Oh thank goodness Gretchen Rossi is making money off the uber romantical and so super special and intimate proposal song she (and a team of Bravo hired producers) wrote for Slade Smiley.
That's soooooooooo special, y'all. Like the most beyond special-ist thing ever! So yeah, if you want to own your own little piece of television's most loving moment like ever you can buy it on iTunes.
The audio for this stunning love ballad is below. And you can be assured that autotune has been heavily deployed, even though like Gretchen doesn't need it because Real Housewives of Orange County producers intentionally made her sound worse on the show, just like because they're mean and like hate her and stuff! Not at all because she can't actually sing…
The Real Housewives of New Jersey stars were officially charged this afternoon with a 39-count indictment of "allegedly conspiring to defraud lenders and illegally obtain mortgages, federal authorities said this afternoon," reports North Jersey.com. In addition they are accused of hiding assets and income during their bankruptcy case.
Teresa, who according to witnesses, displayed a subdued attitude, continued to stand by her husband who is accused of the bulk of the issues. “Today is a most difficult day for our family," Teresa told the judge. "I support Joe and, as a wonderful husband and father, I know he wants only the best for our lovely daughters and me."
Is Courtney Stodden trying to upset Farrah Abraham? The child bride (now an adult) has been offered "big money" to film a solo sex tape, according to her mother-of-the-year, Krista Keller.
Apparently an online adult-film site erroneously believes a lot of people want to see Courtney and her new set of boulder boobs rock out to 'I Touch Myself…' (OK, I made the song part up…) and offered her an extremely lucrative deal to shoot two "solo scenes" that would be edited together for a "360 degree" video. Oh gross, I feel ill now.
The CEO of Panoporn Max Gambler believes Courtney could garner $3.5 – $5 million in profit if she agrees to a backend deal and a guarantee of $100,000 – $200,000 up front.
So last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was, dare I say it, fun! And positive. I was clearly watching the wrong show. Or I fell into the Twilight Zone.
While Teresa Giudice and Poison are practicing their "I Feel" statements with Dr. V in the anti-psychotic chamber, the rest of the crew (with Caroline Manzonow in attendance!) is discussing Jacqueline Laurita. Yes, Teresa blames Jacqueline for the Mayan Calendar failing to drop a house on Melissa Gorga's head. And yes, Jacqueline blames Teresa for her spontaneous combustion which left nothing but some wine corks and a pile of old tweets on Chris' pillow.
So anyway, Jacqueline is here in spirit. Evil spirit!
After Dr. V convinces Teresa and Poison they need to like spend time together not arguing and everyone hugs, Melissa comes in. I was really confused about when Tammy Faye Baker was cast on RHONJ, but there she was sitting there with Dr. V and Poison tearing up and refusing to take responsibility for anything. Huh… OH – wait – that was just Teresa with the worst, most ridiculous eye makeup ever. Seriously, she is so much prettier without the crazy eyelashes and the bad weave.
Real Housewives of New Jersey is right in thick of serious drama. Last week Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga tepidly began to process their issues with the help of the formidable Dr. V (there isn't enough alcohol in the world for me to try and tackle that mess – so props to her!).
Caroline Manzo was also brought on by Teresa to try and mend the issues. "This is a tough bunch. They are very passionate people and very stubborn," Caroline dishes to The Hollywood Reporter.
However Teresa admitting she needed help shocked Caroline enough into going! It's not often Miss. Everything's Fine admits there's a problem, as we know… "I was very surprised to hear from Teresa," Caroline admits. "She's a strong girl and doesn't usually ask for help. I knew something was up."
NeNe and Gregg Leakes just staged a big, ol' fancy re-wedding for their new showI Dream Of NeNe. NeNe reportedly hired one of Atlanta's premiere wedding planners, Tiffany Cook, to plan the massive affair and racked up a MILLION dollar bill. And then she never paid!
According to the suit Tiffany filed in Georgia, she claims NeNe promised to pay her "15% of the entire wedding budget PLUS fees design and execution of the wedding PLUS travel expenses to the event."
In what can only be the most ridiculous accusation ever lobbed against Bravo, Slade Smiley is accusing the network of doctoring audio footage to make Gretchen Rossi's singing sound worse than it really is!
On this week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange CountyGretchen unleashed a torrent of yowling cats upon us as she gushed about recording a special song for Slade that doubled as a proposal. While everyone in the viewing public covered their ears and hid for cover, Gretchen yammered about how Slade loves her singing.
Well, Slade claims he loves Gretchen's like for realz singing but not the stuff we see on TV! "WHAT is with the Editors that they always make it look like the worst singing ever??" a fan asked Slade on twitter. His response: "sad but its Bravo's formula. They go out if their way to alter the audio. Sucks right!"