So last night on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills we all got to play amateur psychologist as we tried to figure out what the heck is wrong with Kim Richards. Leading the charge were our bright-eyed and intrepid newbies Eileen Davidson and Lisa Rinna, eager to make a change, eager to help where help is not wanted. As they are about to learn the Richards Sisters are content and complicit in their dysfunction!
Brandi Glanville is on a 21-day cleanse under the tutelage of Yolanda Foster. That means no alcohol, no sugar, but totally Xanax! A girl can’t give up allll her vices. Yolanda is apparently captaining the Beverly Hills chapter of the Save-A-Hoe Foundation and she thinks yoga is gonna teach an old bitch new tricks. Nice try, but dangling a hot yoga instructor in front of a gal’s face is no way to reshape a behavior – but it’s not like it says NO MEN on this cleanse. Like I said, a girl can’t give up allll her vices! Xanax & Dating?
For everyday Brandi doesn’t drink is Yolanda is gonna give her one almond chip? BTW: Brandi is only doing this cleanse to prove to the other girls she’s not an alcoholic.
Brandi Glanville restauranteur? Apparently she wants to be! With her new-found bestseller money, Brandi says she asked now former friend Lisa Vanderpump if she could be an investor in her restaurant PUMP, but was turned down! I guess the Vanderpump-Todds were worried that Brandi’s investment capital would quickly be nullified by her showing up at the bar and demanding the owners special!
The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills star said she’s considered getting into the restaurant business for a while, so with Lisa and KenTodd opening PUMP, it seemed like a convenient opportunity! “I’ve always wanted to have a restaurant,” Brandi shared. “I actually offered to be an investor in PUMP when she first opened PUMP, and she didn’t want me to be an investor.”
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Lisa Vanderpump is no stranger to drama on Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills but after being the recipient of all the mayhem last season, she is happy to return to her role as witty commentator on all things Housewives! Most of the times…
Admitting that last season was “horrible,” Lisa says it is difficult to understand main perpetrator Brandi Glanville‘s motives – and she definitely hasn’t forgotten the misdeeds (no matter what Kyle Richards wants to pretend!). “They threw everything at me last year, the other women,” Lisa reflects. “It was nasty and it was mean-spirited.”
Lisa confesses to remaining confused about Brandi’s behavior – and her troubling relationship with Kim Richards. “I don’t have any understanding of her [Brandi] motives in any situation ever,” quips Ms. Vanderpump.
Last night on the finale of Celebrity Apprentice, the blustering balloon of buffoonery that is Geraldo Rivera was deflated. And for that, we are eternally thankful. Meanwhile, a new winner was crowned – one deserving, classy, and hard-working – without shenanigans or drama. Sorry I-an ZierLING, it wasn’t you, it was Leeza Gibbons! Congrats lady.
I, personally, think Leeza should been awarded with a rhinestoned crown, bedecked with dollars, and coins, and a sash that read THE Celebrity Apprentice. It would perfectly tie-in with Donald Trump‘s Miss Universe Pageant – that opportunity for cross-marketing was woefully overlooked! If nothing else than for Kenya Moore‘s eyes to turn into lasers at someone else’s pageantry, and for her arguably, possibly, silicone butt to melt into a puddle of wasted dreams and toxic antics. I’m sure we’d also find the charred remains of Vivica A. Fox‘s cellphone in that mess!
It was a live season finale, which meant plenty of opportunity for Donald to slaughter the contestants names ( Ke$HIA Knight Pull-HIM – which sounds like a porn star alter-ego) and for Geraldo to refer to Leeza as “high functioning” – apparently likening her with one of the lovely developmentally disabled individuals his charity supports. He meant it to be complimentary.
Last night was part 2 of Scheana Marie‘s wedding on Vanderpump Rules. And outside of Bridezilla meltdowns and parking lot brawls it was a beautiful event. It appears that it’s not a Scheana Marie party without somebody gettin’ punched…
Kristen Doute wipes away tears as she congratulates Scheana. The faraway look in her eye is focused on Tom Sandoval, nuzzling Ariana Madix‘s neck as they giggle at an inside joke. Kristen remembers those days, etched deeply into her fabricated memories. Kristen so wanted to rip Scheana’s wedding gown off of her, tackle Tom 1 with it – muzzling him with the 15 pound pearl-beaded crop-top, wrap him up in the table cloth skirt, and drag him to the altar!
Keep your friends close and your former friends turned enemies closer? Guess so! Stassi Schroeder apparently had a terrible time at the Vanderpump Rules reunion where her friends and co-stars turned on her and demanded answers for her rudeness and arrogance. As a result, Kristen Doute who also faced the wrath, teamed up with Stassi to form an unlikely alliance!
Andy Cohen revealed that it wasn’t just Stassi who took a beating, but Jax Taylor as well.
“Well Stassi and Jaxalmost didn’t survive, SURvive, because they were both kind of pummeled by everybody… ” Andy shared in an Ask Andy segment. “Maybe I ganged up on Jax the most… but they all ganged up on Stassi. I almost felt bad for her.”
Vivica A. Fox sat down with Meredith Vieira where she dished on Celebrity Apprentice (which she called a “beautiful business soap opera), what’s next in her expanding career, her love life, and, of course, her feud with Kenya Moore.
First of all, Vivica believes she would be the perfect replacement for departing Rosie O’Donnell on The View. “After surviving Apprentice yes, I deserve a job,” she joked. “I haven’t done a job in New York for a long time. New York’s grown and sexy, so I’d take a chance at The View. Why not?”
Vivica also chimed in on the media rewarding bad behavior by supporting women like Kenya, whom allegedly stole Vivica’s cell phone to make salacious tweets about menopause. Vivica wants Kenya to stop resorting to “desperate measures.”
Claudia Jordan has hit-up Rent-A-Center and finally got some furniture, but that’s still not enough to make this girl happy! She cries to Kenya Mooreand Cynthia Bailey that she feels like it’s high school all over again where she is being bullied for being biracial and everyone expects her to just laugh it off.
Clawdia is so sad and blue because Porsha Williams won’t let her sit at the popular lunch table! Man – Porsha has some power, she’s ruining an African’s marriage with her cooch and she’s ruining Claudia’s job because she won’t do happy hours.
Claudia says she’s tried her hardest to be civil and supportive of Porsha, except for that time she called her a prostitute and that time she showed up at her work party to start an argument with her. Kenya tut-tuts about how shameful it is that women can’t support each other. I mean, it is soooo hard to work all day, get up at 5:30 am, and not have a married African pay your bills!