I don’t know about y’all, but I’m still reeling by Mother of the Year Melissa admitting that MacKenzie should have lost to older sister Maddie on last week’sDance Moms. What doozies does she have in store for us this week? And what kind of hateful ridiculousness will Abby Lee Miller emulate as the ALDC goes head-to-head with the West Coast’s equivalent of the Candy Apples? So many questions regarding last night’s episode, so let’s dive right in, shall we?
The episode begins with the girls joking about the previous competition. Of course, MacKenzie has earned her a spot at the top of the pyramid, and Maddie teases that her tap routines never lose, so it’s game on against her sister. All of the dancers agree that Abby won’t be too bitter about the group loss since she can blame it on Michael Jackson’s choreographer. Kendall is on the bottom of the pyramid, and Jill bites her tongue. A shocked JoJo follows, with Abby claiming she is capable of doing better. Nia rounds out the bottom, with Kalani in third on the second rung, and Maddie as runner up for losing to her sister. MacKenzie earned her place in the pyramid’s first place ranking.
Today is a big day for Girls Next Door alum Holly Madison with the release of her tell-all Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny. Hugh Hefner’s ex and the former Holly’s World star has written a memoir detailing her time in the iconic Playboy mansion, as well as her relationship with Hef himself. She’s already piqued the public’s curiosity with tales of Hef offering her drugs and her less than friendly relationship with co-star Kendra Wilkinson.
While Holly stole many hearts as the sweet and ditzy Playmate vying for Hef’s affections (and bed) on Girls Next Door, her book paints a less rosy picture of what went on behind closed doors. Not surprisingly, not everyone (I’m looking at you, Hef!) is on board with her recollections of her Playboy mansion past. As Holly hopes for a successful book toured topped off with a potential movie adaptation, Hef is defending himself against some of her accusations.
Who is at the door? No seriously? Who is Mimi Faust meeting with that she should have been honest with long ago? Last week we were served with a cliffhanger of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta proportions, and I need to know who is on the other side of Mimi’s front door. Unless it’s Stevie J., because that will just be a major let down…and I’m deflated like a popped balloon. Mimi wants to come clean to Stevie? Please. Speaking on her sex tape with Nikko, Mimi admits that it was Nikko’s idea to leak the video for cash. However, Mimi reveals that she knew that Nikko was going to sell the tape and she helped him come up with the story. He even decided to make her the victim. Mimi cries about her horrible decisions, and Stevie reminds her that she doesn’t need to feel sorry for herself. Instead, she needs to go forward making sure they make this right for their daughter’s future. Stevie can’t judge Mimi’s actions as he’s done much worse. Mimi feels as if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. She only hopes everyone else will be as understanding as her ex.
Lil’ Scrappy is meeting with former step-father Ernest. He muses that if he can forgive Ernest for stealing from him, everyone else should follow suit. Ernest wants to prove himself to Momma Dee’s kids, and he shares that he is ready to renew his vows with Dee. Scrappy is shocked by how quickly their relationship is progressing…he figured his fickle mother would want a long engagement in the event she grows bored of Ernest. Whatever makes the pair happy works for Scrap, and he’s more than a little excited to pass off his overbearing mother onto someone else.
There is no love lost between the once happily married couple, and sons Ayden (5) and Dylan (1) are likely going to be stuck in the middle as their parents navigate their contentious relationship…all while Apollo serves an eight year prison sentence for money laundering and check stealing.
Just in time for the new season of Basketball Wives: Los Angeles! I’m thrilled to see that Draya Michele is finally ready to be a wife after several seasons where she wan’t one, but yet continued to star on a show about them.
Of course, Draya has made waves during her time on the franchise spin-off. Her co-stars loved to hate her in her first season, only to buddy up to her when she became a fan favorite. Her past has been dissected, and Draya doesn’t shy away from her controversial role on BBWLA. Without question, she makes that gaggle of ladies much more entertaining! That said, I’m happy she’s settled down and found happiness with new fiance, Orlando Scandrick of the Dallas Cowboys. While the two have had their share of ups-and-downs, they are committed to building a life together.
First, I need to offer my sincerest apologies for missing last week’s Dance Moms premiere recap, but you’ll have to take that up with Mother Nature and her nasty thunderstorms and ridiculously long (and hot and oh so muggy!) power outages. Second, did we really miss much? Abby Lee Miller, true to fashion, flaked on practice and was extra nasty to over compensate for her evident insecurities caused by relocating to Los Angeles. Jill discovered once again that no matter how much bum she kisses, Kendall will never be Abby’s favorite. Basically, Abby was mean, yada yada yada, Nia was discounted, Holly was fuming, Jill was confused as to what exactly she needs to do to cement Kendall in Abby’s good graces, and Maddie was revered. A recap in one paragraph…who knew my wordy self was capable of such a thing?
It’s the second week in LA for the ALDC (this time around, at least), and the moms are still harping on Abby’s erratic behavior. Why anyone is still surprised by her antics is beyond me! The moms are surprised that Abby is in attendance at rehearsal (ehh, she’s “slightly” there), and Abby takes no time building up Maddie and tearing down Nia who doesn’t back down to her teacher. At. All. Go Nia! Of course, Nia ends up on the bottom of the pyramid followed by JoJo for timing errors. Shockingly, Maddie rounds out the bottom rung for not standing out in the group routine. MacKenzie is third for taking direction well, and Kendall is runner up to Kalani’s top spot on the pyramid. Kendall didn’t perform last week, but her video premiered which garnered her a higher spot. Kalani reigns supreme for her exceptional solo. So she forgot a few eight-counts…she improvised like a champ. Jill interrupts to say that a family commitment will keep Kendall from performing this week, but Kendall promises she’ll still be at rehearsals. Abby’s eye rolls say it all.
Last night’s Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was everything. All of Yung Joc’s baby mamas are in some book club hybrid that is simply amazing, and the remaining story lines paled in comparison. Don’t believe me? Let’s begin at the beginning…
Tony is trying to convince Kalenna to invest in a new Atlanta nightclub, but after hearing about Stevie J.’s experience, Kalenna is very skeptical…and she shares as much with the requesting investor. Tony hates that Joseline Hernandez gotten into her head to squash this deal, but let’s be honest, someone needs to be asking the hard questions! He’s frustrated that Kalenna has so many reservations about what he considers to be an amazing deal to dump their entire life savings. Not wanting to further upset her husband, Kalenna caves and agrees to fork over all of their cash. Hey, at least they’re getting paid for this show, right?
Unfortunately, I can’t go back to an easier time when memories of “go-go juice” and “sketti” served in the finest of Cool-Whip containers meant that life was simple, back when one’s only concerns were exposing forklift foot if a water park’s rip-roarin’ slide proved too much for a pedicured ankle sock or whether a scheduling conflict with the local railroad would create a loud, late night train situation. Nope, I can’t hop in my Kuntry Store purchased time machine and unlearn all I now know about the folks of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Thanks June Shannon.
When TLC’s cash cow was at the height of popularity, the line was clearly drawn before those who (like me) found the family’s ridiculous antics equally endearing and disgusting and those who thought the show’s fans were verging on insanity. Sure, the six-year-old beauty queen wannabe Alana Thompson was sassy to the point of rude, but her one-liners were everything. The family was open about their past struggles (June, a grandmother in her mid-thirties has four daughters from various incarcerated men), but who am I to judge? Plus, what’s not to love about Sugar Bear?