I'll be honest, I wasn't over the moon (and I don't mean Dr. Moon!) with the premiere of the newest season of Real Housewives of Orange County. Thankfully, there are new ladies to detract from the same old mean girls who have been instigating the same drama year after year. Whoever could I mean? That said, I'm going to go on the record by saying I like Shannon Beador, although that opinion is clearly subject to change…and change back, and then change again. Sure, she's wacky, but she still doesn't have that hardened "I need to act a certain way around the cameras" demeanor…although I'm sure it will come if she sticks around. It always does.
In her inaugural Bravo blog, Shannon sheds some light on her eccentricities, and I find it refreshing. The majority of us didn't have cell phones as tweens (granted, because they didn't exist) and we're still here to tell the tale! Shannon begins, "Hello everyone! It is very exciting to be writing my first blog! I readily admit that I choose to live a lifestyle that is quite different from most people in Orange County and am looking forward to giving you a glimpse into my life! It is surreal to watch real things that have happened played back to you on a TV screen and after watching the first episode of the season, there are things that I am both happy and not so happy with. Let's dive into it!"
I don't know what I more saddened to learn about last night's Dance Moms…that it was ninety minutes long or that that it was the mid-season finale. Seriously, Lifetime? MID-SEASON? This season has been going on since before MacKenzie was born–at least that's how it feels! Of course, we finally got to meet the new team that Abby Lee Miller has been threatening to introduce for decades!
The super-sized episode begins with Abby returning to the studio after the death of her mother. Her dancers share their condolences, and once again, both Maddie and I are in tears. Abby cuts through the emotional moment by forging ahead with the pyramid. Chloe is on the bottom due to her fifth place solo finish, with Nia following. Kalani rounds out the bottom tier for not standing out in group number. Kendall is in the third spot for her second place solo. Maddie is in second, with MacKenzie on the top for balancing dance and her It's a Girl Party video…which, by the way, is available for download on Lifetime. Do people really buy these things?
I think we can all admit that one of the most toxic Bravo franchises is Real Housewives of New Jersey. There is straight up malice and manipulation which seems to eclipse the regular ol' mean girl antics of the other series. That said, I believe that all the women on RHONJ are both guilty of the abhorrent behavior as well as victims of it. Case in point? Jacqueline Laurita. There were so many instances in which I felt sorry for her, yet as the seasons progressed, she became part of the problem.
Of course, when her son Nicolas was diagnosed with autism, Jacqueline's priorities shifted away from the drama, and there were several rumors circulating that she wouldn't return for a sixth season. Her daughter Ashlee recently debunked this gossip, but nothing has been confirmed. Perhaps if she does return, Jacq will use the opportunity to show viewers the woman we first met in season one.
Before we start off with the recap, I'd like to congratulate Cameran Eubanks on her wedding this past weekend. My friend said it was a beautiful event–incredibly classy, but not the least bit pretentious, which is the impression I think we all get from the Southern Charm star. Guests feasted on barbeque and fried chicken while dancing outside at a plantation about an hour outside of Charleston. Cameran's dress was gorgeous, and my friend managed to snap a picture with Whitney Sudler-Smith. She said she didn't want to give Shep Rose the satisfaction of asking. As for Thomas Ravenel? Apparently T-Rav, Kathryn Dennis, and new daughter Kensington are now living in Florida so they were not in attendance. So, I guess he won't be throwing his name in the hat for the Senate race? Thanks for taking one for the team, Florida!
Last night's episode had the gang heading out to Shep's family farm for some hunting and man time. Something tells me these folks shouldn't have access to firearms and Fireball at the same time. The show begins where last week's ended…with Kathryn storming out because T-Rav wouldn't defend her to Craig. J.D., Shep, and Danni are the only guests left, and Shep is dumbfounded that Craig (who is nuttier than a fruitcake in his opinion) would bring such drama to the meal. T-Rav then enlightens us as to the difference between people from the North and those from the South. Southerners will sleep around as much as they damn well please, but they would never talk about it at a dinner party! Danni explains to Thomas that Kathryn is hurt he didn't defend her honor. Luckily for T-Rav (and for anyone driving around South of Broad on the evening in question), a wasted Kathryn doesn't get far as her car has been towed. She sulks back into what's left of the party for more vino.
Admittedly, I haven't been keeping up with the folks of the original Love & Hip Hop like I should, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised to learn that Amina Buddafly is still with Peter Gunz even after the most ratchet and humiliating reunion in the history of VH1. Used pregnancy test, anyone?
You also wouldn't know the couple is still together by Peter's Instagram account as he never posts pictures of his expectant bride. However, Amina posts pictures of the two enough for the both of them (like the one above)…it seems like some things never change!
Kimye is back in France, y'all! Perhaps they are fulfilling their requirements to marry in Paris…which means they'll be there through at least Memorial Day (better you than us, France!). The couple has been out and about with Kim Kardashian channeling her inner Queen Padme Amidala, although I feel like I'm defacing Star Wars by even writing that. Without question, Kanye West is behind this latest Kimmie trend. Those shoulder pads just scream "tiny rapper!" Now that I think about it, maybe Yeezy's penchant for masks is an homage to Darth Vader…
No word on whether baby North West is actually with her parents on this trip, as Kim has been mum on all fifty forms of her favorite social media since last week. If she shows up in her million dollar stroller dressed like Princess Leia, we should all be very concerned.
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With the premiere literally right around the corner, Tamra has been doing press for the show and sharing her opinions on co-stars past and present. Shocking, I know. Apparently her story line is going to revolve around opening CUT Fitness and talks of a baby with new husband Eddie Judge. I guess that's better than strip clubs, right?
I'm no marriage counselor, but I'd imagine the best thing to do in the wake of your husband's very public cheating scandal would be to film a reality show about trying to make your relationship work. Tori Spelling agrees, which is why her latest reality show with husband Dean McDermott focuses on their marital strife.
True Tori premieres April 22nd on Lifetime, and the teaser is extremely dramatic…to put it mildly. Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer my Dean and Tori in heavily-scripted situations involving guncles and bed and breakfast endeavors. This is just too raw…at least that's what I gathered from the thirty second clip!