Can you sing the alphabet? You needn't go far…"A-B-C-D" Okay stop. You have reached the letter that encapsulates this entire blog post. D. As in D-List…if I'm being generous. VH1's Couples Therapy is awesome at bringing the most irrelevant and desperate reality couples together for one last ditch attempt at that fifteenth minute.
This season is no different. Producers have reached deep into their vault and resurrected some folks who are going to make for hilariously awful television. We've got some MTV clingers, a clock wearing rapper (I do love him), and a purveyor of topless ladies…just to name a few. It should be a very interesting mix, that's for sure!
Speaking to E! about her recent pre-marriage festivities, Tamra shares, "We had a great time at the bachelorette party, it was nice to kick back with a Cuca Fresca cocktail after working so hard between planning a wedding and being at [my gym] C.U.T. Fitness everyday." Wow, I'm impressed she was able to effortlessly plug the party's sponsor, her new business, and her upcoming televised wedding in one seamless sentence. Genius!
I'm starting to realize that the girls of Teen Mom don't have to follow the rules like us regular folks. I don't know how I'm JUST NOW coming to this realization, because clearly, I'm behind the curve. Let's take Jenelle Evans, for instance.
The reality star has been in-and-out of jail just as many times as she's been in off-and-on relationships with jackholes…and if you know anything about Jenelle's love life (or happen to follow her on Twitter–same thing!), you know that that is a heck of a lot!
In a battle of the hard-rocking against the famewhoring, my money will always be on Motley Crue. Iconic hairbander Nikki Sixx had enough of Kim Kardashian's vapid tweeting in light of the utter devastation in Oklahoma on Monday, and I have to applaud him. While many were expressing their sorrow at the horrific tornadoes that tore through the state, a clueless Kim was hawking her cosmetics brand.
Don't get me wrong, I know Kim meant no harm…she wasn't thinking. She never is. However, that's not really an excuse for her anymore. I'd be happy to give anyone a pass for being unknowingly insensitive, but she literally makes a career of it. Thankfully, Nikki said what the rest of the Twitterverse wanted to say.
Tina is extremely dramatic regarding her biological clock, jokingly threatening suicide if she can't get pregnant and accusing Tarz of having lazy sperm. It's a bit much, and by "a bit," I clearly mean it's ridiculous. However, I do feel badly when she gets a negative result on her pregnancy test because she is visibly upset. Meanwhile, four weeks into their marriage, Kathryn is freaking out over a positive test. She's teary, and John is over the moon. He can't wait to tell everyone they know.
Who doesn't love to watch strangers meet, get whisked off to exotic locales, fall in love and find fame get married? It's a tried and true formula, and it almost always works…the fifteen minutes of fame, of course–not the marriage.
ABC's new Bachelorette is hoping that the show's odds are in her favor (or not in her favor…whichever makes her more likely to find a guy she actually likes) after failing to find love with BachelorSean Lowe. Desiree Hartsock, like all the other true believers before her, still thinks that the process can work. Sure.
Speaking of finding love, the shows' host, the dapper Chris Harrison, has apparently done just that. And not with me. Curses!
Traci is going to meet with Drew to talk about their recent blow-up, and she calls them a "family." She reveals that she was so in love with Drew, but I don't think she needs to be using the past tense. Traci gives a little history on their past before dropping off Little Drew with the baby-sitter. Over lunch, she tells Drew that she deserves better than seeing him with different girls and groupies every night. He reminds her that they haven't been a couple in seven years, because she clearly thinks they are still together. When Drew straight-up says he just wants to discuss her investing in his sneaker boutique, she storms out of the restaurant, promising to give him her money once she's calmed down. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea!
Mimi Faust is on a date with her new boyfriend Nikko. She reveals that he's a blast from the past, and she hopes that he will understand that she comes with baggage…in the form of Stevie J. Nikko realizes that everyone has skeletons in their closet, but his aren't haunting him like Mimi's are. Mimi admits that Stevie has given her some major trust issues, and she's worried that Nikko is a music producer like her ex.
You know how those Kardashian sisters roll…always in the midst of a lawsuit. Well it seems that their inability to be creative habit of borrowing ideas is rubbing off on they friend and E! prince Ryan Seacrest who finds himself on the receiving end of an infringement suit.
At least he's not alone, as Khloe KardashianOdom and husband Lamar Odom are about to find themselves in the same boat as dear, ol' Ryan. They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so the state of New York should feel extra special right about now!