Congratulations are in order for Maddie Brush and the rest of her Sister Wives family! Maddie, who wed Caleb Brush in June after showcasing their engagement on the show, is pregnant with the couple’s first child and due in May of next year. It will be the first grandchild for Kody Brown and his second wife Janelle, with Robyn, Meri, and Christine as bonus grandmothers…not to mention a gaggle of aunts and uncles of all ages–seventeen and counting so far!
The timing couldn’t be more perfect with the latest season of Sister Wivespremiering this Sunday. If Kody can’t keep procreating, his older children can carry the torch (and perhaps the story lines) for the show. Now if only he can find a predecessor for those aging follicles…and a guarantee TLC will foot the bill for a multitude of future weddings!
Last night’s Don’t Be Tardy showcased a stressful time in the Zolciak-Biermann household. Teen angst was at an all time high. Kim and Kroy didn’t see eye-to-eye. Red solo cups were flung around with reckless abandon, and the phrase of all phrases was born (and continues to echo through my brain). Thank you, Bravo. Just thank you.
The episode begins with Kim and crew heading to an Atlanta studio. Kim has used Instagram to set up a dance lesson for Brielle, ChefTracey, and Shun. Everyone is wearing sexy heels, but poor Tracey is having a very hard time with her footwear. The lesson for today is some stripper dancing, and Kim is ecstatic that she can finally hang out with Brielle as besties and not just in the mother-daughter capacity. Not to mention, Kim loves some gyrating!
Is it bad that I’ve decided that yet another hour long Dance Moms episode means that something is right with the world? Perhaps that was Steven Collins’ plan all along with that slew of ninety minute ridiculousness! Either that, or I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Thirty Year Old Grandma!
On last night’s show, the veteran mothers made good on their threat to look elsewhere for training, and Abby Lee Miller threw yet another tantrum. It was pretty amazing, to be honest. In light of Abby’s legal woes and mounting erratic behavior, the women decide to rent out their own studio. The elite team is ecstatic, and Kira gifts the girls with a new team jacket. She’s enlisted a rival dance instructor and famed choreographer given the girls will be performing at a competition with the ALDC minis. Kalani Hilliker is thrilled to be working with Erin, and the entire team seems to have a renewed confidence. An added bonus? No pyramid!
Last night’s Don’t Be Tardy incorporated so many of our favorite reality shows into a single episode: Top Chef inspired dishes, a RuPaul’s Drag Race inspired game of bingo, and the language heard on any given installment of Mob Wives. It was pretty amazing.
We begin with Access Hollywood’s Anthony, who introduces Brielle Biermann to Liz Hernandez, and she is beyond impressed by the fact Liz interviewed Oprah–the world’s most famous interviewer becomes interviewee! As Liz inquires about Brielle’s education, Brielle dodges questions about college. Liz tells Kim’s mini-me that she got her start at a college internship. Not shockingly, this revelation doesn’t send Brielle into an application frenzy.
All of these women are ridiculous, in my opinion. I’d call them high school mean girls, but I think seventh grade girls are even meaner. Maybe that’s a better comparison. Each clique is so concerned with accusing the other of same exact things both are doing. I want to scream, “You’re all talking shiz! You’re all horrible friends! You all need a stylist who knows the meaning of the term ‘age appropriate’!” They’d do better just walking around holding a mirror up to one another because they are all the same: gossipy, insecure, hateful, and, of course, constantly the victim. Duh.
On last night’s episode of Don’t Be Tardy, Kim Zolciak Biermann had to brave the mean streets of Los Angeles without the protection of chef Tracey husband Kroy Biermann. Of course, life of a wannabe momager isn’t always easy, and if she’s going to help skyrocket her twin Brielle and foul mouthed KJ into super stardom. Who do you think would win in a cage match between Kim and Kris Jenner?
The episode begins with Kim complaining about how often Tracey prepares fettuccine alfredo. Sure, Kim loves pasta and eats it everyday, but Kroy deserves something fancier in the kitchen. Tracey would love to get to use her actual culinary skills, but (shocker!), her talent is lost on the Biermanns. She admits that when she started cooking for the family, she made everything from scratch with fresh ingredients, but gave up when it became obvious that they preferred canned crap. Tracey cites being the Biermanns’ cook has been the most difficult experience of her career…and she was on Top Chef. Kroy insists he’s a foodie, although he’s never heard of exotic foods such as flank steak and tomatoes. Tracey promises to wow them with an upscale menu when they return from Los Angeles. They are taking Brielle to meet with Access Hollywood and have arranged for two huge casting agencies to fight over who will reap the benefits of KJ’s future celebrity.
Thank you, Lifetime! My prayers have been answered. Last night’sDance Moms episode was only an hour long. Finally! I never thought this day would come! We are back to some semblance of structure. Abby Lee Miller is actually present for the pyramid! If that’s not enough, Jill Vertes gets to throw out her favorite word–favoritism–regarding the minis. It’s status quo once again!
In case you missed the first fifteen hours of this season, Jill is sick and tired of the mini team taking Abby’s attention away from Kendall and the elite team. However, she’s the loudest to cheer when Abby announces yet again that the minis’ latest group routine garnered the most points. In fact, it’s Holly Frazier who is first to challenge Abby regarding the drama surrounding last week’s competition. Kira happily joins in and Jill quickly stops cheering and starts chastising. Stacey, the only mini mom whose name I’ve chosen to learn, is very vocal about how horrible the veteran moms are. Lather, rinse, repeat, week after week, season after season.
There’s a certain polygamist we all know who seems to take the same stance on reality show exposure as he does his wives. The more the Meri-ier (insert cringe-worthy groan here)! Don’t even act like you’re surprised!
Sure, I’m excited to learn that TLC has renewed Sister Wives for yet another season. I’m a red-blooded woman, so that means I adore Kody Brown and his hair follicles just as much as any other gal. Sheesh, it was hard to type that and keep a straight face. All joking aside, get ready to have yet another reason to be thankful…Kody and his four wives are returning on Sunday, November 27th at 8 PM to TLC. In tow are their 18 collective children (18 and maybe counting? Robyn certainly looks “glowing” in the promo picture).