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Duck Dynasty

If you're not watching Duck Dynasty, you're really missing out on fun-filled, family-friendly, drama-free "reality" television.  However, I'm guessing that the majority of you ARE watching because season three's one hour finale was record-breaking.  A&E's gem garnered 9.6 million viewers making it the most watched show on Wednesday night, blowing normal competitors like American Idol and Survivor out of the water.

Entertainment Weekly has the numbers, and it's truly phenomenal.  American Idol only had a 3.3 rating on Wednesday, with Survivor scoring a 2.9 rating.  The Robertson's series averaged 8.4 million total viewers per episode this season which is up 95% from its sophomore season, delivering a 4.3 rating among adults 18-49. Clearly, Soncie has been spreading the word to get folks to watch her beloved Si!  Numbers like this have catapulted the series to into ratings gold, making it the cable's most watched reality show so far this year.  If that wasn't enough, Duck Dynasty is the second most watched show (reality or otherwise!) behind AMC's Walking Dead.  Way to go, Robertsons, and keep it coming!

To celebrate the monumentous occasion, A&E tweeted the above picture.  It's proof positive that you can never, ever have too much camo.

TELL US-ARE YOU SURPRISED THAT THE ROBERTSONS DOMINATED AMERICAN IDOL?

[Photo Credit: A&E/Twitter]

jenelle-evans-mugshot-4-13

Hey Jenelle Evans, if you scream it loud enough, someone may believe you!  The Teen Mom 2 star is trying to convince anyone who will listen that she is clueless (at least she's not lying about that part!) about how heroin got into her house.

You may recall that the reality star was arrested on Tuesday for possession of heroin and Percocet…oh, and assault.  I've come to the conclusion that the authorities in North Carolina have a box labeled "and assault" that they are trained to check whenever a Jenelle arrest occurs.  I swear, this chick could be collared for jay walking and an assault would be involved…as she'd probably threaten to push other pedestrians into oncoming traffic.  Geez.

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G.I. Joe, Retaliation Premiere

I'll be honest, I think the entire cast of Real Housewives of New York needs to be revamped…and STAT.  I was actually excited that Aviva Drescher and all of her neuroses wouldn't be returning, but of course Bravo had to pull a fast one on all of us!  It looks like Pinot Singer will have someone to spar with after all!

While I'm not at all shocked that Bravo would pull a last minute rabbit out of its hat, I do have to commend Aviva for what she has been doing recently regarding the tragedy in Boston.  I may not like to watch her on my mindless reality circuit (seriously, it's like nails on a chalkboard), I do believe that she always has the best (although often misguided) of intentions.

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24th Annual GLAAD Media Awards

While it was definitely time for MTV's Jersey Shore to go gently into that good night, that didn't mean the show's stars planned to go with it!  Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley scored their own spin-off while the series was still going strong, and DJ Pauly D Delvecchio did a (very) brief stint on his own series The Pauly D Project.

Now, Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino is getting into the mix.  Oh Lord, no.  I'd rather watch Rawn and Sam throw caboodles and sausages at one another for thirty minutes a week than put up with more of Mike's ab flashing.  At least my boy Vinny Guadagnino will have The Show with Vinny to offset his friend's oiliness.  We've got a Situation here!

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basketball.wives.4.shaunie.oneal

Cue the veiled attempts to sweep the ugliness that is Basketball Wives under the rug!  Forget all about wine-bottle hurling, table jumping, and rotten fish pranks, Shaunie O'Neal is morphing from being a puppet master for the violent antics of others into a legitimate do-gooder.  More power to her!

Even better?  She's teaming with everyone's favorite (props to you, Taylor Armstrong!) legitimate doctor, Dr. Charles Sophy, to make it happen.  Look out, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder!  Shaunie has a cause, and it's focused (no pun intended) on you!  I kid, I kid.  Kudos to Shaunie for what she's doing to help the less fortunate who have children suffering from ADHD.  

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dd5

NOOOOOooooooooooooo!  In what has to be the shortest "season" in television history, this season of Duck Dynasty ended last night in an hour of awesomeness…Hawaiian style.  Willie, Si, Jase, and Phil treat their family to a much needed island vacay, and, as always, hilarity ensues.  I'm going to miss the Robertson group.  Thank goodness for re-runs!

Si makes the mistake of going to see the movie Ted, and he's scarred for life.  What's next?  Care Bear gangs?  Paddington Bear doing drugs?  Pooh holding Piglet hostage?  Oh, the humanity.  As he shares his cinematic mishap with Jase, he's upset to learn from Jep that Willie now expects them all to work standing up in the warehouse.  Willie has installed a bunch of desks that move upwards on hydraulic lifts.  When Jase confronts his brother for his new productivity initiative, he explains to Willie that they need to quit working so hard and take a day–or six–off from the daily grind.

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hip3

The original Love & Hip Hop needs to realize that no one ever cared about it once Love & Hip Hop Atlanta came into existence.  It just ended last week, and I'd be hard pressed to name all of the cast members (although, in my defense there were oodles of them!), and I had to watch it every week!

Now, in an effort to remain relevant (never gonna happen), the casting rumors for next season are already starting to swirl.  I find this hilarious given that the season hasn't even been renewed yet!  First on the chopping block is Consequence and his Christmas tradition loving girlfriend and baby mama Jen Bayer.  Surely Mona Scott-Young has to love the racially and religiously charged drama they bring to the show…

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miss usa 5 040612

Holy TMI, Batman!  Rob Kardashian is taking a page out of his famewhoring sister's playbook (yes, I'm looking at you, Kim!) and giving the world a heaping dose of too much information!  I can never unread what I just read…and now you won't be able to either!

If you want, you can blame Ryan Seacrest for feeling the need to do a sit down special with the entire Kardashian/Jenner klan, but really, the brunt of the blame should be placed on pimp momager Kris Jenner's shoulders.  She's taught her offspring that it's "the more ridiculous, the better" when it comes to garnering media attention.  I warn you, what you are about to read isn't pretty, and it has to do with what weight gain has done to poor Rob's member.  {Shudder}

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