Last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta was all about love and motherhood and all the complications that come with it. But first, like with all things, we must dip our toe in hate!
Phaedra Parks, Porsha Williams, and Sheree Whitfield take their camel toes to brunch to discuss Sheree’s fight with Kenya Moore. Apparently, Kenya has been conducting faulty research, which misled her to believe Sheree is a hoe. “HOE!” scoffs Sheree, “I ain’t never been associated with no hoes!” Well, except for the ones Bob was probably cheating with. Sheree is indignant that someone who “slept her way to the top of the Z-List DVD rack” has the nerve to accuse her of impropriety.
After finally completing Chateau Sheree, Sheree decided to celebrate with an over-the-top housewarming party (for her done house!), which was filmed for Real Housewives Of Atlanta as the season finale. Unfortunately it wasn’t legal for Sheree to be living in the house, let alone throwing a party there!
Collective show of hands – who is surprised Kenya Moore had drama with Sheree Whitfield? Yeah, Sheree isn’t surprised either. Kenya says Sheree started it; Sheree blames Kenya for causing it… I have a feeling this blame game is going to go on longer than the building of Chateau Sheree took!
Porsha Williams is all like zen now. The first victim of the new outlook is Kenya Moore! Porsha test-drove her anger management therapy when she showed up an uninvited plus-one to the Moore Manor housewarming party, and was shown the door.
Porsha “pretty much expected” Kenya to kick her out, but is tired of drama with her Real Housewives Of Atlanta co-star, and wishes Kenya would have just been the bigger person – for once – both at Moore Manor, and during the Escape Room get-together.
Kristen Doute swears she is a whole new girl, and because of that, this season of Vanderpump Rulesis her favorite one yet. Considering how every other season has literally been in the toilet of the SUR bathroom for Kristen, I can’t imagine how things could get any worse?
According to Kristen, season five “feels like a throwback to season one with everyone being back together.”
Kristen insists she has learned from her mistakes. “It was a huge wake up call seeing this stuff on TV,” she describes. Unfortunately, many fans are “still stuck on ‘Crazy Kristen’ and ‘Why are you trying to stalk Tom Sandoval and trying to break up Ariana and Tom?’ It’s like, that was four years ago!” laments Kristen. “There’s been a change.”
Uh, exactly how many ‘spinoffs’ is Khloe Kardashian gonna try? Apparently an infinite amount. Her latest attempt is called Revenge Body where Khloe will be empowering poor plebeians through her inspiration advice.
Khloe, who’s tried her hand at hosting time and time again, is now repackaging herself as a fitness and empowerment guru. Shouldn’t she stick to obsessing about belfies on Keeping Up with the Kardashians? Guess not! Instead she is letting people know that if their booty don’t quit, their lives will be legit.
Last night Lisa Vanderpump hosted World Dog Day and declared it a mandatory requirement for all Vanderpump Rules stars to own a dog. James Kennedy is exempt, however,because obviously Lisa cares about the welfare of her furry friends!
OK, just kidding – they didn’t have to own a dog, but it might as well have been a decree. Some of them <ahem… Stassi Schroeder…> were so eager to suck-up to Lisa via dog-loving they adopted two poor doggies, and dressed them up in bonnets fit for English Tea.
Before we dealt with dogs, however, we had to deal with pussy cats. And also bitches. All in a days work at SUR, right!? The bitch is Jax Taylor who has been spreading news of Kristen Doute petting Brittany Cartwright‘s kitty-cat all over SUR.