Oh, VH1, you never disappoint! The network that brought us the classic Love & Hip Hop franchise is at it again, hoping to target that professional, unmarried woman in her mid to late '20s who totally has her life together but “doesn’t see any shame in watching provocative, fun TV.” Sounds about right! I know these women, and I can see them joining me in a marathon of Naked Dating. Yes. Because that's going to be a show thanks to the art of blurring out body parts!
Nudity not your thing? Perhaps you'd rather watch cameras follow around my favorite Backstreet Boy Nick Carter or get lost in the nail-biting excitement of a traveling paternity testing truck. Who needs ice-cream when it has DNA? Still not convinced? How about K. Michelle's as yet untitled project. So she was telling the truth! The network is also debuting show that chronicles embarrassing hook-up walks of shame. Let me set my DVR (no, really).
I don't think a day goes by that I wonder if reality stars ever learn from their bad behavior. I realize they likely never will, but sometimes even I get surprised. Basketball Wives star Tami Roman may have just shocked me yet! The volatile bestie of Evelyn Lozada and Shaunie O'Neal seems to have learned some lessons after watching herself on the small screen. Too bad her friends have yet to follow suit!
The veteran reality star compares her time on MTV's Real World to the producer created (I'm looking at you, Nostrils!) drama, and cites that one genre (at least back in her day) was a lot more authentic than the other…you know, back when reality television was actually supposed to be real.
Do we know the whereabouts of the Bling Ring? Really, are they in jail? Filming a new season of Pretty Wild (I loved that awful show #sorrynotsorry)? Collecting Hollywood paychecks as residuals for the major motion picture that was made about them? The authorities in Calabasas, California may want to find out what that crazy gang of kids has been up to as of late because someone has been ripping off the Kardashians.
Both Khloe Kardashian and sisterKourtney have been robbed recently…and the instances may be connected. Quick, someone call Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson because this could be a job for them (totally obsessed with True Detective when I'm not watching reality shows!). Seriously, it is odd that both sisters were targeted by criminals at the same time.
How much longer is this show going to be on? I remember that the last season of Dance Moms seemed to go on forever, but I honestly don't know how much more I can take of Abby Lee Miller. Last night, she gave Chloe a bit of a reprieve while she focused most of her ugliness on poor Kendall. These girls are not okay with this abuse. Sure, there are a few scenes here and there that make me think parts of the episode are totally scripted, but Kendall's tears were real. The defeat in Chloe's eyes was real. The look on Nia's face that made it quite clear she couldn't stand her dance teacher (loved it!)…that was real.
Before the pyramid, Holly invites Abby and the other mother's to come to her book-signing party for her affirmations. Abby reminds Nia that dance should come first and insinuates she should get credit for ideas behind the book. Abby wonders if her affirmation "silence is golden" will apply when Holly learns that Nia is at the bottom of the pyramid. That's the face I'm talking about, Miss Nia! Kendall follows, and while Abby couldn't find anything wrong with Kendall's performance she wants to punish her for her mother questioning why she wasn't featured in the group dance. Maddie is third from the bottom because she wasn't at the competition, but Abby is still proud of the job she was doing in L.A. Am I wrong or does Abby usually put other dancers who are absent in the last spot? Chloe is in the third spot, and Christi can't believe that Abby gives her daughter even the smallest amount of praise. MacKenzie is second with Kalani topping the pyramid.
Well this is rich. I don't know why I always assume that reality stars will learn from their past behavior and grow. I'm always proven wrong. I suppose that in the event they did become better people, they'd become less entertaining. Case in point? Renee Graziano.
The Mob Wives star didn't exhibit the most glowing portrayal on the most recent season, often turning violent on co-star Natalie Guercio at the drop of a hat…or the word "delicious." Renee also talked a lot of smack about her best friend's wife Alicia DiMichele Garofalo, and it doesn't appear that she's going to stop anytime soon! I guess if she can her name in the tabloids, she doesn't care what she has to say to do it!
In her Bravo blog, Lisa begins, "As we conclude this fiasco of a vacation (I use that word loosely), it brings it all back…I understand Joyce and Michael's comment saying that we should have answered. But, as Joyce now says when she sees the footage since she wasn't there, I answered on the beach–and that for most people would've been enough. So when I witness Yolanda stating I left because I didn't want to have that conversation…she was right. I knew what they were looking for. They were looking for blood. It is quite fascinating to see the two-faced conversations, full of animosity from people I believed to be friends, that led up to this. I hope they are proud of themselves and what they see. I wouldn't be–that's a certainty."
Um…I'm not sure what to do with this information. It's just plain gross, but I think the issue I have with it is that I am not at all surprised by it. Have I become so jaded that nothing to do with Farrah Abraham shocks me anymore? Yes. The answer to that question is yes. In fact, with this morsel of gossip, I find myself saying "eww" in the highest.
So, when the Teen Mom star isn't waxing her daughter's eyebrows or showing up to Couples Therapy sans the other half of her "couple," Farrah is trying to make money off her porn private home sex tape filmed for the sole purpose of promoting her future self-esteem…because Backdoor Teen Mom clearly wasn't filmed on a set…with a production crew…and a porn star. You won't believe the latest gossip! Or maybe you will…