Author Archive

Milania Giudice Turns 12

We’ve literally watched Teresa Giudice‘s daughters grow up on TV and to give us a reality check about how long we’ve been watching Real Housewives Of New Jersey ruin people’s lives, Milania Giudice just celebrated her 12th birthday.

“Happy Birthday to my beautiful girl! Milania you light up every room you walk into, it’s never a dull moment with you & you are always the life of the party! You keep me laughing even when I don’t think I can, you are a sweet sensitive caring young woman, and I’m so lucky to be your mom! I love you to infinity and beyond,” Teresa gushed in an Instagram post to her now-tween daughter.

Eva Marcille

Eva Marcille seems like she is playing for keeps on Real Housewives Of Atlanta. She made quite the first impression on this week’s episode when she immediately outed Cynthia Bailey‘s new man as a cheater. Gee, I’m sure that was accidental. Despite all this, Eva insists she came in peace, with plans to unify the cast instead of further dividing them. Mmm Hmmm.

“I look at this whole world through a different prism because I’m more of like, ‘Hey guys, let’s all get along. Let’s see how we can all make this thing work’ versus them thinking, ‘I’m on an island all by myself and I’m my own person’ type thing,” explains Eva

Kristen Doute Feels Bad For Logan; Says James Kennedy Is Desperate For Any Attention From Anyone!

I love when Kristen Doute plays pot calling the kettle’s bottom black. Like when she talks crap about James Kennedy for being desperate for attention, a user, and an out of control mess who loves to cause trouble, I feel like she must know she’s also describing herself.

Anyway, unsurprisingly, Kristen feels bad for James‘ ex-bestie Logan Noh following his revelation on Vanderpump Rules that he’s in love with James. Which came attached to a fake revelation that he and James have been secretly sleeping together. Well if there’s anyone who can keep up with the Kennedy, it’s professional stalker Krazy Kristen (she is never far away and always lurking in the shadows like a kritter). 

Dorit Kemsley

Ugh – it’s official, Dorit Kemsley is the one with multiple personalities, not Erika. It’s like Dorit’s evil doppelgänger does all these bad behaviors on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, then Dorit swoops in with a new hair style and a new accent to pretend she has “absolutely no idea” what anyone is talking about because she, a woman of impeccable etiquette, would never EVER call someone a C-word during dinner, or throw a fit over the wrong wine glass at a party, or be one hour late to a drinks meeting then lie about it.

No, she will throw Casino Royale parties where arrives via helicopter in designer gowns, waving to her people and smiling graciously. Dorit’s idealized self is not communicating with her actual self and we’re having problems here. Big time!

Brandi Glanville

Brandi Glanville is really not ready to leave reality TV behind her. In addition to appearing on Family Boot Camp, she also just announced that she’ll be joining Celebrity Big Brother. This is after she already did the UK version.

Brandi was actually a last-minute addition to the U.S. Celebrity Big Brother house. She said she got the invitation days before casting was announced, and had nothing better to do (this time), so she jumped right in! At least she can admit that reality TV hopping is her profession, although Brandi worries the other housemates already know her weaknesses from watching her on TV SO. MANY. TIMES. 

James Kennedy & Jax Taylor

It’s almost like Vanderpump Rules is a sociological experiment on modern love, right? Every other day there are new cheaters to eclipse the previous cheaters with crazier cheating scandals and bigger liars, all compounded by the ever-shifting relationships around accommodating these facts. Can’t anyone get in the right pants? Or keep their members in the right pants, rather?

Take for instance the evolution of Jax Taylor and James Kennedy. They’ve both ‘interacted’ with the same women (Kristen Doute and Lala Kent), which created a palpable neanderthal assholian hatred towards each other – like crabs in a bucket – as they battled over being too similar, but now they’re bonding over how much they cannot stand Kristen. Which is hilarious considering neither one of them ever seemed to like Kristen to begin with! And now, of course, Kristen is trying to destroy Jax’s relationship with Brittany Cartwright. Not because Kristen likes Jax (or has any lingering feelings for him), but because she loves Brittany (and once hooked up with her) too much to let her be ruined by Jax. 

Cynthia Bailey is sad about Will

What did Cynthia Bailey ever do to anybody? Other than be too much of a push over? Last night’s episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta was unbelievably messy and the poor unwitting target was Cynthia.

Attacking Cynthia is like smacking a bunny. Leave the girl alone to date and learn some tough-love lessons about getting played. Instead of bopping her on the head, her friends should pet her ever-changing wigs and tell her it will be OK. Clearly Cynthia habitually picks the WRONG men, and trying to teach her how to spot a scrub is not working. Even when she has a bonafide expert like Kandi Burruss at her disposal! 

Dorit Kemsley

I’m having a total about face when it comes to Dorit Kemsley. Actually, given Dorit’s confusing hair and wardrobe this season of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, I’d say she’s having a total about face about her own self! Something seems very off with her, and she’s driving everything to hell in a designer handbag!

Dorit lives in a fake prosperous world where she is your fun, eccentric friend doing zany but delightful things. The kind of friend who cosplays Erika Girardi (not Jayne!) and has NO idea how insanely insane she comes across. I think that instead I’ll just focus on Ken gently placing a newborn dog inside his shirt, kangaroo pouch-style, and softly holding it there until the puppy dozed off. It belongs on an Anne Geddes calendar, or in one of Lisa Rinna‘s bubbles of white light, because it was perfection.