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atl reunion 3

Y'all, I know you were as excited as I was to see the insanity unfold on last night's Love & Hip Hop ReunionMona Scott-Young is moving up in the hosting world and now has her own reunion band.  Touting the season as a Hip HOpera (why didn't I think of that??), she breaks down the drama from the past season before introducing the cast.  It's like a technicolor explosion.  Between K. Michelle's hair, Ariane's blue lipstick (yes, blue), Erica Dixon's eye make-up, and Mimi Faust's orange dress, I feel like I just woke up in Oz.  Kirk Frost gets booed, which he laughs off, because, hey, even he knows what a d-bag he is!  He is dressed like an extra on Miami Vice, by the way.

Mona is no idiot, so she immediately pits Joseline Hernandez against Mimi, and the requisite derogatory name-calling, cussing, and hopping off the sofa ensues.  Stevie J. stands up proudly, basking in the two women fighting over him.  Mimi assures him that he's sorely mistaken, right before dodging Joseline's stiletto.  We're off to a running start, I'd say.  We are treated to a highlight reel of all the frenemy feuds.  Ariane is the only sane one of the group.

After bringing up the status of Mimi and K. Michelle's friendship, Mimi rolls her eyes and tells Mona to ask K.  K. then compliments Mimi on her orange dress (it is pretty), and you could cut the tension with a knife.  Apparently Ariane's bridge building lessons weren't well received.  Speaking of failed peacemakers, Traci tries to share her intentions to get Erica and Shay speak about their issues.  Erica wonders if this is season two, not a rerun of season one, while Shay reminds Erica that she still isn't married to Lil' Scrappy.

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rhonj5

Last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey was all very…orange.  From Caroline Manzo's hair as she bossed around her family and tried broker a treaty between Jacqueline Laurita and Teresa Giudice to Joe Gorga's billboard extravaganza, orange was definitely the color scheme.  Thankfully, it's a color I like.  What I don't like is all the underhanded quips and lack of accountability, but I've learned that behavior is par for the course with this crowd!

Melissa Gorga takes her boys to visit Joe at the job site and he gets a call asking him to model on a tanning salon billboard. Mel doesn't want to join him in his highway advertising debut because Tre once did a commercial for the same salon. What a throwback!  Melissa doesn't want Teresa to assume she's copying her yet again.  She's content just to drive the bulldozer. All of the bouncing and shrieking and "make it stop" is probably something Joe is used to hearing in the bedroom.

Teresa is hosting the first family dinner in ages. She has her girls help her prepare the table, and they are excited to see their cousins. Teresa asks the always entertaining Melania if she plans to cook for her husband when she grows up.  Um no.  Melania's husband will definitely be cooking for her.

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shaunie-oneal-bbw-s5

Someone start playing the violin because Basketball Wives' Shaunie O'Neal has a sad story to tell.  Not only is her show criticized left and right for portraying women in a hateful, bitter, and violent light (she's working on that, y'all!), but now she may have given someone the boot far too soon.

That's right!  Shaunie is having second thoughts about canning former friend Jennifer Williams.  While Nostrils doesn't lose any sleep over firing Royce Reed, she's starting to feel melancholy about dear ol' Jenn.

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sister wives 2

Last night's Sister Wives was lacking all the whine that has been present for last few weeks.  Thankfully, I wasn't lacking in wine.  Sometimes it takes a little pinot noir for me to watch Robyn, Meri, Christine, and Janelle fight for Kody Brown's affections.  Hey, I get it…that hair would make me a fool for love too!

Robyn has got to be over the moon.  Not two short weeks ago, no one wanted to be involved in My Sister Wives Closet, but now business-minded Janelle realizes it could be the perfect avenue to create a line of modest exercise gear.  Christine is also hopping on the bandwagon after she got the tragic news that realtor actually have to do work, so that job prospect is out of the question.  She wants to market the business with some t-shirts, but Kody doesn't want to cheapen the company with fumpy gimmicks.  For someone who didn't want to be a part of this gig, Kody sure is vocal.  Robyn jokes that Kody needs to put on his big boy panties.  Has he done something different with his beard?  Dead sexy.

Janelle is getting frustrated with the plateau in her weight loss goals.  While she was consistently losing weight in the beginning, the numbers aren't getting lower now.  Janelle counts her calories and works out an hour a day, six days a week.  Her trainer convinces her to bring in her scale.  He wonders why Janelle is focused on the number on the scale when now she's running and getting stronger.  He makes her take a sledgehammer to the scale, and Janelle feels liberated.  She then models some pants that are now several sizes too big, and she realizes that she is making major progress.

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Danielle Staub

What is it with the ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey?  Not only are they living above their means, but when they are forced to declare bankruptcy, they get accused of lying to hide assets.

On the heels of the news of Teresa and Joe Giudice's multiple indictments, Tre's former co-star and table flip victim Danielle Staub is making sure the same thing doesn't happen to her.

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Screening of NBC's 'The Voice' Season 4 at TCL Chinese Theatre

What makes for better reality television than the scorned exes of television?  You know the answer is "not much" if you keep up with the ladies of Hollywood Exes!  Now, it's being reported that two more celebrities' former wives are hoping to score their own show.

If that's the case, CeeLo Green and Usher should be shaking in their ridiculously expensive shoes, because Christina Shanta Johnson and Tameka Foster (the men's respective exes) want to be reality stars!  As you know, of course, both divorces were nasty, nasty, nasty!  

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big-ang

There is never a dull moment for VH1's breakout star Big Ang.  Not only is the lip injected, boobalicious, tat-happy Staten Island lady the voice of reason on the network's Mob Wives, she has scored her second spin-off!  It just proves my theory that there is no such thing as too much Ang!

After anchoring the light-hearted show Big Ang, the Drunken Monkey owner decided to try her hand at expanding her brand (and bar!) to Miami. With a new watering hole comes a whole new series…clearly!  Mob Wives creator–and Renee Graziano's sister–Jennifer Graziano shared the new via Instagram earlier, and this girl couldn't be more excited!

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american-idol-season-12-ratings

Forgive me, but I didn't realize that American Idol was still going to be churning out seasons.  I used to be addicted to the original talent showcase…and not just for the crazy first round auditions.  On that note, do we know what William Hung is doing right now?

Once the show started trading out judges like Housewives trade out Hermes bags and cocktails, it seemed to be on a constant decline.  My dawg Randy Jackson, the only original judge remaining, decided to cut his losses after the most recent season, and his counterparts have been quitting left and right.  Keith Urban appears to be the only one who has any interest remaining on the sinking ship.  

However–and I never saw this coming–there are loud rumblings that the show is in talks to bring back a former judge who I'd actually tune in to see.  I never gave much thought to Jenny from the Block, but I'll readily admit that I really enjoyed Jennifer Lopez on Idol.  If she returns to judging, maybe I'll return to watching!

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