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luann de lesseps in zebra print pants

While Sonja Morgan thinks her “Caburlesque” is gonna become a thing (like “Fetch” is), LuAnn de Lesseps is actually working hard and earning money. Apparently being a former countess agrees with her! 

At a housewarming shindig for her new house in Sag Harbor this weekend, LuAnn was all saucy jokes and quick wit – including revealing how she met her ex-husband and has quite the storied past! LuAnn apparently keeps a journal of all the good jokes she hears and “writes down” the punchlines so she can remember them. 

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amber and jim marchese

Amber Marchese is already cracking under the pressure of Real Housewives of New Jersey and calling foul on the editors and her castmates! 

After looking like a s#*!-stirring suck-up on this week’s episode, with her husband saying he’s not allowed to hang out with the Juicys because of their legal issues, Amber is trying to set the story straight. 

“Neither Jim nor I have ever been judgmental of Joe and Teresa [Giudice]. At this point, we hadn’t even met Joe Giudice, and had only met Teresa once at our party. We knew of their situation, but still opened the invitation to them without regret,” Amber begins. 

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everyone skips lizzie rovsek's birthday party

On last night’s Real Housewives of Orange County, poor Lizzie Rovsek proved she is unpopular with the ladies and Shannon Beador forgave Tamther (an ill-advised move) in order to get a free vacation in Bali. 

Things begin with Tamra Barney telling Vicki Gunvalson about Ryan’s surprise engagement. Vicki understands given that Briana surprised eloped last season. If your children are always hiding something from you that’s probably a sign that they think you’re crazy. 

However, quickly talk turns to The Shannon Beador Dilemna. Vicki is straight to the point with Tamra that she started causing all this drama and now is stepping back like ‘Don’t look at me! I didn’t do it!’ – and that Heather Dubrow is also being an instigator. Vicki thinks Heather needs to be knocked down a a notch or two to understand empathy. I am loving this equanimous Vicki. More of this please! Less of that rat’s nest on her head that she calls hair, however!

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vicki-gunvalson-wwhl

Vicki Gunvalson is selling her Coto de Caza home, which is as much a part of Real Housewives of Orange County as Vicki herself! It’s been with Vicki since her first season on the show, ten long years ago, and now she’s moving on as part of a total life makeover which includes therapy! 

“I’m just ready for a change,” Vicki shares. “My whole theory is that when life changes, you have to change everything.”

 

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phaedra parks apollo nida

Oh my… Real Housewives of Atlanta is turning into the new Real Housewives of New Jersey. Meaning what is happening behind-the-scenes is far more juicy than what’s happening on camera!

With Apollo Nida heading to prison, it seems he and Phaedra Parks are getting divorced. Rumors have cropped up that the couple is living apart and Apollo hasn’t been seen at their home in months. RHOA producers are filming Apollo until he relocates to the Big House, but he and Phaedra are barely interacting – in fact a previous report spotted them only coming together for their sons and having a terse conversation! 

Now comes a new report that states Phaedra is refusing to film with Apollo – and even skipped a recent RHOA event to avoid him. This tea is piping hot and sweet like molasses so settle in! It’s been rumored that Phaedra is ‘taking a break’ from filming this season as she sorts out her affairs, but that’s not true – what Phaedra is actually breaking from is putting her marriage and drama with her soon-to-be-ex-husband on TV. 

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teresa hosts fabulicious desserts party

Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey newbie Amber Marchese got a baptism by garbage fire. And her husband Jim Marchese tried to act all big, important, and like principled and ish – not on my Jersey! 

Melissa Gorga, behind-the-scenes s#*!-stirrer and perpetual wannabe victim, tackled the double-trouble twins with some gossip and found that Teresa Giudice isn’t the only person who flips-the-f-out! 

Before all that, Joe and Melissa embark upon a new career – one they’re suited for! Joe bought a big ol’ garbage truck and announced they’re in the garbage business. At first I thought he meant they ARE the garbage business, which of course, but they are for real compacting garbage. This type of garbage is a truck specifically designed to incinerate important papers. And if Juicy or Chris Laurita‘s “paperwork” are any indication – I say that truck is going to be doing a lot of business! Also now they can finally “smoosh” all evidence of Melissa’s past – like the Lookers! paychecks!

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scheana marie and fiance mike shay black/white dress

Scheana Marie Jancan is officially Mrs. Mike Shay! I guess she’ll no longer be known as Eddie Cibrian‘s floozy?!

Mike announced the news when he wrote on Twitter, “So excited to marry my best friend tmrw! I love you sooo much sweetheart!”

Of course, the wedding will likely be the season finale for Vanderpump Rules, which is filming its third season now. Tons of Scheana’s co-stars were there according to twitter and instagram. 

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La Toya Jackson's First Night in Newsical the Musical

Danielle Staub‘s bankruptcy is officially over! After she bought a new Mercedes of course. 

Unfortunately instead of paying back her creditors, the court allowed the former Real Housewives of New Jersey star to excuse $200,000 in debts. And lucky Danielle screwed her former sex tape again in the process! 

Stephen Zalewski, who starred in Danielle’s tape (along with a bagel), sued her for $100,000 for defamation after she accused him of leaking the tape on purpose – and Stephen won! Well the courts allowed Danielle to discharge that debt. Which means Stephen lost twice: once when he schtupped Danielle and again when he didn’t get his money from her! 

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