Holy crap! Charleston is totally going to RavenHell in a hand basket courtesy of Bravo. So, since last week, pretty much all anyone in this town is talking about is how horrible (and somewhat addictive) Southern Charm is. Well, played Andy Cohen. You are a true evil genius. My Facebook newsfeed was filled with friends who were posting pictures of themselves with these yahoos, and I couldn't tell if they are star struck or legitimate friends with the cast of this show. Is one of those scenarios better than the other?
Thomas Ravenel calls his father to talk about a chance meeting with Governor Nikki Haley at a Yankee fundraiser and implore him to start procreating to ensure the family's future. T-Rav reminds us that his dirty political consultant Will Folks wants him to pick the pedigreed Kathryn Dennis for a bride and child bearer (spoiler alert…she is about to have his child in "real time"), but at thirty years his junior (if you go by his birth certificate and not his Bravo bio), T-Rav is concerned that she may be too immature for him. Well, she did graduate from high school in 2009, but some snooping reveals that their burgeoning relationship is totally Facebook official. The pair even thanks "Sic Willie" for his matchmaking skills on T-Rav's page. Gag. That's a relief. T-Rav is traveling to Edisto to give a polo lesson to Shep's ex-girlfriend Danni, and he's great at skeeving me out by molesting her with his eyes and talking about how comfortable she looks in the saddle.
Also, Lisa Vanderpump paved the way for Bravo housewives on the dance competition, and she has some sound advice for competitor NeNe Leakes of Real Housewives of Atlanta. She knows that it takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to make it on the show, but Lisa promises NeNe that it's worth every minute!
The guest list for Kim Kardashian and the tiny rapper's intimate wedding may have just gotten smaller by two people. While the producers of Keeping up with the Kardashians want to film yet another of Kim's weddings for the show (they need a story line, y'all!), putting the hoopla affair on E! may cost Kanye West his desired best man.
As Kim preps for her big day (shouldn't be too hard to plan for given that it's her third), sister Khloe Kardashian is strutting her stuff now that she's newly single. She sported the above outfit (is she going for hillbilly dominatrix?) while attending a Rick Ross concert. I guess she doesn't want to get lost in the shuffle, but I doubt that outfit will help Kim convince Beyonce that her wedding to Yeezy will be a classy affair!
I think BachelorJuan Pablo Galavis may be past the point of a simple "Bless his heart." He just needs to step quietly away from the roses and fade back into obscurity. And while he's at it, he should probably stop blaming all of his insensitive remarks on a language barrier.
On Friday, Juan Pablo retweeted (and then quickly deleted due to backlash) a follower's joke that made light of disabilities. In the aftermath, he told his detractors to "relax" and "try to be happy and enjoy jokes and sarcasm." I'm confused. Hasn't ol' JP blamed all of his cluelessness about sarcasm on his language barrier? It seems that ABC is as tired of this season's Bachelor as I am!
From reality star to executive producer? Jenni "JWoww"Farley has come a long way since Jersey Shore? Who knew those crazy kids had such lofty aspirations in addition to fist pumping and a life of GTL? JWoww first followed in pal Snooki's fuzzy slipper clad footprints when she penned the "self-help" tomeThe Rules According to JWoww: Shore-Tested Secrets on Landing a Mint Guy, Staying Fresh to Death, and Kicking the Competition to the Curb, and now she's set her sights on the cinema.
Jenni is now taking her visions of orange meatballs and gorilla juiceheads to the big screen by serving as executive producer to the upcoming horror film Jersey Shore Massacre. Yes, really.
She begins, "Back to Puerto Rico…Kyle seems so hell bent on an apology from Lisa — for what? Is she seriously demanding this huge, blown-out-of-proportion apology from Lisa for allegedly saying 'take the tabloid' regarding Kyle's husbands alleged affair? Really, are you joking? Did you also demand that same apology from Brandi [Glanville] too? Just curious? Good God, give it a bloody rest."
So both Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian were the victims of robberies recently. It would only make sense that they find new places to reside so it wouldn't happen again. Not really, of course, but after Khloe discovered more than $200,000 worth of jewelry was missing while moving out of her marital home with Lamar Odom, she's finally found a new place to stash her pricey belongings.
In case you were curious, Khloe is a true Bielieber. After selling her home to the star of The Big Bang Theory, Khloe is set to purchase the douchiest house in Calabasas. That's right! She's buying Justin Bieber's party pad. I am sure his neighbors are overjoyed that the egg-slinging jackhole popstar is moving to Atlanta. Atlanta? Not so much. Speaking of, Kris Jenner's house is on the market as well…at least the exterior, that is! Confused? Keep reading!
Can we go ahead and start jumping on Oprah's couch over this news? That's probably putting the cart ahead of the horse, but TLC has announced a new show which will premiere this summer that will follow famed actress and former Scientologist Leah Remini and her family.
I'm not going to hold my breath that this show will divulge all the secrets of the controversial religion, but a gal can hope, right?