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preachers clarence

Last night's Preachers of L.A. had Bishop Ron Gibson helping his drug addict sister while Clarence McClendon grappled with death threats. Again. Whew!  It's hard being a filthy rich minister! Deitrick Haddon was still upset about living apart from his family so he devises a sneaky little plan. As for Jay Haizlip, Noel Jones, and Wayne Chaney? I guess we'll have to wait until next week to catch up with those cats!

As the show starts, Deitrick is hanging out at the playground with his future mother-in-law and he shares the big news that he's bought a house.  And not just any house–this casa has six bedrooms and seven baths (when can I move in?), but he promises not to shack up. Deitrick will wait until after the "I dos" before moving in Dominique and his daughter. Meanwhile, Ron is struggling with his sister Shaun's heroin addiction. He feels responsible for her fate due to his past drug problems, and he calls his family together in an attempt to save his sister. Ron knows he has the Lord on his side, but to get his sister out of the crack house, he's going to need the law as well.

Well, looky here! Clarence is biffles with P. Diddy's personal umbrella holder! He welcomes Farnsworth into his ginormous compound and compliments him on having as much swag as the bishop himself. Farnsworth and his wife have brought their new daughter to meet Clarence, and we learn that they are part of his congregation. Remind me why these men are dressed as twins? Clarence and Farnsworth talk about the hardships of fatherhood. It's not easy having to fly six hours first class to spend time with your family, and don't even get Clarence started on the people who are jealous of how successful his ministry has become. Thank God (no really) for security detail! Clarence reveals that his body guards have never had to deal with issues of this magnitude with the most A-list of celebrities, He seems very proud of this fact.

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rhoa-mexico-kandi-todd

Heaven forbid a Bravolebrity get married without a camera crew in tow! As you all know, this week's wedding speculation is focused on Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kandi Burruss and fiance Todd Tucker. They were recently in Mexico, and a tweeted picture from Todd caused elopement rumors to fly!

Well, Kandi's rep denied any walk down the aisle, and now co-star Cynthia Bailey is tip-toeing around the subject…Bravo wants to leave enough of a question to keep people talking, I guess!

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The Real Housewives of Miami - Season 3

Orange is the new black, and black is the high-pitched, turbaned voice of reason? After a crazy Sunday night with the ladies of Real Housewives of Miami, I may purchase one of Lea Black's grhandma bags to bitch slap my favorite frienemies! After Lisa Hochstein revisited the Audriana de Moura deDrama at Lea's bag launch and Alexia Echevarria insulted her event, what's poor Lea to do (besides play nice with Audriana for the sake of her son)? Why address the episode's events (and her "hate club") in her Bravo blog, of course!

Lisa begins, "I love you Lisa, but a premiere of my handbag line at a couture boutique really isn't the place to re-hash the 'Adriana saga'. I'm starting to feel like the Adriana issue is being shoved down my throat every single time I am around some of the girls. I can't even go to a business engagement without it becoming the topic of conversation. I'm starting to feel like I'm being "water-boarded" to overlook who I have realized she is and who she is not — just so everyone can have a cocktail together!"

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kenya-moore-engagement-ring

Krayonce is back in full effect…and twirl! Real Housewives of Atlanta's resident delusional fan-flinging star Kenya Moore is back in full force, and the Gone with the Wind Fabulous singer (that's singing she's doing, right?) is talking about Kanye West.  Don't y'all know–Kenya was the one who got away!

While the world is talking about Yeezy's engagement to Kim Kardashian, Kenya is going back to a time before the tiny rapper knew the bootilicious reality star. It was a simpler time. A time with fewer televised Kardashian weddings and more old-fashioned fans. At least, that's how I picture it.

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kim-kardashiankanye-engagedment3-

So it seems that Kanye West has found his voice because the man cannot stop talking about getting married to Kim Kardashian. I mean, dude, I'm going to let you finish but I had one of the…nothing.  I've got nothing. I think we are all going to have to let Kanye finish…and that means it could be a long time before he stops doing interviews about his engagement to the reality star. You know what, though? I'm fine with it. He seems to have quieted Kim for the time being, and I have a feeling that Kim is soon going to only know how to smile and nod like Kate Katie Holmes when she was with Tom Cruise.

E! is dishing more on an interview Kanye gave on Monday morning–you know, the one where he discussed finding the perfect ring(s) for the elaborate engagement. He also addressed the dudes who plan on popping the question to their ladies after his Jumbotrontastic love fest, saying, "I gotta apologize to the race of males for turning [it] up so much." He's far too kind. And humble. Surprisingly, the actual ceremony will be relatively low-key, with Kanye only teasing, "Two words: fighter jets."

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big-ang

Mob Wives' Big Ang knows a thing or two about plastic surgery…and vino! Having just released a new line of wines, the "bigger is better" reality star celebrated the launch of her latest venture with friends and family at–where else?–an authentic Italian restaurant in New York City.

Known for her cannonball sized boobs and lips and her role as the voice of reason on Mob Wives, Ang is versed in all things tattooed, tanned, and cocktail related. She is also doling out advice on romantic relationships, which makes sense when you think about it. I'm sure Prosecco served in a bottle decorated with kiss marks and animal print can get anyone in the mood!

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hip hop yandy

Don't lie. You've missed the crew from Love & Hip Hop. Yeah, I know. I couldn't type that with a straight face any more than you could read it with one. With the Basketball Wives reunion kaput, VH1 treated us to the season premiere of a more yawn-inducing version of the feisty L&HH: ATL. While I'll try to reserve my judgment, I don't think that K. Michelle can save this sinking ship any more than the newbies. It's not that I don't like Yandy Smith and Mendeecees Harris, but they are almost too likeable. I didn't believe Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena's relationship was anything more than camera candy, so I never invested much thought in them, and don't even get me started on the dysfunction that is Tahiry Jose and Joe Budden. So, about that reservation of judgment promise…I'm not doing so well, eh? 

With the Medicine Man still incarcerated, Yandy has continued to take Little Mendeecees during his dad's custodial times. Both she and Mendecees have decided to tell the boy that his father is serving time…in the army.  I don't even have the chance to type how adorable this child is before Mona Scott Young goes and throws a curveball…she is totally exploiting Little Mendecees by having him share a secret with his soon-to-be stepmom. He reveals that he has known his dad was in jail for months.

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Kim Kardashian 33rd Birthday

It's been a big week for Kim Kardashian, y'all!  Not only did she celebrate her thirty-third birthday, but she got engaged for the third time to tiny rapper Kanye West who finally made peace with Jimmy Kimmel (seriously, I am still laughing about that!). If that wasn't enough, new daughter North West debuted this week on Keeping up with the Kardashians. As you could expect, Kim kept it klassy for all of these events.

Let's begin with the show, shall we? Confession time…I. sometimes every once in a while rarely watch KUWTK. I'm not even that ashamed of it. In fact, I tend to find the majority of the family (read: Bruce Jenner, Kendall Jenner, Khloe Kardashianwho grates on my nerves like the remaining family members when I read stuff like this–and the Jenner boys) likeable on the show. The entire shiny E! klan is separate and different from the fame lovers I love to loathe in the 'loids. That said, Kim was just plain gross on this week's episode, and I don't give two flying flips about her third (and no, I don't think this one's the charm) wedding. 

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