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It’s Kardashian O’Clock! You don’t want to hear it, but it’s here anyway. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian continue their trolling / true love / PR stunt for the upcoming Keeping Up With The Kardashians season.

We’ll start with the fakest news. Kim has decided that her expertise in sex tapes qualifies her to be mayor of Los Angeles. Considering how many politicians have been in sex scandals in the last few years, Kim might actually fit in better than you would expect. In an unaired clip from her reality show, Kim tells sister Khloe Kardashian, “I decided…I’m gonna run for the mayor of Glendale…but it’s gonna be in like five years.” Kim is confident it can happen because the town is heavily Armenian and so is she! You can check out the video of Khloe and Kim discussing her totally real plans at Radar Online.

In more serious news, a source is claiming Kris Jenner is ruining Kylie and Kendall Jenner’s by lives by not letting them attend college. Do they know what college is? Just kidding! They do know what post-secondary schooling is; their siblings Kourtney and Rob did actually go to school.

The source says:

“Kris is ruining Kylie and Kendall‘s lives by not encouraging them to go to university. They both have expressed an interest in furthering their education but Kris is constantly shooting down the idea. She thinks if the girls go away to school, they will miss their window of opportunity and the public will forget about them.”

Kris wants the girls to get a reality show instead. To be honest, reality TV is more profitable than any college, so making the girls do a television show is a sound business decision.

And finally, I saved the best for last! Kanye re-titled his “Theraflu” song where he name-drops Kim and calls the new one “Way Too Cold.” A source tells US Magazine, magazine, he ”has been genuinely head over heels for [Kim] for a while.”

However, he’s quick to point out that he never compared Kim to Beyoncé, like a source once claimed. He told US Weekly, “Come on now, that doesn’t even sound like me,” and advised that fact-checkers should review his lyrics and social media account to verify any claims out there about him. ”If I don’t say something in a rap or on Twitter, it’s not true.” I have the same philosophy, so understand Kanye’s pain.

TELL US: WOULD YOU VOTE FOR KIM? DO YOU THINK KRIS JENNER IS RUINING HER DAUGHTER’S LIVES?

If you think we are done discussing the asinine bowling alley fight from last week’s episode of Real Housewives of Orange County, we aren’t. And if you think that Heather Dubrow is ever going to live down her comments that the Orange County dining scene is not to her liking (too many carbs, maybe?), you’re wrong about that, too.
Heather has dared the viewers to give her better suggestions, and then she’ll eat anything you ask: “With YOUR help, I intend to seek out and review local restaurants in an attempt to find the little gems that we have here that I have not been introduced to. SHOW ME. Then, I will eat CROW… or pig’s feet, tripe, sweetbreads or whatever it is the restaurant specializes in.”

Heather insists Sarah Winchester wasn’t even supposed to be there. In her blog, she writes, “First of all: for the record I did not invite Sarah to the party.”

That’s probably true. The producers invited Sarah, who probably thought she would bring more to the table. I get the impression the producers are trying to make this show younger since the whole “cougar” trend is kinda done. Anyway, Sarah did go, got totally trashed and followed Vicki Gunvalson around. Vicki needs to take a lesson from Camille Grammar and go hide in the bathroom in these moments.

In Heather’s words:

Sarah puts a nuclear hit on the evening! She is yelling at Vicki for NO reason and then is hugely delusional about how she approached her. I tried to diffuse the situation . She wouldn’t listen to me or her boyfriend or Gretchen. This girl is nuts. I may need to screen Gretchen’s friends for her! She is too nice to be friends with such a “wackadoodle” as G would say!

I thought Vicki handled it very well. Sarah couldn’t let it go. She was on a hamster wheel going round and round and round.

Heather thinks Sarah has issues, ending her discussion about her with this: “I hope this opens Sarah’s eyes to the fact that she obviously has a problem. She needs to seek professional help.” Embarrassing yourself on television isn’t yet recognized by the DSM, but maybe Sarah can start.
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On last night’s Celebrity Apprentice, both teams had to run improvisational puppet shows. Product placement department was really asleep at the wheel this week, since there was no corporate sponsor constantly being complemented. Ivanka Trump could barely bring herself to say “the executives” in the boardroom.

Since all shows on television now air on Sunday night, I’ll remind you that Lou Ferrigno was fired last week for only giving half of his usual “110%.” Lisa and Dayana shuffle back into the boardroom, Clay Aiken makes a snarky comment, which Lisa immediately overreacted to. Lisa, the woman who makes her living making fun of others, can dish it but certainly can not take it.

On this week’s task, Lisa Lampanelli elects herself as project manager in an attempt to finally win something, and Clay is shuffled over to Forte. Nice work, producers! Paul Teutul decides to manage this task, which is kinda weird. Aubrey O’Day would have been a shoe-in. Her hair alone is practically its own puppet!

Someone must have had a talk with Aubrey about her dominating ways because she decides to take a step back and let Paul run the show. And, since this is a different universe, Arsenio Hall & Aubrey are cool with each other! See what happens after you call your teammate a “See you next Tuesday!” You become friends afterwards. Paul had an injury the day before they start preparing for the act, so he is basically useless. Both teams get a lot of training on this task, in both, actual improv and puppeteering. Teresa Giudice loves that the improv guys encourage not knowing what you’re talking about. Do I really have to write a joke here? You know what to do, commenters! Take this and run with it. You’ve been given a gift.

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The Real Housewives of Orange County were on Dr. Oz recently, to talk about the one topic they are definitely experts on: plastic surgery! On last week’s episode, Tamra Barney removed her implants once and for all, and as we all know, Alexis Bellino is the first woman in the world to ever get a nose job. She must be commended for bravery!

Vicki Gunvalson, who just had a ton of work done in between the past two seasons, admitted to having “…a myriad of fillers, Botox, liposuction, and laser treatments” to In Touch Magazine. And that’s just what she’s fessing up to! On Dr. Oz, Tamra said “I’m sure we’re not owning everything we’ve had.” Along with 98% of women in Orange County, she had a nose job in her early twenties. Of her implant removal, she said, “I wanted the foreign object out of my body.” Funny, she said the same thing at her divorce proceedings from Simon!

Tamra also revealed that she had been diagnosed with cervical cancer, and that was a huge factor in her decision to get rid of the implants. Good for you, Tammy Sue! Tamra’s story arc has been so great: ridding herself of Simon, and then getting rid of the implants the men in her life love so much; standing up for herself and putting her own needs before men.

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It’s time to untangle the mess that is going on at Basketball Wives. It’s time to call in Colin Powell, because this kind of mess needs some kind of professional mediation. How else can you explain a grown woman like Evelyn Lozada throwing bottles (okay, just one bottle but that’s one too many) around? Naturally, all the women had to put their two (or three or four of five) cents into the issue. Let’s dig in and see if we can explain what is going on here.

First up, Royce Reed and her 3,000 word blog post. She breaks down the incident like this:

“I said it last week and I was right. Instead of expressing how WRONG Evelyn was for throwing a bottle and a plate at someone’s head for a “word” there was a lot of laughing. Even more so, they condoned her actions. I’m confused…how are you speaking about someone else being crazy (although I think Kenya has a “side”) when you are always the one picking up glasses, bottles, plates, jumping across tables, etc. Pot MEET Kettle. Tami and Shaunie, you both knew Evelyn was wrong so rather than saying “Evelyn you would’ve killed that girl,” hence hyping Evelyn up, it should’ve been “You were dead ass wrong and you need to learn how to curb your anger and deal with things differently.” I love you Tami and I know you are upset with me, but at this point I don’t think you understand the fact I AM a real friend to you. No way would I let you react the way Evelyn has in my presence, nor would I condone it.”

People throwing plates around is always hilarious. It’s pure comedy. The next big incident is the backlash Royce received for, uh, not throwing a plate at Jennifer when they realized Jennifer had been talking trash about her online a million years ago.  Royce says that she and Jen are now “cool,” but not friends; which is kind of like loving someone, but not being in love with them. She says she’s open to being friends with Jennifer, because she’s “not naive but also not evil.” Can anyone on BBW really not be evil?

And then, video gate! Kenya Bell showed off her new video, and Royce stands behind her artistic critique. “Like I said it wasn’t THAT BAD but speaking on the genre I know about, the dancing needed/needs to be done over. Kenya CAN SING. Kenya CAN NOT DANCE.”

Also weighing in on Kenya’s video, is Tami Roman, in her own blog, letting Kenya know “she can really sing” and that “she’s seen worse.” How sweet of Tami to take time off from cackling with another wife and give someone a compliment. She also lets Kenya know how she feels about the hazing she’s received since joining the cast:

“I’ll keep it real with you, when I came into this situation, I was tore back. I had gotten to a point in my life where I didn’t care anymore, but as I became more involved in the show, I returned to the Tami I had always been before my downfall, my marriage and The Real World. I never try to be anyone else except myself. I want you to continue to be Kenya Bell-find yourself and make YOU better. I do respect you as a woman out here grinding and truly hope the best for you.”

Tami also added in her thoughts on Royce and Jennifer “making up,” but she just re-affirms what Royce said about the two not being real friends: “This relationship is forced, at best. There will be no hanging together outside of the show; no texts, no phone conversations, and no real steps towards friendship and thus…they really didn’t need to make up.” When you’re on a show where bottles are thrown, you kinda need to call a truce if necessary. But that’s just me.

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I breathed a sigh of relief when Bethenny Frankel‘s assistant Julie Plake finally gave her notice on this week’s episode of Bethenny Ever After. Julie just looked so miserable in every episode this season. I wanted to take her out for a drink and get her a new job.

It looks like she did just that. Her Twitter bio as of this week reads, “back in the burgh, working in pr & loving life.” Julie, who had worked for Bethenny for three years, decided to leave New York and move closer to her family and boyfriend. You can’t really blame her, life in New York is so expensive and can be exhausting, especially when you’re in a 24/7 job like the one of celebrity assistant.

On her Bravo blog this week, Julie explains how she felt after watching Bethenny describe to her therapist how Julie’s frazzled attitude affected her negatively. Because everything is about Bethenny.  To her credit, Julie takes the high road:

Seeing Bethenny talk about me in therapy was emotional. In my time with Bethenny, I was pretty much everywhere with her (bathroom, bedroom, fitting room), but the therapy room. I guess I didn’t realize until I saw this what an extreme part of her life I had become. I always knew it, but seeing her get emotional like that made it more real. Bethenny and her familyhave become a HUGE part of my life. I saw them EVERYDAY all day. . .not being around them is like having an empty hole. I am just glad that Bethenny has Dr. Amador to help her work through her emotions and learn tools on how to handle situations. Everyone needs that.

Having worked for a moody boss before, it makes me so angry that Julie is still deferring to Bethenny in the above blog post. I’m sure Julie did affect Bethenny’s mood, but at the end of the day, Bethenny is the one who takes home all the profits. She is the boss. Did Bethenny ever think that it was her crazy-ass behavior that made Julie so frazzled? Julie also makes a curious statement about the rest of her time on the show:

“Don’t worry though — you can’t get rid of me that quickly. I’m still around to wear out my welcome and say goodbye. . .

It’s bittersweet. . .stay tuned.”

That’s an interesting comment! I wonder if we’ll see their relationship change. Bethenny also blogged, and started it off like this: “I really liked this episode, because it was largely about female power, which is, in many ways, what I stand for.” Female power via low-calorie drinks! We’re going to destroy the patriarchy while remaining true to our inner Skinnygirl.

Bethenny says Julie’s departure was the right thing to do:

Julie made a decision. Whether that is what you or I would do is irrelevant. She was stuck. She was tormented and something needed to happen for something to happen. To be honest, it was better for everyone. When someone is struggling with something, it affects their whole environment. Jackie was so enthusiastic about embarking on a new adventure, and it was difficult to do so while Julie’s heart and head were leaving the game. It’s the circle of life in business. I love Julie, and she is forever in my heart and connected to my family, but I do believe that it was the best decision for everyone. She is happy, the office is running smoothly and quietly, and everyone has found their place.

That’s right, Julie! Every thing is so much better now that you are gone! But seriously, Bethenny is right, and Julie is probably much happier. The thing about working for a boss like that is everything else afterwards seems easy.

And what about the new Julie? Jackie also posted to her Bravo blog, but she’s a woman of few words, saying that she was “in denial” about Julie’s departure and that “I know I have big shoes to fill, but Julie is a great teacher and will help me with everything I need to know!”

 

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF JULIE’S DEPARTURE FROM TEAM BETHENNY? WOULD YOU WORK FOR HER?

Bravo wasn’t always housewives and bitchy real estate professionals. Once upon a time, the network belonged to comedian Kathy Griffin. And part of it must still belong to her, because the network gave her another show to replace her departed My Life On The D-List reality show. Probably because she’s not so D-list anymore.

Kathy’s new show, plainly titled “Kathy” will be a talk show. But, she doesn’t plan on bringing on big celebrities, probably because her whole act is making fun of the famous. In an interview with the LA Times, Kathy dished more about her new show, and her infamous mother Maggie.

Apparently Maggie has to be on every episode:

“My mom is bigger than all the “Housewives” combined. My mother is, once again, mandated — MANDATED — by the network to be in every episode. They don’t even have the good grace to say things like, “You know, Kathy, you’re one of our stars. We think of you as an iconic cornerstone of the network. And if your mom could help you out, that would be great.” No. They’re like, “Hey, so your mom will be on it every week, you know that right? We’re not … around with that.” I’m like, “Yes, yes. Don’t worry.”

Poor Maggie! She just wants to be left alone to watch the Kardashians in peace! Kathy’s new show will be a more casual talk show, but she wants to keep it real:

“It’s a very loose and chatty show. It’s so loose the network feels like they need to promote it by having photos of me with caution tape around my mouth. The most important thing to me is to keep it as fluid as possible — the whole show.

I want them to feel like they were at lunch with a girlfriend and she was saying all the things I was afraid to say. I like it when people laugh and almost put their hand over their mouth like they weren’t supposed to laugh. I want it to feel like we’re all just hanging out. The set right now is a little bit residential. It’s a little bit talk show. But it’s also none of those things exactly. It’s chatty. One of the things that sort of organically happened was, if I have a question during the run-throughs we do at the office, I’ll turn and ask someone in the office and they’ll pipe in. We’re even thinking of putting microphones on three random people in the audience so if I ask a question and look at that person, they can actually pipe in. It’s not Phil Donahue running into the audience with a microphone, but we don’t know what the … it’s going to be.”

Unlike Watch What Happens, Kathy (sadly) won’t be shooting live. They want to avoid the “incidents” Kathy has gotten into before on live television!

“No — uh, no. No. They won’t do it. I think you know why. They’re trying — let me tell you the real reason: they’re scared … . If you ask them, I’m sure they’d tell you things about fiber feeds — they’d make it technical. They’re not stupid. Which is so great because this is me screaming at Bravo: “Really? Because I’m good enough to go live on CNN with Anderson Cooper for five years in a row.” To which their response was, “Didn’t you say … one year and have to get your check back?”

We’re going to shoot it live to tape. And we’re going to air Thursdays at 10. We’re going to try to truly talk about all the stuff you’re not supposed to talk about. If I get in trouble, at least, hopefully, I won’t go to jail like Juicy from ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey.” By the way, there are several people on several channels that have legitimate trials pending. All the “trouble” that I get into because of my big mouth, I don’t actually have a trial date. I’m really just here to make people laugh. And I’m priding myself in not having celebrities.”

And while Kathy doesn’t want to have celebrities, the network wants her to bring them on:

My idols are Howard Stern, Bill Maher, Joan Rivers — people that get in trouble, people that can be wrong. For me, to have celebrities on, it would just be a different kind of a show. I think it’s great that a woman like Ellen DeGeneres can be a comedian and segue into a show in which everyone adores her and she never offends anybody. That is just not my story, not by a mile. The network is pressuring me pretty heavily to have celebrities.

This has to be a place where nothing is off the table. I’m so evil, I’m making fun of the guy with a speech impediment from “Bachelor Pad” because I’m fascinated that there’s a guy with a speech impediment who just can’t stop going on reality shows.

Kathy will have what she calls a “panel of civilians,” of “weirdos” that she knows, rather than the panel of comedians that Chelsea Handler has on her shows. That doesn’t mean Kathy won’t ever have A-listers on:

“That’s really my theory, that the network wants a big first guest and it’s all, “Call Cher. Call Cher. Call Cher.” I said, “Look, Cher’s in her mansion in Malibu. We can’t even afford her hair and makeup and she and I were texting and she doesn’t even know what Bravo is.” It would just be a different tone. I’m open to, once the show is up and running, if celebrities are really willing to come and play, they’re welcome. But until then, they’re not welcome. Not even you, Barbara Walters! How do you like it? You’re banned!

One of the girls, yesterday, was like, “What if we could get Oprah?” I was like, “Really? Really?” Because that would be a really short interview. It would just be her leaving.”

She hilariously notes that she doesn’t understand why the network is so scared of her big mouth, when she hasn’t even gone to jail, like another Bravo-lebrity. “If I get in trouble, at least, hopefully, I won’t go to jail like Juicy from ‘Real Housewives of New Jersey.” Kathy’s show will air once a week, and she swears she won’t go to daily like Watch What Happens because she wants to continue touring.

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Are you ready for a whole bunch of Kardashian-related news? I can tell you’re excited! Well, would it surprise you to know that the seventh (yes, seven!) season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians has graduated to a full hour of television. E! is so confident that you have nothing else to do with your time that not only have they managed to find 44 minutes worth of “umms” and manufactured drama, they’ve also ordered 18 episodes. Is this one of the signs of the apocalypse?

Hollywood Life reports that Kim Kardashian‘s current “boyfriend” Kanye West has “signed on” to appear for the seventh season, since he doesn’t have anything to do either. Given the success of Kanye’s latest musical effort, his collaboration with Jay-Z, one must assume that he has genuine feelings for Kim, because it’s not like he needs the PR. He might be participating in this latest charade as a favor to her.

Moving on from Kim, pobrecita Khloe Kardashian is having a rough few months. First, insta-husband Lamar Odom was cut from the Dallas Mavericks. On Monday, Khloe tweeted the following, presumably to Lamar: “ “U deserve so much better. Know ur worth and know ur skills that have been proven and earned! U showed ur strength, I love u.” She was spotted at LAX by the TMZ cameras, and said “No, I like Dallas. I’m glad to be home, but I liked Dallas.”

A source tells Radar Online that Lamar is “depressed” after not only being fired from the Mavericks, but let go from the L.A. Lakers:

“Lamar hasn’t gotten over being traded from the Lakers, and he has been depressed and moody ever since it happened. Lamar felt that he was ripped away from his Laker family with no warning or notice. He couldn’t fathom the fact that the Lakers traded him after all of his years with the team.”

Radar reports that Khloe has a “romantic getaway” planned, to whisk Lamar away from the cameras. Except she might take E!’s reality show cameras. The source adds that, ”Khloe has been extremely supportive of Lamar, but she is growing increasingly concerned for her husband because she has never seen him like this before.” A vacation may be just what the doctor ordered.

While Khloe has said she will follow Lamar wherever his NBA career takes him, this might be the end of the road. The insider adds, “Lamar wants to keep playing basketball, but it might be time for him to retire which has Khloe even more concerned.”

In even sadder news, Hollywood Life alleges that Khloe went through a miscarriage in February, and is worried that her inability to get pregnant will mean the end of their relationship. “She’s scared that if she doesn’t give Lamar a baby, then he’ll leave her.”

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