When this season of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood is over, I think the cast should tour together on a motivational speaking tour. I’m sure the ladies’ discussions on empowering women and self-esteem would be priceless…and I thought I was bad!
Moniece and her mother are working on their relationship, but Moniece doesn’t want to confront the past. She feels that her mother is judgmental and too hard on her. Her mom believes that Moniece’s priorities are out of line. Her daughter is too preoccupied with men and sex toys to put her son first. Moniece’s rattles off what’s important to her: music, singing, sex toys, Rich, working on her music. Um, what about son Cameron? Moniece tells her mother that she shouldn’t have to say he’s a priority…it’s a given. Her mom isn’t so sure, and she wants to meet Rich Dollaz before he’s allowed to meet her grandson. Moniece agrees, although she’s not aware that her mother plans to give him the third degree.
Is it just me, or does Kim Zolciak Biermann look more plastic with every episode of Don’t Be Tardy. Someone needs to give her a tutorial on that make-up highlighting situation too. I just can’t believe that she still stands firm that she hasn’t had work done. It’s baffling.
Kim is frustrated because the family has made no advances on Brielle’s graduation party. She wants a carnival theme, but Kroy reminds his wife that carnivals are just snow cone machines and dunking booths out in the middle of nowhere. Kim has gotten three quotes from party planners which are all in circling the six figure range, but Kroy has shut down the users. I never noticed that he swears as much (if not more) than Kim.
I feel like Sister Wives is glossing over just how much is involved in adopting children when there is a living parent who hasn’t terminated parental rights, but what do I know? Plus, who can be bothered with legal woes when there is a Pirate Festival complete with a cardboard boat race. Kody Brown and his kids are excited to partake, and the family has to take a class on how to build the boat, and Meri promises to be the biggest cheerleader…from a distance. The crew decides to split into two teams to build two boats. Janelle is leading one group and Kody, Robyn, and Christine are arguing over the other boat. Christine doesn’t understand why Robyn keeps arguing because Kody is going to do whatever he wants regardless.
The Brown kids are excited about the race, but not the process leading up to it. Parents will be yelling, dad’s hair is getting more uncontrollable, and the kids are fighting for more attention. Kody keeps reminding his wives that he is always right, and he has wonderful grand plans that aren’t going to work out given their time constraint. Robyn responds that she’s nothing but a supportive wife, but she likes that Christine has her back with an aggressive Kody. He doesn’t want to lose, and Christine and Robyn are bonding over impersonating their pissy husband. Janelle comes down the cul-de-sac to check out the competition but she quickly retreats when she senses the vibe of Kody tag team fighting with Christine and Robyn. Over on Janelle’s team, the kids are the ones causing s ruckus. No one is enjoying bossy pants Gabe who clearly takes after his old man. I’m starting to think this fun family bonding experience is anything but…
“I’ve got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me; on board, I’m the captain, so climb aboard. We’ll search for tomorrow on every shore.” If you’re not a fan of Styx, I’m not sure we can be friends. However, I’ll cut you some slack if you’re enjoying this season of Below Deckas much as I am!
Tonight’s episode begins with the crew socializing on land, and Emile Kotze is overcome with the feelings for Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow. She’s flirting up a storm, but she’s playing the field with both Emile and new guy Dane who immediately pushes his co-worker’s buttons by making fun of a bracelet gifted to Emile by his sister. Rocky stays a few steps ahead of Emile. He missed his golden ticket on their drunken first (and only) date. Eddie Lucas retires to call his girlfriend while Rocky mixes up some whipped cream to coat Connie Arias’ naked body. Chef Leon Walker is amused, to say the least. In his cabin, Eddie is having the same fight with girlfriend Amy who cheated on him last charter season. Amy Johnson is confused by the whipped cream bikini situation, and when Eddie returns to the main deck, he can’t believe the mess. It’s not a frat party! Kate Chastain is playing the role of silent by-stander as Eddie deposits Connie’s underwear on the floor of her room. Kids these days…what are you going to do?
Finally. Love & Hip Hop Hollywood is following the trend it created by introducing a bunch of peripheral characters in one episode that we’ll struggle to keep up with for the remainder of the season. It’s about time. Last night’s episode begins with Brandi confronting her husband Max in the studio. The trifling hos didn’t know he was married because he’s neglected to wear his wedding ring. Not okay, especially according to this newbie player! She unearths his wedding band from her suitcase size purse and holds it up as proof for the ladies who were draped across her man. Again, it’s the girls fault, not so much his. Max and Ray-J drag the tiny Tasmanian devil out of the studio, but she puts up quite a fight. She screams at Max about how he’d feel if she was out without her wedding ring. HOW WOULD HE FEEL? I’m guessing he wouldn’t care all that much.
Kamiah is still reeling from being deleted from Lil’ Fizz’s menu, and she’s meeting with celebrity blogger Jason Lee who spouts off his Hollywood resume like I order my weekly Bo Jangles. Kamiah recaps the downfall of her relationship with Fizz which started with her moving her stuff into his place and ended with a rock wall break-up. She recalls Fizz’s erectile dysfunction while Jason foams at the mouth. He can’t wait to post this madness! He reminds her that she needs to be focused on a man that can rise to the occasion. Pun intended.
Oh Monica. I don’t know if I’m more disappointed to find out that you’re friends with Kim Zolciak-Biermann or that you are okay being a part of last night’s Don’t Be Tardy. Either way, last night’s episode didn’t grate on my last nerve per the usual, and I truly enjoyed seeing a deeper side to Kim and Brielle’s mother-daughter relationship.
As the family jokes about Brielle’s ever present ditziness, Kroy suggests she check out Hooked on Phonics. Thanks for the tip, Kroy, but Brielle is just fine only speaking the language she knows. She’s not interested in learning a new one. When Kroy tries to explain that phonics isn’t a different language, I can actually see a light bulb turn on above Brielle’s head as she slowly whispers, “Oh Rosetta Stone!” Brielle has a new path and a plan. She wants to be the next Guiliana Rancic. Kim offers up her celebrity friends as practice interviews.
Last night’s Sister Wives gave us a peek into Kody Brown’s relationship with third wife Christine. She admits to being extremely jealous in this lifestyle. You don’t say! I am seeing a new formula this season. The episode last week mainly featured Kody and Janelle, and this week, the focus is his time with Christine. Is TLC trying to convince us he loves his other wives as much as he adores Robyn? Good luck!
Speaking of Robyn, she is frantically searching her home office for her divorce papers in light of the highly anticipated adoption. Kody recaps once again the necessary paperwork shuffle that allowed him to divorce Meri and legally marry Robyn. He reveals they are hoping to file in Montana where Robyn’s ex-husband lives. He hears that Montana judges aren’t prejudiced against polygamist families. Um, okay. Kody and all of the wives converge upon their family law attorney to question whether the paperwork shouldn’t have been filed in Nevada. Robyn shares that her ex-husband has, like, been, like, dodging service. When discussing it in their couch interviews, Robyn suffers a panic attack that halts filming. She seems to get more sympathy from Meri than Robyn. The Browns’ attorney is optimistic that Kody could adopt Robyn’s children within a week if her ex is cooperative.
I guess times aren’t so grand for the kingdom. Momma Dee, the outspoken royal matriarch of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta found herself staying in quarters that weren’t quite fit for a queen after a run-in with the law.
The reality star is the mother of rapper Lil’ Scrappy, and she’s often turning away his love interests at the door to her palace. Only the best for her prince! However, it seems she may have overextended her regal budget after a recent night out in Wisconsin. You’ll recall that Dee wasn’t keen on getting a promissory ring from her ex, now current, husband Ernest at a restaurant known for its chicken wings. Unfortunately, if it’s a higher end establishment, Dee doesn’t want to pay for the service or the amenities.