So Sister Wives is serious about this commitment ceremony, not to mention the damn mission statement. I think both are the stupidest things I've heard in a long time (and y'all know the shows I watch!), and I'm tempted just to write one for them and plan the event myself. Once again, Kody Brown leads his wives in Attention Deficeit Disorder as they have only forty-five days until the their party. Their event planner (bless her heart) is used to about twelve months of preparation. Christine wants to make sure that the mission statement is read and signed during the ceremony (shocking), and she wants to plant a tree. Meri doesn't want this to seem like a wedding. Not surprisingly, Janelle is totally tuned out…she's planning her escape. She's also sporting a new dual hair color.
Instead of having their ceremony at an expensive venue, they Browns have decided to put that money into their yards and celebrate at the cul-de-sac compound. Their landscaper is questioned about their polygamist choices. He likes the Browns. He thinks they're nice. He believes in Jesus and he thinks they do as well. However, he can't quite wrap his head around the sin of having multiple wives, and he hopes it won't keep them on the wrong side of the Pearly Gates. Robyn is glad she didn't know his feelings when they were doing business. Meri disagrees…he did a good job, he was kind, and not everyone is going to have the same religious beliefs. Janelle cares about work ethic and good people, not religious affiliation.
It's time for he said/she said courtesy of the Bachelor! After a midnight ocean tryst, this season's Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis started back pedaling–and shaming–his partner in passion. Now Clare Crawley (is she still vying for his attention? I'd have been totally out of there!) is telling her side of the story.
Of course, despite her toast to "making love" and Chris Harrison's hint that the two may have diddled, Clare is setting the record straight. They did not do the deed. Can you imagine the sand in the nether regions? While I'm not sure she's all that convincing, I do think that Juan Pablo handled the situation like a giant bag of skeeze.
Well, I'm totally floored by this news as I'm sure y'all are too, right? It seems that Love & Hip Hop Atlanta isn't just ripe for drama…it's ripe for violence as well. I, for one, just can't believe it!
What do you do when you're a gazillionaire cocktail mogul whose soon-to-be-ex-husband hilariously won't move out of the apartment you share? Well, if you're Bethenny Frankel, you just get a second one so you can have quality time with your douchey new boyfriend daughter.
As Bethenny and Jason Hoppy struggle to come to a settlement agreement, things are getting more and more tense in their abode. I love that Jason is sticking to his guns. Apparently, his parents come to stay almost every weekend, making things all the more cramped, awkward, and humorous!
So, the ladies of Mob Wives are officially my jam. I've always watched. I've always liked it. This season, however, I love it. I want to be friends with Drita and Ang. For real. Are they not fabulous?
Alicia diMichele Garofalo calls Natalie Guercio to share the news that her husband Eddie is getting sentenced that day. Needless to say, she's bugging out over whether the judge will accept Eddie's plea deal. Alicia knows that the media is going to explode with this new development. Natalie is supportive but also worried for her friend. They can't help but fear the worst. On Staten Island, Natalie is meeting with Renee Graziano and air kisses ensue. Well, that's better than throwing brunch foods, right? Renee opens with the fact that their bad blood should end their Mob Candy business relationship. Natalie interrupts to say that she's known that since Renee put her in a headlock and never paid her. Renee is confused that she lost what she thought was the upper hand so quickly. Her eyes are darting all over the place like she's watching a ping pong tournament. The ladies discuss their apologies, but can only agree that Renee's was insincere…Natalie meant every word. Renee doesn't believe that Natalie's apology or her Halloween invitation were genuine. Natalie is able to keep her calm and relay her feelings without looking like a crazy person. Renee should take note. Wait…is she? Renee wonders what she can do to heal their relationship. Renee seems fine until she hears the word "loyalty." I think she may blow a gasket! Renee can barely contain her insane anger before storming out of the restaurant. Dear Natalie, shirts are meant to cover your midriff.
Hey readers! I am about to blow you away with some secret intel from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. You are going to be totally shocked, I'm sure. Here it is…Carlton Gebbia is really not a fan of Kyle Richards. Oh, you already gathered that? We all must be as intuitive as Carlton is! After the witchy blow-up on Monday's episode, Carlton is recapping her showdown with Kyle in her Bravo blog. Lisa Vanderpump always seems to get sucked into these dinner parties, doesn't she?
Carlton begins with her observations about Kyle, writing, "Watching Kyle's talking head as she's constantly rude about Lisa (her friend) only compounds and confirms my feelings towards her. Talk about smiling at one's face and then stabbing them in the back. But I guess that's her M.O. I know I'm not wrong about her, and I definitely know I'm not the only one who feels this."
So, that Juan Pablo Galavis…he's kind of a sex shamer, isn't he? After getting down (and perhaps dirty) after hours with contestant Clare Crawley, who'd received a rose on Monday night's group date, the Bachelorkind of made her (and America) feel icky in the most dramatic awkward shaming in the show's history. Ever.
What's worse? Everyone keeps talking about it…and of course, by everyone, I mean the show's glorious host Chris Harrison and Juan Pablo himself. Seriously, JP just needs to keep quiet for a while. Chris, talk away, my friend!