Last night’s Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was everything. All of Yung Joc’s baby mamas are in some book club hybrid that is simply amazing, and the remaining story lines paled in comparison. Don’t believe me? Let’s begin at the beginning…
Tony is trying to convince Kalenna to invest in a new Atlanta nightclub, but after hearing about Stevie J.’s experience, Kalenna is very skeptical…and she shares as much with the requesting investor. Tony hates that Joseline Hernandez gotten into her head to squash this deal, but let’s be honest, someone needs to be asking the hard questions! He’s frustrated that Kalenna has so many reservations about what he considers to be an amazing deal to dump their entire life savings. Not wanting to further upset her husband, Kalenna caves and agrees to fork over all of their cash. Hey, at least they’re getting paid for this show, right?
Unfortunately, I can’t go back to an easier time when memories of “go-go juice” and “sketti” served in the finest of Cool-Whip containers meant that life was simple, back when one’s only concerns were exposing forklift foot if a water park’s rip-roarin’ slide proved too much for a pedicured ankle sock or whether a scheduling conflict with the local railroad would create a loud, late night train situation. Nope, I can’t hop in my Kuntry Store purchased time machine and unlearn all I now know about the folks of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Thanks June Shannon.
When TLC’s cash cow was at the height of popularity, the line was clearly drawn before those who (like me) found the family’s ridiculous antics equally endearing and disgusting and those who thought the show’s fans were verging on insanity. Sure, the six-year-old beauty queen wannabe Alana Thompson was sassy to the point of rude, but her one-liners were everything. The family was open about their past struggles (June, a grandmother in her mid-thirties has four daughters from various incarcerated men), but who am I to judge? Plus, what’s not to love about Sugar Bear?
With so many “cliffhangers” from last week’s episode, I couldn’t wait to find out what happened when Mimi Faust finally had an exchange with Nikko’s wife Margeaux regarding that now ridiculously played out sex tape. How did Stevie J fare in federal court while facing massive child support claims with Joseline Hernandez by his side? Are Kirk Frost and Rasheeda ever going to get an original story line? Is Mona Scott Young getting the last laugh? I’d have to give a resounding “yes!” to that last one, and yet I am just as enthralled every week. Who’s with me?
Last night’s Love & Hip Hop Atlanta begins with the Mimi/Margeaux introduction, and Mimi is quick to tell Margeaux that Nikko didn’t have an issue hiding his marriage for two years when he was sleeping with her. Is that supposed to be a good thing? Margeaux and Mimi are back and forth with their words and their hands, each yelling at the other to get fingers out of faces. Ariane tries to pull Mimi off of Margeaux, and she says what everyone else is thinking. Both of these “ladies” need to be focusing their aggression on Nikko, not on each other. The women are accusing each other of being cowards, and Margeaux wonders why Mimi wants to keep it a secret that she was the mastermind behind the sex tape leak. Mimi storms out, and Margeaux tries to explain Mimi’s part in the VIVID revelation. While Ariane has had her doubts about Mimi’s story, she has to believe what her friend tells her…unless proven otherwise.
Forget fad diets, lap band surgeries, or even good old fashioned exercise. Dance Moms controversial star Abby Lee Millerdidn’t take any of the more traditional routes when it comes to her recent weight loss. Nope, instead the Lifetime star shed several dress sizes (she went from a 24 to a 16) due to a string of sad life changes and bad luck.
As much as I hate to admit it, Abby looks great (as evidenced from the photos of her LA studio opening), but she reveals that losing a significant amount of weight was never her intention…although she’s very happy with the results. The dance instructor turned reality mogul is speaking out against rumors she went under the knife for her new figure, citing her mother’s death to colon cancer in early 2014 as a big catalyst.
I’ve already done double duty tonight, channeling my inner Mr. Belvedere and presenting myself with some running socks (sadly, I own no shoes with red soles) and a viewing drink so that my kaftan-clad (well, a bathrobe, but it’s fancy) self would be socially primed to watch the Southern Charmreunion the way it should be watched…channeling Patricia Altschul. I’m still upset with Andy Cohen for not stepping up the reunion game and bringing the final round to Charleston and out of the WWHL clubhouse. Next year, right?
The cast is prepping for the big night in New York City, and everyone is already anticipating a great deal of drama. Andy compliments Shepard “Sheppie” Rose on his mature and stylish attire and addresses Thomas Ravenel as “Senator,” although T-Rav claims to have no more future political aspirations. The host notes he stuck in the hot seat (and potentially in the line of physical fire) between Thomas and Kathryn Dennis before high-fiving Craig Conover. Enough with the pleasantries, Andy. This hour is going to fly by as it is!
Speaking of, Scrappy is hosting his mom, her ex-husband Ernest who she sent to the clink a few years back who has returned from jail even more in love, his mother Bessie who isn’t Dee’s biggest fan due to the incarceration, and the prince’s sister Jasmine who can’t fathom why her mom wants to reconcile with Ernest. Oh, and Bambi and Jasmine’s boyfriend Rico are in attendance as well, but they aren’t likely going to bring much drama to this table. Dee blesses the meal, and Scrappy prays for a conflict-free evening. Dee addresses the elephants in the room, and Bessie cries that it was difficult to learn how to forgive Dee for sending her son to jail. Bessie contends there are better ways to punish your drug-dealing, verbally abusive, car-stealing husband than to call the cops on him. Just make him fend for himself on laundry for a week! Jasmine interrupts that Ernest is an opportunist for wanting to get back together with Dee after she put him away for seven years. Dee threatens to whoop Jasmine’s butt up and down Atlanta, but Scrappy does his best to mediate. Can’t everyone behave like adults? Ernest believes they have a long way to go before they’ll be a big, happy family. Ernest…mastering the understatement since 1984.
Like y’all, I can’t understand why Bravo short-changes us on Southern Charm. Not an actual full season’s worth of episodes? The reunion at the WWHL clubhouse? This is a legitimate reality series, not the ugly, less popular sister of Below Deck (which I also love…don’t get me started on how slighted that crew is!)…why not treat it like one?
This is my favorite show because it’s the most real of the reality I see on a daily basis…that, and Patricia Altschul is my much better coiffed spirit animal. That said, can you believe the reunion is tonight? That final episode left us with a screeching Kathryn Dennis sprinting the deck of the Yorktown and the promise of a more balanced Craig Conover. In terms of closure, it wasn’t what we’d hoped! So, what do we know about the gang heading into tonight’s reunion?
We all know that the Keeping up with the Kardashian klan loves nothing more than being followed around by kamera krew filming their every waking breath, but besides the obvious, what kreates the hierarchy of the family’s favorite ways to garner attention? Following at a close second behind being E!’s own EdTV is obviously dressing your child in an outfit that costs more than the average person’s salary and finding new ways to pose nude in every publication known to man. Of course, all of the Kardashians also adore posting vague, yet poignant (and often pointed) quotes on Instagram, but more so than that, they relish in stirring up drama on the same social media site.
Doing both this week is the most level-headed (it pains me to type that) Kardashian, Khloe. She’s using her Instagram to inspire and to insult, although I think the latter was unintentional (albeit totally stupid on her part!). Khloe is quite the kontradiction, isn’t she?