I’m running late today (as if that is not an affliction of everyday). I blame Kristen Doute. Or Jax Taylor – I truly vacillate between which one of the two is more whorerendous. See what I did there – it’s subtlety – which is something Vanderpump Rules is not known for. So let’s carry-on recapping this reunion.
Lots ‘o weird last night! Why Kristen’s makeup is suddenly making her look like a 48-year-old cougar? Perhaps it was sitting in the youthful glow of James Kennedy. Perhaps it was her dark soul emanating through her pores. You don’t believe me – it happened to Jax too. Take a look at season 1 Jax. Is that the same man you ask? I mean it could be… I wouldn’t put ‘zombie recreation Jax’ past the whodunits at Bravo.
Also, weird? Stassi Schroeder everything. So many unsaid things, so many allusions, so many not adding ups. We’re still dismantling the secrets of Tom 1 and Miami Girl; I don’t care – I want to know about the Super-Secret Life of Stassi Schroeder.
Vanderpump Rules is known for its shock value, but this season’s reunion will be the most shocking yet! Reflecting on the season and dishing on what to expect from the Vanderpump Rules reunion, Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix confirm the drama is intense, but surprisingly it didn’t get too ugly and most everyone kept it civil.
Ariana says that although Stassi Schroeder “wanted to” stage a big dramatic showdown and storm off stage, she didn’t! “It’s really surprising actually,” agrees Tom. “I’m surprised when Stassi came out, she didn’t storm off.”
What’s an ex-reality star to do when she’s bored and needs to pay for more plastic surgery? Film another reality show, of course! Taylor Armstrong just announced she is currently filming again and ready to show off her new life and marriage to John Bluher. Because showing off their amazing relationship worked so well before…
Taylor and John (who has adopted Taylor’s daughter Kennedy) are filming a positive, family-oriented reality show about their life together in Vail, Colorado. Which includes a lot of skiing! And no mention of that nasty little home-wrecking situation that got their relationship started…
She By SheBroke has re-branded herself as a “fitness coach,” – finally – but cannot recover from the heartbreak of Bob Whitfield‘s missing seven-figures, so she’s never moved on after their divorce. Instead Sheree hardened her exterior shell, along with her heart, and Patti dubs her a “crockpot woman,” because she’s so slow to warm up.
Nonetheless Sheree is relying on Patti to help her find that “instant connection.” The butterflies, the tingles, which Sheree says she’s never had. You mean Bob never gave her tingles?! No… “When I love, I love hard,” promises Sheree. And when she divorces, she divorces hard too… In fact, Sheree might as well come with a disclaimer: Court is my extracurricular activity! Paying bills… that’s your job!
Sadly, Sheree never even gets to the love stage, because she slams the door shut before anyone can peek inside.
Real Housewives Of Atlanta‘s “Chocolate Tales” have taken on Willy Wonkian-proportions. Apparently no one fact checked their golden ticket to drama before dipping a toe into the chocolate river. Are Housewives required the same due-diligence as researchers when regarding inner-personal matters of distorted rumors? Can one rely on Apollo for any sort of “evidence” – particularly in regards to “texes.” Never fear – Dr. NeNe Leakes has the cure!
According to Cynthia, she simply brought up the affair situation because they were having a group “conversation” and she wanted to know if it was true. If Phaedra is involved with Prince Chocolatier from the ChocAfrica, she should have just admitted it! Cause they would all be so accepting and supportive, uh-huh.
Porsha Williams is remaining loyal to Phaedra Parks and calling out Cynthia Bailey and Kenya Moore for spreading rumors about Phaedra allegedly cheating with the latest mysterious African, Mr. Chocolate. Porsha describes Cynthia’s actions as “awful” and warns her – karma is a’comin! Hasn’t karma already arrived and been calling itself “Peter“?
Accusing Cynthia of being “beyond out of line,” Porsha expected Cynthia to display some compassion to her fellow Real Housewives Of Atlanta co-star. “Cynthia has a daughter and husband herself; if it were her family being ripped apart she would expect nothing but prayer and support. However, she decided to completely try to slander and tear down a fellow sister at her toughest hour!”
Socialite Dorinda Medley is the newest Housewife on Real Housewives Of New York in a season that promises tons of ups and downs. The long-time Upper East Side resident warns that she “loves” a good argument and isn’t afraid of drama, or being herself.
Dorinda, a close friend of Ramona Singer, explains that although she’s the new Housewife, she’s very familiar with the way these girls roll! “I know these girls. I know their world. I’ve even done a few cameos,” explains Dorinda.
“So I thought, why not give it a try and see if it is something that suits me? I live on the Upper East Side, and it’s a small fishbowl up here,” continues Dorinda. “I am not going to be that ball of yarn that came out of nowhere.”