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Dance Moms Maddie

Abby Lee Miller, whatever are we going to do with you? Last night’s Dance Moms was the Brynn show with the talented newbie pitted against Abby’s favorite, the unbeatable Maddie. Is she Maddie 2.0? After being absent last week so that her mother could tend to her diabetic brother, Brynn returns with mother Ashley to the ALDC. Jill predicts Abby had to have been incredibly persuasive to woo them to Pittsburgh.

At pyramid, Nia is on the bottom for not placing in her solo. JoJo follows with Abby citing an actual improvement–JoJo didn’t stand out in the group routine, she conformed…and nicely at that! MacKenzie rounds out the lowest tier with praise for comprehending choreography so well. MackZ is all smiles, but it’s clear from Melissa’s face that she expected a higher ranking. Kendall is in third overall for an exceptional solo. It’s Kendall’s birthday, and Abby warns that a birthday means that she’s back competing against Maddie. Perhaps she should have stayed eleven forever. Maddie is in second, and if you thought Melissa was peeved about MacKenzie’s spot on the pyramid, it wasn’t anything compared to her sour face at this news! Kalani finally makes the top spot for winning the teen solo division as well as being the highest scoring soloist of the day. 

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kandi burruss

I think it’s safe to say that no one is safe from rumors, backstabbing, or shade throwing on this season of Real Housewives of Atlanta! Cynthia Bailey has been gossiping about Phaedra Parks’ alleged Mr.C chocolate cravings, and Phaedra is stirring the pot regarding Kandi Burruss’ loyalties. Phaedra has been venting to Porsha Williams about how she feels her friend is siding with Apollo because of his friendship with Kandi’s husband Todd. As for Kenya Moore, she’s just waving her Krayonce flag and twirling with delight not to be the this season’s main target, while NeNe Leakes channels her inner cruise director…on a boat ride straight into the heart of darkness! 

Kandi, like her counterparts, seems to suffer from the innate inability to be able to dish it, but not so much take it. In the RHOA realm, “it” refers to any combination of whispers, scandals, and busy body chit-chat where the only applicable rule is “talk with me about anyone but don’t talk with anyone about me.” Sixth grade social rules in their most basic form, for sure! 

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love hip hop chrissy rich jhonni

Last night’s Love & Hip Hop once again took a turn for the ratchet. We preheat with women falling all over men who don’t give two flips about them, mix in some horrific wig courtesy of Chrissy Monroe, and serve with a half-baked brawl at some random nightclub. Later, rinse, repeat!

Not surprisingly, Yandy Smith is still livid about Mendeecees’ false claim that their son was in the emergency room just to get her to answer the phone. That’s normal, right? She’s catching up with Kimbella (welcome back!) who I would never have recognized, and she shares that she has barely spoken to Mendeecees in the last week because she’s so mad. Kimbella is shocked to hear about Mendeecees’ stunt and Yandy’s subsequent fight with his assistant. However, Kimbella wonders if Mendeecees may have felt disrespected. Perhaps he’s owed an apology? Like Yandy, I am perplexed by Kimbella’s take on the situation.

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Sean Stewart out jogging in Beverly Hills

Look out Osbournes! Keep on keepin’ on, Kardashians! A new family is hoping to take over as the resident ridiculously rich crew which combines elements of both Ozzy’s crazy clan with a musical patriarch and the Kardashian model of being famous for absolutely nothing redeeming.

That’s right, kiddos! Rod Stewart and his bunch are getting their own reality show! The Maggie Mae and Forever Young singer has had quite the career which has spanned decades and resulted in countless hits. His adult children are almost as famous. Son Sean is no stranger to reality television having appeared on the short lived Sons of Hollywood followed by a stint of Celebrity Rehab. He’s even attracted to reality stars having a much hyped May-December romance with former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Adrienne Maloof. I’m still surprised those two didn’t last.

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Scott Disick

All hail Lord Douche-ick Disick! It’s hard being royalty, especially when the United States’ version of royalty is over-paid, under-educated, over-exposed reality personalities who are famous because someone who is related to someone they once or thrice procreated with was tee-tee’d on (I’m old and Southern, sue me for not being cruder..in this instance at least!) for a multi-gajillion dollar sex tape. Such are the conundrums of Scott Disick.

Sure, the reality star is NOW famous (for lack of a better word) in his own right. He’s got three kids with family kash kow Kim Kardashian’s sister Kourtney, and the pair have a slew of spin-offs under their over-priced (but kind of classless) belts. But let’s be honest, Scott’s infamy is a product of his entitled behavior and penchant for booze and pills (allegedly). Plus, he’s a Lord, y’all, and he does what Lords do, like shattering mirrors in drunken rages, hating on his girlfriend’s family (warranted, so he’ll get a pass), and shoving dollar bills into the mouths of waiters who fail to cater to his every gross whim. Klassy!

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dean sheremet

When I think of the Brandi Glanville, Eddie Cibrian, LeAnn Rimes love triangle, I often forget it wasn’t a triangle at all…it was a square (or a pentagon if you count the time that Scheana Marie likely over-lapped). With Brandi and LeAnn rehashing every torrid back-and-forth regarding bonus moms and suing Twitter followers on social media while Eddie eyes the next best thing, it’s easy to overlook the quiet doting husband of the one time country super star.

Until now, that is! Sure, you know the name Dean Sheremet. You no doubt remember when the young dancer wed an even younger music phenom. You probably also recall that when said phenom tried her hand at a Lifetime movie (hey, it worked for Tori Spelling for a bit!) and began an illicit affair with her married co-star, Dean remained mum. Even in their divorce, Dean had little to say about his wife of eight years and her behavior. Let’s be honest, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi was likely spewing enough hate for the both of them!

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kim richards

Accomplished actors have to be complete chameleons in order to to suspend reality for the audience and portray their characters. We don’t watch Rosemund Pike pretending to be Amy Dunne in Gone Girl….we are drawn into watching the craziness that is Amy unfold on our screens. To be honest, it was hard to come up with that analogy…one, while I am not opposed to a Ben Affleck full-frontal, I have yet to see Gone Girl (couldn’t put down the book though!), and two, all the Oscar nominated performances I watched this season were stories about real people, not characters. I didn’t want to sound trite or callous by comparing an actor to the true person he or she portrayed.  So a Rosemund Pike/Gone Girl example it is! It’s a tough job, y’all.

Why am I even talking about actors and their craft? Well, because of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, of course! Actors must become storytellers, and I sometimes forget that Kim Richards, before she was the mess we see on Bravo, was quite the actress. I so wanted to be her on Escape to Witch Mountain, and I’m not ashamed to say that I own the entire Magnum, PI series on DVD. Kim is an actor and a storyteller, and she told one doozie of a story on this week’s RHOBH!

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Phaedra Parks

So Phaedra Parks is a bit less, um, genteel this season, wouldn’t you say? Don’t get me wrong, she’s still wants to seem like a refined Southern Belle, but her words are more Mad Dog 20/20 even if her voice is as smooth as a mint julep. Come to think of it, most Southern ladies (myself included) can be that way, so maybe she’s right on point!

I do know, however, that the Real Housewives of Atlanta star’s next career path should be that of a tree farmer. Phaedra is all about the shade this season! Granted she’s been through a lot with the Apollo drama, but I think she may just be coming a bit more out of her shell! Ooh how she came at Kenya Moore on this week’s episode, and Krayonce wasn’t even wielding a bullhorn!

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