Um, what? I know you all were probably too sidetracked by dancing sharks, buck-teethed beach balls, and that horrific Nationwide commercial to miss Kody Brown’s hair, but I didn’t want your Monday to be totally void of all things Sister Wives.
I don’t know who is sure to be crying over today’s news. We all know Meri gets pretty teary from time to time, and y’all don’t call that last wife “Sobbin’ Robyn” for nothing. However, if Robyn is crying, hers are tears of joy as she’s finally gotten everything she wanted. If this gossip is true, Robyn is officially Mrs. Brown…and not just because she had her name legally changed!
It’s very rare that I think a reality star makes a decision that’s not rooted in becoming more famous. Maturity seems sparse among them, and if you’d asked five years ago if I considered any of the Jersey Shore folks to be “mature” I would have laughed in your face after screaming “GTL, beeatches!”
My, how times have changed. Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jenni “JWoww” Farley became household names as they drunkenly face planted in the sand and fist pumped in the sluttiest of Shore Store apparel. Of course, over time, both girls fell in love and started families with the orangest of gorilla juiceheads. We got to see the progression on later seasons of Jersey Shore and on their tamer spin-off Snooki & JWoww. However, now the best friends are committed to raising their families off of MTV. Wait, what? Reality stars rejecting reality television? I can’t even.
Y’all know I love my trashy, hair-pulling, scotch swilling, spandex wearing, bartender STD spreading, limo riding, funeral home owning, Hermes wearing, polygamous, tax evading reality stars as much as the next person (okay, more…much more), but it’s not my favorite reality genre. Weird, right? Sometimes, I don’t want drama. I want food porn, and if it happens to come with a side of Curtis Stone, so be it.
Top Chef is my all time favorite Bravo creation. Give me Padma Lakshmi, Tom Colicchio, an insane Quick Fire, and throw in Hugh Acheson’s eyebrows every now and again, and I am one happy gal. Even with twelve seasons under its belt, the franchise always manages to delight with colorful characters and creative challenges that leave me wishing I could prepare uni and sweetbreads as part of my daily diet.
Well, it’s no Bound 2, and for that I am very, very thankful! Kanye West is premiering a new video, and instead of riding a motorcycle with his naked wife Kim Kardashian, he’s walking through a field with precious daughter North. The father-daughter duo is even dressed alike in Kimye regulation black and blah. His latest single “Only One” is a tribute to his daughter and his late mother Donda, and the video is directed by Spike Jones.
The song is a collaboration with the great Sir Paul McCartney. I’ve still not gotten over that whole Twitter situation where some teens saw a picture of Kanye and the iconic Beatles star together and wondered who was the old man hanging out with Yeezy. Kids today. That was a joke, right?
So last week’s boat ride on Mob Wives was a success, wasn’t it? Last night’s episode began right where the last one ended…with Karen Gravano wanting Natalie Guercio served up on a platter for her to demolish. With friends like these, who needs enemies? Regardless, Big Ang keeps smoking her (is that a clove?) cigarette while trying to figure out where her loyalties should lie. It’s got to be exhausting!
At Drita D’vanzo’s Lady Boss store, she is working on promoting her store with a calendar that she hopes can showcase her make-up, skincare, and jewelry. Karen arrives to help Drita put together her “old Hollywoody meets mobster” vibe. Drita plans to put the proceeds from calendar sales back into the community. Speaking of, Karen wants to host a poker night, and she wants to invite the new Natalie. Drita thinks is a good idea so they can all see how Natalie 2.0 interacts with the crew.
All of her food porn on Instagram has me wondering if she’s planning to follow in the steps of a few of her RHONJ cast mates and create her own cookbook. I’m guessing its theme would be how to eat delicious food and still maintain a healthy lifestyle. One can’t help but notice how wonderful Caroline looks these days, and she’s sharing her weight loss journey with fans.
I digress, this post is about forgiveness, which doesn’t seem to be part of the vocabulary of most Bravolebrities and VH1 showboats. However, Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Kandi is turning the tables and making amends with one time frenemy and Atlanta Exes star Tameka. What’s next? Will Usher follow suit?
I’m just going to say it…JoJo needs to go-go. Her mother is grating on my last Dance Moms nerves, and that’s saying a lot. You know it’s bad if Abby Lee Miller thinks you’re kind of a crappy person! The episode begins with Nia and Holly arriving to the studio. Nia timidly tells Abby that her grandfather is in failing health. She tells Abby that she is looking forward to going to Los Angeles, but she may have to travel back home to visit him if he gets worse. Nia bursts into tears, and it’s nice to see Abby comforting her student. That’s a glimpse of the Abby I hope exists off camera.
In the pyramid, Abby chastises the second place group number and welcomes back JoJo for a second week. Geez. Holly speaks up, asking if sending the girls on auditions and opening a new studio may be too much on her plate when it comes to choreographing the competitions. Nia is on the bottom of the pyramid for being the leader of the second place group dance, followed by Kendall for sloppy foot placement. Kalani rounds out the bottom for failing to bring the girls up to her level of dance. Instead she’s gotten quite comfortable on their level. Maddie is the bottom of the second tier for not participating in last week’s competition. She tells her teammates what she got to do in her absence…which is basically hang out with a bunch of celebrities. JoJo is in the second spot, but Abby chastises her for being to sassy. Kira pipes up with an impression of JoJo, speech impediment and all. Yikes! Jessalyn doesn’t think that her daughter needs to tone down in the least. MacKenzie is deserving of the top spot after her victory.