T-Rav heads to JD’s to vent about what happened in Aiken. He reveals that when he threatened not to co-sign Kathryn’s lease, she became so distraught that she had to be hospitalized. Thomas worries about the risks of his son being born prematurely, and he’s ready to write his name on the bottom line. JD warns that his friend doesn’t need to fall prey to any manipulation on Kathryn’s part. T-Rav definitely believes he’s being manipulated, but he blames Jennifer for pulling the puppet strings. Ever since she wanted more from him after their drunken fling (Thomas’ words, not mine), she’s been instigating and doing her best to upset Kathryn by tracking his every move on social media and sharing it with Kathryn. Of course, if it’s on social media, can’t Kathryn find out about T-Rav’s shenanigans herself? The pair both seem rather adept at Twitter rants and Instagram shade.
Of course, Bethenny is the queen of “I told you so,” and she’s also still wary of new addition Jules Wainstein. Someone younger and skinnier? She must be horrendous! (At least according to the laws of Skinnygirl).
Wait, I’m confused…Dance Moms is going to go on without Maddie? Do you hate us that much, Phil Collins? In the wake of Melissa’s announcement, the ALDC team wants to soak up the last few weeks they have with Maddie and MacKenzie. While they’re obviously sad to see them leave (at least the girls are), it’s clear that everyone is excited for what’s to come in Maddie’s skyrocketing career. Jill believes that even though she’s not showing her true feelings, Abby Lee Miller is secretly seething over the news. In other new, Jill is a candidate for MENSA.
At pyramid, Abby rakes her team over the coals for a second place group number, but it’s a step up from not placing the week before. JoJo is on the bottom, and she jokes that she’s been on the bottom a lot lately. This child’s attitude is everything, but Jessalyn objects to JoJo’s placement–she worked hard and did well last week! Abby rips JoJo’s picture from the pyramid, yelling, “We’ll move her!” before placing her at the top of the pyramid and laughing. JoJo is thrilled. Jessalyn is thankful Abby didn’t throw her daughter’s head shot on the ground and stomp on it. If I were everyone in the studio, I’d be slowly backing away…it’s clearly a sign that Abby’s about to go totally loco. Brynn is now the bottom-most dancer for not dancing, with MacKenzie on her heels for not showing enough emotion in her duet with Nia. When MacKenzie tears up, Abby warns her not to be a crybaby. Emotions are only for the stage! Speaking of, Nia’s dancing was emotional and beautiful, but only third rung of the pyramid awesome. Kendall, Maddie, and Kalani make up the second tier in that order. She praises them all.
I no longer dread Mondays thanks to the dear cast members of Southern Charm. Whether they are unpacking wedding gifts in the eleventh hour to host a dinner party or channeling their inner Knight Rider to escape a polo match, there is something mesmerizing about this crew. That said, while I love the light-hearted friendships and silly situations, the darkness that is starting to overshadow the show is sad. These are real people. Y’all know that…you follow them on social media! Let’s get started with last night’s recap, shall we?
As the charmers prepare for another day in the Holy City, Craig Conover is channeling his inner Ryan Serhant with his monochromatic shirt and tie combo. He’s hoping to beat JD into the office because HashtagNewCraig is a go-getter. Across town, Shepard “Shep” Rose is facetiming with his mom and relishing in being a home owner. Not only is he glad to not be bunking at Sullivan’s with Whitney Sudler-Smith, the ladies dig his home ownership. It makes Shep look like he’s got his shiz together…and that’s going to be important if he expects the city’s Board of Architectural Review to green light an above-ground pool and bar on his roof.
Admit it, you’ve missed the Brown family. You’ve missed Kody’s luscious locks and Robyn’s sobbin’. You’re curious as to whether Janelle has high tailed it out of the family (spoiler alert…not so much) and what Mariah will be whining about as Maddie gains more of a story line. Is Christine’s head still in the clouds? Whatever happened with Meri and that pesky catfishing situation? Well, you don’t have much longer to wait, as the new season of Sister Wives is set to premiere on TLC at 8 PM ET on May 8th.
What can we expect this go-round, except of course a random theme party for every inconsequential event? For starters, we’ve got an engagement, and Robyn has another home birth bringing Kody’s eighteenth child into the world, daughter Ariella Mae. We all know none of it would be complete without plenty of family therapy sessions.
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“We did it! We made it through all 20 episodes and, as expected, we are all barely hanging on by a thread emotionally. After seeing some of the recent blogs, it appears that some of us may not be doing as well as others and are lashing out and hitting below the belt. For a woman who works 18 hours a day, has 250 employees, three shows on Bravo, three restaurants, eight dogs, five swans, two tiny horses, two grown kids and a 70-year-old husband to take the time she took to write that mean blog last week…WOW! Eileen is a such a good, solid human being and friend, and she absolutely does not deserve any of this.”
Really quick before y’all start reading, what (or who) is Munchausens?? Is she a fancy, rich German lady who will be joining the cast on next season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? No, no, it’s Lisa Vanderpump’s next club endeavor after the popularity of SUR and Pump, right? Wait, is that the brand of Yolanda Foster’s coveted refrigerator? Sorry, my bad, is it just the name of Lisa Rinna’s new line of incontinence products?
It’s been an entire season, and I’d rather debate the definition of Munchausen (and to be clear, I know what it is…I saw Sixth Sense!) than pick a side between the Lisas. Who’s with me? That question is easy to answer…Kyle Richards. She’s dissecting the RHOBH finale, and she’s trying to be as impartial as possible. Best of luck to her. Discussing the volatile episode, Kyle opines, “Well, here we are. Back in Los Angeles after our whirlwind Dubai trip. Much of what I wrote last week really pertains to this week as well. I know it is confusing to some since this happened off camera. That always makes it a difficult story to tell. What happened that day at LVP’s when Rinna said the word Munchausen was very clear to me, which is why I confronted LVP right after. We had the discussion in her bathroom. That is when I said, ‘I know what you’re up to, and I will take you down in flames with me’ half laughing, because I just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
No, no, no. Just no. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t necessarily mean you have to make into a second (or third, or fourth) source of revenue. Who am I kidding? Of course it does, especially if you’re a reality star, and even more so if you’re a Bravo-lebrity. As I sit at my computer, I can see the bottle of Kim Zolciak Biermann’s Viva Diva sparking mango moscato that sits on my bar cart…a reminder of the perks of blogging and why I love this gig so much. And in case you’re wondering, it’s unopened – surely it will get better with age!
So, I guess it shouldn’t shock me that the Don’t Be Tardy matriarch has her sights set on yet another money-maker. Hocking wigs and wine and skincare while attempting to be a momager to son KJ and her twin of a daughter Brielle isn’t enough for Kim. She wants to be the next Jeff Lewis!