I've never had more of a conflicting feeling when recapping a new show. On one hand, I couldn't wait for the train wreck that is Bravo's Southern Charm. On the other hand, it's a train wreck that's filmed in my backyard of Charleston, South Carolina. Okay, so maybe it's not technically my backyard because I am certainly not living South of Broad (anymore…I did rent a carriage house for two years in law school that was in the exclusive area blocks from the Battery, but it didn't have central air or any form of heat which made it less hoity-toity!), but this is a small town. Everywhere I went yesterday I heard people talking about the show with equal parts disgust and intrigue…which is exactly how I approached it! I do have to applaud Bravo for finally making dudes look like total d-bags instead of focusing on women who eat, sleep, and breathe drama.
And so it begins. In the opening montage, I see my office and my church. It's surreal, but I have a feeling it's something I'm going to have to get used to as the season progresses. I apologize in advance for being all "fan girl" over the city…not the participants in this debacle! Thomas Ravenel, the state's former treasurer, is just ridiculous. I'm going to have the hardest time not being horribly snarky when it comes to T-Rav. I once saw him making out at an oyster bar, and it was sloppy. Then he went to jail. As he's being introduced, co-star Whitney Sudler-Smith (who is also listed as an executive producer on the show…really, Andy Cohen?) does a spot-on interpretation of the name-dropping Southerner. T-Rav opens by reinventing himself on a radio show. Good times.
What's one way to keep your name in the news when you're a former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star? Well, just talk about how much you'd never return to the show (is Bravo asking? Doubtful.)…unless you got paid a lot of money. So you're saying there's a chance…
Adrienne Maloof is still taking to task the franchise that made her a Bravolebrity, while hinting that she wouldn't turn down the chance to return if the price was right. Maybe Bravo will decide to give her a wedding spin-off if she does, in fact, marry her child-groom. I'd watch. Not.
Do reality stars ever just fade off into obscurity or is it in their DNA to keep looking for the next show? I don't think I have a thick enough skin for a reality career, and after being embarrassed by my behavior on national television, I think the last thing I'd want to do was to find another way to look like an idiot in front of millions.
However, there is a reason I'm not a reality star, and there's a reason why they are so entertaining. No matter what, they don't give up on jumping from show to show, network to network to extend their already too long fifteen minutes of fame. It's now time for Cynthia Bailey's husband Peter Thomas to find the next big deal to keep him on our small screens. The Real Housewives of Atlanta star is hoping to channel his inner Lisa Vanderpump!
Wow. Just when I thought Tamra Judge couldn't get any tackier or more hateful, she goes and does something incredibly gross and mean girl. I guess it's just par for the course with the Real Housewives of Orange County star. I'm not even going to try to be nice on this one.
Tamra recently was insulted by a follower on Facebook, and Tamra responded in just the most horrific way. Now, I'm not saying it's okay for someone to say ugly things behind the anonymity of the computer (wait, what am I doing now? #irony), but reality stars put themselves out there for the public to admire or deplore, and they should probably have somewhat of a thick skin. Again, I don't condone regular old folks bashing them on social media, but geez, Tamra, take the high road!
Do y'all miss Brooke Bailey on this season of Basketball Wives: LA? That's what I thought. While Brooke was likeable on the show, I didn't feel like she had much of a story line unless she was fighting with Jackie Christie or feuding with former friend Draya Michele. She just didn't seem to be around a lot.
Of course, don't feel bad for Brooke no longer being featured on everyone's guilty pleasure of a train wreck. Wanting to set an example for her two children, Brooke has gone back to school and is focused on her new cleanse and lingerie line. Would she consider reality television again? Well, what do you think! As long as it's drama-free! Drama-free reality television? That's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one!
In her Bravo blog this week, Cynthia begins, "Hello everyone! Welcome back to another drama filled episode of the Real Housewives of Atlanta! Let’s jump right on in!"
After wishing Peter the most happiest of birthdays, Cynthia dives right in to discuss the beef between her husband and her best friend. She writes, "I was a little upset with Peter the next morning (after Kenya's event) for confronting NeNe(although she actually confronted him), because I did not think it was the right time to talk. The night had already taken a turn for the worst, and I didn't see the point in trying to fix something that was already broken. Had NeNe not gotten out of her car, walked over to Peter, and initiated the conversation with Peter, there would not have been a reason for him to be in her face acting like a bitch, right? It was pretty clear that his conversation was directed to me. So I don't know who the monster was that was waiting at the top of the hill, because the only thing that Peter was waiting for was his car to leave."
Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! Lisa, Lisa, Lisa! So the great Lisa Vanderpump take-down of 2014 was an epic failure (who couldn't see that coming from a mile away?), and now those involved are quickly backpedaling and rephrasing and all around trying to appear more likable instead of catty thirteen-year-olds who snubbed someone in the cafeteria. Those ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are something else, aren't they?
First, Kyle Richardsplayed the victim in her Bravo blog talking about how hard it is to relive the aftermath of people talking about the rumors of Mauricio's wandering dong eye. Is it just me, or is she the main person who keeps rehashing it? Next, Yolanda Foster straight up says she never saw Lisa put the contraband 'loids in Brandi Glanville's suitcase which is pretty contradictory to her behavior in Puerto Rico. Now we're hearing from ol' Truth Cannons. She's hurt. She cares. She's hurt because she cares. You know the drill.
Okay. So, wow. Last night's Mob Wives reunion took a page out of the Shahs of Sunset debacle with a sit down dinner hosted by Sherri Shepherd. Big Ang is wearing a sequined hoodie that was definitely inspired by the great Whitney Houston's role in The Bodyguard. I really don't know what else to say. Sherri announces that the women have joined together to break bread instead of breaking tables. That's a plus.
Right off the bat, Sherri asks Alicia diMichele Garofalo about where her sentencing stands. Alicia reveals that because the restitution portion of her case has yet to be settled, the judge had to postpone her sentencing. We are then treated to highlights of the colossal beat down drama between Natalie Guercio and Renee Graziano. The women laugh that Ang, who gets along with everyone, was wary of Natalie, while Renee initially thought Natalie was her mini-me. I don't think I've ever seen a more hilarious video montage than one themed "Delicious." Renee calls the comment rude, and Sherri tries to impart that Natalie was trying to pay her beau a compliment. In no way does Renee think that Natalie was hitting on her man, but she finds the term incredibly disrespectful. Drita D'avanzo agrees, but not the extent that Renee does. Remind me that if I ever find myself at meal cooked by Renee to have a pocketful of synonyms!