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Patti Stanger, Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker, is back in Los Angeles as the fifth season of her show premieres this evening.

Out of the goodness of her heart and not at all to promote the new season, Patti is taking it upon herself to dole out advice to one of the most high profile celebrities who is embarking on a new relationship. Are you listening Jennifer Aniston ? Because she’s talking to you about your romance with Justin Theroux!

In a new interview with Radaronline, Patti discusses the new beau of everyone’s favorite Friend. She says of Jen’s new man, “I kind of like him, but here’s my problem — he was with the last girl for 15 or 16 years and one day in walks the girl of his dreams and he says bye, see ya, wouldn’t want to be ya! There’s a karmic payback for that. He’s handsome and he likes her and she likes him, they’ve got good body language, so it’s a matter of what really went down that he jumped ship from this girl he lived with for 16 years, something’s not right there.”

Patti believes that things are moving too quickly for Aniston and Theroux. Stating her own professional opinion, Patti explains that it’s odd that Jennifer Aniston would jump so quickly into a relationship with a man who left his significant other for her. After all, Brad Pitt was a huge bad guy when he left his famous wife for the much younger and mysterious Angelina Jolie. Patti reminds us, “She b*tched about Angelina stealing Brad from her!”

According to many media outlets, the next step in the couple’s whirlwind romance is to start a family, and Patti agrees that we’ll be hearing something along those lines very soon. She admits, “I feel like [Jen] might pull the pregnancy card on him.” Patti continues, “Maybe she has, she isn’t as skinny as she used to be, she’s looking great, and she’s glowing.”

Clearly Jennifer Aniston isn’t playing by Patti’s rules, and something tells me we won’t be seeing Jen as a celebrity guest wanting Patti’s advice on the upcoming Millionaire Matchmaker season. Of course, I don’t know why…shouldn’t America’s sweetheart want relationship advice from a single 50-year-old woman who just last year broke off her own engagement? Sign her up–and me too, while we’re at it!

Patti didn’t end things there as she also dished out some relationship advice to the single gals on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!

When it comes to the newly divorced Camille Grammer, Patti states: “Camille: I would love to see her with a guy who’s an entrepreneur off the carpet…I’d like to see like a Silicon Valley billionaire — somebody who really appreciates her brain.”

And what about Taylor Armstrong, who’s only been single for a matter of weeks? “Taylor needs to take a dating detox break,” Patti assesses. “I knew for years what was going on and it’s a really rough road. Abuse is abuse. She needs to clean herself up. Get rid of the negative vibration. Find out who Taylor is before she steps off the curb with anybody else.”

Millionaire Matchmaker season 5 premieres tonight on Bravo at 9pm ET. A preview clip of tonight’s episode is below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT PATTI’S COMMENTARY ON JENNIFER ANISTON’S RELATIONSHIP? WILL YOU BE WATCHING THE NEW SEASON?

So, it looks like Dancing with the Stars is trying to incorporate actual stars this go-round, after multiple seasons of over-exposed reality show personalities and Bachelor/Bachelorette cast-offs.

Although the producers have to use a few reality fillers, like Kim K’s younger brother Rob Kardashian, TMZ is reporting that some actual celebrities will be competing in the upcoming season. Rapper, actress, and make-up spokesmodel Queen Latifah will be joining the growing cast, as well as Blue Collar’s Kelly Kapowski Tiffani Thiessen. Thiessen’s rep is, of course, denying this rumor…but isn’t that what they all do?

Also confirmed for the new season and a chance at the disco ball trophy is everyone’s favorite Oompa loompa, Snooki from Jersey Shore. Her rep as well had previously said the pickle lover would be a no-go. No word yet on whether she’ll be dancing in her furry Chewbacca boots or beaten up bunny slippers.

THOUGHTS ON THE CAST SO FAR? WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ON NEXT SEASON’S DWTS?

UPDATE - According to a new report by UsWeekly, Queen Latifah is NOT signed on to do the show. A rep for the actress states she is not doing the show while an insider adds that “there were never any talks” between the network and Queen Latifah. Yikes. Did TMZ get it wrong? Only time will tell.

Last night’s Jersey Shore was everything it should be and more. Oh so much more. There was a lot of cursing, a lot of falling, and a lot of inappropriate sausage references. Viva Italia and God bless the Shore.

Episode two of the new season, starts off where else? In the clerb. With the roommates watching, Deena lays one on Pauly D, and there is way more tongue than I need to see. She eats off his bottom lip and reveals her plans to have him as a cuddle buddy that night in hopes of gaining his Italian sausage later in the trip. Is it weird that when that time finally comes, I hope Pauly D comes bounding into the smush room singing “Saus-sege is heeya!” A girl can dream, right? Snooki, on the other hand, isn’t liking the Situation she’s in…you know, the one where the Situation keeps groping her.

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After the explosive, and cocktail-soaked, season finale of Basketball Wives, Jennifer Williams sits down with Hollywoodlife.com to discuss Eric Williams’ behavior and frememy Royce Reed. She also dishes on her friendship with Evelyn Lozada and her post-divorce outlook.

As for getting smacked in the face with a wave of alcohol by her soon to be ex-husband, Jen was understandably shocked. “To be honest, I know that I threw the glass [first], but I didn’t throw it intentionally to hit him. I felt like when he came back, and he threw the drink, I was like, ‘Wow!’ It was so aggressive and so forceful. It was like, ‘Wow, did he really just do that?’ It was just a confirmation that I was doing the right thing — getting a divorce.” She even reveals that the glass hit her in the chin. While I must agree that Eric was extremely aggressive, I don’t think anyone throws a drink not intending to hit their target. I’m not sure I’m buying that she wasn’t trying to soak him.

Although the pair hasn’t spoken since the incident, Eric did attempt a lame apology via text message. Jen says, “He texted me a few days after he threw the drink and he apologized. But then he said, ‘I heard you found someone.’ That was definitely not the person I married, or maybe it was and it was hidden all that time. To me that just goes to show that you can know someone and never really know them.”

Jen did get to let loose on Eric in a different way at her divorce party. Not only did she have him beheaded on her cake, she also got to whack a pinata mini-me of her ex. Of the paper mache smack down, Jen admits, “It definitely felt good. It felt good to be with my friends and celebrate independence. Although I’m not officially divorced, I know that I’m moving in that direction.” Jen also wants the viewers to know that the make-out session they witnessed between her and William was as far as things went. “We didn’t use the Magnums,” she confesses, adding that William did not go home with her that evening.

Not only did her marriage not survive this season, her friendship with cast mate Royce Reed ended as well after the pair had a blow-up over Royce’s contact with Eric. Does Jen think the two will ever be able to reconcile? That would be a resounding “No.” Jen says, “I don’t really have anything to say to Royce. I feel like she’s very immature and I already tried to explain [that] to her one time. I don’t think she’s going to get it, so I’m done. I’m not going to make you anymore relevant. I’m done.”

Jen also discusses her friendship with Evelyn Lozada. Even after their drama this season, she always knew that they would be okay. Jen states, “You go through ups and downs in your relationships.” She continues, “We fight, we argue, we move on. It wasn’t a big deal where I didn’t think we could move past it.” Regarding her friend’s upcoming marriage to Chad Ochocinco, Jen advises, “When you get married, you just really have to be on the same page with the person. Trust and communication is key.”

Jen also credits the show for helping her deal with some of her own issues. She admits, “It was difficult at times, but I don’t live with regrets. I’m glad it happened that way because who knows — if I wasn’t forced to talk about these things, I may still be in that miserable situation.” And while Jen is ready to move on from her rocky marriage to Eric, don’t expect her to dive into a new relationship right away. She says,“I’m looking for a guy that can make me laugh, we have a good time. Right now, I definitely don’t want anything serious. I’m focusing on me.”

A quick trip to Eric’s twitter page to see his comments on the incident made me realize he’s even harder to understand when he’s writing then when he’s actually speaking. Most of his tweets are too offensive to repeat here, but he did take a lot of joy in retweeting “Splash!” after several followers watched the drink toss. In regard to Jen, he tweeted, “Chick Can’t Stand alone wit out Me!! Trash my Name! Even try to Defame Thy Name! But She Sure as Hell using Me 4 a Story line! LOL. The BS!” along with some Biblical references about him using the drink to cast out her demons. And wow.

On last night’s episode of Teen Mom, Farrah gets dogged, Maci gets busted, Catelynn gets counseled, and Amber, as always, gets mad.

Catelynn and Tyler are getting settled into their new jobs, and the Catelynn is looking forward to a retreat where she can connect with other young women who have chosen adoption for their children. The couple feels guilty for not having as much contact with Carlie’s adoptive parents.

Farrah is checking her grades, and while her GPA isn’t what she’d hoped, it’s still sufficient for her to graduate from culinary school. Farrah tells daughter Sophia that she wants to celebrate with a puppy. Sophia giggles and continues to suck on her pacifier…that means she’s on board with a new dog. Farrah takes Sophia to play with the little puppies and heads home with a tiny black dog. I’m sure her mom is going to be thrilled.

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It’s the drink toss heard round the world on last night’s season finale of Basketball Wives. Poor Tamra Barney has nothing on Eric Williams when it comes to dousing someone with a cocktail. Last night’s episode mainly featured Jen’s divorce party, with the majority of the women playing supporting roles.

Royce arrives for her meeting to clear the air with Jen, and chaperone Suzie informs her that Jen has left already, unable to forgive Royce for the twitter battles she’s been waging. Royce loves that Jen can dish it, but she can’t take it. According to Royce, her mean tweets (are you there Simon? It’s me, Royce.) are just in response to the other girls smack talk. She begins reading some of Jen’s hypocritical twittersations to Suzie who is trying super hard to look busy with her appetizer. Suzie is this close to being in good with the other ladies…the last thing she needs is for Royce to remind her that she is still friends with her. Royce is indifferent to Jen’s opinion of her.

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Top Chef does it, Real World and Road Rules do it, Big Brother does it, Survivor LOVES to do it, and Project Runway is doing it next season. What am I talking about? All-Star shows, of course!

Nothing screams ratings more than bringing back the craziest, most controversial, and in some cases most talented, cast members from seasons past of any given show. America’s Next Top Model is jumping on that bandwagon with Cycle 17, ANTM All-Stars, premiering next month.

Fourteen of the wildest, loudest, and strongest personalities from cycles past are coming together to compete for the title that has previously eluded them. This season’s prizes include an Express modeling campaign, a fashion spread in Italian Vogue, a stint as a guest correspondent on Extra, and the staple Cover Girl contract.

Expect to see Kristin Cavallari, LaToya Jackson, Tyson Beckford, Nicki Minaj, The Game, Ashlee Simpson, and Kathy Griffin as guest judges…just to name a few. As always, the challenges are sure to be outrageous with stiff competition among the ladies.

ANTM All-Stars premieres on the CW on Wednesday, September 14th at 9pm ET, and as always, Tyra Banks will be front and center teaching these up-and-coming models how to pose and tell a story with their eyes…fierce!

Get reacquainted with the models of Cycle 17 below!

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Ding! Ding! Ding! It’s round two hundred for Real Housewives of New York frenemies Jill Zarin and Ramona Singer.

Season four of the show has finished airing, capped off by three hours worth of hateful and hostile reunion footage. While these two ladies are schooled in the art of cat fighting, especially with each other, things got even more heated during the reunion when Ramona’s love affair with Pinot Grigio was addressed. In the aftermath of both ladies’ allegations of alcoholism, the women continue to speak about their feelings. And speak about their feelings. And speak about their feelings.

In an interview with People, Jill says she was hoping to help her friend (sure, we all buy that) by accusing Ramona of having a problem. “During the reunion, [Ramona was] hitting below the belt. I tried to be a friend to Ramona. And I thought that she was acting a little bit erratic, more so than before. I was trying to help her and point it out. A lot of times people who have problems don’t see it themselves. That’s why there are interventions … I really wanted to try to help her. And instead she tried to turn it around on me.” Cue the violins.

Jill is, of course, referring to the fact that Ramona called her out for being an alcoholic and going to AA. Jill contends, “Whether it is true or not, is irrelevant.” She reiterates that she went to the meeting with a friend to show support, but is appalled that Ramona would out anyone for attending something that is supposed to be anonymous for a reason.

Jill hopes that Ramona’s irresponsible statements won’t deter others from getting help through Alcoholics Anonymous. Ironically enough, Jill has since seen an example of her worries on the subject. A fan of Jill’s has reached out to her. Jill reveals, “The mother tells me the daughter is scared to go in the program because she’s worried that a friend of hers might out her. It’s destructive to people and the damage that [Ramona] caused is going to prevent people from getting help.”

As for Ramona, she stated in her Bravo blog that she was embarrassed by the reunion show. “To say I was embarrassed by everyone’s behavior on the reunion, including my own, would be an understatement,” wrote Ramona. “Who would ever think that we are a group of educated, sophisticated, polished, New York women? This was not evident in what I watched. The reunion was mostly negative energy. I, myself, made a few comments that I am not proud of.”

Jill however wants Ramona to make things right. Jill asserts, “She should really retract that and try to figure out how to go back out there and say, ‘I’m sorry.’ So will this deter Jill from famewhoring filming another season of the show? She admits, “The damage is done. I don’t know if I can film with these girls.”

She may not have to, if recasting reports are true (oh please let them be true!). According to the Huffington Post, season five of New York is scheduled to begin filming around Labor Day, meaning that cast members must be secured ASAP. An unidentified Bravo housewife reveals, “No one knows at the moment who is in or out, but the second the contracts go to our representatives we all email and call each other immediately. So if someone does not get a letter we know within hours. All the cast will now be glued to their iPhones as they wait for the call from Bravo on whether they are being invited back.”

Another housewife chimes in, adding, “What’s happened with other casts in the franchise is offers go out to the women they want and those [they] don’t do not hear a word. Technically no one gets fired they are just not invited back.” Sounds a lot like sorority rush…no wonder the ladies seem so catty!

If the show is recast, the bigger question is whether it will be able to hold the viewers’ attention. Former fans seem turned off by the ladies’ negativity and mean girls mentalities. Ratings for the show took a nosedive from the first half of the reunion to the second half, plummeting from 2,325,000 viewers to 1,781,000 in a mere week. Numbers don’t lie…and that can’t be good.

And finally, Bravo’s own Andy Cohen posted the following cryptic message on his facebook page yesterday morning: “Thank you for all your comments on the reunion and the future of RHNYC. Consider yourselves heard loud and clear. There is work to be done!!!” Wonder what that means?

Photo by: Brad Barket/Bravo

ARE YOU ON JILL OR RAMONA’S SIDE REGARDING THE AA DEBACLE? WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE RECAST? MORE IMPORTANTLY, ARE YOU EVEN STILL WATCHING???

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