I can't. I just can't. The Real Housewives of Orange County may be the original housewives (although most aren't, in fact, wives), but sometimes they are also the most ridiculous. Let's take Gretchen Rossi, for example. She's not a wife–and with Slade Smiley as her beau she may never be one–but, like her counterparts, she loves to talk about whatever it takes to keep her in the spotlight.
For example, last week, Gretchen was yapping about how former best friend/current nemesis Alexis Bellinocopied her hairstyle…because that's news. This week, Gretchen is sharing with us her workout routine while applauding herself for overcoming bulimia. Wait…didn't Alexis say she struggled with bulimia growing up when the ladies took a quick trip to Texas during season six? Who is the copycat now, Gretch?
Uh oh. Things continue to get worse for Chad Ochocinco Johnson. It seems that his prior bad behavior could possibly be used against him, and if so, he may be facing some jail time for head butting soon to be ex-wife Evelyn Lozada. Chad's violent past is coming back to haunt him.
While he's lost his wife (obviously), Miami Dolphins contract, reality show, and endorsement deals, Chad could also be facing some serious jail time. How serious? He could be sentenced to a year in prison!
The craziness of the Bachelor Pad never fails to disappoint. While the resident good girl from Boring Gray Flannel McGee's season seems to have found love with the baggage hating (unless its Louis Vuitton) bad guy, it makes me wonder, do opposites really attract?
According to sources the answer is no. The very tan sweetheart Lindzi Cox has been seen canoodling with resident playboy bad guy Kalon McMahon, but did they outlast the insanity of the Bachelor Pad's third season?
Oh Countess. What a tangled web we weave…The etiquette queen of was caught up in a scandal on the most recent episode of her Housewives franchise. LuAnn De Lesseps, who is dating Ross GellarJacques Azoulay seemed to be straying to a more Johnny Depp-esque pirate beau when the Manhattannite women were vacationing in St. Barths.
While her cast mates wondered who she'd come home with after a night on the town, LuAnn found herself in a fistful of Italian lies after she fibbed about who came home with her after a night of partying on the island. The truth will set you free, LeAnn…or at least, it won't make it look like you're hooking up with a pirate while your French boyfriend waits in New York to give you a new baby. Oh the scandal!
It's been a rough couple of days for Real Houswives of Orange County'sTamra Barney. The outspoken Bravolebrity is in the hospital recovering from emergency surgery. Very scary! What she suspected was ulcer pain turned out to be a very problematic hernia.
Before calling 9-1-1, Tamra took to Twitter to share her pain, tweeting, "Sh*t here we go again, think its time to see a doctor? Severe pain in upper stomach after drinking coffee. Ulcer maybe?" Thankfully the ambulance came before she could fire off any more tweets.
Basketball Wives'Evelyn Lozada just can't catch a break, can she? First, she gets head butted by her God awful husband Chad Ochocinco Johnson when the pair had barely been married a month, said headbutting leads to divorce and the cancellation of her spin-off Ev & Ocho. Add to that all the classy ladies Chad was seeing in addition to his wife, and it's been a pretty cruddy couple of weeks for the reality television star.
Well, they say when it rains it pours. Now it seems that Evelyn's first scheduled post-abuse incident interview isn't going as planned either. Not only that, one of Chad's best friends is coming to his defense and blaming Evelyn for the head butt heard 'round the world. Do what?
I just kan't kontemplate Kim Kardashian's antics anymore. Will she ever just give it a rest? Who am I kidding? We all know the answer to that question. Kim's newest attention-grabbing ploy involves her posting twitter pics of herself (of course) trying on a wedding dress. I know what you're thinking…isn't she still technically married to Kris Humphries? Um, yes. Yes she is. I am sure she hopes that this will have tongues wagging about a potential wedding to Kanye West. As if I care…I think they are a perfect couple! They will have to get a pretty big house though…just to fit both of their egos!
While the dress is a beautiful Emilio Pucci creation, is it wise for Kim to be rushing down the aisle again so soon. Her last marriage only lasted seventy-two days–it probably took her longer than that to open all the gifts! Kim posted the photo last night with the cryptic caption “Late night fitting #pucci” presumably to get her followers talking. Bless her heart.
Good gravy, these Housewives never quit, do they? I swear, if someone were filming the drama in my life, it would be almost as ridiculous. "Blogger forgot to put her trash out tonight…and she's messy! Will she be able to make it without requesting another city rolling garbage can for the street? Or will she be forced to live with the stench for yet another week? Tune in to find out what happens." I mean, seriously?
Tonight, we've got news from the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Well duh. At least one of them is always doing something, aren't they? This news may actually be a bit tame. Thank goodness for small favors, right?