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Melissa is pissed at Jacqueline

When it comes to Real Housewives of New Jersey, I’m so used to the craziness and table flipping and rogue fashion shows amped up on faux fur, pleather, white zin, and screaming–it’s actually weird when we get to see the calmer side of things. Am I right? This week’s episode was relatively free of the drama and cattiness these ladies love to spew. What’s that about? We all know a girls’ weekend is when the claws come out for the housewives. Not this one…only Jacqueline Laurita’s paranoia was present, but honestly, we’re all used to it at this point. 

Siggy Flicker deserves a slow clap for the reconciliation I never imagined possible between Jacqueline and Teresa Giudice, and it was certainly refreshing to see more laughing out loud and less lashing out between the frenemies who have been fuming and feuding for ages. Over-under on how long this will last? Carolina Manzo has an idea…

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MILLION DOLLAR LISTING LA -- Season:9 -- Pictured: Madison Hildebrand -- (Photo by: Chris Haston/Bravo)

The Joshes? Obviously one is hilariously precious and the other just got hitched (I’m sure we’ll be privy to the planning of said nuptials). The Brits? They shouldn’t Brexit just yet. However, Joshes and Brits aside, Million Dollar Listing: Los Angeles is welcoming back a familiar face, and I couldn’t be more excited.

Madison Hildebrand, the formerly surfer coiffed, snarkily hot, sometime whiny, dog revering real estate agent, is returning to the Bravo show that gifts us with Robin Leach style California real estate porn. He’s the Malibu Ken of beach front property, and I cannot wait for his homecoming and the new season in general. Let’s be honest, Madison is beyond fabulous, and Josh Flagg is adorably neurotic. Don’t forget Josh Altman‘s ego, which is endearing when he lets down his guard, and the baby faces and beautiful accents of James Harris and David ParnesAdd it all together… and you have got a recipe for reality success!

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Maddie Ziegler On Seventeen Magazine

There are some great things happening this week for the stars (and former stars) of Dance Moms, that’s for sure. Sure, Maddie Ziegler is launching her own clothing line for tweens and her one time teammate and friend Chloe Lukasiak is starring in yet another movie, but Abby Lee Miller’s sentencing on those fraud charges got postponed! Cheers to the ALDC, past and present!

We’ve already devoted time to the latter, so let’s focus on the former, shall we? It’s no secret that the ridiculous talent and genuine friendships shared among the dancers is the draw of the reality series…much more so than the asinine fighting between Abby and their mothers. The girls’ successes should be highlighted in light of all the craziness surrounding the show’s drama. It’s an exciting–and lucrative–time to be a former ALDC competitor!

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dance moms abby

Summer may have ended(ish) in the blink of an eye (seriously, where did it go??), but the season’s anthem still rings true. Justin Timberlake reminds us all just to dance, dance, dance. Maybe we “Can’t Stop the Feeling” but I think those involved in Abby Lee Miller’s legal woes may have misinterpreted the lyrics just a tad. 

The Dance Moms stars’ legal team–along with her prosecutors–clearly misheard JT because for the Lifetime reality star, “ain’t nobody gettin’ sentenced soon, so keep dancing!” It’s unclear if she’ll keep dancing with her show, but she’ll at least avoid any potential jail time a bit longer. I, for one, think the mini team had something to do with this!

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Kelly Dodd blog

So, that new girl, huh? Kelly Dodd has been making quite the splash since showing up on this season of Real Housewives of Orange County. Kelly immediately ruffled the feathers of the majority of the women by befriending and defending the exiled Vicki Gunvalson. Of course, I think we’ve all learned to steer clear of Shannon Beador’s bad side as well. Throw in Tamra Judge stirring the already drama-filled pot, and we’ve got a recipe for disaster that just keeps cooking week after week.

After the most recent shenanigans (I cringed watching, to be honest), Kelly is mortified by her behavior, “In case you are wondering, Jolie did not and will not ever watch last night’s episode. My believing that Shannon set me up and my response to Nina and Jaci’s ‘neutrocious’ (yes, I said that) lies will be revisited at the reunion, so Jolie probably will not be watching that either.”

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mbc amber jim

Another seemingly happy couple thrown in to shock fans and add an ounce of normalcy to this ridiculous (yet oh, so addictive) reality series? Check. Bachelor Nation is aghast, I’m sure! One more fame hungry couple (or three!) that is trying to stay relevant by hitching its wagon to another show? Yes, please. Thanks for introducing us, Real Housewives of New Jersey (and Mob Wives)! A secret, and likely salacious duo (or trio…) tossed in for that added bonus of crazy? Why, of course!

You know at this point, I have to be referring to the upcoming season of Marriage Boot Camp, right? The Bachelor in Paradise newlyweds (and my all-time favorite reality couple), Jade Roper and Tanner Tolbert are on-hand to represent Chris Harrison’s camp, and they are joined by some familiar names that could definitely use the help!

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BBN boots 2

It’s official. I absolutely adore Paul Nassif and Terry Dubrow. On last night’s Botched by Nature, the good doctors head to the Alamo and help a war veteran, all the while enjoying television’s most amazing bromance. In Texas, Rosa is beside herself to meet the men (as I would be!) who want to help her after suffering burns from a lightning strike. After surviving two tours in Iraq, Rosa returned home to be struck during a storm. Her clothes caught fire, she went into cardiac arrest, and she was in a coma for two weeks. That is my biggest fear.

Over twenty-eight percent of Rosa’s body is covered in burns and the underwire in her bra fused into her skin during the incident. She is hopeful that Terry can fix her breasts as well as a shoddy tummy tuck she endured a year after her accident. Unfortunately, Terry and Paul are not able to do much about the scar tissue on her chest, but they can even out her breasts, remove the scar from the bra underwire, and smooth out her stomach. Both men are humbled by Rosa’s service and want to be able to give her something in return. 

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Botched By Nature recap

Who tuned in to watch the premiere of Botched by Nature last night? Did you get teary? Were you lusting after that froyo? Isn’t Terry Dubrow and Paul Nassif’s bromance just the bee’s knees? In case you’d forgotten (I’ll never forget!), I got to interview both gentleman about the show, and I still don’t think I’ve quite recovered from the adorableness of it all! Naturally, I was super excited to get to recap the new season for y’all. So let’s get started, shall we? 

Last night’s episode featured Sabrina and Nate, and had the doctors heading to Vegas (baby!) and California farmland. Their road trip begins in Las Vegas to meet with Sabrina who suffered dramatic weight loss due to an autoimmune disorder. After feeling insure about her flatter chest, Sabrina opted for implants. However, because of her ulcerative colitis (I’m going to be googling how to spell medical terms all season!) which affects her colon and large intestine, the implants were pushed far up her chest into an awkward and painful position. Sabrina is thrilled to meet the doctors, and Terry introduces himself as “Terry Dubrow” to Sabrina and her friends, while Paul is more formal with his “I’m Dr. Nassiff.” 

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