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sister wives

I know y’all are waiting with baited breath for the new season of Sister Wives to premiere tonight on TLC. You’ve missed Kody Brown’s luscious locks, haven’t you? Admit it! Not to mention, there have been teasers galore about a new lady joining the Brown clan. Whoever could it be? 

Spoiler alert: it’s me! Don’t I wish? I’d love to put Meri’s wet bar to actual use (seriously, why did she need that thing?) and take a crack at writing their family mission statement. Kidding! I wouldn’t last a day in that red clay cul-de-sac compound! So who could this mystery woman be?

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mob wives london rene

And here I was thinking that the women on Mob Wives are scary! Imagine my shock when I learned that Natalie Guercio’s boyfriend London Rene was the victim of a violent crime that left him having to get hundreds of stitches. Truth be told, I was even more surprised that his brutal box cutter slashing incident didn’t happen at the hands of Natalie. She seems like she’d cut a person quick.

According to TMZ, London was attacked outside a Brooklyn nightclub early Sunday morning. The assailant slashed his face, arm, and abdomen, London to have to get over two hundred stitches on his face alone. How horrible! Considering the brutal assault, it appears that London is very lucky. Now, police are trying to catch the assailant. You certainly won’t be super shocked to learn, that in a blonde moment, I mistook that the culprit was a “friend of Rene’s” as in Renee Graziano, when actually, the alleged attacker is (or should I say was) a friend of London Rene’s. I have the flu…can that be my excuse?

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kim kardashian, kanye west, and north at paris fashion week

Do I tip toe over this subject and hold my tongue, or, because it’s about Kim Kardashian, can I just say what I feel? Hmmm…always a conundrum! Fertility is a very delicate issue, and it’s one that Kim has faced on a previous season (alongside sister Khloe) of Keeping up with the Kardashians…right before getting pregnant with North. 

The reality star hasn’t been quiet about her plans to give North a sibling, but so far there hasn’t been any announcement of a little South or East joining the family. Now, sources are reporting that Kim is having problems getting pregnant again. Just in time for a new (recycled?) story line?  Season 10 happens to be filming right now.

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stevie j lhh atl

Stop the bus! We’ve got a lot of Stevie J. news to share. Before I start, I certainly hope that Mona Scott Young has Dr. Drew on speed dial so she can cash in on her Love & Hip Hop Atlanta star’s latest dramz! Celebrity Rehab plus LHH:ATL definitely equals a reality train wreck we’d all tune in to watch. And I’m worried about the future of humanity! ;)

We all know that ol’ Stevie has been battling the feds over a minor child support snafu. Please note that “minor” was supposed to be typed in my special “sarcasm” font. The reality star reportedly owes back support to one the mothers of his children to the tune of over $1 million after neglecting to pay since 2001. His hearing is scheduled for January 9th, but apparently Stevie is hoping to strike a deal. Here’s hoping it happens before he heads to rehab. Yes, you read that correctly!

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love hip hop amina tara peter

I don’t know about y’all, but I think this season of Love & Hip Hop is one of the most authentic and real examples of VH1’s reality show offerings. The Peter Gunz/Amina Buddafly/Tara Wallace love triangle? Totally believable! The relationship between Cisco and Diamond Strawberry? It’s the epitome of true romance! And Chrissy? Talk about the ultimate business woman! Mona, you have truly outdone yourself this time! Last night’s episode reconvenes with Yandy Smith and Mendeecees Harris fixin’ to get hitched in Vegas…except that Yandy just can’t do it. She tearfully explains her desire for a big wedding with family to the officiant, and Mendeecees seconds her assertions as the poor officiant cheerfully nods in the background. I never saw that coming! I truly thought they would be man and wife after last night. Meanwhile, Amina is working on a new album with her sister who is in town from Germany. I feel like the only thing genuine about this show is the talent. You know I’m right! Amina admits that she doesn’t really trust Peter and that he’s not around often. 

Erica Mean and Cyn are starting a business together, but Cyn is more involved with her girlfriend’s Instagram drama with Chrissy. Cyn isn’t buying Erica’s elusive attitude when it comes to why Chrissy is coming for her on social media. Speaking of being elusive, Diamond has finally arrived in New York, but Cisco isn’t quite ready to open his home to his new girlfriend. Instead, he’s found a friend who will let her crash at her place. No worries, though. He’ll be by to visit. That seems reasonable.

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dance moms abby

I guess Santa is bypassing all of us this year. We’ve clearly been naughty.  There can’t possibly be another reason why we’re being subjected to yet another season of Dance Moms…but we are! And I’ll be watching. I’ll consider my punishment for being so bad. However, no matter how naughty we’ve been, we’ll never ever be as horribly rotten as Lifetime’s cash cow Abby Lee Miller. It’s all an act, right? RIGHT??

For four long and tortuous seasons we’ve watched Abby belittle her young dancers while their mother snarked and plotted and forced us to take sides between bad and worse (I’m still not sure which is which!). Now (most of) the old gang returns thanks to their pesky iron clad contracts. Noticeably absent? Christi and Chloe (I don’t any will miss the former, but I’m so sad for the latter) who bid farewell after Abby’s constant bullying caused Chloe’s love for dance to fade…not to mention Abby making fun of her ocular condition. Returning? A very defeated looking Nia and an equally downtrodden Holly, Mack-Z, golden child Maddie and their mom Melissa, as well as Kendall and Jill, who Abby chastises for being a horrible mother more than once in the thirty second teaser. Good times! The twist? Christi and Kelly plotting to take down the ALDC. The show is back on Lifetime Tuesday, January 6th at 9PM/ET. You know I won’t be able to not watch!

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mob wives drita karen natalie fight

Oh, the progression that is Mob Wives! The students have become the teachers. Just a few short seasons ago, some of these women were one bitch slap from an assault charge, and now those same ladies are the voices of reason. That’s growth, y’all! 

As we return to the scene of the rat race, er, girl fight, Karen Gravano is shoulder checking Natalie Guercio into a brick wall. Kudos to Karen for an often under-utilized move! Next year, poor Big Ang will be celebrating the one year anniversary of the time that the bar’s seven year anniversary was one upped by a spandexed Natalie trying to assert her toughness. Bystanders quickly intervene, and Drita D’avanzo likens it to better than cable. Storm wonders why his girlfriend had to go after Natalie after London already admitted (and hugged it out regarding) all of her faults. At home, Drita is excited that things are going so well with Lee. While he still won’t appear on the show, they burn through their cell phone minutes. His girls adore having him home, and he’s happy to play tutor to his two daughters. Lee admits that it’s hard being on the outside, and the pair is working so much that it’s hard to make time together. He urges her to make plans for an upcoming date night.

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kim richards snuggles dog kingsley

Poor Kim Richards. the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star is trying to get her life back on track, but she keeps straddling hurdles, especially when it comes to her beloved pit bull Kingsley. As you know, Kim gave Kingsley away after attacking a friend as well as her niece Alexia. Kim has been heartbroken over the chain of events, and now she’s facing a legal battle from Kay Rozario over the attack. 

This makes me sad on so many levels. It was clear how much Kim and Kingsley loved one another. I have a dog (thankfully one who isn’t easily provoked), and I have been attacked by a friend’s dog (thankfully nothing that a few stitches couldn’t mend), and it’s hard on all sides. I certainly felt for my friend who felt terribly for her dog’s behavior. That said, the dog had a long history of “being protective” to the point of attacking. Also, I hope that people don’t automatically look to the breed for blame. Anyone who has ever had a pit for a pet (I haven’t but would in a heartbeat) know they are, as a whole, some of the sweetest, most loving animals. Okay, I’ll stop Sarah McLaughlin-ing y’all and get down from my soap box. Let’s get an update on that lawsuit, shall we? 

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