Oh Lord. I am terrified to write this blog post because I know how things go when one speaks of Teresa Giudice from Real Housewives of New Jersey. Here's my disclaimer: I think Teresa is a whole lot smarter than she lets on, and I think she has the ability to be extremely manipulative when it works for her. But guess what? I think the same thing about Melissa Gorga as well! In fact, all of these women seem hell bent in taking down one another in the press.
Here's the thing, Teresa can't have the keen business sense she possesses and be as ditzy as she appears. She knows fully what her fan base expects her personality to be…but it is the same with each of the ladies. Carolina Manzo is the Mama Bear, and Jacqueline Laurita is the airhead. This isn't their first rodeo! I actually find myself feeling sorry for Teresa. Her marriage seems to be in shambles, and her husband is grossly disrespectful. It's not fun to watch, it's pathetic. Of course, Teresa's fatal flaw is that she never can (and probably never will) actually admit when she is in the wrong. Oh, she'll flippantly say it in the tabloids or in her blog, but it is always followed by a qualification of how things aren't really her fault. Though she claims otherwise, Tre has perfected the art of playing the victim…and people buy it hook, line, and sinker.
That said, do I think Teresa set up Melissa with stripper-gate? No! Teresa says there is no way she could pull off that stunt given that she's a horrible actress. False. She is a wonderful actress, but I have watched enough Bravo to know that it has its own agenda and story line. The network is the ultimate puppet master, and we all know Kim D. would do anything to be one of those puppets. So, let's recap before we get into the meat of this post: I think Teresa is capable of masterminding stripper-gate, but I honestly think she has some sense (twisted as it may be) of family loyalty. Paired with Melissa's obvious desire to replace Teresa in popularity with the viewers, it makes for a perfect storm of drama. So, while Teresa has clean hands in this situation, it doesn't mean she isn't culpable for other things, like selling stories to the tabloids or pretending to think digging at Caroline's kids in her cookbook was an innocent joke. Disclaimer complete!
It wouldn't be a mature adult relationship if it wasn't playing out dramatically over Twitter, right? There is just something so sexy about a grown man who has nothing better to do with his time than to passive aggressively tweet about everything under the son. Thank you, Brooks Ayers, for showing me exactly what I want in my dream guy!
Brooks, who has been dating Real Housewives of Orange County'sVicki Gunvalson, has recently had a lot to say in the Twitterverse. I guess not working allows him that grand luxury. I wonder what I would do if I didn't have to work. Oh, I know! I'd perfect my ability to engage with strange and often angry female fans of Bravo in 140 characters or less…
The comments that Brooks has been tweeting in the last week have many speculating whether he is still filling Vicki's love tank with daily affirmations. The couple has met with a firestorm of criticism from fans, friends, and family alike, although both have put forth a united front. However, maybe the major lack of support from family is finally wearing on the pair. Vicki's daughter Briana Culberson has made no secret about her disdain for Brooks, who she believes in a con man. Likewise, her husband Ryan isn't Brooks' biggest fan. You all recall that Ryan called Brooks a "manipulative POS" last week on the social networking site.
Last night was the first ever Dance Moms reunion, with the show's executive producer Jeff Collins mediating the crazy. I really couldn't be more excited that Lifetime jumped on this bandwagon. Let the insanity fly! It's a two parter as well, which is always nice!
Abby Lee Miller faces off with the Kelly, Christi, Holly, and Melissa. Jeff is admittedly nervous, and I can't say I blame him after he shows an "everyone's replaceable" montage followed by some highlights of lighthearted moments interspersed with Abby threatening the moms. Why do I love this show so much? It is truly amazing, and we're only two minutes into the episode.
Jeff questions the ladies about Abby's teaching style. Christi believes that Abby is harsh with some students while being overly kind to others. Holly, an educator for over twenty years, believes that Abby's direct message is usually on target, but her delivery is off base. Melissa, of course, sings Abby's praises. Abby thinks that the mothers have too much time on their hands. Dance moms of years past weren't as privileged and didn't have the luxury of leaving their jobs to hang out in the studio. Plus, Abby believes that kids these days get a trophy for just being born…and I couldn't agree more.
Stop the presses and pour me a Skinnygirl margarita! On second thought, don't…I prefer my cocktails to taste good and go straight to my hips.
I have some wonderful news that will excite the masses. Whether you're a diehard Bethenneedy fan, a Bethennybody-else-but-her hater, or a passive and neutral Frankel, my dear, I don't give a damn, you are going to like what I have to say! Well, that third group probably couldn't care less, but the others–oh, the others!–will be thrilled! P.S. I'm working on a trademark for my newly coined phrases, so use at your own risk. TM, Ms. Frankel, TM! 😉
Anyhoo, can you guess who this post is about? Anyone? Real Housewives of New York veteran and purveyor of Hoppylicious spin-offs and diet liquor concoctions Bethenny Frankel made an announcement earlier Monday on her website. The post was aptly titled "My Big Announcement." You have to give her credit, Bethenny always has been a straight shooter!
Last night's Basketball Wives L.A. resumed with Jackie Christie crashing Gloria Govan's tasting party at Malaysia Pargo's request. As none of the other women had seen Jackie since the reunion (presumably), they were waiting with baited breath for an apology or an explanation…heck, even just a sentence at this point! Draya Michele is shocked when Jackie just fixes a plate, grabs a cocktail, and sits down silently at the table. The queen has arrived!
Malaysia makes a toast to explain Jackie's attendance, and both Gloria and Laura Govan have some catty things to get off of their chests. Jackie is trying to maintain her cool as her buttons are being pushed left and right. Draya says that Jackie is going to work very hard to regain any kind of trust. Poor newbie Brooke Bailey just introduces herself. Jackie begins her apology about being defensive, but Draya and Laura think she is totally lacking sincerity. I'd have to agree.
So, the Real Housewives of Miami are back, and this season they have apparently been informed that they are actually part of the housewives franchise and not some random reality show that is formatted around cooking parties. Baby steps.
While four new women join the fray, the "veterans" are out numbered…unless you count Mama Elsa twice, and, let's face it, she is so awesome she deserves the extra credit. Her daughter, Marysol Patton, appears to maintain her status as the voice of reason, although sadly she's missing one hot, foreign, much younger husband. What a difference a year makes! However, regardless of what is going on in Marysol's personal life, she still seems to have a stable head on her shoulders. It's a wonder she was even chosen by Bravo given her propensity to avoid drama. Who am I kidding? She totally got this gig because Andy Cohen wanted Elsa. End of story.
Bless your heart, American Idol. Bless it. In the wake of much more original and exciting talent reality shows, AI is desperately trying to stayremain once again become relevant. After unveiling the new judges, tabloids immediately began speculating about a giant feud brewing between the original diva Mariah Carey and raspy rapper extraordinaire Nicki Minaj. Here's what I know to be true: Starships were meant to fly, Glitter will always be a horrible movie, and such obvious PR stunts can be spotted from a mile away.
I mean, yes, if you told me that Mariah Carey would be totally horrid to work with and she has a need to always be the HBIC (head b*tch in charge, duh), I would totally believe you. If you also informed me that Nicki Minaj had an ego the size of her booty and annoyed everyone in her path, I certainly wouldn't call you a liar. However, the whole situation is just too perfect. The show needs publicity. Shoving Keith Urban in America's face wasn't enough to create a giant buzz, so let's say these two talented, strong-willed, and notoriously diva-licious ladies can't stand one another. Nice try.
As a lover of fashion, bad television, and all things post-Simple Life Nicole Richie, you would think I'd be all over NBC's Fashion Star. However, I am not. I just couldn't get into it to save my life…and this is coming from someone who plans to dress as Austin Scarlett from Project Runway for Halloween this year. To be fair, there are only so many hours in a day, so much space on my DVR, and, in addition to ridiculous amount of reality television I watch both for blogging and pleasure (it's fab too when those overlap!), I am also addicted Law and Order: SVU, HIMYM, and Happy Endings. It's A LOT of television.
I'm going to give it another chance though this season, and here's why: Elle Macpherson, the show's creator and former host has chosen Louise Roe to replace her, and I think it's an interesting change-up for the series. Not that I don't like Elle (she had a great work-out video back in the late '90s), but she's just not made for hosting. Sure, she's drop-dead gorgeous, but did you see her on Friends? It's like watching paint dry. Louise Roe has the fashion knowledge AND the hosting chops…not to mention she's just obscure enough to be intriguing.
Who am I kidding? Jessica Simpson is still on the show, and she hasn't been relevant since she divorced Nick Lachey. I doubt I need to point out what a sad state of affairs it is when an ex-boy bander from a boy band on the fringe of legitimate boy bands makes one relevant, but I digress. How did Fashion Star even get picked up for a sophomore season?