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Kim Kardashian at LAX

You know that scene in Ghost when Whoopi Goldberg's character looks at Demi Moore and says, "Molly.  You in danger, girl"?  I picture something like that happening when I think of the recent Kardashian drama…only in my head, Kim Kardashian is Molly and the part of Oda Mae Brown is played by auto-tuned Jonathan Cheban.  Why?  Because Kim was in danger earlier this week!

A foolish paparazzo tried to sneak onto Kris Jenner's property Monday, and the mother-daughter duo retaliated in a flurry of cell phone footage and hashtags.  Hashtags?  I hope she has a permit for those!

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teresa-giudice-full

I'm convinced if their businesses bazillion ventures fail or they bid farewell to reality television (either by choice or incarceration), the women of Real Housewives of New Jersey could make fabulous livings as spin instructors.  They certainly must get a good work out changing their stories every five seconds.  All of the women are guilty of it, but Teresa Giudice and sister-in-law Melissa Gorga are shining professionals when it comes to spinning their version of events to make them the good guy.  Hey, at least it's entertaining!

After being accused of threatening Melissa in her blog last week, Teresa clarifies her words in yesterday's Bravo entry.  She promises that all of the family (well, maybe not ALL of them…she implies that one little lady is still up to her evil ways) is trying to make things better after that dramatic retreat.  Tre writes, "What did you think of the Miracle at St. George? I think I haven't cried that much in my whole life. I cried all over again watching it. All this nonsense about our family not getting along for 10 years just isn't true."

Teresa continues, "You can tell from how we were at the end of the episode — cooking and laughing and enjoying each other like close families do. I wish I could have had every one of you in the room with us to feel the love. You deserve it after watching our darkest moments! Thank you all so much for keeping the faith in my family!"  No problem, Billy Joel!  Happy to oblige.  Teresa is right on that front…we have seen a lot of darkness with the women of RHONJ, and I for one welcomed the reprieve!

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joseline

Has the season of Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta already flown past us in a flurry of unblinged Rolexes, popcorn hos, no-necks, cabin fever (and flings!), and Joseline Hernandez one-liners?  Sadly, it appears so.  Last night was the season finale, and wow.  I don't know if Stevie J. totally appalls me, or if I should be impressed by his sheer ego induced stupidity.

The episode begins with Stevie asking Joseline to clarify her question.  She spells it out that she is asking him to marry her.  He's not willing to say yes, but he likes the ring so he'll wear it.  Joseline is special to him…and she buys him expensive gifts.  Stevie thinks that patience is a virtue, and Joseline is thrilled that he's kind enough to wear the token of her undying devotion.  Someone get her some self-esteem STAT.

Rasheeda invites Traci Reece, Erica Dixon, and Karlie Redd over for cocktails and nursery painting.  She reveals that she's having a boy…and that she's consulted an attorney about her situation with husband Kirk Frost.  Erica is saddened.  Whose dysfunctional relationship can she look up to now?  Speaking of, Rasheeda asks about Lil' Scrappy and his problem with the wiz-nigh-ee.

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sisters

While Kody Brown's hair may be my most favorite thing ever, the whole concept of Sister Wives is a bit off-putting.  Perhaps if the women weren't so whiny, I could see why they'd all want to spend time together, but, alas, that isn't the case.  However, I do enjoy the episodes that showcase the family's teenagers.

These kids are smart, mature, and seem to think for themselves.  While Logan is Kody's mini-me, Janelle's daughter Madison totally speaks her mind.  They didn't ask to be brought into this lifestyle.  Being a teenager is hard enough, but being a teenager with three extra moms, a bed-hopping dad, and a gajillion half siblings–I can't imagine!

However, in Sunday's episode, Meri's daughter Mariah reveals that she wouldn't want her life any other way, and the seventeen-year-old is looking forward to the day when she has her own sister wives.  

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sister wives

I can't apologize enough for being late to the game with last week's debut of Sister Wives.  Sometimes, I pine so much for Kody Brown's glorious mane that I lose sight of everything else…even the show itself.  Of course, the premiere showed Robyn and Meri fight for My Sister Wives Closet when Kody, Janelle, and Christine aren't necessarily jiving with the "hobby."  In a nutshell, the baubles bomb at a local jewelry expo, and we are left to wonder–yet again–where the Browns will get the money for their dream cul-de-sac.

Last night's episode gave viewers a peek into what the ladies do in their daily lives when it's not their night to spend with Kody.  {heebie jeebies}  Kody also laments that he feels like a constant vagabond skipping from one far-flung rental home to another.  Janelle is hard at work in the gym, and she's starting to see some progress with her weight loss goal.  While she feels kind of like a single mom, she hasn't totally hated exploring her independence away from the family chaos.  You know she's going to be the first to cut and run from this disaster.

Robyn is getting on Kody and the other wives for not being as involved in My Sister Wives Closet.  Kody is concerned that people will mistake his attempts to sell trinket jewelry as patrolling for wife number five.  Christine and Janelle are not on board…they really want to pursue their real estate careers.  Janelle's kids are feeling the pressure of the family's stress, and Janelle is breaking up fights left and right while Kody tries to relax.  There is kicking and screaming and door slamming and video game confiscation and swearing.  Perhaps TLC should consider a Super Nanny crossover?  Janelle calls for reinforcement in the form Goldilocks while the boys rumble.  As Kody tries to discipline his boys, he explains that he often feels like a visitor and has less credibility with his family.  Ding, ding, ding!  We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen!

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OK! Magazine's SO SEXY event

When you're a housewife making money off your wares and tomes and cocktails, you've got to strike while the iron is hot…and your brand is still making money.  Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Brandi Glanville is no dummy, and she's following the Bravo formula to a T.

On the heels of her wildly successful Drinking and Tweeting, Brandi is ready is to get to work on a follow-up book.  The wild Bravolebrity promises a no holes barred look at her life, love, and crazy antics, and there is no doubt that readers will be treated to plenty of Brandi's brash humor and jaw-dropping one-liners.

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bethenny-frankel-talk-show

It's been a rough few weeks for former Bethenny Ever After star Bethenny Frankel.  Not only is her divorce from Jason Hoppy becoming more and more contentious, there are rumors that things aren't peachy keen with the upcoming season of her daytime talk show.

Page Six is reporting that there is some major discord surrounding the talk show which is helmed by the reality star turned mogul…and Bethenny's attitude is to blame.  Sources close to the show tell the site that Bethenny is "very particular and difficult," and it's already turning off some of her employees.

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a & e upfronts 3 090512

Y'all know I adore the Robertson family, so I am filling up on A&E reruns like Uncle Si fills up on his daily two gallons of sweet tea.  In just three seasons, Duck Dynasty has become the number one nonfiction cable series, and the boys are on track to sell more than 750,000 duck calls this year…which is quite the jump from the 60,000 sold in 2011.

Willie, Jase, Si, and brother Phil recently shared the secrets to their success, how they remain grounded, and what's behind their scripted shenanigans…all while cracking jokes of their own.  I so love this fam!

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