Are y’all clutching your pearls yet? We’re the second week into this season of Southern Charm, and it doesn’t seem like much has changed. Cameran Eubanks is still playing the role of narrator and wrangling man children in the form of Craig Conover, Shepard “Shep” Rose, and Shep’s latest protege Austen Kroll. Landon Clements continues to undercut Kathryn Dennis through her giggles while her “is-he-or-isn’t he” Thomas Ravenel surrounds himself with young twenty-something arm candy. Speaking of Kathryn, she’s back with a vengeance and ready to provide hair strands and blood samples and whatever else she needs in order to see her children. Forget the hot mess express, these folks are a convoy of crazy! Let’s dive on in, shall we?
As always, the episode starts with the group in various stages of morning mayhem, whether it’s working or snoozing. Whitney Sudler-Smith visits the Hugh Hefner of CharlestonT-Rav, who has been recovering from the big pool party. He’s not ready to get back into the dating scene for fear a fiery siren will come in to rip off the head of some poor college junior. Whitney is enjoying this mellower version of his friend, and he’s ready to rejoin him on the Upper King singles’ scene after breaking off his long term, long distance relationship with that young blonde girl. Thomas is thrilled to have a wing man, and he makes Whitney promise to prowl the bars each night with one goal: close on site. Wait what? Oh, do it in the bathroom! Makes sense. I’ll be re-upping on the hand sanitizer before I head out again on a Friday night.
Yes, yes, yes! It’s been a long time coming, but last night was the first installment of the fourth season of Southern Charm. Was it as good for y’all as it was for me? Can we please talk about the opening scene? Thomas Ravenel drops by Landon Clements’ house with a flower for his flower, but she giggles that for the record, orchids are her favorite. As they sit by Colonial Lake, he implores her to give their relationship a shot. In true Southern Charm fashion, the premiere then flashes back to three months prior. Cameran Eubanks is on her way to see Craig Conover who has been dodging her phone calls after revealing he never finished law school. Shep Rose rings her while on a frantic search for his credit card. He’s trying to hit up all the bars he went to over the weekend, although he can’t quite remember where he was drinking. Upon arriving to Craig and Naomie’s house, Cameran learns that Craig has become the preppy Bob Villa in order to fill his time while Naomie pursues her MBA in finance.
T-Rav is adjusting to life as a full time father now that he has his children full time. Kensie and Saint are living in the guest house (with the nanny, I assume) because, as Thomas opines, kids are messy. He’d rather have them puke on a $200 guest house rug than a $30,000 main house rug. He reveals that Kathryn Dennis hasn’t seen the kids in a couple of months and won’t until she’s able to pass a drug test. Despite the fact his kids don’t live in the same structure as him, Thomas is hands on dad and it’s truly precious to see him playing with Kensie and Saint.
Never say never, right? You know how sometimes, late at night, celebrities like to get on social media and rant? Maybe they’ve had a few cocktails. Maybe it was just a long day. Usually these things get deleted before sunrise, but sometimes you wake up and realize you quit your job in an all caps Instagram post! Such is the case with Abby Lee Miller who bid an Internet farewell to the network who made her a star over seven seasons of its hit show Dance Moms.
Alleging manipulation and a lack of artistic integrity, Abby gave the boot to the production team who she claims reveled in her mistreatment. However, amid rumblings that the show will go on without her (with former Dancing with the Stars pro Cheryl Burke at the helm), Abby is back tracking…just a little.
At least this way, the exit is on Abby’s terms, and as you can imagine, she is exiting stage left in a giant blaze of glory. Complaining of sexism and a power struggle over creative control, Abby is letting Lifetime have it, with a lot of caps lock, no less.
Before becoming Sia’s sidekick, Maddie was center stage of the ALDC. She was tasked with carrying every routine, winning every number, and trying to remain tight with her friends as their mothers feuded over Abby’s favoritism of Maddie and her increasing amount of show biz breaks outside the studio. While Maddie is no longer competing, she is taking advantage of all the opportunities she garnered thanks to her time in the Lifetime spotlight. Most recently, the fourteen-year-old has written a book entitled The Maddie Diaries.
It is with a heavy heart that I write that Teresa Giudice’s mother has passed away. Y’all know I love this job, as it’s fun to snark on the world of reality television stars, but, as with this post, we are often reminded that they aren’t just present for our entertainment and amusement. Regardless of their attitudes, their flaws, their ridiculous quirks, or their over-the-top personalities, reality stars are actually real people who experience highs, lows, loves, and losses just like the rest of us.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star encapsulates so much of what we love to hate, hate to watch, and are mesmerized by thanks to her opulent lifestyle, unabashed and unapologetic relationships with family and friends, countless legal woes, and prison terms. However, at her core, Teresa is just a woman who lost someone so incredibly near and dear to her, and I feel horribly that she has to go through it. Coming on the heels of so much other drama in her life, it must be shattering to her.
“I hear the train a comin’, it’s rollin’ round the bend…” and it is called the HOT MESS EXPRESS! That’s right folks, your favorite trust funders and Peter Pans are returning for a new season of Southern Charm, and legal eagle Craig Conover is dishing all about his co-stars and their journey to Bravo-lebrity status.
One of the most endearing things about Craig (in my opinion) is that he is very loyal…and he can’t keep his mouth shut. Whether he’s defending Kathryn Dennis’ honor, competing with Shep Rose, or lunching with Cameran Eubanks, chances are he’s going to say something that could potentially get him in hot water with his friends. I’ll be interested to see if any of them have opinions on Craig’s recent comments. Oh, and side note, our little Craig is growing up so quickly. He’s finally (FINALLY!) taken the bar exam!
Andrea Canning took the reigns once again for the final installment of this season’s Sister Wives Tell All. As one would expect, there was a lot of focus on Meri and Kody Brown’s flailing relationship as well as Mariah’s recent announcement. To be fair, it was one of the more honest tell alls from this crew, but is that really saying much? As always, the older Brown children (and Christine’s newfound euphoria) made the rest of the gang much more bearable.
Kody and Meri discuss the pitfalls in their relationship and how Meri had told Kody to quit coming around her house. However, she still wanted him to be available to help her with household chores (that wet bar isn’t going to stock itself!) and engage in small talk. Andrea questions whether Meri banished Kody with the hopes that he would fight for her, but Kody counters that for months she would tell Kody to leave when he’d come around. Andrea attempts to remind them both of why they fell in love in the first place. Meri found Kody to be handsome (of course, those locks!) and dynamic, and he loved how she looked at him with respect and adoration. Christine reminds Andrea that Kody’s main focus is the family, and sometimes it is hard for the wives when they desire their husband’s undivided attention.