The ladies start off the last leg of their Tour de Denial at the flower market. Earlier, while they were biking through the city Lisa Vanderpump saw a friend of her son Max. Brandi got to chatting… and other things… with said 23-year-old – lo and behold he asked her on a date, after spending the night with her. Are we sure they weren’t biking through the Red Light district? Isn’t dating your former bestie-turned-enemy-turned-stalking/slapping-recipient’s son’s friend a little, I dunno… Lifetime Movie creepy? I mean I can just picture Sela Ward playing the role of LVP.
Brandi, wearing a Fred Flintstone costume, recounts to Kim about “play slapping” Lisa. Kim laughs that uptight Lisa can’t take a joke – like that one time super sober champion soberling Kim joked about Harry doing evil, awful things and Lisa Rinna having evil, awful secrets… does Harry keep a people-eating troll in the basement?!
Just because Lisa Rinna‘s lips (and the words that may pass through them) are fake, doesn’t mean everything about her is! Yes, she may have tried to pretend her terrible altercation with Kim Richards never happened, but it was because she just wanted to get through the worst Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills trip ever and return safely to US soil. Do ya’ blame the lady?!
Describing her long strange trip in Amsterdam as, “the weirdest f—-ing thing ever,” Lisa admits after the first night she entered into survival mode. “This entire episode was a roller coaster of emotions and, quite frankly, non-emotions,” she explains. “After what happened the first night in AmsterDAMN, I became severely AmsterDAMAGED, and as you can see, I was basically navigating my way around in a walking coma.”
It wasn’t Lisa’s intention to be insincere or ignore reality, she just wanted to avoid anymore issues. “Out of desperation to keep my last ounces of sanity in tact, I made a decision in that moment to move on.”
Karen Gravano announced on twitter that Natalie is “not on the show anymore” after being caught making racist comments. Giving further credence to the rumor, Natalie D retweeted, “Im surprised nat g hasnt been on here crying abt how she got fired…the way she conducts herself on twitter u wld think she b popping off.”
Last night on the Vanderpump Rules reunion, Stassi Schroeder accused Scheana Marie of being involved in a malicious plot to expose a self-pleasure sex tape Stassi made for an ex-boyfriend, who eventually passed it around at SUR. Stassi sure knows how to burn those bridges… The sex tape – thankfully – has never seen the light of day, but everybody wants MORE DETAILS! Here they are…
Apparently the “graphic 20 minute” tape features some alarming footage of Stassi “masturbating with a dildo,” reveals an insider who has seen the footage. “It was humiliating. It was passed around and everyone in the cast saw it.”
Stassi was devastated when she found out and asked Lisa Vanderpump for help in dealing with the matter. And Lisa leapt into action.
In fact, last night was awash in lost possessions. For instance, Stassi no longer has possession of Katie Maloney. Katie is officially out from under Stassi’s very busy self-pleasuring thumb. Naturally, Stassi doesn’t feel at all responsible since Katie is the one who “changed the rules” of their friendship by partying with the enemy.
Stassi tells Katie over and over again why Stassi is upset about all the things that happened to Stassi which were upsetting and hurtful to Stassi and Stassi’s feelings really matter a lot to Stassi who was really going through a lot of things that were terrible for Stassi. It was all”I! I! I!” at the Stassi Schroeder Whine-a-thon (wine not included)!
Stassi Schroeder has a secret sex tape! On tonight’s Vanderpump Rules reunion she accuses Scheana Marie of trying to make it a storyline on the show – and being behind an unsuccessful plot to expose the “self-pleasure” sex tape to the media!
Stassi has made no secret of the fact that she’s disgusted by her costars and former friends, but her reasons seem nebulous. However, in part 2 of the reunion, Stassi and Scheana erupt into a very nasty argument over Stassi trying to use the SUR staff, and her co-stars, as pawns to do her bidding and then casting them aside when they grow a backbone.
In the midst of the argument, Stassi shares just why she’s so hateful to Scheana – and throws Scheana’s argument in her face by accusing her doing the same exact thing when she tried to convince castmates to participate in leaking word of Stassi’s private masturbation sex tape.
Kyle Richards is opening up about her “weight struggle,” which I presume led to a lifelong kaftan addiction? As a result of finally getting skinny the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star is hawking diet meals – and cutting out the wine? For the calories of course, because dieting and drinking don’t mix. Could that be the title of Brandi Glanville‘s next book?!
Lamenting that she’s always been plagued by excess pounds, Kyle complains about her curves. “I’m not someone who can eat whatever. I’ve always battled my weight,” Kyle admits. “I’m much curvier than my sisters. It’s always been my Achilles heel. The struggle is real!”
Luckily, Kyle has found a solution in the form of Artisan Bistro, which has alleviated the need for Kyle to have a personal chef at dinner parties. Instead she can serve the “organic, non-GMO, low-calorie frozen meals!” Screw SUR, here’s a microwaveable quinoa salad.
However, Lifetime reportedly has no plans to stop the Abby Lee Monster! During a recent trip to Australia, where Abby wasn’t even wanted, she revealed season 6 is a definite. Abby and the girls are filming while in Down Under, and Abby hinted about recruiting new students for the ALDC. “Maybe season six will be an Australian Dance Moms,” she suggested says the Daily Telegraph.