Marsha, Marsha, Marsha! Lisa, Lisa, Lisa! So the great Lisa Vanderpump take-down of 2014 was an epic failure (who couldn't see that coming from a mile away?), and now those involved are quickly backpedaling and rephrasing and all around trying to appear more likable instead of catty thirteen-year-olds who snubbed someone in the cafeteria. Those ladies of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills are something else, aren't they?
First, Kyle Richardsplayed the victim in her Bravo blog talking about how hard it is to relive the aftermath of people talking about the rumors of Mauricio's wandering dong eye. Is it just me, or is she the main person who keeps rehashing it? Next, Yolanda Foster straight up says she never saw Lisa put the contraband 'loids in Brandi Glanville's suitcase which is pretty contradictory to her behavior in Puerto Rico. Now we're hearing from ol' Truth Cannons. She's hurt. She cares. She's hurt because she cares. You know the drill.
Okay. So, wow. Last night's Mob Wives reunion took a page out of the Shahs of Sunset debacle with a sit down dinner hosted by Sherri Shepherd. Big Ang is wearing a sequined hoodie that was definitely inspired by the great Whitney Houston's role in The Bodyguard. I really don't know what else to say. Sherri announces that the women have joined together to break bread instead of breaking tables. That's a plus.
Right off the bat, Sherri asks Alicia diMichele Garofalo about where her sentencing stands. Alicia reveals that because the restitution portion of her case has yet to be settled, the judge had to postpone her sentencing. We are then treated to highlights of the colossal beat down drama between Natalie Guercio and Renee Graziano. The women laugh that Ang, who gets along with everyone, was wary of Natalie, while Renee initially thought Natalie was her mini-me. I don't think I've ever seen a more hilarious video montage than one themed "Delicious." Renee calls the comment rude, and Sherri tries to impart that Natalie was trying to pay her beau a compliment. In no way does Renee think that Natalie was hitting on her man, but she finds the term incredibly disrespectful. Drita D'avanzo agrees, but not the extent that Renee does. Remind me that if I ever find myself at meal cooked by Renee to have a pocketful of synonyms!
If you're tuning into the this season's Teen Mom 2, you know that the girls are still bringing the drama and immaturity you've grown to expect from this group of mothers of the year. While some are trying much harder than others, there is no denying the heartache that Leah Messer Simms Calvert and ex-husband Corey Simms' are going through as they deal with daughter Ali's diagnosis in front of MTV's cameras.
Leah and Corey have twin girls, one of whom was diagnosed with a rare form of muscular dystrophy after years of trying to determine the cause of her developmental delays. While the disorder could eventually leave precious Ali wheelchair bound, Leah is excited to see that her daughter is beating the odds.
So there are whisperings that Brooke Burke-Charvet'ssudden departure from Dancing With the Stars in favor of sportscaster Erin Andrews is due to ABC's desire to draw more male viewers to the competition show. Um, is Erin planning on being naked for the duration of the upcoming season? I really don't think there is another way to get young guys to watch a ballroom dancing competition that should have tapped its way off our small screens a while ago…and I still watch religiously!
Brooke, who co-hosted with Tom Bergeron for seven seasons, is reportedly "in shock" from being fired, but she's handling it like the classy champ she is. Bad move, DWTS. Bad move…although I do love some Erin.
All Joyce Giraud wanted to do was bond with friends and see her family while mourning the recent loss of her father. Poor thing should've known better! After all hell breaks loose on the everyone versus Lisa front, Kyle is left confused by Brandi's story and Lisa's staunch denial. Y'all know I'm a Lisa fan through and through, but do I think she tried to get Brandi to bring those rag mags to the ladies' vacay? Of course I do. Was it catty? Sure, but that's how these women operate. That said, do I think that the Kyle/Brandi/Yo trio handled themselves like some sixth grade mean girls? Yup. I, for once, agree with Kyle (do I have a fever?)–had Lisa just played it off and admitted her part in a tasteless joke, the whole trip would have played out much differently.
You know, as much as I blame Ray J for the whole Kardashian kerfluffle, I don't think Ryan Seacrest is totally without fault. After all, the E! mastermind keeps renewing their show season after season and promoting their shenanigans every chance he can. His most recent infraction occurred when he had Kim Kardashian on his radio show yesterday to talk about what she claims will be her "super, super-small intimate" wedding to the tiny rapper.
While we're on the subject of Keeping up with the Kardashians star, some yahoo is calling Kim the "Marilyn Monroe of our age." Yes, you read that right…and for once it's not Kanye West (even though he's made that lame comparison in the past). Do people just throw around Norma Jeane's name without knowing anything about her? Kim is nothing like Marilyn…and would she even want to be? What a tragic life.
I am really having a hard time watching this mess. I can't even think of a witty introduction to last night's Dance Moms because I personally want to rip that bump-it out of Abby Lee Miller's hair every time she speaks. The girls have gone from fun-loving talents to terrified robots. Shame on her.
Abby, Melissa, and her daughters arrive in Los Angeles so that MacKenzie can get into the recording studio. What is Abby now? A pop star manufacturer? Abby wants to make sure that MacKenzie has the personality and energy to be a mini-Katy Perry. She interrupts the session to tell the poor girl that she is performing like Brooke, and that isn't a compliment. MacKenzie puts a little oomph into her singing, and Abby is finally seeing her star potential…at least one of us is. She and Abby head back to Pittsburgh while Maddie stays behind for a performance of her own.
With the start of the pyramid, Abby reminds the girls that she is looking for a dancer to be her Maddie when Maddie is off doing more important things…like a job in L.A. Nia is at the bottom because of her headpiece debacle, followed by Kendall. She's clearly the reason that her duet with Kalani didn't place first as Kalani and Maddie took the top prize in their duet. Of course, Kalani learns a bit about Abby and her fickle ways when she goes from the top of they pyramid to the bottom row. Chloe is third and praised for her duet Maddie, but she needs to work on her facial expressions. MacKenzie is in second for her brilliant work with the candy box in the group number. Christi wonders why MacKenzie is above Chloe after Chloe won both of her dances. Duh, Christi! The candy box! When Maddie is once again in the top spot, Jill scoff that it's predictable.
Well, I'm not going to say this is at all surprising. No sooner had Jenelle Evans' husband gotten released from prison that there is now a warrant issued for his arrest. It's shocking to me that the Teen Mom 2 star wants to divorce Courtland Rogers when the pair clearly has so much in common. Bonding over multiple jail stints totally should have been the strong foundation on which to build their marriage.
But, alas, Courtland is likely on his way back to big house due to recent antics…and by antics, I mean stealing from a friend who was trying to help him get into treatment. Don't bite the hand feeds you, Courtland! It seems that his pal Katie McMillan invited him into her home at Wrightsville Beach, North Carolina and hoped to get him help for his addiction issues. He repaid her by stealing, and subsequently trying to pawn, her jewelry.