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Bethenny Frankel has already sworn she'll never get married again – and it's no wonder given how incredibly acrimonious her divorce proceedings are! 

In the latest, Bethenny and Jason Hoppy continue to fight over custody of three-year-old Bryn. Reportedly Bethenny and Jason (who are in mediation to work out a mutual custody agreement) were ordered before a judge for an emergency hearing because Jason claims Bethenny is refusing to let him spend enough time with their daughter!

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tamra-barney-book-launch

So Tamra Barney became Mrs. Judge this weekend in a big wedding filled with all her Real Housewives of Orange County co-stars. Yeppers – even the ones she hates. Or pretends to like to stay on Bravo's good side (ahem… Gretchen Rossi). 

I have to hand it to Tamra, for a season and a half she has really been selling us on this whole 'Gretchen is my BFFL and I misjudged her all this time. I'm so happy we made amends' act. I almost believed her. Oh, who am I kidding – we were as likely to buy that as we were to buy a Gretchen Christine Plasticine Sack. 

Now that the Tamretchen fractures are being featured on the show, Tamra is only too eager to reveal that yeah, Gretchen is kinda annoying. In her new blog she complains about Slave Slimey, Gretchen's 'ultimatums' and Lauri Peterson's ulterior motives concerning Tamra's true bestie Vicki Gunvalson

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kim-kandi-song

The saga of the one-hit wonder continues… Unfortunately. 

In her attempt to get Kandi Burruss' 'Don't Be Tardy' lawsuit against her thrown out of court, Kim Zolciak is taking on Kandi's lawyer Phaedra Parks and asserts that Phaedra has failed to prove that Kandi has sufficient rights to the material in question. She filed a Motion To Dismiss suggesting that Kandi has no grounds to file a suit for material that she has no copyright for. 

In paper's filed by Kim's legal counsel she attests that: “Nowhere in Plaintiffs’ Complaint is it asserted that Kandi Koated Entertainment, Inc. is an owner or an assignee of any copyright interest in the Composition or the Sound Recording”.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta star of course believes otherwise. Kandi is not the sole party in the lawsuit so it is unclear if Kim believes none of the plaintiffs involved have rights to the copyright. 

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OK! Magazine's

This season of Real Housewives of New Jersey is promising us redemption. But SO FAR things are exactly as they ended last season with Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga's bickering at the epicenter of the show. Since ratings are suffering, likely as a result of fans tiring of the same old, same old, hopefully RHONJ can turn it around quickly! 

This week's episode focused on whether or not Melissa made an effort to visit her FIL while he was in the ICU. And who has ownership of a strip mall gym and its smoothie bar. Yay for Jersey gym-gate! #sarcasm 

Of course what we saw on the surface was very different from what actually occurred behind the scenes (as is always the case with RHONJ!). Reality Tea's source shares some EXCLUSIVE information about what was really happening during filming – and why Melissa seemed to have trouble identifying when she visited her FIL! 

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Last night on Real Housewives of Orange County maturity was out in full force! Lydia McLaughlin attempted to throw a drama-free salsa dancing party which brought out as much cattiness in the ladies as penises in paradise did! Can Gretchen Rossi get along with anyone? #RhetoricalQuestion

​Things begin with Heather Dubrow being ridiculous. Apparently Heather just cannot possibly attend Lydia's salsa party if Alexis Bellino is there given that Alexis is like soooo fake and phony and faux and everything horrible. Lydia encourages Heather to try and make amends with Alexis and call her so they can put their differences aside. Lydia calls herself the "Friendship Whisperer." If this woman starts teaching classes and writing how-to books about training people to curb their aggression using treats I think I might explode. 

After much twisting of the Chanel pearls ('cause costume jewelry is only acceptable if it's Chanel) Heather concedes she will be the bigger person and call Alexis. Lydia lets out a squee. 

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gretchen bikini

Like, ZOMG! Gretchen Rossi is like a real live designer and to prove it the bikini she was rocking while she tantrumed and sobbed in last week's Mexico last week has sold out! 

The Real Housewife of Orange County star took to Facebook to share the amazing news and let us know that if we missed out on the opportunity to nab some Gretchen Christine Booty Sequined Butt Floss, there is more on the way! I wonder if I can nab a free one as a Reality Tea perk? 

"Omg! Cannot believe the suit I'm wearing in this picture completely sold out nationally and at swimspot.com a few days after I wore it on #RHOC in Mexico! What a testament to how amazing my fans and customers are!," Gretchen wrote. "So glad you guys like Lisa's and my designs! Other styles still available in this material! @luxebylisavogel #gretchenchristinexluxe #styles4allbodytypes" 

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rhonj-kimd

Alright kiddos, so Real Housewives of New Jersey happened so let's all take a break from bashing our heads against the wall to read this recap. I personally would rather go through another drug-free labor than spend one more minute on the Teresa Giudice vs. Melissa Gorga mess, but hey – duty calls. Oh – and in case you haven't heard I had a baby this week! Word to the wise: try to get to the hospital in a timely manner, right Melissa?!! 

Last night Teresa and Melissa put forth another round of she-said/she-said; bobbing and weaving around the ring like two drag queens in a RuPaul's Drag Race boxing challenge. Except the fashionably challenged version! It was sparkly leopard print verbal uppercut blocked by spray-tanned orange fauxmarble encrusted sucker punch. And a low-brow duck followed by a high-brow weave and spin. Before we knew it, fur was flying and Caroline Manzo's front yard petting zoo had died in vain over more of Teresa and Melissa's nonsense. 

Since we're talking boxing – things begin in a gym. Apparently all of Franklin Lakes and its surrounding lower echelon suburbs go to the same gym and NONE of them knew it! Just imagine… no awkward collisions at the lowfat banana smoothie bar ever occurred! Who would believe it?! 

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The ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey have a new story to peddle this season – they're all getting along. Finally! In a new interview the entire cast sits down to discuss how they deal with the show, what's happened to bring peace, and remind us that there is still much, much more drama to come. 

Oh they also talk cheatin' spouses… 

"It's crazy when it comes on because there's a lot said that you don't see that's filmed, and then we've come so far from where we were in the beginning, so it's very hard to rewatch the beginning but you just have to remember it was before the makeup and before everything got better in all of our situations," Melissa Gorga tells the Associated Press. 

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