I know Lisa Vanderpump is busy running Pump, running interference on the SUR staff, arranging flowers at Villa Blanca, and being all around the most fabulous person on the planet to get away with magenta and jade colored satin (only she can!), but I’d like to suggest she teach a class on how to be a Bravo housewife that people want to watch.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star has proven time and time again that she’s classy but not stuffy, snarky without being gross, professional but not rigid, and condescending without being…well, she’s just good at being condescending, and I love it! Many of her counterparts on the other franchises could certainly benefit from her wisdom! This season, she’s distanced herself from drama, but not enough that she can’t passive aggressively comment on it. We’re seeing more of her family time, and she’s just viewing the insanity from a distance. Clearly, she’s gotten her fill of crazy on this season’s Vanderpump Rules! Her take on this week’s episode is no different.
Mona, Mona, Mona. Leave well enough alone! We’re already tired of Chrissy’s wigs and Peter Gunz’ love triangle on Love & Hip Hop, and people are anxiously awaiting the return of the franchise that doesn’t need any additional drama. Love & Hip Hop Atlanta is ratchet on an entirely different level, and regardless of the regurgitated story lines and failed child support payments, it was something the audience revered.
There’s just something about Stevie J’s rat face, Joseline Hernandez’ spandex concoctions, and Lil’ Scrappy’s subtitles that just can’t be duplicated…even though they weren’t the original franchise. Don’t mess with a good thing, Mona. Oh wait…too late.
Hey, remember that time Natalie Guercio and Karen Gravano got into a knock-down-drag-out fight where both ladies ended up with scratched faces and handfuls of hair? Yeah, me too. Do you also remember that time that the always breezy and light-hearted Big Ang became a force to reckoned with among the Mob Wives? No? You must have missed last night’s episode then!
As Natalie and Karen are separated, Drita D’avanzo and Ang wonder why their friends are so insane. Renee Graziano is proud of Karen’s showing. Karen attempts to approach Natalie again, but she’s deterred. Natalie casually puffs on her cigarette before being escorted away. Drita is livid. If there is another altercation, she plans on being in the thick of it. Ang knows that once you talk about family–and draw blood–there is no return. At their New York apartment, London comes home from the gym and questions what happened to Natalie’s face. She rehashes the argument, promising she tried to watch her mouth. However, when Karen lashed out at her, Natalie won. London is fine with his girlfriend fighting as long as she’s defending herself. Natalie believes that she may still have a bond with her once biffle Renee who didn’t assist Karen in the beat down. Natalie, like Karen, can’t wait for round two. There are some things worth going to jail for, as Karen so eloquently puts it.
Hollywood, baby! Last night on Dance Moms, the ALDC finally arrived in Los Angeles so that Abby Lee Miller can start on the next chapter in her star-making career. Of course, things rarely go as planned in reality television, and Abby is livid to get to her new rented dance studio to find another class rehearsing in her space. Jill and Holly find it funny that Abby is so intimidated to learn that other dancers are also present in the city where everyone comes to be entertainers. Abby is quickly on the phone with her attorney speaking about privileged information. Jessalyn and JoJo are also present, feeling that they were kind of invited. As Abby fumes in the parking lot, the mothers enter and introduce themselves to the interlopers. Even Melissa finds her behavior odd. Jill doesn’t get the temper tantrum…why can’t the girls just dance?
We’re treated to some of the other competitive west coast teams, including one led by a choreographer once hired by the dreaded Candy Apples’ Cathy. As the girls warm up, Abby calls the mothers to say she feels uncomfortable practicing in the studio with the other teams. Melissa is beside herself. Abby tries to temper her news that she won’t be attending rehearsals by sharing that she’s scored all of the girls an audition the following day. While that’s all well and good, the moms want to know who is going to prepare their girls for the competition!
Well, well, well. While I didn’t doubt the truth behind the story (court documents don’t lie, y’all!), I am shocked that the Browns have issued a formal statement in response to that little rumor that Koldilocks had quietly divorced first wife Meri Brown to quickly (and equally quietly) legally marry fourth wife Robyn. It’s a Sister Wives twist for sure!
To be honest, I sort of figured that a family who put so much time and effort into “marriages” would frown upon divorce. I know, I know. Both Robyn and Janelle have had failed marriages pre-Kody, but now Meri has a failed marriage with her actual husband. Come to think of it, Christine is the only one who hasn’t been divorced and has never technically been married. Wrap your head around that one, folks!
While Kelly Hyland’s behavior always left a lot be desired when she appeared on Dance Moms, there is no denying how adorable daughters Brooke and Paige were on the Lifetime reality show. Of course, it wasn’t very entertaining watching the girls belittled by the dance teacher who had been in their lives since they were toddlers. Abby Lee Miller certainly had decades old beef with teenage rival Kelly, and she often took out her frustrations for Kelly on the two girls.
Knowing that, it’s no surprise that Kelly was kicked off the show (and arrested) for assaulting Abby (read: flicking her mile high bangs–Abby totally provoked her in my opinion) which was quickly followed with lawsuits from both Kelly and Paige. Thankfully, Paige isn’t making litigation her eighth grade hobby. She’s now a middle school YouTube sensation.
So things seem to be twirling together when it comes to Kenya Moore’s biopic sitcom pilot Life Twirls On. The Real Housewives of Atlanta star is rivaling co-star and nemesis NeNe Leakes when it comes to acting as a quadruple threat. She’s singing, acting, directing, and being Gone with the Wind Fabulous…it’s got to be exhausting!
Back in the fall, Kenya announced that she was directing, producing, and acting in a sitcom pilot that she also wrote. She’s a regular Jerry Seinfeld! I don’t mean that as snark…I find Kenya to be highly entertaining, and if this show gets picked up by a network (no word on that yet), I’ll be watching for sure…and not just because it stars the original Vivian Banks!
My eyes! Last night’s Love & Hip Hop started off with a bang, and I’m almost blinded by booty. Thanks a heap, Mona!
Rich Dollaz is attending a photo shoot to check out up and coming artist Jhonni. What in the world is she wearing? Is Miley Cyrus her stylist? Rich reveals that he has history with Jhonni, and when he stopped hooking up with her, she tweeted out his phone number. He likes ‘em crazy, doesn’t he? Understandably, Rich is weary to work with her, but it’s a favor for a friend. Jhonni apologizes for her little indiscretion, and Rich warns her that he’s gone at the first hint of shenanigans.