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Sometimes I just want to see Kody Brown's hair blowing in the breeze when I watch Sister Wives.  I don't want to hear Meri whining or Christine jabbering on about the family's mission statement while Janelle quietly plans her mistake.  I certainly don't want to be treated to a little ditty about Robyn's first sexual experience!

The cul-de-sac compound is in full swing, and all of the children are excited to be in such close proximity.  Kody's hair is more feathered than normal, and he's looking forward to the first family church service in the new homes.  While Kody leads his family in a lesson and has asked his wives to contribute.  This week, Robyn will be dishing on chastity and sexual purity.  Perhaps that will wake up the teens who are nodding off during Kody's service.

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Taylor Armstrong and her boyfriend John Buhler go for dinner at Aventine restaurant
Well, it appears that congratulations are in order for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Taylor Armstrong.  She has reportedly gotten engaged to boyfriend John Bluher, which means, I guess, that he is finally divorced.

Taylor has been pretty much off the radar lately, and she didn't even put up a fuss when she was downgraded to "friend of the housewives" status on the Bravo franchise.  Apparently, she's been too busy being in lurve with her former attorney.

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scrap bambi

You know what I think?  I think that Bambi, Malaysia Pargo's best friend and sometimes cast member on Basketball Wives: L.A. is VH1's answer to Bravo's Slade Smiley.  Why else would she keep "dating" reality stars from the same show?

When we last saw Bambi, she was nuzzling the neck chin and shoulders of my favorite bobble head Benzino (seriously, I kind of adore him) pre-Kirk Frost threesome in the woods.  Well, now she's moved on to one of Benzino's Love & Hip Hop Atlanta cast mates, and it's too bad that this didn't happen before the reunion because an altercation between Zino and this guy would have been amizzznigheeazing!

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Vicki-Brooks-+-Gretchen-Slade

The Real Housewives of Orange County's drama is never ending, but the ladies certainly seem to be ramping up their public appearances on the heels of all of the reunion insanity–and to think, we've got one more installment!

The O.G. of the O.C. Vicki Gunvalson continues to go on (and on and on and on) about her depleted love tank, and Gretchen Rossi is still devastated that her frienemies thought her proposal to Slade Smiley was just for the cameras.  So it wasn't? What these ladies fail to realize is that they keep replaying the same old story lines…and the season is done filming!  

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Tarz Tina

Didn't get enough of Tina Sugandh's drama-filled antics on Newlyweds: The First Year?  Well, she's bringing her special brand of brash to Bravo's Dish…talking about her son with husband Tarz Ludwigsen and how babies are just torture.  Oh Tina, you're such a hoot!

Taking to her Bravo blog, Tina questions, "How dare I call cute little innocent babies "torture" you ask? I say that babies are torture because no one told me that I was going to become an emotional wreck after having my son. No, I’m not going through any sort of post-partum depression. I’ve always been super-sensitive and emotional as it is—and this little thing is so damn cute, that it has become downright torturous!"  Tina is super-sensitive and emotional?  I never would have guessed it!

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madea witness protection 4 260612

Shaunie, who?  Gloria Govan and her sister Laura Govan are moving on up in the world of reality television, and they are getting their own gig.  Who needs Basketball Wives: LA?  Not the Sisters Govan, that's for sure!

Gloria has been vocal about leaving the show in the past (I'd always just assumed she wasn't asked to return, which could very well be the case), and it was rumored that VH1 was none to pleased when she eloped mid-season of BBW LA with NBA player Matt Barnes and did not invite camera crews to capture the nuptials.  In your face, VH1!

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brooks ayers

And now I've heard everything.  The ridiculously shady law suit between Real Housewives of Orange County's Vicki Gunvalson's vodka partner and Brooks Ayers has now become even shadier, and who'd think that was even possible?  It seems that now Brooks is suing Robert Williamson III (the same guy who is suing him) alleging slander and defamation.  Why?  He's claiming that Robert has been making claims that Brooks had hired a hit man to kill him!  Murder for hire by Bravo!

Radar is reporting that the majority of the debacle went down via text message, and Brooks wants to clear his good (ahem) name.  According to court documents filed in Las Vegas (I thought what happened there stayed there!), Robert and his wife Cate lured Vicki to a hotel room to fill her head with asinine falsehoods about Brooks including that he is a “dangerous guy who has threatened Plaintiff (Williamson) and his wife’s life” and that he “hired a hit man to kill plaintiff.”  Oh, and he had a lot of STDs.  I couldn't make this up if I tried!

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dd3jpg

Last night's Duck Dynasty got back to the roots of why I love this show so much.  It wasn't super scripted, but it was hilarious, wholesome, and fun to watch.  The episode followed Willie, Jase, and Si as they gave Martin a good-natured ribbing over a member of the opposite sex, and Phil was able to spend some quality time (even if he didn't ask for it) with some of his adorable grandchildren.

The Robertson boys are fishing, but Si's singing seems to be scaring off all potential catches.  As Phil so eloquently puts it, "If fish were vampires, Si would be garlic, daylight, and a stake through the heart simultaneously."

The men plan for a poker night, but Martin bows out quietly.  He's got a date!  I'm kind of excited to learn this news because it means that Martin is still on the market.  Call me maybe!  Willie jokes that he's known Martin for ten years and he's been on one date…if Willie is being generous.  Jase inquires as to whether Martin found this girl in a mail-order bride catalog.

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