Other than habitual mind games, I’m just gonna go ahead and declare that Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills should swear off game nights. The first one ended with a woman on crutches losing her crutches and being called a “slut pig” (holy foreshadowing metaphors at work there), and this latest one involved one woman almost needing crutches after being shoved down the stairs with a piece of pizza. Andy Cohen is redefining class for the modern age!
It all starts out innocently enough, Kyle Richards plans a spa day and the girls put on an odd assortment of outfits ranging from soccer mom at Target to ladies who lunch at Bergdorffs. (Lisa Vanderpump has been suffering from an over-dressing problem lately. Brandi Glanville has been suffering from a combo of under-dress/not wearing enough clothes problem).
Yolanda Foster is skipping this wonderful event, because despite being not being able to read, nor write, nor watch TV, she is in NYC micromanaging Gigi and Bella’s modeling careers and zipping around the globe hot on My Love‘s tail. YoFridgidaire is also seriously trying to make the stupid ‘Tile of Love’ walls happen because she sends Kyle a photo of her posed in front of the magnificent one the housekeepers made for Bella’s new apartment. I shade, but those Hadid girls are beyond beautiful and seem to have a really sweet relationship.
If you would have told me last year that Erica Mena had settled into a drama-free relationship and would be walking down the aisle in a traditional wedding gown, I would not have believed you! But it’s true.
The Love & Hip Hop star and her fiancé Bow Wow (aka Shad Moss) are happily planning their wedding together, which will take place in April and won’t be a giant reality TV affair at all. “It’s around the corner,” confirms Erica, “so it’s a lot of work to do actually. It’s coming together.”
Celebrity Apprentice continues to weed-out the calm players to make room for the drama to really roll out. And like a switch being flipped last night Kenya Moore set the wheels in motion. Finally – because we’ve been hearing about how so-called vicious this season was and I haven’t seen much evidence of that lately!
Of course, most exciting was Joan Rivers appearing posthumously as an angel from fashion critique past. Awww… Joan, how we’ve missed you and your acerbic wit. I hope Heaven hasn’t made you any less caustic.
It’s not that I’m disappointed by the rollicking hubris of Geraldo Rivera, but at this point it’s as wholly predictable as Kate Gosselin being self-absorbed and bitchy. #BeenThereDoneThat! I’m starting to believe Geraldo is losing his touch because he’s been on the losing team two challenges in a row! Geraldo… don’t rest on your laurels!
Everyone has returned from Miami in high spirits – Lisa Vanderpump is impressed they managed to take a vacation without killing Scheana. Tom 1 and Ariana Madix even believe Tom’s talk with Kristen has given her the closure she needs and everything is peaceful. That peace, is the quiet before the storm, sadly.
Scheana Marie Almost Famous has anointed herself as diplomat of SUR and plans to ask Lisa for a raise after all the good work she did using penis straws to reunite the group. Poor Stassi is left out in the cold. She hasn’t just been shivering outside, pressing her face against the window and drooling over the fried goat cheese balls, she’s been beading! Stassi has been hustling! She’s not just living off her parents! Stassi’s real hustle is convincing people to actually interact with her.
There’s been a lot of rumors now that perma-ingrate Stassi Schroeder is making a lot of enemies. In a new interview the Vanderpump Rules star complains that editing makes her look like a “mean girl” and reveals that she’s probably done with the show!
“I’m kind of over the reality TV thing. It’s too stressful. It really is stressful. There’s so much negativity,” explains Stassi. “Most people do reality TV as a stepping stone. They can use it as a platform. Anyone who chooses to do reality TV for the sake of doing reality TV has to be insane.”
“Honestly, I’ve wanted to use this (TV show) to build up a following,” Stassi continues. “I’ve been slowly working my way up in fashion. If I didn’t have the show, those things wouldn’t be possible.”
Remember last week when we shared a blind item about a Real Housewife who was about to leak a sex tape? And remember how we said Claudia Jordan‘s laptop had been stolen and that seemed mighty suspicious. Well, turns out sometimes we be reading minds – or minds be reading Reality Tea! Either way…
Claudia’s ex-boyfriend is speaking out and insisting that not only does the Real Housewife Of Atlanta star have a sex tape, but that she staged her car robbery and the stolen laptop as a convenient excuse for said sex-tape being leaked.
According to a police report Bryson was recently back in jail on a probation violation – and he was just ordered to rehab! The original arrest stems from a 2013 DUI when Bryson totaled his Dodge Charger by crashing it into two utility poles at 4:13 am. Despite telling officers the “darkness” made it difficult for him to see, leading to the accident, police administered a DUI test because of the “odor of alcoholic beverages” and Bryson had a BAC of .048! He was sentenced to 1 year probation and 30 days house arrest.