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Last night's Duck Dynasty got back to the roots of why I love this show so much.  It wasn't super scripted, but it was hilarious, wholesome, and fun to watch.  The episode followed Willie, Jase, and Si as they gave Martin a good-natured ribbing over a member of the opposite sex, and Phil was able to spend some quality time (even if he didn't ask for it) with some of his adorable grandchildren.

The Robertson boys are fishing, but Si's singing seems to be scaring off all potential catches.  As Phil so eloquently puts it, "If fish were vampires, Si would be garlic, daylight, and a stake through the heart simultaneously."

The men plan for a poker night, but Martin bows out quietly.  He's got a date!  I'm kind of excited to learn this news because it means that Martin is still on the market.  Call me maybe!  Willie jokes that he's known Martin for ten years and he's been on one date…if Willie is being generous.  Jase inquires as to whether Martin found this girl in a mail-order bride catalog.

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Is there trouble in paradise for Hollywood's cutest, most normal, and highly revered husband and wife duo?  I certainly hope not! However, it appears that Courtney Stodden will be spending some time apart from her main squeeze father figure number one tubster​ hubster Doug Hutchison.  

Apparently, Courtney is making her way across the pond to participate in the U.K.'s version of Celebrity Big Brother.  The only snag?  Doug wasn't invited to join her!  Bloody awkward!

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Well, I don't know about y'all, but after Monday night's premiere of Basketball Wives, I'm curious to see where newbie Tasha Marbury fits in with this illustrious group of "ladies."

Tasha, who is married to former NBA star Stephon Marbury has admitted to agreeing to the show so that she had something independent of being known for the man she married.  Stephon used to play for the Boston Celtics, and he's recently signed on to play in China for the Bejing Ducks.  While that's great for him, I really just want his wife to make an appearance on BBW because she's rumored to ruffle Shaunie O'Neal's feathers!

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Words can't even describe how much Basketball Wives' Shaunie O'Neal grates on my nerves.  She doesn't own her inner mean girl, and she lets Evelyn Lozada and Tami Roman do her bidding while she sits back feigning clean hands.  This season is going to be no different, I presume.

However, on Monday's premiere, Nostrils promised to be more outspoken and not hold back in what she's thinking.  Did I miss the part where she promises to be arrogant to the point of making me nauseous?  Because she is.

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It's time for the spin cycle–Real Housewives of New Jersey edition!  On the heels of Melissa Gorga's blog about some chick she barely knew a bazillion years ago, now we're getting Teresa Giudice's version.  You have to love how Tre (or her Bravo blog ghostwriter) makes her look like an innocent bystander who just loves and supports her sister-in-law as she navigates this crazy world of reality fame!  If I was Andy Cohen, and this was my clubhouse, the drinking words would be "best friends!"

Of her take on Melissa's experience at her launch party, Teresa writes, "I was sorry that Melissa got into a fight with one of her best friends at the launch party. For the record, I didn't invite Jan or Penny. The party was open to any salon owners who called in and spoke with the Youthful 8 company reps. As soon as I found out Jan had RSVPed, I called Melissa to warn her and make sure she would be OK with it. If Melissa didn't want them to come, believe me, I would have uninvited them immediately!"  I believe that, don't you?

Teresa continues, "I don't really know Jan, I just know she was one of Melissa's best girlfriends, and they were in each other's wedding. I have no idea why Jan and Melissa would have a falling out, but like I said in my interview on the show, I have Melissa's back…When Jan and Melissa were talking, I was right there to make sure it didn't get out of hand. My brother was right there too, and he wasn't upset, shrugging it off as crazy talk, so I did too. My main concern was that Melissa knew I was there for her."  Really?  I don't believe Melissa as far as I could throw her, but it appeared to me that Teresa didn't want to leave because she didn't want anyone to say something she wasn't expecting…

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I am so confused as to what Lifetime is trying to pull with this season of Dance Moms.  Not only has it lasted almost a decade already, but Abby Lee Miller bounces on and off the show like hyper kid on a trampoline!  What is going on here?

Last night's episode began as Melissa busts into Abby's house and she's decked out in a bathrobe and a towel.  Abby's mom isn't doing very well, and she may not make it to the pyramid again.  Melissa shares that Maddie misses her dance teacher, but Abby is adamant that her needs come first (and I don't blame her with a very sick mother).  As Abby shares her hardships, Melissa is in tears…but Melissa is promised that Maddie will be dancing a solo at Nationals.

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This is going to be good, y'all!  The mean girls are back with tagalong Suzie Ketcham trailing not far behind.  It will be interesting to see if Evelyn Lozada, Shaunie O'Neal, and Tami Roman can keep their promise to keep tempers in check.  Newbie Tasha Marbury is also going to be thrown into the craziness, but not this week.  Of course, first VH1 needs to explain away Ev & Ocho.

A bittersweet melody plays as we're treated to a photo montage of Evelyn and Chad Johnson's wedding peppered with redacted police reports and Chad's mugshot.  A somber Evelyn tells of her brother-in-law's death two days after she learned of Chad's cheating and the subsequent head butt that left her with several stitches in her forehead.  She feels like people blamed her for ruining Chad's career.  Is this Basketball Wives or the lead in for a 20/20 special?

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I feel like Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga should just give up on pretending they want a better relationship.  They don't.  These two should just throw in the towel, cut their losses, and remain civil for the sake of their children.  The sisters-in-law and their whole "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" mentality is wearing thin on this gal.

In her Bravo blog, Melissa addresses that awkward evening at Teresa's launch party with acquaintances Penny and Jan (the same random chick off the street that was a bridesmaid in Melissa's wedding).  Those women certainly aren't her friends!

Melissa begins, "Well, that was a bizarre and confusing night. I’m sure you are just as dizzy as I am. Teresa and I had already talked about the rumors and she told me to just 'ignore it.' So I was surprised when she called and suggested that her launch party would be the 'perfect time' to confront the people that have been spreading these lies about me."

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