Southern Charm New Orleans is proving itself to be a Bravo contender. The combination of beautiful people stirring the pot has always been a winner, but throw in some voodoo and a level of self-absorption that defies the norm, and I’m certainly going to watch.
After the explosive end to Reagan Charleston’s jewelry launch, Tamica Lee, Reagan, and outlying friend Rachel are brunching at Nicelle’s home. In the French Quarter, Barry Smith is stewing in his bad judgment and the slur he spouted during his screaming match with Jon Moody’s friend. He’s lunching with Justin Reese and Tamica’s brother while rehashing the night. When he tells his friends what he said, Justin is floored. You can’t say that word unless you’re British and asking a cigarette or you’re looking for a bundle of sticks. Barry recognizes it was wrong, but the guy still continued to get in his face even after apologizing. Justin still can’t wrap his head around it. To him, it’s the equivalent of a white person using the n-word. A derogatory slur is a derogatory slur.
Southern Charm New Orleans is already far and away more entertaining than its Savannah counterpart. It’s got meltdowns, it’s got marriage drama, it’s got second line…and it’s got hella abs and very attractive, albeit messy, people. Isn’t that the recipe for great reality television? Last night’s episode is no exception. Jon Moody’s painting party is being blown to bits by Tamica Lee and Reagan Charleston. Justin Reese is thrilled he isn’t a husband yet. Tamica is screaming at Jon, Reagan is screaming at Jeff Charleston and Jeff is trying to defend the party in its purest form. It was just for painting! Tamica ushers out husband Barry Smith who calmly tells her she is behaving irrationally. She insists her beef isn’t with him, it’s with the host and asks how he would feel if the tables were turned. I’m guessing he wouldn’t mind if his wife was at a party where he wasn’t in attendance, but he keeps his mouth shut because he’s clearly not stupid…unlike the Charlestons.
The drunk duo is trading slurred insults. Reagan is pissed that Jeff never answered her calls, but he swears he didn’t have any missed calls to her because of poor service. Check his call log for Pete’s sake! Realizing he’d left his phone and his jacket at Jon’s the pair turns around to retrieve it. Reagan swears she’s simply concerned because her husband never drinks this much, and she worries he’s been hit too many time in the head due to his stint in the NFL. She also warns him not to get the wet paint from his attempt at nudes all over his nice jacket. What a stupid painting. The Picasso of NoLa is insulted. He’s hanging the masterpiece in their bedroom. As if! Reagan slams the painting into her husband, coating his jacket. She whines a nasally apology while promising to clean it. Jeff counters that she’s never cleaned anything in her life, and I believe him. He’ll be the one cleaning his jacket. She works and puts him down, and it’s sad. He screams that he isn’t the wounded concussion bird that she wants him to be. He’s just upset because his wife is being a giant beatch.
I cannot tell a lie. Southern Charm has been one of my guilty pleasures since it first premiered, but the past few seasons have been far too dark and depressing…like Bravo was exploiting some serious issues of people with young children simply for entertainment value–oh wait. But I couldn’t let myself think such harsh thoughts about the mother ship, so I focused on the background, a city I love with all of my heart. That said, with a Kathryn Dennis comeback (who knew I’d ever be excited about that?) and a return to friendships that existed long before the cameras arrived, this season is very refreshing. Throw in a cringe-worthy Thomas Ravenel and Craig Conover’s Singer, and it’s ratings gold.
Cameran Eubanks is trying to induce labor while reveling in her shower gift from Patricia Altschul, butler Michael on loaner. The South’s Mr. Belvedere is helping her organize gadgets while sweetly prodding her to make her own baby food…or rather have her chef or her chef’s assistant whip up some organic goodies for her little one. It is the way of the well-to-do, after all. Cameran retorts that she’s far from high society–she’ll be getting canned jarred Gerber BOGO, a-thank you very much. She may not need the finer things, but she won’t shrug off a foot massage from the man behind the caftan. Let’s be honest, I wouldn’t either. There’s something about that Williams-Sonoma apron…
Oh Southern Charm New Orleans, we are back and ready for some drama. Last night’s episode did not disappoint, and I think the guys are much needed comic relief while the women fly off the handle in feeble attempts to whip their husbands into shape. I actually kind of like this show!
Tamica Lee and husband Barry Smith are cleaning up after their dinner party, and he finds the priestess’ incense to burn to increase their intimacy. Barry wonders how all of their friends know about their lack of sex life. Tamica plays dumb…she has no clue how that subject came up during the meal. She certainly isn’t sharing their lack of pillow talk with her friends. Outside of the city, Reagan and Jeff Charleston are walking their dogs, and Reagan wants her giant house in the suburbs as well as a pied-a-terre in the French Quarter. Jeff isn’t yet privy to the news that he won’t be joining his bride during stints in the city. Reagan is in her second year of law school, but she wants a flexible schedule so she can run her multiple businesses. #CraigLife Jeff is willing to support Reagan in any endeavor since she had his back when he was in the throes of his NFL career.
I’m not sure what Southern Charm is attempting with its new introduction, but it does seamlessly help transition from one episode to the other. We’re still treated to the Charmers starting their day, but if I’m being completely honest, I could have done without a certain aging Lothario slothing around in his bathrobe and making googley eyes at his latest contender for child bride.
Thomas Ravenel and new lady Ashley are cuddling in bed as he praises her for having a “real woman’s heart”…whatever that means. Across town, Patricia Altschul calls Cameran Eubanks to discuss a co-ed baby shower. Pat and Cam bond over uncomfortable pregnancies, Cameran promises to provide a guest list. Patricia interrupts to say that since she’s hosting, she’ll compile the guest list. At Kathryn Dennis’ new apartment, the young mom is playing with Kensie and Saint. Only getting her kids every other weekend, Kathryn focuses on spending all of her time bonding with her toddlers. Kensie is an attentive big sister, ordering Saint around like it’s her job, and it will be for the rest of her life. My younger brother would say the same!
Well guys, Bravo is trying once again to franchise one of its fan favorites with Southern Charm New Orleans. Did Andy Cohen learn nothing from that Savannah debacle? Whatever. One of the gentlemen from the latest endeavor describes his town as “boobs, beads, and booze,” so there’s that. To say my hopes aren’t high is a bit of an understatement, but I’m willing to give it a go!
Tamica Lee heads to work as morning show anchor. She’s quick to remind us that her father played for the Saints and she’s quite the benefactress. Tamica is married to Barry Smith, who she asserts isn’t nearly as fun as she is. Barry claims to be Mr. Mom. He’s all about driving his kids around town to school and activities. JeffandReagan Charleston are married and are the parents to several dogs. Jeff is a former NFL player and Reagan takes a lot of pride of being New Orleans born and raised, with her ancestors basically founding the city (according to her). They are hosting Tamica and Barry at their home. It’s huge. There is a giant foyer that boasts three stories of stairwells. Reagan and Tamica are like sisters, which just means they fight all the time and are extremely competitive. Tamica and Barry are moving into a new house, but Tamica doesn’t want to talk about it with her pal…basically because of that whole competitive piece. Clearly these people already know the golden rule in reality television…keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Last night’s Southern Charm invited us to sit down with our favorite man children and the girls who love to hate them…and sometimes hate to love them. All poor Shep Rose wants is to celebrate his thirty-eighth birthday, but Naomie Olindo and Danni Baird have other plans. Kathryn Dennis manages to keep her cool despite Thomas Ravenel flaunting new arm candy in her heavily made up face. It’s the south’s version of the dinner party from hell, minus the e-cigarette and psychic.
At Shep’s house, Craig Conover is lording over raw meat as T-Rav and his new lady bitch about Kathryn and joke about Ashley becoming T-Rav’s new bride and his children’s new mom. Classy. The charmers arrive at the party with Cameran Eubanks waddling up with in her finest maternity wear that showcases her adorable bump. Ashley tries to butter up the mini-matriarch by asking if she’s only five months along in her pregnancy…as if she doesn’t stalk her on social media. Cameran questions Craig about how he feels seeing Naomie, and he’s nervous. In the Uber with the girls, Naomie admits she feels the same way. Likewise, Austen Kroll and Chelsea Meissner are awaiting their own uneasy encounters. T-Rav jokes that J.D. calls this gal crew the “break-up bunch.” The ladies are all about supporting each other while tearing down their narcissistic Peter Pan counterparts.
It. Is. Here. I feel like it’s been an eternity since Southern Charm graced us with its presence. Having moved away from Charleston in January, I’m sure it will make me a tad homesick to watch, but that’s okay because the salacious drama and ridiculous debauchery will make it all better. Hell, I didn’t even get sad when I saw that Jax Taylor, Kristen Doute, and Brittany Cartwright were partying LAST NIGHT with Shepard “Shep” Rose and Chelsea Meissner at a bar two blocks from my old stomping ground. It’s a magical place for sure…and this show can’t taint it even with all of its absurdity. Plus, did we mention no Landon??
So it begins like every other season…with a bang up fight that we won’t see fully until the end. This time our sneak peek into the future surrounds a Christmas party at the Hibernian that went south (literally) really quickly as Kathryn Dennis cusses out Thomas Ravenel’s flavor of the month who in turn calls Kathryn an egg donor. Ouch. But three months earlier, everything is a bit sunnier in my favorite place. Cameran Eubanks is close to giving birth with her first child, a little girl. It’s been an uncomplicated pregnancy up until the last several weeks, but Shep knows how to entice his friend out of bed with some Chick-fil-A. Works every time. What doesn’t work? Shep’s relationship that culminated on his spin-off Relationshep. His twenty-three-year-old paramour went to bed at eleven. That’s way too early for Shep. His whirlwind romance lasted all of five days in New York City. Alas, Shep is ready to move on and celebrate his thirty-eighth birthday. Priorities.