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Kyle Richards family drama

It’s time for the sick, sad, dysfunctional world of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills! Thank goodness for the beautiful Tuscan scenery and the epic way Lisa Vanderpump put Kathy Hilton‘s BS on blast or else I’d be suffering from a case of Lymopause-depression! I can’t wait for Erika Jayne‘s kooky-crazy next week to infuse this show with some fun weirdness, because melo-lyme-dramatics is too much!

Yolanda Foster needs to break-up from “stabbing in the dark” and “playing detective,” as she refers to the menagerie of ‘treatments’ she’s trying to cure Lyme. What is making Yolanda sicker – the Lyme Disease or all the crazy she’s dumping into her body? Yolanda’s Bathrobe is becoming the new Yolanda’s Fridge, and YoBathrobe just doesn’t have the same appeal. Lady needs to detox from detoxing, and instead of a weekly colonic to harvest tapeworms, how about a facial, a nice relaxing, massage, a bottle of wine and some My Love sexytimes! Or possibly a trip to the snooze-inducing Amalfi Coast? 

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David & Yolanda Foster

According to insiders Yolanda Foster‘s marriage to David Foster “was torn apart by fame”. David – a famewhore?! You don’t say…

A new report claims David’s failed ambitions related to what Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills could do for his career led to tensions with Yolanda as her daughters became supermodels through the show! 

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Lala and James

Vanderpump Rules lives by its own code of ethics. That code being, if you don’t get caught it’s not cheating, and if you don’t get caught cheating with your friend’s boyfriend, you’re still a good friend. Lisa Vanderpump needs to quit re-educating with sommeliers and instead try educating her employees on HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS. Like maybe Communications 101? 

Also, I owe Kristen Doute an apology. Sort of. I used to believe James Kennedy was a super-douchey arrogant jerk because Kristen is so insane, but now I realize it was just a case of Like Attracts Like. They’re both total jerks, who, luckily for everyone else, had found each other to terrorize. Now that James and Kristen have split, James is inflicting his assholery on everyone else. Tom 1 and Ariana Madix are “Adulting,” James is instead “Douchebagging Extreme!” Run Lala, run!

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Chelsea Houska celebrates engagement with Cole DeBoer

Usually when Teen Mom stars go on vacation, I think: from what? But in the case of Chelsea Houska, who just got engaged to Cole DeBoer, I applaud her happy!

Cole proposed to Chelsea a few weeks ago. The Teen Mom 2 star revealed they are planning a small wedding next fall. Chelsea hinted that it may not be filmed for MTV because Cole is still notoriously reality TV-shy. 

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Kristin Cavallari's brother Michael is reported missing

Just weeks after giving birth to her daughter Saylor, Kristin Cavallari‘s family is contending with a terrible tragedy. Kristin’s brother Michael Cavallari has been reported missing since the day after Thanksgiving and authorities currently have very little information. 

Michael’s abandoned car was found in Grand County Utah on Nov 27. Authorities have no leads on his apparent disappearance, but are listing it as a “Missing Person Investigation.” 

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Kyle Richards & Brandi Glanville

Kyle Richards will not miss dealing with Brandi Glanville‘s mouth this season on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and she certainly will not miss trying to get along with her former co-star!

“We are not friends at all,” laughed Kyle

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Cynthia and Porsha brawl on RHOA boat trip

Well, as you know, no classy boat ride around Lake Lanier is complete without two squalling Real Housewives Of Atlanta! It’s basically a ‘What To Pack For Your Boat Cruise’ Essential – following sunscreen, and before AfterBurn Aloe. 

Yeah, I don’t know who escalated Cynthia Bailey and Porsha Williams‘ fight, but one thing I do know is that I’m super, ultra relieved it doesn’t appear the fallout will drag on all season, and into the next, and into the next, and into the next until I contemplate throwing them both overboard into Lake Lanier, Atlanta’s unofficial morgue, without a lifejacket, so they are stuck fending for themselves amid the ghosts. Well, at least Phaedra Parks said there were ghosts in that lake. 

Anyway, to briefly recap Fight Float, there are “fake as f–k” women causing “fake as f–k fights,” there are fingers in faces, then fingers being grabbed, there is Porsha starting to stand-straddle? (adjusting her position?) – I don’t know – over Cynthia’s lawn chair. Then all of the sudden Cynthia kicks Porsha in the crotchal region! Shocking, yes. But I was mostly relieved no one’s pants burst because, holy crap, I would not be getting all acrobatic and ‘Hi-Yah! Housewives’ in pants that tight!

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Lisa Vanderpump - RHOBH Season 6 Premiere Party

Yolanda Foster‘s divorce from ‘My Love‘ is sending shockwaves through specially fortified world of Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills. Yolanda’s sometime frienemy, sometimes failure of a Hollywood Friend, Lisa Vanderpump admits she had no idea Yolanda and David were on the rocks. At least any other kind of rocks besides the diamond kind! 

Reacting to the impending YoDa divorce, Lisa insists she initially didn’t believe the rumors. Because, you see, Yolanda and David hid their marital strife so very well through the excellent filters of Instagram

“You expect on a reality show that you’re seeing what’s going on in somebody’s life. When I heard that and was told, I said, ‘That’s absolutely nonsense, absolute rubbish. I don’t believe that for a second,'” Lisa exclaims. 

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