Well it’s been a roller coaster season of Real Housewives Of New York – a Ramonacoaster season to be exact! Last week the ladies filmed the season 9 reunion which was sure to be as insane as it was vitriolic because in the Big Apple they do everything bigger and um, well, bigger!
Sonja Morgan dished that after a season of emotional outbursts and shifting loyalties (aka no loyalties) Ramona Singer is in the hottest seat of all. We all know how Ramona likes to keep things hot flashed!
Shannon Beador is on a rampage and she is savagely ripping the meat from the bones of Real Housewives Of Orange County. Any housewife who dares try to get in Shannon’s way better come prepared with white gloves to treat her fragile ego, and proper cutlery to carve though the drama. Shannon has bared her soul, her heart, and now her midriff on this show and she has worked too hard recapturing David to watch it all get flushed down the toilet sitting in her relationship corner, dammit!
And yes, there’s a toilet in Shannon’s relationship corner according to her Feng Shui expert! I think that’s Vicki Gunvalson‘s fault though. After all, Vicki put Shannon’s relationship in the crapper with her lies about David. Now all Shannon’s relationships are draining away (even the relationships she hasn’t formed yet). Shannon’s relationship with vodka seems in tact, though.
Cynthia Bailey certainly had an unconventional theme for her 50th birthday party: herself. Literally. While all birthday parties are about the person celebrating, Cynthia took it next level by having her Real Housewives Of Atlanta co-stars dress up in looks from some of her most famous photo shoots over the years for a 50 Cyn “Fifty Shades Of Cynthia” themed party.
Last week, Eileen announced her departure from the show, and well, at least Andy will miss her. “I love Eileen!” he exclaimed. But with Eileen leaving, “that means there is space for a new Housewife doesn’t it?” And that means a new direction for RHOBH. Fresh… um… birkin blood or something?
Kelly Dodd is back, but she’s not the same shrieking harridan she was the last time around. She’s got new boobs, a rejuvenated vagina, and a whole new attitude. This season, Kelly crowns Shannon Beador as the super crazy one. Who didn’t see that coming?! In addition to giving the details on Shannon, Kelly also reveals some juicy gossip about Heather Dubrow.
Starting with Shannon, she was so bonkers, the Real Housewives Of Orange County star flings a plate full of steak at Kelly. HA! “You’re on that Shannon roller coaster,” Kelly reveals. “We get into it and a steak goes flying. She slams a plate down. And they said that it was the loudest thing ever. So, yeah, [Shannon] loses her s–t and there is no going back from it.”
Despite the fact that Tom is turning some age in his mid-30’s that didn’t stop him and the crew from partying like it was Season 1 of Pump Rules and he was a mere babe of 28. #Adulting Tom 1, Ariana Madix, Jax Taylor, Brittany Cartwright, Katie Maloney, and Tom 2 headed to Tao where they got crazy and boozed it up, then saw Calvin Harris.
Never has their been a bigger Real Housewives conundrum than Phaedra Parks. One-part preacher’s daughter, one part-convict’s wife, one-part funeral director, one-part stripper’s attorney, one-part pickle connoisseur, one-part southern belle, one-part attorney, one-part aspiring politician, and one-part thong devotee.
With all her shade, crazy facial expressions, and inconsistencies, Phaedra will be missed on Real Housewives Of Atlanta and we are here to give her an official Phuneral By Phaedra in remembrance of her many contributions to the drama in the Bravo Universe.
Washing up on the shores of the California beaches, amid the shells and driftwood, is the rubble of last season’s Real Housewives Of Orange County. Littering the sands with shards of shattered friendships, filthy accusations, and broken down dignities; a bent halo, some empty vodka and champs bottles, and Shannon Beador‘s former self, now soaked and waterlogged by the hours of tears she’s spilled over the terrible lies Vicki Gunvalson told. The fate of the world, and the Orange County coastline — along with the safety and health of Briana’s children – all rests in Vicki’s handbag! Thankfully she’s not crazy or anything…
So the taglines: let’s start there. What makes Tamra Judge “highly prized”? Or was she just proud of herself for coming up with a rhyme. Hook’d on Phonics worked for her! Vicki’s tagline informs us that she’s not going home, but what she means is that this show is her home, and you are not going to drop any interloping houses on her head! She clicked her ruby slippers together three times and dragged Briana from the land of tornadoes to get here.