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The Real Housewives Of New Jersey Recap: Growing Up Jersey

Joe and Melissa Gorga‘s storyline for this season of Real Housewives Of New Jersey was the opening of their restaurant. Unfortunately before the season even ended, the restaurant closed! Well, kinda.

As with everything on RHONJ there are 13 sides to the story, and the truth is obscured at the bottom of a fake Chanel bag underneath leopard print, glitter, and salami. So of course that’s also the situation surrounding the sudden closure of Gorga’s Homemade Pasta & Pizza.

According to a source although the Gorgas (and one Giudice) are no longer part of ‘Gorga’s’ the restaurant remains open, in the same location, but is being run by Joe’s now ex-partners, who are still using the name Gorga’s. 

Camille Grammer

You guys – I have a exciting announcement! We are being visited by a ghost from Housewives past – Season 1 Camille Grammer has returned to Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills! YES! YES! YES!

And to whom do we owe the honor of dragging Camille from her peaceful slumber? Why Dorit Kemsley, of course. I never condone a lady calling another lady a c-u-next-Tuesday, but I must thank Dorit for reawakening the pernicious side of Camille!

Lisa Rinna

There are so many things you don’t want to learn from a Real Housewife. The list honestly is endless, however, I never thought I’d have to add “blow job tips” to that already overwhelming list. Apparently I do, and it falls right under “money management” and above “drinking habits.” As always: Thanks Lisa Rinna! So that’s just a preview of last night’s raunchy, ribald, and Do-RITNOWSHUTYOURMOUTH’s Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills.

And just when I was starting to like Dorit Kemsley… it turns out SHE’S the bad guy!

While most of these women are stuck in California with construction, heat waves, and the crushing woes of work, Lipsa and Erika Girardi are headed to Japan where apparently The Daughters Rinna are big-time celebrities. I’m pretty sure Lipsa hired paparazzi and a roving pack of obsessed fans to follow Delilah and Amelia around, but there was a huge crowd to greet them at the airport and an impromptu red carpet, as Lipsa stood idly by babysitting 300 pieces of luggage and being ignored.

Katie Maloney Says “There’s No Such Thing As Happily Ever After” And Why She Forgave Tom Schwartz After His Drunken Cheating

Katie Maloney is once again being embarrassed on national TV by Tom Schwartzs lack of commitment. Most of us might give up the ghost to Tom Sandoval, but not our girl Katie – she is hanging on til her dying day. After all, til death do them part, right?!

After bragging that the first year of marriage was “bliss” the Vanderpump Rules star got a reality check (and not the kind signed by Bravo!) when she learned Tom 2 had a drunken make-out with another SUR hostess. Oops! Tom blamed the Jagger, and Katie admits she still hasn’t fully dealt with “having this bomb dropped on me.” I mean it took her how many years to deal with Tom 2’s first cheating episode? Which is exactly Katie’s biggest issue with Tom’s latest betrayal. 

Real Housewives of Atlanta recap

This week’s episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta was quite an eye-opener for Cynthia Bailey after her mother opened up in a domestic violence PSA about the abuse she suffered from Cynthia’s father.

Cynthia admits to being both “sad and proud” of her mom’s testimonial, but was ultimately glad that Kenya Moore encouraged her mother to participate.

Jax Taylor

So, let’s see – cheating accusations are like clowns in a clown car on Vanderpump Rules now. How many cheaters can we cram into one episode here? Seriously, though, they need to refresh the story-writing staff over at Bravo. Or perhaps get a lot of new cast members…

If we were gonna make a seven-layer dip of the cheating scandals it would go like this: Jax Taylor cheating on Brittany Cartwright is the beefy bottom layer. The anchor of this season’s unfaithful dramas, if you will, but that just got amped up by the spicy salsa of audio featuring Jax’s pillow talk with Faith Stowers, in which he said he’d never marry Brittany.

Real Housewives of Atlanta recap

I was actually really pleased by last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta. In addition to the usual drama and bickering, all the ladies came together to film a PSA produced by Kenya Moore about domestic violence. It was thoughtful, emotional, and really prescient – so here’s to RHOA setting a good example for once! Of course we also had to squeeze in some necessary nonsense.

It’s been THREE long weeks since we’ve checked in on our peaches. They went to San Fran, that ended in disaster, and now the disasters have been toted back to Atlanta in borrowed and fake Birkins and trudged on by Jimmy Choos.

Kim Zolciak & Kroy Biermann

Kim Zolciak is on vacation in Turks & Caicos with the whole family. And you know what that means – plenty of PDA pics with Kroy Biermann, plus lots of bikini selfies. Including one of Kroy in a speedo.

The Don’t Be Tardy star also took the time to remember that she has children, promote her skincare line, and her lip job courtesy of Dr. Kassabian. Well at least Kim’s now readily admitting to getting SOME plastic surgery! You can see Kim and Kroy’s beach dry-humping below, and also some cute pics of Kaia and Kane.

In other Kim news, apparently she doesn’t want her Real Housewives Of Atlanta stint to come to an end and Kim is now admitting “never say never” when it comes to forgiving NeNe Leakes. Isn’t this about about 400th time we’ve heard this auto-tuned song and robotic dance?