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You’re all sitting on pins and needles, I’m sure, knowing you are mere days away from Kimmie Kardashian’s ultimate season finale nuptials to beau Kris Humphries. This is just a thought, but perhaps she could do a crossover onto next season’s Basketball Wives!

So is Kimmie bridezilla-ing it up as the countdown draws to a close? Not in the least! Yeah, right. She’s just relaxed and enjoying the days leading up to her lavish wedding. Her mom A source No, her actual mom this time, tells People, “She’s very calm. It’s just her personality. She knows what she wants and she’s very focused on the day and is just enjoying the process.”

Kris Jenner is thrilled that her daughter has found “the one.” She continues, “She’s doing great, and I think that any mom just feels happy when their child finds the person they want to be with for the rest of their lives.” And with the rest of their lives starting this weekend, Kris is hoping that more grandchildren will be in the momager’s not so distant future, joking, “And they better not be stingy!”

With the sure to be over the top wedding taking place on Saturday, we will no doubt be inundated with pictures and video of the big day. Hollywoodlife has confirmed that the coveted exclusive wedding photos will go to People Magazine…for a mere $500,000. It was earlier speculated that the magazine was shelling out a cool million for the spread. Discount! Another no-brainer? The wedding will be next week’s cover story.

A source reveals, “She has a great relationship with the magazine, she and her sisters have done their other life milestones with the magazines, and it’s the most credible and legitimate of all the weeklies. Plus, People has the money to spend on these photos. Not to mention it has millions more readers than the other celeb weeklies. It’s not at all a surprise it’ll be People’s cover.”

ARE YOU EXCITED FOR KIMMIE’S WEDDING? WILL YOU BE BUYING NEXT WEEK’S ISSUE OF PEOPLE? HOW LONG DO YOU THINK THIS WILL LAST?


On last night’s Teen Mom, dare I say, most of the cast displayed more-mature-than normal behavior. Granted, it’s on a skewed scale. Amber and Gary acting half as mature as Catelynn and Tyler is a milestone, while Maci and Kyle playing house doesn’t score as high on the scale as Farrah making peace with her mother while teaching Sophia more about her deceased father.

Kyle is still looking for a job, and while Maci finds that fact helpful when it comes to raising Bentley, it’s a huge distraction when it comes to doing her schoolwork. She is having a difficult time juggling potty training, being a faux housewife, and getting her homework finished.

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It’s reunion time for the ladies of Basketball Wives with the first part of the drama (if you can call it that) airing last night. Former NBA star John Salley is back to regulate host the ladies as they reminisce about the third season.

Tami’s wig hair combined with Shaunie’s dress distracts me at first, but a clip of Royce blasting the ladies on last season’s reunion brings me back up to speed. When questioned about the new attitude she found last season, Royce explains she is just being herself. And the real Royce wears Larry Byrd tube socks, not Gucci shoes, to go luxury car shopping. Royce calls out Jen for claiming Jen’s makeover of Royce was her “good deed for the day.” Not one to be one-upped in passive aggression, Jen says, “I don’t hear anyone talking. What’s the next question?”

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Patti Stanger, Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker, is back in Los Angeles as the fifth season of her show premieres this evening.

Out of the goodness of her heart and not at all to promote the new season, Patti is taking it upon herself to dole out advice to one of the most high profile celebrities who is embarking on a new relationship. Are you listening Jennifer Aniston ? Because she’s talking to you about your romance with Justin Theroux!

In a new interview with Radaronline, Patti discusses the new beau of everyone’s favorite Friend. She says of Jen’s new man, “I kind of like him, but here’s my problem — he was with the last girl for 15 or 16 years and one day in walks the girl of his dreams and he says bye, see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya! There’s a karmic payback for that. He’s handsome and he likes her and she likes him, they’ve got good body language, so it’s a matter of what really went down that he jumped ship from this girl he lived with for 16 years, something’s not right there.”

Patti believes that things are moving too quickly for Aniston and Theroux. Stating her own professional opinion, Patti explains that it’s odd that Jennifer Aniston would jump so quickly into a relationship with a man who left his significant other for her. After all, Brad Pitt was a huge bad guy when he left his famous wife for the much younger and mysterious Angelina Jolie. Patti reminds us, “She b*tched about Angelina stealing Brad from her!”

According to many media outlets, the next step in the couple’s whirlwind romance is to start a family, and Patti agrees that we’ll be hearing something along those lines very soon. She admits, “I feel like [Jen] might pull the pregnancy card on him.” Patti continues, “Maybe she has, she isn’t as skinny as she used to be, she’s looking great, and she’s glowing.”

Clearly Jennifer Aniston isn’t playing by Patti’s rules, and something tells me we won’t be seeing Jen as a celebrity guest wanting Patti’s advice on the upcoming Millionaire Matchmaker season. Of course, I don’t know why…shouldn’t America’s sweetheart want relationship advice from a single 50-year-old woman who just last year broke off her own engagement? Sign her up–and me too, while we’re at it!

Patti didn’t end things there as she also dished out some relationship advice to the single gals on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!

When it comes to the newly divorced Camille Grammer, Patti states: “Camille: I would love to see her with a guy who’s an entrepreneur off the carpet…I’d like to see like a Silicon Valley billionaire — somebody who really appreciates her brain.”

And what about Taylor Armstrong, who’s only been single for a matter of weeks? “Taylor needs to take a dating detox break,” Patti assesses. “I knew for years what was going on and it’s a really rough road. Abuse is abuse. She needs to clean herself up. Get rid of the negative vibration. Find out who Taylor is before she steps off the curb with anybody else.”

Millionaire Matchmaker season 5 premieres tonight on Bravo at 9pm ET. A preview clip of tonight’s episode is below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT PATTI’S COMMENTARY ON JENNIFER ANISTON’S RELATIONSHIP? WILL YOU BE WATCHING THE NEW SEASON?

So, it looks like Dancing with the Stars is trying to incorporate actual stars this go-round, after multiple seasons of over-exposed reality show personalities and Bachelor/Bachelorette cast-offs.

Although the producers have to use a few reality fillers, like Kim K’s younger brother Rob Kardashian, TMZ is reporting that some actual celebrities will be competing in the upcoming season. Rapper, actress, and make-up spokesmodel Queen Latifah will be joining the growing cast, as well as Blue Collar’s Kelly Kapowski Tiffani Thiessen. Thiessen’s rep is, of course, denying this rumor…but isn’t that what they all do?

Also confirmed for the new season and a chance at the disco ball trophy is everyone’s favorite Oompa loompa, Snooki from Jersey Shore. Her rep as well had previously said the pickle lover would be a no-go. No word yet on whether she’ll be dancing in her furry Chewbacca boots or beaten up bunny slippers.

THOUGHTS ON THE CAST SO FAR? WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ON NEXT SEASON’S DWTS?

UPDATE - According to a new report by UsWeekly, Queen Latifah is NOT signed on to do the show. A rep for the actress states she is not doing the show while an insider adds that “there were never any talks” between the network and Queen Latifah. Yikes. Did TMZ get it wrong? Only time will tell.

Last night’s Jersey Shore was everything it should be and more. Oh so much more. There was a lot of cursing, a lot of falling, and a lot of inappropriate sausage references. Viva Italia and God bless the Shore.

Episode two of the new season, starts off where else? In the clerb. With the roommates watching, Deena lays one on Pauly D, and there is way more tongue than I need to see. She eats off his bottom lip and reveals her plans to have him as a cuddle buddy that night in hopes of gaining his Italian sausage later in the trip. Is it weird that when that time finally comes, I hope Pauly D comes bounding into the smush room singing “Saus-sege is heeya!” A girl can dream, right? Snooki, on the other hand, isn’t liking the Situation she’s in…you know, the one where the Situation keeps groping her.

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After the explosive, and cocktail-soaked, season finale of Basketball Wives, Jennifer Williams sits down with Hollywoodlife.com to discuss Eric Williams’ behavior and frememy Royce Reed. She also dishes on her friendship with Evelyn Lozada and her post-divorce outlook.

As for getting smacked in the face with a wave of alcohol by her soon to be ex-husband, Jen was understandably shocked. “To be honest, I know that I threw the glass [first], but I didn’t throw it intentionally to hit him. I felt like when he came back, and he threw the drink, I was like, ‘Wow!’ It was so aggressive and so forceful. It was like, ‘Wow, did he really just do that?’ It was just a confirmation that I was doing the right thing — getting a divorce.” She even reveals that the glass hit her in the chin. While I must agree that Eric was extremely aggressive, I don’t think anyone throws a drink not intending to hit their target. I’m not sure I’m buying that she wasn’t trying to soak him.

Although the pair hasn’t spoken since the incident, Eric did attempt a lame apology via text message. Jen says, “He texted me a few days after he threw the drink and he apologized. But then he said, ‘I heard you found someone.’ That was definitely not the person I married, or maybe it was and it was hidden all that time. To me that just goes to show that you can know someone and never really know them.”

Jen did get to let loose on Eric in a different way at her divorce party. Not only did she have him beheaded on her cake, she also got to whack a pinata mini-me of her ex. Of the paper mache smack down, Jen admits, “It definitely felt good. It felt good to be with my friends and celebrate independence. Although I’m not officially divorced, I know that I’m moving in that direction.” Jen also wants the viewers to know that the make-out session they witnessed between her and William was as far as things went. “We didn’t use the Magnums,” she confesses, adding that William did not go home with her that evening.

Not only did her marriage not survive this season, her friendship with cast mate Royce Reed ended as well after the pair had a blow-up over Royce’s contact with Eric. Does Jen think the two will ever be able to reconcile? That would be a resounding “No.” Jen says, “I don’t really have anything to say to Royce. I feel like she’s very immature and I already tried to explain [that] to her one time. I don’t think she’s going to get it, so I’m done. I’m not going to make you anymore relevant. I’m done.”

Jen also discusses her friendship with Evelyn Lozada. Even after their drama this season, she always knew that they would be okay. Jen states, “You go through ups and downs in your relationships.” She continues, “We fight, we argue, we move on. It wasn’t a big deal where I didn’t think we could move past it.” Regarding her friend’s upcoming marriage to Chad Ochocinco, Jen advises, “When you get married, you just really have to be on the same page with the person. Trust and communication is key.”

Jen also credits the show for helping her deal with some of her own issues. She admits, “It was difficult at times, but I don’t live with regrets. I’m glad it happened that way because who knows — if I wasn’t forced to talk about these things, I may still be in that miserable situation.” And while Jen is ready to move on from her rocky marriage to Eric, don’t expect her to dive into a new relationship right away. She says,“I’m looking for a guy that can make me laugh, we have a good time. Right now, I definitely don’t want anything serious. I’m focusing on me.”

A quick trip to Eric’s twitter page to see his comments on the incident made me realize he’s even harder to understand when he’s writing then when he’s actually speaking. Most of his tweets are too offensive to repeat here, but he did take a lot of joy in retweeting “Splash!” after several followers watched the drink toss. In regard to Jen, he tweeted, “Chick Can’t Stand alone wit out Me!! Trash my Name! Even try to Defame Thy Name! But She Sure as Hell using Me 4 a Story line! LOL. The BS!” along with some Biblical references about him using the drink to cast out her demons. And wow.

On last night’s episode of Teen Mom, Farrah gets dogged, Maci gets busted, Catelynn gets counseled, and Amber, as always, gets mad.

Catelynn and Tyler are getting settled into their new jobs, and the Catelynn is looking forward to a retreat where she can connect with other young women who have chosen adoption for their children. The couple feels guilty for not having as much contact with Carlie’s adoptive parents.

Farrah is checking her grades, and while her GPA isn’t what she’d hoped, it’s still sufficient for her to graduate from culinary school. Farrah tells daughter Sophia that she wants to celebrate with a puppy. Sophia giggles and continues to suck on her pacifier…that means she’s on board with a new dog. Farrah takes Sophia to play with the little puppies and heads home with a tiny black dog. I’m sure her mom is going to be thrilled.

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