in her vicinity with no say, whatsoever. While I commend the potential adoptive parents, I can’t imagine how difficult that would be for all parties involved.
Matt is still being elusive, so she goes to speak with her friend’s parents. They can’t have any more children, and they want to adopt Alex’s baby. It’s a strange (but refreshing? Or just strange) conversation to watch. Her friend’s parents are willing to wait until she’s ready to make a choice, even if that decision isn’t made until well after the baby is born. The couple introduces Alex to their neighbor who needs a roommate to make rent. They would love for Alex to live there while she figures out what she wants to do.
She finally talks to Matt who is more concerned about a pet rabbit doing its business on him than chatting about their future. He’s again totally out of it, but Alex seems awestruck at how sweaty and cute he is. She tells him about the situation that has been presented, and he likes the idea of his child being adopted by a family down the street. Alex really wants to be called “mom” and make it work, and he thinks she’s not thinking enough about the baby…together they don’t make enough to support themselves, much less a child.
With a week to go until her due date, Alex shares her friend Brianna’s parents’ offer with her mother. Her mom understands her concern about being in such close proximity with her daughter knowing they will have the parental rights. However, her mother isn’t thrilled at the thought of her living with the baby at the neighbor’s house until she can make a decision. Her mom thinks that choice needs to be in place before the baby is born.
Alex takes Matt to speak with Brianna’s parents, and again, what is this dude smoking? Alex wants the potential adoptive parents to know that they will have the final say as to visitation. Matt supports the adoption, but thinks that Alex should have the final say. As he’s a year younger—a rising junior in high school—he knows he still has a lot to do before he can provide anything to support his child. Brianna’s dad doesn’t want to put any pressure on the teens, but his wife clearly hopes this will work out for them. As a trial run, Alex moves in some things next door but spends the night at Brianna’s before moving in. Of course, that night she goes into labor.
Before heading to the hospital, Alex sends many unanswered texts to Matt. Her mother arrives at Brianna’s to take her to the hospital…although several hours later she’s still having contractions and writhing on Brianna’s parents’ floor. Bypassing the hospital, the mother-daughter pair track Matt down on his bike…although it totally looked like he was trying to evade them. When Alex falls out of the car mid-contraction, Matt gives up on playing BMX star to get in the car.
After eighteen hours of labor, Alex is finally ready to push. She is beyond thrilled that Matt stayed with her the whole time. News flash…it’s what he is supposed to do…no props should be given. Arabella Elizabeth is born, and it’s the first footage of Matt not sweating up a storm. After giving birth, Alex is having serious reservations about adoption. Matt seems to bond with his daughter, and Alex hopes that he can commit to being a family.
Last night’s Basketball Wives was exactly everything we’ve come to expect from this formulaic season. Ladies gossip, ladies lunch, ladies gossiping and lunching promise to “cut a b*tch” if they ever see said B again, other ladies don’t think it’s a good idea for a group gathering, yet, a group gathering is planned. Mayhem ensues right as the show’s hour comes to an end. Lather, rinse, repeat for a season…
Tami Roman continues her deep conversation with her mother. Her mother is very emotional, and she admits that she too was molested as a child and she’s been going to therapy as well to work through her issues. The pair seems have a breakthrough which ends in hugs and tears.
Royce Reed is thrilled that Dezmon Briscoe, her NFL playing beau from Tampa Bay, is visiting in Miami. She immediately begins grilling him about his initial meeting with her father. I can’t tell if Dezmon is flattered or scared when she begins to compare their relationship to her parents’ forty plus year marriage. He admits that he is deeply in love, but he also has a lot of “we’re going with the flow” talk.
Tami is excited that Shaunie O’Neal is in visiting because it gives her the opportunity dish on Kenya Bell’s music video. Tami is disappointed that Kenya didn’t stick up for herself, but she also wishes Kenya could see the importance of listening to constructive criticism. Both women do a spot-on interpretation on Jenn Williams, who was uncomfortable at the video screening, and it segues into how all the women will behave when they head to the horse races. Last year, Tami had her own screaming match at the track, so she’s curious to see if they ladies can act maturely. Sure. Tami is also concerned, in light of Jenn and Royce’s new truce, if Jenn will change her tune towards Royce if she makes up with Evelyn Lozada.
Evelyn meets with her friend/assistant Nia who also used to be close with Jenn. Nia is upset that someone she was such good friends with can now pretend like she doesn’t even know her. Evelyn feels badly that Jenn has hurt Nia’s feelings so badly. Evelyn vows that is she is around when Nia wants to confront Jenn, she is going to stay out it. Yeah, I can’t wait to see that happen.
Perhaps, the Bravo producers are just as sick of the excessive housewives drama and reality star train wrecks as the viewers are. TMZ is reporting that while the network’s head honchos are not straying from the franchise that skyrocketed its viewership, it is going in a different, more Godly direction.
Sources tell the site that the new series will showcase “accomplished and upscale women in the Calabasas area who have fabulous lives, are very social, are involved in the community, but also have a very deep commitment to their faith.” Oh gracious…isn’t this where the Kardashians live? Please ladies, no need to apply! That goes for you too, Shanna Moakler!
TheChristianPost.com elaborates, hoping the show isn’t just reality television’s answer to ABC’s new hit GCB, which showcases Bravo-esque caricatures, as they practice anything but what they preach. Some critics believe that the scripted dramedy mocks the Christian faith, and they hope that this Calabasas housewives spin-off isn’t Bravo’s way of doing the same.
The site continues, stating that the “franchise typically follows the lives of elite housewives who are often seen flashing designer goods, indulging in exorbitant shopping sprees, and promoting cattiness which many would argue is far from the core values of the Christian faith.”
After all, the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County already have a self-proclaimed Jesus Barbie, who gets more than her fair share of backlash for citing her morals before trashing a cast mate. And I don’t have to tell you that not only is that not considered very “Christian,” it’s also not considered very nice.
WOULD YOU WATCH THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF CALABASAS? COMMENTS ON SEEING A HOUSEWIVES FRANCHISE THAT FOR ONCE ISN’T BASED SOLELY IN DRAMA AND JEALOUSY?
Last night’s Survivor was just another cut-throat edition of boys against the girls, with the girls winning…as we always do.
At the merged Tikiano, Model Jay seems to be down with the ladies while Tarzan shares with Troyzan his fears about the gender breakdown. Troyzan knows he has an immunity idol, yet he reminds Tarzan that it’s still to be retrieved. The group goes to find tree-mail, but instead is met with a chalk board, some pegs and logs, and a letter which is not to be opened until everyone is together. The tribe must divide themselves into two teams and finish the intricate challenge. The winners will be rewarded with a boat ride and a barbeque festival…where do I sign up?
The group decides that the fairest course is to randomly draw names. The first team is Troy, Jay, Alicia, Kat, and Tarzan. The second team is Lief and the remaining ladies. Troyzan elects himself to be host of the game. Oh gracious…this is ladder ball, or ladder golf, or horse balls…regardless I have played this game multiple times on Sullivans’ Island. I am about as good at it as the castaways, which reads to be HORRIBLE. Somehow the “red” team wins, even though both groups had poor showings. Regardless, the red team is treated to an amazing feast.
After the second episode of Dance Moms: Miami, I must stick to my brazen statement that I like this one more than the original. Don’t get me wrong, I love Abby Lee and the crew, but that was just a crazy dance instructor and some pseudo-normal moms (for the most part…for the most part). I LOVE Victor and Angel. I love that they are passionate about what they do, but they are not hateful and crazy—unless they are dealing with these basketcase mothers. They blatantly call the women insane, and it is fabulous.
Last night we started with my man Lucas at the top of the list, mainly for not dropping Kimmy during the pair’s duet. Kimmy’s mom is thrilled see her place second, although Kimmy thinks a tie would have been more appropriate. Sammy isn’t keen on being third, and Susan is in tears that Jessi’s name must be in the bottom two. Jessi placed second in her solo for Pete’s sake! Hannah takes the fourth spot, even though Angel and Victor cite her improvement. Jessi fell from the number one spot last week to last on the list.
Victor blames Jessi’s poor sportsmanship for the drastic turn of events. She is in tears but has nothing to say for herself. Susan is livid. The only reason Jessi snatched the trophy out of Hannah’s hands was because Hannah wouldn’t give it to her when she asked for it. Because that makes it all right? The girl is fourteen-years-old having a spat with a ten-year-old? Susan tells Debi that both of their daughters are to blame, and Debi won’t hear any of it. The women are screaming at each other, and Angel tries to remind them that they are behaving this way in front of their children. He refers to them as psychotic b*tches, and he is definitely on to something. Susan takes Jessi outside, stating that her past behavior has been an embarrassment. Hmm…I wonder if Jessi isn’t thinking the exact same thing! Susan instructs her to go back into the studio and apologize to Victor, Hannah, and her other fellow dancers.
The competition this week is in Long Beach, California. The group dance is revisiting jazz-funk, and Lucas scores a solo. Sammy and Hannah are also going to be dancing solo numbers. Debi is so excited that Hannah will be competing against her other arch nemesis, Sammy. The group dance centers around “party boy” Lucas, new in the city. Jessi returns and Angel makes her apologize to the group. Victor comforts her because hey, she didn’t choose her cuckoo mother. Angel thinks Victor is reinforcing bad behavior. Susan tries to apologize to Angel, and he rakes her over the coals. It was pretty awesome. He makes no secret of thinking she’s five-star crazy.
After a mediocre group dance practice, Angel promises to pull out of the competition if they don’t show vast improvement. Hannah is doing a contemporary solo. I know nothing about dance, so while she is probably amazing, the choreography reminds me of something Chuck Norris would do. Sammy will be dancing a jazz solo, and little Lolita is sporting some bright red lipstick. Angel dislikes Victor’s choreography and their arguing is placing more stress on Sammy. Lucas’ solo is entitled “I Believe in Something” and it’s lyrical. Basically it is just a lot of sad dancing by my little Biebs. The mothers just look on from their sofas providing meaningless commentary. Victor declares Lucas to be “amazing.”
The jazz-funk group dance is one hot mess. Susan thinks Victor has PMS. Ani has no problem with Victor yelling at Kimmy. After all, football coaches yell at their players. This is no different. Angel has had enough of the group being off-beat, and he dismisses them…basically stating that he can’t stand the sight of them. Victor is peeved, as clearly they need this time to practice. Angel wins, per the usual.
Debi’s older daughter is home from college, and Debi reveals that Abby has joined the studio. The scandal! Basically Hannah’s mother and sister are talking about how she wasn’t nearly as good a dancer at her old studio while talking smack about another tween. I could maybe understand tween dissing tween, but this woman is just as ridiculous as Susan. These ladies are clearly living vicariously through their poor daughters!
Angel tries to a team building exercise the following day where the kids basically tell each other how each feels about their fellow classmates. The mothers look curiously from their perch on the sofas…they have never seen anything like this before. Angel then instructs Jessi to tell her mother what Susan needs to improve upon as far as behavior. Oh snap!
The mothers watch Hannah rehearse, and both Debi and Abby’s horns are showing. These two dislike the others’ daughters more than the girls dislike each other…which, for the record, they seem to be fine but slightly competitive. Sammy’s practice time is cut short due to drama between Victor and Angel. Angel has stepped in to tweak Victor’s choreography. It’s a good thing that Kimmy’s mom can read lips through the glass partition so that the women can follow the disagreement.