Last night on Couples Therapy the brilliant professionalism that is Dr. Jenn Berman explored *gasp* secrets. Secrets soooo big, and soooo deep, and soooo like secrety that the cameras had to be turned off on Farrah Abraham so Farrah could secret in secret. And also scrunch up her face while stage whispering, aka cry.
Other than that, Ghostface's secret girlfriend Latrice came to the house to discover that Ghost also has a secret girlfriend named Kelsey. In the world of Ghost this is just how he gets his mack on, in the world of the rest of us, Ghost should just give up the ghost and accept that he's a middle-aged man with a midlife crisis. Oh, did I say that out loud? Cause I wish Dr. Jenn would have! Basically what I'm saying here is that last night's Couples Therapy was about one singular sensation who no one would ever date and one menage-a-trois dysfunctional relationship. So like where the couples at?
No one likes Farrah.I mean of course not – she makes condescending snarky comments to everyone, walks around with her fake nose in the air, and acts like it's all their faults she's a liar. Also everyone sees through her. Taylor Armstrong slurs that the "floral skirts with ballet flats aren't fooling me." Exactly how is Taylor getting sloshed every night "therapeutic"?
With the insane season finale of Vanderpump Rules revealing a salacious "banging" and a ton of lies, Stassi Schroeder says that she fled the toxicity of SUR and moved to New York City where she now lives with her new boyfriend Patrick.
Stassi shockingly expresses no desire to return to the show which made her mean girl ways infamous. Stassi no longer works at SUR, of course, and because duh! she's so much more special than just being the princess of cocktail slinging!
"I just realized that my life was just so toxic. Like, everything was so toxic. No one was a good friend, besides Katie [Maloney], obviously," Stassireveals to Hollywood Life about her decision to quit. "I just needed to take myself out of that environment. I can’t be a waitress forever. Come on, eventually we were all going to start moving on." That does not confirm that she's leaving reality TV behind!
Well I'm going to handle this as tactfully as I can and just present the information.
Farrah Abraham undoubtedly has issues (which she is currently exploring while appearing ALONE on Couples Therapy) and apparently the root of many of these issues stems from a rape trauma and childhood abuse.
“I was drugged and raped more than once. I allowed the [wrong] type of people into my life,” Farrahclaims to In Touch Weekly. The former Teen Mom star also alleges that following the release of her "sex tape" she booked appearances at strip clubs and porn conventions which further put her life in jeopardy.
Aaaaahhhh Kristen Doute, one-part hoochie mama, one-part crazy, one-part atrociously bad employee, one-part drama queen, and one-part REALLY, REALLY, REALLY bad decision maker! She's one helluva a potent Molotov cocktail!
Of course Kristen denied it. A lot. Even when all evidence pointed to the contrary. But somebody called Sherlock and Law & Order style Kristen got cornered and confessed. Yep, the kitty is out of the bag: Kristen banged Jax – and liked it!
In case you haven't heard Teresa Giudice and Joe Giudice are in big time trouble and face a mounting 41-count federal indictment for several different types of fraud.
In light of her legal woes, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star, whose troubles will be featured on the upcoming season, insists she's staying strong and trying to make the best of a bad situation for the time being. “I can’t just be upset and crawl up in a ball and just go in a room and — and lock the door. I can’t. I’m a mom. I have four daughters,” Teresa tells ABC News.
Teresa does admit that it's hard to get through the day, however, and in private she is falling apart. "I would be lying to say I didn’t, you know, that’s not happening,” she shares. The hardest part, she says, is "my kids going through this." Should have thought of that BEFORE, you know, lying and defrauding! "I'm a role model for them," Teresa explains. A role model of what NOT to do!
Here's to the Shahs of Sunset star nabbing Bravo's first gay wedding spinoff. I so hope Asa is the wedding planner!
So yes, Reza proposed "on my birthday in August," he dishes to Life & Style but the two kept their engagement a secret. Hmmm… wonder why – OH! Because the engagement is going to featured on the season finale Reza reveals. Of course… silly me, I thought engagements were for love, not storylines.
Last night's episode of Teen Mom 2 temporarily humanized our snarkiness as Leah Calvert learned the realities of Ali's muscular dystrophy.
Kail Lowry heads to an ultrasound appointment sans Javi Marroquin because Jo Rivera won't let her move out of state with Isaac and now she's all allllloneee! Apparently she's been emotionally eating to drown her sorrows because the doctor warns her that gaining a pound and a half per week isn't a good idea. "Lay off the fettuccine alfredo," he instructs.
Everything looks healthy but Kail is waiting until Javi can be there to find out the sex. Kail calls Javi from the car and complains that she's soooo stressed planning a wedding while pregnant. Maybe postpone the wedding until after you've had the baby then? Just a thought – especially since they're already legally married for the benefits and stuff.
Then Kail and Jo have a major custody blowup. Kail is now refusing to bring Isaac to Jo's parents' if he's not home. On their custody exchange day, Kail learns from Jo that he's running late so she calls Javi – in front of Isaac – to whine about what a terrible, negligent parent Jo is. Nice Kail.