Kids do the darnedest things, don’t they? They grow up so fast, and if their parents are lucky, they’ll be excited to take over tasks that have become mundane to adults. Brandi Glanville is banking on this with her two sons (and let’s be honest, “bonus mom” LeAnn Rimes likely is too). She’s already got her boys trying new things that they no doubt find to be super cool when the rest of us are way over it…like pumping gas.
I remember being fifteen and having my dad show me how to pump gas because I was clueless. At the time, the lesson was much more exciting than the one about changing a flat tire or checking the oil…both of which I had to sit through (and master) before I was given the keys. However, the formerReal Housewives of Beverly Hills star is going all out, allowing her twelve-year-old son to be responsible for filling up her car (this one??) with gas. Of course, I would imagine that with Brandi there is less supervision and more pretending to be Jessica Tandy in a scene from Driving Miss Daisy.
The reunion begins with Joseline responding to her statement on an After Party episode that Mimi was her b*tch as well as Stevie’s. She reveals that the pair had a threesome together. Mimi doesn’t deny it, instead she just claims to be sickened by Joseline. Stevie reiterates his same old tired excuse that he had many foggy nights back in the day. It gets pretty intense as Joseline describes the encounter shared, adding that a lot of begging took place. Mimi clarifies that it wasn’t a threesome by definition. Instead, she and Joseline took turns with Stevie, but they were all present. Momma Dee interrupts to remind everyone that as long as you’re having fun that’s all that matters. Ariane never knew about this dalliance, but she’s proud of her friend for being so adventurous. Wasn’t a sex tape adventurous enough? Everyone claims it was a one time thing, and Joseline apologizes for her treatment of Mimi which Mimi seems to accept it. They agree that Stevie has been the root of their issues. Stevie thinks it’s going to be a great night for him–perhaps a replay that he’ll remember this time?
Danielle Staub was all about creating waves (um, tsunamis?) when she appeared on the early seasons of Real Housewives of New Jersey. I’d venture a guess that she paved the way for all other housewives villains, but Danielle was certainly the original when she went up against the Manzo-Laurita clan. Of course, dare I say she’s having the last laugh as the ladies continue to battle, no longer having her to blame as the scape goat?
The prostitution whore author, singer, and one time lady pond dipper, peaced out from RHONJ to focus on her two daughters, leaving a table-flipping Teresa Giudice in her wake. She’s remained relatively quiet (for an ex-housewife, at least!) over the years, but Danielle is now revealing that her “love and light” philosophy has extended to her romantic life. The one time pot-stirrer has settled into a drama free life with her new fiance Joseph Masalta.
So, a special thanks to Kim Zolciak Biermann, Kroy and crew for a much needed break from Miley Cyrus and the VMAs last night. I know, I know, I didn’t have to watch, but I couldn’t stop…until it was time for Don’t Be Tardy. Gracious pop culture can make me feel so incredibly old! Of course, I feel like I’m watching the reality show a 40-year-old Miley will have with her family as Kim answers their phone to hear four-year-old son cage yelling to open the “f@$%ing gate” so he and the nanny can get into the driveway. Kim scolds her oldest daughters for giving KJ a potty mouth as she jokes that she never swears in front of her young ones. Eye roll.
The family is getting ready for their annual vacation to Destin, Florida, but Kim is hoping for more glamorous locales once the twins get older….like Mexico. Chef Tracey (who loves to say things for shock value to make sure she gets more screen time) warns Kim of the rampant child organ black market in Mexico. Tracey swears she’s not making it up, but Kim quickly changes the subject to something more important…her wigs. How will they best transport her precious wigs to Florida? Shoe boxes is not the way to go…they need seat belts. Kroy suggests a U-Haul for the wigs, but Kim deems that “trashy.”
Admit it…you’ve been wondering where Candy Apples Cathy went on the second half of what had to be the longest season of Dance Moms. Abby Lee Miller’s nemesis was there one episode, and the next she was gone, sending Jeanette to lead her dancers. So what happened? Where in the world is Cathy Nesbitt-Stein?
While pettiness and meltdowns and ugliness unfolded on the fifth season of Dance Moms, the reason for Cathy’s absence is anything but dramatic. She claims she was simply too busy with her actual studio to participate, especially with the show relocating to Los Angeles. Of course, we all know she loves to rile up Abby, so I’m guessing she’s not gone for good…and Cathy admits that she’d love to be a part of season 6. A sixth season. I knew it was happening, but it’s like a punch in the stomach every time I’m reminded of it!
Mona Scott-Young certainly knows what we like–reality drama so scripted it becomes hilarious entertainment! Of course, it’s even better if that drama is created by two certain members of the Love & Hip Hop family. Y’all know to whom I’m referring! Prayers have been answered.
The Puerto Rican Princess and Stebbie are getting a spin-off! Because what better way to reward bad behavior than by giving the couple their very own television show? I mean, if we’re being totally honest, they are the runaway stars of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. It’s basically the Stevie J. and Joseline Hernandez show anyway…with a multitude of supporting cast! VH1 has just announced the spin-off, as well as the renewal of K. Michelle: My Life. It’s a good day to be a LHH veteran!
Drama, exciting and new…come aboard, we’re expecting you! Where y’all as excited as I was for the season premiere of Below Deck? Those Captain Lee, Stud of the Sea ads on Bravo have been quite a tease. Thankfully, our wait is over. Bring on crystal blue water, Captain Lee lectures, millionaire antics, and sunny insanity!
Before we get into the recap let’s meet the crew, shall we? Returning this season are a few fan favorites. Adorable bosun Eddie Lucas is back, as is Kate Chastain and her bitchy resting face. Kate’s least favorite stew Amy Johnson returns as well. Of course, it wouldn’t be the show without everyone’s favorite captain! Joining the group are some folks who are sure to bring the crazy. Raquel “Rocky” Dakota is a former competitive diver and surfer who went to culinary school in the hopes of being a yacht chef. Unfortunately, this summer she’s just second stew. She’s also likely to be in a 5150 hold at some point in the near future.
If you’ve been checking Facebook and Instagram for the last two weeks (who hasn’t?), your news feed has likely been flooded with countless pictures of precious children (most holding creative, bedazzled signs sharing teachers’ names and what grade they’re entering that are the envy of a multitude of Pinterest followers!) heading back to school. I’m sure that there are a bevy of you who have posted your own proud pics of kiddos growing up too fast and refusing to let you walk them into their classroom. I’ve enjoyed seeing every last one!
The back to school frenzy has been so intense this year, that the craze isn’t just for pre-K through high school students. I have one friend from college who has jokingly vocalized his disdain for the fad to the point where he has close to a hundred friends who are now tagging him in their back-to-school posts just to add more play to his notifications tab. He has retaliated by posting his 33rd first day of school and returning the favor–all in good fun. Of course, reality stars are getting into the game because, let’s be honest, they always LOVE a reason to hashtag yet another Instagram photo! Shahs of Sunsets’Mercedes “MJ” Javid posted her own variation…and called out haters with less than nice comments. #bts, y’all!