“I’ve got to be free, free to face the life that’s ahead of me; on board, I’m the captain, so climb aboard. We’ll search for tomorrow on every shore.” If you’re not a fan of Styx, I’m not sure we can be friends. However, I’ll cut you some slack if you’re enjoying this season of Below Deckas much as I am!
Tonight’s episode begins with the crew socializing on land, and Emile Kotze is overcome with the feelings for Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow. She’s flirting up a storm, but she’s playing the field with both Emile and new guy Dane who immediately pushes his co-worker’s buttons by making fun of a bracelet gifted to Emile by his sister. Rocky stays a few steps ahead of Emile. He missed his golden ticket on their drunken first (and only) date. Eddie Lucas retires to call his girlfriend while Rocky mixes up some whipped cream to coat Connie Arias’ naked body. Chef Leon Walker is amused, to say the least. In his cabin, Eddie is having the same fight with girlfriend Amy who cheated on him last charter season. Amy Johnson is confused by the whipped cream bikini situation, and when Eddie returns to the main deck, he can’t believe the mess. It’s not a frat party! Kate Chastain is playing the role of silent by-stander as Eddie deposits Connie’s underwear on the floor of her room. Kids these days…what are you going to do?
Finally. Love & Hip Hop Hollywood is following the trend it created by introducing a bunch of peripheral characters in one episode that we’ll struggle to keep up with for the remainder of the season. It’s about time. Last night’s episode begins with Brandi confronting her husband Max in the studio. The trifling hos didn’t know he was married because he’s neglected to wear his wedding ring. Not okay, especially according to this newbie player! She unearths his wedding band from her suitcase size purse and holds it up as proof for the ladies who were draped across her man. Again, it’s the girls fault, not so much his. Max and Ray-J drag the tiny Tasmanian devil out of the studio, but she puts up quite a fight. She screams at Max about how he’d feel if she was out without her wedding ring. HOW WOULD HE FEEL? I’m guessing he wouldn’t care all that much.
Kamiah is still reeling from being deleted from Lil’ Fizz’s menu, and she’s meeting with celebrity blogger Jason Lee who spouts off his Hollywood resume like I order my weekly Bo Jangles. Kamiah recaps the downfall of her relationship with Fizz which started with her moving her stuff into his place and ended with a rock wall break-up. She recalls Fizz’s erectile dysfunction while Jason foams at the mouth. He can’t wait to post this madness! He reminds her that she needs to be focused on a man that can rise to the occasion. Pun intended.
Oh Monica. I don’t know if I’m more disappointed to find out that you’re friends with Kim Zolciak-Biermann or that you are okay being a part of last night’s Don’t Be Tardy. Either way, last night’s episode didn’t grate on my last nerve per the usual, and I truly enjoyed seeing a deeper side to Kim and Brielle’s mother-daughter relationship.
As the family jokes about Brielle’s ever present ditziness, Kroy suggests she check out Hooked on Phonics. Thanks for the tip, Kroy, but Brielle is just fine only speaking the language she knows. She’s not interested in learning a new one. When Kroy tries to explain that phonics isn’t a different language, I can actually see a light bulb turn on above Brielle’s head as she slowly whispers, “Oh Rosetta Stone!” Brielle has a new path and a plan. She wants to be the next Guiliana Rancic. Kim offers up her celebrity friends as practice interviews.
Last night’s Sister Wives gave us a peek into Kody Brown’s relationship with third wife Christine. She admits to being extremely jealous in this lifestyle. You don’t say! I am seeing a new formula this season. The episode last week mainly featured Kody and Janelle, and this week, the focus is his time with Christine. Is TLC trying to convince us he loves his other wives as much as he adores Robyn? Good luck!
Speaking of Robyn, she is frantically searching her home office for her divorce papers in light of the highly anticipated adoption. Kody recaps once again the necessary paperwork shuffle that allowed him to divorce Meri and legally marry Robyn. He reveals they are hoping to file in Montana where Robyn’s ex-husband lives. He hears that Montana judges aren’t prejudiced against polygamist families. Um, okay. Kody and all of the wives converge upon their family law attorney to question whether the paperwork shouldn’t have been filed in Nevada. Robyn shares that her ex-husband has, like, been, like, dodging service. When discussing it in their couch interviews, Robyn suffers a panic attack that halts filming. She seems to get more sympathy from Meri than Robyn. The Browns’ attorney is optimistic that Kody could adopt Robyn’s children within a week if her ex is cooperative.
I guess times aren’t so grand for the kingdom. Momma Dee, the outspoken royal matriarch of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta found herself staying in quarters that weren’t quite fit for a queen after a run-in with the law.
The reality star is the mother of rapper Lil’ Scrappy, and she’s often turning away his love interests at the door to her palace. Only the best for her prince! However, it seems she may have overextended her regal budget after a recent night out in Wisconsin. You’ll recall that Dee wasn’t keen on getting a promissory ring from her ex, now current, husband Ernest at a restaurant known for its chicken wings. Unfortunately, if it’s a higher end establishment, Dee doesn’t want to pay for the service or the amenities.
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream, when Don gets replaced with a hotter deckhand, it’s Rocky’s perfect dream! After Don Abenante’s departure and Emile Kotze and Raquel “Rocky” Dakota Bartlow’s drunkalicious failed date last week on Below Deck, it was time for some new blood. I think the correct term in this situation is “chum.” But beautiful chum, nonetheless!
Last night’s episode introduced us to Dane, and Rocky was all about him. Sorry Emile! Also, perfect, sweet, unassuming bosun Eddie Lucas suffered a hit involving his long-term, long distance relationship. The show begins with Rocky tackling a pile of laundry and dismissing Emile who is now trying harder than ever to win her heart. She needs maturity, experience, and someone who can handle his liquor. Connie Arias decides to jump ship from her cabin with Emile in favor of bunking up with Kate Chastain. Kate is thrilled because she’s much rather share living space with a friend than Don’s unknown replacement. In the kitchen, Emile shares with chef Leon Walker that he plans to head to California to win over Rocky’s family. Delusional, party of one? Leon joins the majority in thinking that Emile is clueless about girls, and Amy Johnson agrees as she hears Rocky’s recap of the date. There is a reason why Captain Lee Rosbach likes to keep yacht crew hook-ups to a minimum.
We haven’t heard much from Angela “Big Ang” Raiola recently as the beloved reality star has been battling throat cancer. However, after opting for two major surgeries instead of chemotherapy, the Mob Wives scene-stealer is recovering well after doctors removed a tumor the size of a lemon from her throat.
Big Ang is rarely filmed for the VH1 series without an ever-present cigarette dangling from her giant painted lips, but that is no longer the case. Diagnosed in March, Big Ang immediately gave up the nasty habit cold turkey. She’s ready to be back in business, and her struggle with cancer, as well as relationship stresses with husband Neil Murphy, will be featured on the upcoming season of Couple’s Therapy.
Do y’all know how frustrating it is to talk to AT&T technical support to complain about spotty internet and cable, explaining I need it for work, only to have the technician (who is in a time zone 12 hours ahead) that I shouldn’t be working so late? Is that the point, ma’am? Gahhh, the things I do for Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. Of course, I don’t want to miss a second of Soulja Boy’s antics, but it’s my job. The people have a right to know how whiny Ray-J is at any given minute and just how shady Teairra Mari is being to her “friends.” Enter Hazel-E. We all know the history between these ladies is complicated, but I believe that Teairra always holds the upper hand. Hazel gets her former roommate to concede to an inappropriate relationship with Berg where her music was concerned, there was no knee bending in a back alley. Win-win?
Ray is meeting with newbie Brandi (not his sister, I repeat, not his sister). She’s Whitney Houston’s goddaughter, and her husband Max Lux is a big time producer. If you forget that halfway through the episode, she’ll remind you again. Ray complains about the new found friendship between Princess and Teairra, and Ray makes the mistake of saying he’s going to working with Max on some “music.” Brandi is fully aware what it means for Max and Ray to work together….side chicks.