Before we begin with last night’s Southern Charm shenanigans, can we please give a big, fat “Atta boy!” to Craig Conover for passing the South Carolina bar exam! It looks like Shep Rose is going to have to find another reason to deride his pal. Of course, while Craig can celebrate this milestone, he’s going to have to atone for being a complete jackleg to his girlfriend Naomie Olindo on last night’s episode. Once again, she proves to be the only voice of reason in this motley crew!
After the gang muddles through their various (hopefully not morning, as most of them are slugging cocktails) routines, Cameran Eubanks takes her mother to purchase some hoodoo dolls in hopes of reclaiming her high school efforts to become a white witch…complete with spell incantations, purple hair, and a homecoming queen sash. Unlike voodoo dolls, their hoodoo counterparts bring positive energy to those who use them. Cameran is hoping this doll will help with matchmaking her friend Chelsea with Shep.
A big heap of well wishes are in order! There’s a Southern Charmer who isn’t Thomas Ravenel with some baby news! Cameran Eubanks, who has been riding an iffy maternal train for the first three seasons has just announced that she is expecting a daughter with husband Jason Wimberly. That’s going to be an adorable little one, for sure!
Cameran, who has spent her time on the Bravo hit wondering if she’ll ever feel ready for motherhood (while narrating the show and snarking on her co-stars), has flipped the switch. Avid viewers know that Cameran often opines about whether she’ll ever get the baby itch, most recently stating on the show that she’s quite fine with just taking care of her pooch. However, I think we all knew it was only a matter of time before she changed her mind!
Is it just me, or is this season of Southern Charm getting off to a slow start? I guess we do things at a more leisurely pace down here. Last night’s episode cut out one corner of the Chelsea/Austen Kroll/Shep Rose triangle while educating us on the importance of bro code. Additionally, Thomas Ravenel hosted the crew on Edisto Island. At T-Rav’s plantation, Landon Clements is playing house while she preps for the polo match. She is channeling her inner Goop which brings a sparkle to Thomas’ eye. His last lady didn’t know her way around a kitchen, so Landon is a welcome change. As the pretend power couple awaits its guests, both are equally impressed with the other. Thomas has a plantation and Landon is a refined hostess with the most. My dog’s water bowl has more depth. I sincerely hope these two actually end up together. They deserve each other.
Austen has Chelsea programmed in his phone as “Dream Girl” which makes him even cheesier than I’d already assumed. Bless his heart. However, Chelsea seems excited about the pair’s first date, and they are two of the least annoying of the crew. Yes, I realize they have only been in my face for three episodes, so I’ll reserve my final judgment. On their way to Edisto, Austen questions Chelsea’s relationship status with Shep. She reveals that they are both from Hilton Head and may have engaged in a recent make-out sesh with Shep. Tonsil hockey aside, she still thinks Shep is an idiot. Shep 2.0 is happy to hear this news, despite the irony.
After roaming around the peninsula on the previous episode of Southern Charm, the crew was up to new antic’s on last night’s installment, and it included a cameo by Billy Ray Cyrus. Could this show GET any better (typed in my best Chandler Bing font). After the requisite morning montage, Thomas Ravenel dons his Joker glasses to get down to business as Cameran Eubanks and her pal ChelseaMeissner are working out with a trainer after a boozy night. Cameran needs to counteract her gas station diet, and Chelsea dishes on her slumber party with Shepard “Shep” Rose. Spoiler alert, there was no nudity. Cameran is excited her pal may be on the Soulmate Express with the fratastic bachelor, and she encourages Chelsea to keep playing hard to get (ie, no pants dropping) to pique Shep’s interest. He’s used to girls to giving up the goods and is need of a challenge.
Craig Conover meets Landon Clements at Tavern and Table to sympathize over adulting difficulties when there are happy hours to be had. The two giggle over the pronunciation of charcuterie, making a profession out of philanthropy, and hobnobbing with the richest of the rich. Craig is working on an event for his girlfriend Naomie Olindo’s friend’s charity. It’s focus is disaster relief for orphans in Haiti, and Craig has been tasked with ordering the step and release, um, repeat. Landon and Craig bond over how hard they work and how sucky it is when their friends claim they aren’t working hard enough. Please! These tapas aren’t going to eat themselves. Someone has to do it! You can’t spell fundraiser without FUN after all.
This season of Southern Charm has just begun, but already the cast interviews are in full swing! While Shep Rose can come across as an arrogant playboy who hates on his inner circle, there is something inherently affable (at least to me) about him ninety percent of the time. His goofy confidence, fratastic lifestyle, and penchant for mailbox money makes Shep fun to watch when he’s not railing poor Craig Conover. As much as it sometimes pains me, I find him incredibly congenial.
Not only is Shep entertaining, those of us lucky enough to live in Charleston know he is also good at finding (and funding) some excellent hot spots. His Commodore Club is a hole in the wall that boasts an eclectic vibe and amazing live music. There is often a line around the block on a Friday nights. Likewise, the Palace Hotel, which burned down last year, was a tiny, nondescript store front with bars on the windows and no sign in sight. The first time I went for dinner, I wasn’t sure if I was opening the door to a new dining experience or a Law & Order set. However, the cauliflower and pistachio tacos (yes they are a thing, and yes, they are DIVINE!) were on point. AND THEY’RE COMING BACK! Shep is dishing on the return of the Palace Hotel…but first, let’s hear his take on this season of Southern Charm!
Are y’all clutching your pearls yet? We’re the second week into this season of Southern Charm, and it doesn’t seem like much has changed. Cameran Eubanks is still playing the role of narrator and wrangling man children in the form of Craig Conover, Shepard “Shep” Rose, and Shep’s latest protege Austen Kroll. Landon Clements continues to undercut Kathryn Dennis through her giggles while her “is-he-or-isn’t he” Thomas Ravenel surrounds himself with young twenty-something arm candy. Speaking of Kathryn, she’s back with a vengeance and ready to provide hair strands and blood samples and whatever else she needs in order to see her children. Forget the hot mess express, these folks are a convoy of crazy! Let’s dive on in, shall we?
As always, the episode starts with the group in various stages of morning mayhem, whether it’s working or snoozing. Whitney Sudler-Smith visits the Hugh Hefner of CharlestonT-Rav, who has been recovering from the big pool party. He’s not ready to get back into the dating scene for fear a fiery siren will come in to rip off the head of some poor college junior. Whitney is enjoying this mellower version of his friend, and he’s ready to rejoin him on the Upper King singles’ scene after breaking off his long term, long distance relationship with that young blonde girl. Thomas is thrilled to have a wing man, and he makes Whitney promise to prowl the bars each night with one goal: close on site. Wait what? Oh, do it in the bathroom! Makes sense. I’ll be re-upping on the hand sanitizer before I head out again on a Friday night.
Yes, yes, yes! It’s been a long time coming, but last night was the first installment of the fourth season of Southern Charm. Was it as good for y’all as it was for me? Can we please talk about the opening scene? Thomas Ravenel drops by Landon Clements’ house with a flower for his flower, but she giggles that for the record, orchids are her favorite. As they sit by Colonial Lake, he implores her to give their relationship a shot. In true Southern Charm fashion, the premiere then flashes back to three months prior. Cameran Eubanks is on her way to see Craig Conover who has been dodging her phone calls after revealing he never finished law school. Shep Rose rings her while on a frantic search for his credit card. He’s trying to hit up all the bars he went to over the weekend, although he can’t quite remember where he was drinking. Upon arriving to Craig and Naomie’s house, Cameran learns that Craig has become the preppy Bob Villa in order to fill his time while Naomie pursues her MBA in finance.
T-Rav is adjusting to life as a full time father now that he has his children full time. Kensie and Saint are living in the guest house (with the nanny, I assume) because, as Thomas opines, kids are messy. He’d rather have them puke on a $200 guest house rug than a $30,000 main house rug. He reveals that Kathryn Dennis hasn’t seen the kids in a couple of months and won’t until she’s able to pass a drug test. Despite the fact his kids don’t live in the same structure as him, Thomas is hands on dad and it’s truly precious to see him playing with Kensie and Saint.
Never say never, right? You know how sometimes, late at night, celebrities like to get on social media and rant? Maybe they’ve had a few cocktails. Maybe it was just a long day. Usually these things get deleted before sunrise, but sometimes you wake up and realize you quit your job in an all caps Instagram post! Such is the case with Abby Lee Miller who bid an Internet farewell to the network who made her a star over seven seasons of its hit show Dance Moms.
Alleging manipulation and a lack of artistic integrity, Abby gave the boot to the production team who she claims reveled in her mistreatment. However, amid rumblings that the show will go on without her (with former Dancing with the Stars pro Cheryl Burke at the helm), Abby is back tracking…just a little.