Alright kiddos, so Real Housewives of New Jersey happened so let's all take a break from bashing our heads against the wall to read this recap. I personally would rather go through another drug-free labor than spend one more minute on the Teresa Giudice vs. Melissa Gorga mess, but hey – duty calls. Oh – and in case you haven't heard I had a baby this week! Word to the wise: try to get to the hospital in a timely manner, right Melissa?!!
Last night Teresa and Melissa put forth another round of she-said/she-said; bobbing and weaving around the ring like two drag queens in a RuPaul's Drag Race boxing challenge. Except the fashionably challenged version! It was sparkly leopard print verbal uppercut blocked by spray-tanned orange fauxmarble encrusted sucker punch. And a low-brow duck followed by a high-brow weave and spin. Before we knew it, fur was flying and Caroline Manzo's front yard petting zoo had died in vain over more of Teresa and Melissa's nonsense.
Since we're talking boxing – things begin in a gym. Apparently all of Franklin Lakes and its surrounding lower echelon suburbs go to the same gym and NONE of them knew it! Just imagine… no awkward collisions at the lowfat banana smoothie bar ever occurred! Who would believe it?!
The ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey have a new story to peddle this season – they're all getting along. Finally! In a new interview the entire cast sits down to discuss how they deal with the show, what's happened to bring peace, and remind us that there is still much, much more drama to come.
Oh they also talk cheatin' spouses…
"It's crazy when it comes on because there's a lot said that you don't see that's filmed, and then we've come so far from where we were in the beginning, so it's very hard to rewatch the beginning but you just have to remember it was before the makeup and before everything got better in all of our situations," Melissa Gorgatells the Associated Press.
In her first installment, Kim talks about her friendships with both Teresa Giudice and Jacqueline Laurita, and of course hints at some major upcoming drama. Yay!
"At the beginning of last year my mother was diagnosed very suddenly with lung cancer. It was one of the hardest times in my life I have ever had to go through. Both Teresa and Jacqueline were there for me every step of the way during that horrible period," Kim begins.
Well now that she has her new spinoff, Rich People Problems, to promote and an upcoming book, Secrets Of A Southern Belle, Phaedra is out of hiding and dishing on RHOA drama, her behavior last season, and a certain someone's upcoming wedding!
Phaedra shares that of course some of her colleagues reached out to her post-birth. "Kandi [Burruss] and Todd came to the hospital," Phaedra tells TooFab. "Cynthia [Bailey]has talked to me several times since giving birth. And Porsha [Stewart] sent a wonderful gift."
On last night's episode of Don't Be Tardy, our favorite wig-wearing delusionite came up with a new reason for why she can't do anything for herself.
Apparently Kim Zolciak now has ADD and it's the all the fault of that pesky birth control chip known as the IUD. So what's a lady of the wigdor to do? Yank it out in the powder room all by herself, y'all! Don't Be Classy!
Things begin with Kim at home roaming around pretending to be busy while the nannies hover in the corner just to the left of screen. In the meantime Brielle is doing everything possible to get Kim's attention while Kim talks about herself and pretends she's sooooooooo busy. Brielle says that now that Kim is married to Kroy Biermann and dealing with the boys she feels like she never gets anytime with her mom alone.
Vicki reveals that she and Lauri had a "cordial" relationship as acquaintances for years after she left the show. The two even appeared on WWHL together last year with no malice. And she explains the phone call from George's MIL that seems to be behind Lauri's animosity.
"I received a phone call from George’s ex-mother-in-law at my work who proceeded to tell me some 'not so nice' things about George. She told me that her ex-son in law (George) was 'not so nice' to his children and her daughter and that I should let Lauri know this. Since Lauri was a new friend of mine, I really didn't know what to do with this information. I was not real close with her, but she did work for me and I didn't want to get in her personal relationship with George, nor did I want to hurt her with this information because I didn't know if it was true or just malicious information."
This weekend Vicki Gunvalson got slammed with a lawsuit related to her Vicki's Vodka line. Vicki was accused by her business partner, Robert Williamson III of "gifting" 16.67 % of her share to Brooks Ayers, who then proceeded to sell it back to Robert claiming he was broke.
Robert's suit attests that Vicki and Brooks then conspired together in an attempt to have the business returned to a 50-50 partnership between Robert and Vicki despite him buying Brooks' percentage from him. Conveniently the Real Housewives of Orange County star's social media was also "hacked" that very same day.
Well now that her Facebook is up and running, Vicki is confronting the lawsuit and insisting it is baseless. "My attorney will be filing a response to the frivolous suit within the next day or so," Vicki announced.
"This response will reveal my side of the story and the lack of truth that was told. There will be more details to follow shortly. Thank you for your support. The truth always prevails." We anxiously await.