Where is Tamron Hall?? Last night’s Sister Wives Tell All was mediated by Andrea Canning, and it was, as it always is….lame. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed reliving the highlights from the season given that this season focused mainly on the older children.
With nary an introduction, the crew jumps immediately into Madison and Caleb’s wedding. A Caleb fan club is formed. The parents are beyond proud and the young couple is revered. Kody Brown’s officiating the ceremony but forgetting the rings is recalled. Robyn and Christine tout their newfound sister wife friendship after an issue with Kody that is never fully explained. When pressed about the argument that solidified the bond, Christine throws out phrases like “super mad” while Robyn nods (a lot). Kody jokes that his wives get upset with him for the most minor of infractions. Do I still have a pulse? I hope so, because I have nearly an hour of watching ahead of me!
Nine times out of ten, I’m going to feel badly for someone facing something so serious, even with the knowledge that the outcome is deserved by the offender. Sure, Stevie J. of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta fame owes millions in child support, but don’t send him to jail–give him another show! Heck, I felt terrible for Teresa Giudice when she got sent up the river, but dare I say how she handled her prison time is one of the classier things the Real Housewives of New Jersey star has ever done. However, I just don’t feel badly for Dance Moms antagonist Abby Lee Miller. Lock her up for a bit. Perhaps she’ll gain a little perspective and humility. Who am I kidding?
Facing sentencing at a hearing tomorrow and another on February 24th (after what seems like a decade’s worth of postponements), Abby’s legal team is scrambling for a hail Mary so the dance studio owner can avoid any jail time. She’s currently facing up to five years in prison and an excess of $5 million in fines thanks to twenty counts of fraud involving her bankruptcy and generally just forgetting to declare some Aussie currency she brought back into the country…chump change, really.
Can we all just agree that game nights and the ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are just a terrible, terrible mix? It’s like tere and prostitution whores or Vicki Gunvalson and boyfriends or Kenya Moore and reality. They just don’t fit well together. Make it stop, Bravo. The charades I can handle…the drama, not so much!
On this week’s RHOBH, the dreaded recurring game night occurred at Kyle Richards’ abode, complete with the newbies and a very healthy looking Kim Richards but sans slut pigs (thankfully). Eileen Davidson used the opportunity to nitpick the accent memory and word choice and panty pranks of Dorit Kemsley, while Lisa Rinna revisited her long-standing feud with Kim. Don’t get me wrong, I am not quite on board with Dorit, but she clearly has no clue how to handle these women. I adored Eileen on Days of Our Lives (especially as Kristen DiMera’s crazy twin Susan), but her pettiness is exhausting. Ditto for Rinna’s hustling and QVC line anger at Kim. At least the even keeled Lisa Vanderpump is here to give us her words of wisdom!
Wonderful readers, please accept my sincerest apology for missing last week’s recap…I was discombobulated with the holidays. You missed what would have been a post rehashing eighty minutes of a certain someone whining more about what she swears was an innocent online relationship turned farce, topped off with four minutes of a not so shocking revelation from one of the Brown children. Last night’s Sister Wives episodes dealt with Mariah’s recent announcement, which unlike her sisters Madison and Mykelti before her, had nothing to do with an engagement. After coming out as a lesbian to Kody Brown and her moms, a huge weight seems to have lifted off of Mariah’s shoulders. Good for her! I would guess that some of Mariah’s behavior and attitude of late has been due to keeping such a big secret. Immediately, Janelle starts laughing–she was so worried Mariah was going to say she was ill. Robyn jumps up in tears of joy.
Both Robyn and Janelle embrace Mariah saying that she seems so happy to have found herself. Kody and Meri stay seated, with Meri sulking that Mariah didn’t tell her first. Christine asks how Mariah has come to this revelation. Mariah cries, revealing that she was homophobic because she was so terrified of her own feeling after hearing such negativity about the gay community from others in her religion (but not from her immediate family). As she explains her thought process to her parents, it’s refreshing to see Janelle, Christine, and Robyn with such huge grins on their faces. Janelle and Robyn are bursting with pride for Mariah. Meri is the only one yet to speak, and Mariah praises Robyn for making her feel like being gay is okay. The other wives leave, and Meri offers a hug. Kody envelopes his daughter in an embrace and tells her that he loves her unconditionally and he’s so glad she felt safe enough to come out to her family.
You’ve got to admit, the man’s got some hustle…as he should given the massive amount of child support he owes to a former girlfriend and the fact he just had a baby with his ex Joseline Hernandez. Stevie J. isn’t exactly the poster child for respectful men, but I think that is about to change.
The Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta star has gotten his own competition show on VH1 which promotes women in the most Stevie J. way possible. Calling all cover girls, it’s time to hop aboard the Stebbie bus!
I don’t know about y’all, but I am more than ready to put 2016 to bed and start fresh with a new year. The past year has brought a lot of bad, but it hasn’t been all bad, especially if you’re a reality television junkie like myself. In fact, as 2016 draws to a close, we can celebrate another triumph in the tumultuous year…a new baby, courtesy of everyone’s favorite dysfunctional Love & Hip Hop Atlanta couple.
Sure, the Puerto Rican princess Joseline Hernandez and her husband (are we sure they’re really married?) child support poster childStevie J. are known for bringing the drama, but now they’ve brought a new life into the world. Their daughter Bonnie Bella was born on December 28th, and in true Joseline fashion, the labor and delivery were epic events.
Last night was the first Brown wedding on Sister Wives…well, the first Brown wedding without Kody Brown as the groom, if you want to get technical. Clearly, it was a two-hour episode, and it begins with the family prepping the venue in Bozeman, Montana. Maddie is stressing over the decorations and timeline while trying not to go batty on her siblings who don’t know the meaning behind a bohemian, sporadic, rustic, free-spirited theme. Kody and Janelle wax poetic about how they saw the spark between Caleb and Maddie when they interacted a few years back at Kody’s brother’s funeral. As you recall, Caleb’s sister is Maddie’s aunt. The wives and Kody think the world of Caleb for how well he took care of his sister after her husband’s passing. Sweetly, Caleb has chosen his nephews as his groomsmen.
The family reminisces over the engagement period, and, not surprisingly, Kody hasn’t even started planning how he will officiate the ceremony. He’s been suffering from insomnia due to the pressure. Maddie isn’t shocked to hear that her dad is so unorganized, and she’s trying her best not to panic. Kody assumed that Caleb’s father, a pastor, would take the reigns, but after recently losing his wife, he wasn’t up to the task. Gracious, could Caleb’s dad be any more precious? Mykelti’s fiancée and his family are going to have some big shoes to fill.
TLC is clearly following around Kody Brown and his wives twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week given how much footage the network seems to have on the family. As you know, there were two episodes of Sister Wives last night, y’all! As Kody infamously says in the opener, “Episodes love should be multiplied, not divided.” Sheesh.
The first episode begins as Janelle is planning a bridal shower for Madison, and she’s struggling with how much to include her fellow sister wives in the process. Poor Janelle isn’t the best when it comes to party planning (don’t believe me? Go re-watch last season’s Thanksgiving debacle with Meri!), and she doesn’t want to get railroaded by her fellow wives who love a good themed event. Janelle is meeting with the planner, and she’s adamant about not letting the guests bring any lingerie. It’s so tacky! The party planner vetoes Janelle’s request to put “No Lingerie” or “Only Classy Gifts” on the invitation. She also jokes about surprising Maddie with some male strippers.