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osbournes-sharon-quits-agt-jack-ms-diagnosis

I think we can pretty much credit MTV with the birth of reality television thanks to the explosion of The Real World, but it didn't stop there. Think about all of the families we watch on a weekly basis, from the Robertsons to the Kardashians to everyone in between. Where did the madness begin? Some may say with a ride on the crazy train courtesy of The Osbournes.  Don't act like you didn't watch!

We saw Jack and Kelly Osbourne grow up on camera (although eldest daughter Amy didn't participate) with the always hilarious chirping busybody of a "mum" Sharon and bumbling, mumbling former death metal star Ozzy.  And, of course, don't forget their tiny pooches! Now Kelly is a fashion consultant for E! and Jack is family man–how precious is his wife? (pictured with him and his parents above)–currently competing on Dancing with the Stars…but do they ever think about going back to the days of reality television's first family?

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brandi-glanville-kyle-richards-rhobh

TGIF, y'all! We've got the two newest best buds of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills making announcements today, so get excited! First up, Brandi Glanville is ready to move on after her nasty split from Eddie Cibrian (catch him on The Vine courtesy of new wife LeAnn Rimes #getthismananactinggig), but she isn't planning another walk down the aisle.

Also, Kyle Richards wants you to be as fashion forward as she is, and she's starting an affordable clothing line so we viewers can spend our days walking around in colorful, beaded parachutes. Score!

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preachers of l.a. cast

Think we're the only ones watching the heavenly hoopla that is Preachers of L.A.? Of course not!  The reality show has gotten people talking about praise, prayer, and prosperity preachers who seem to be making more money than God through their ministries.

Reality star veteran Omarosa is also urging viewers to tune into Oxygen's latest offering. The former Apprentice villain is no stranger to non-scripted drama, and she is also now an assistant pastor at a Baptist Church.

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In Touch the sixth annual ICONS & IDOLS

Did I miss something? Is this National Hangers-On Week or did I get the dates wrong?

After former Real Housewives of New York star Jill Zarin felt the need to wax poetic about the state of Ramona Singer's marriage, Angelina Pivarnick is coming out of the woodwork to challenge Snooki, JWoww, and Deena Cortese to a celebrity boxing match. There's just one small problem–I think you have to actually be some sort of celebrity to make those kind of challenges?

Oh that's right. "Jolie" (I could have told her that self-inflicted nickname wouldn't stick!) is famous for leaving Jersey Shore with her matching luggage courtesy of Hefty Cinchsack…

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jill-ramona

Oh dear. Move on, Jill Zarin. Move on. Pick up that last shred of dignity, head back to Zarin Fabrics, and live life as if Bravo had never happened. Please.  Not just for our sake, but for yours too. It's time.

What? You didn't expect Jill to run to the media when the news of the Mario Singer cheating scandal exploded? She has to give her two cents on all things Real Housewives of New York while promising to, ahem, support frienemy Ramona Singer. Wait, it gets better. Mario totes hit on Jill, y'all! Sure he did.

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Preachers LA Jay

Last night's Preachers of L.A. was all about the ladies! While Deitrick Haddon and his fiance Dominique planned for their big day (so they could finally live under the same roof without "shackin"), Pastor Ron Gibson and his wife LaVette took it upon themselves to pray over Noel Jones and his friendship with LorettaClarence McClendon missed the party, but Jay Haizlip's  wife Christy and Wayne Chaney's first lady Myesha began to forge a fledgling friendship.

Well hello, Wayne!  We missed you last week!  His wife Myesha is hanging a poster of herself in his office, and she's hosting a tea party for pastors' wives. She wants to create a community of first ladies in the church. Not shockingly, all of the prosperity preachers' ladies are on guest list, although Myesha is on the fence about Noel's "friend" Loretta. You know, because Noel claims she's just a friend, yeah he claims she's just a friend (Oh, baby, you…you got what I nee-eed). Meanwhile, Ron is shoe shopping with some gang members to get them some proper church shoes. He wants Rick Dogg to see that there is so much to living running the streets.

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si scarecrow

What is this world coming to? Seriously! I am quickly losing faith in humankind.  First, Kim Kardashian gets engaged for a third time, and I have yet to rent space on my ring finger to any cubic zirconia, much less a fifteen carat diamond.  Then, my love Pauly D goes and fathers a child behind my back (come to think of it, maybe my attraction to Pauly D has something to do with the caliber of guys I find who aren't proposing—and that's likely a good thing!), and now someone has just gone too far.  TOO FAR!

You want to smash the pumpkin on my front porch?  Go for it, you punk vandal. Your sticky fingers want to take more than your fair share of the candy I leave out on Halloween? Eat away, chubs! But do not, I repeat, DO NOT, defile all that is good and decent in the world…namely Duck Dynasty's Uncle Si Robertson!

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si-robertson

In the immortal words of Stephanie Tanner, "How rude!" Is this what the world is coming to? Families decorate for fall only to have their hard work stolen during the dark of night? For shame. This news makes me anything but happy, happy, happy!

Duck Dynasty fans and decent people in general from Ball Ground, Georgia are appalled after the town's favorite scarecrow went missing last Wednesday. The scarecrow, sporting camouflage, was a dead ringer for Uncle Si.

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