So last night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey was, dare I say it, fun! And positive. I was clearly watching the wrong show. Or I fell into the Twilight Zone.
While Teresa Giudice and Poison are practicing their "I Feel" statements with Dr. V in the anti-psychotic chamber, the rest of the crew (with Caroline Manzonow in attendance!) is discussing Jacqueline Laurita. Yes, Teresa blames Jacqueline for the Mayan Calendar failing to drop a house on Melissa Gorga's head. And yes, Jacqueline blames Teresa for her spontaneous combustion which left nothing but some wine corks and a pile of old tweets on Chris' pillow.
So anyway, Jacqueline is here in spirit. Evil spirit!
After Dr. V convinces Teresa and Poison they need to like spend time together not arguing and everyone hugs, Melissa comes in. I was really confused about when Tammy Faye Baker was cast on RHONJ, but there she was sitting there with Dr. V and Poison tearing up and refusing to take responsibility for anything. Huh… OH – wait – that was just Teresa with the worst, most ridiculous eye makeup ever. Seriously, she is so much prettier without the crazy eyelashes and the bad weave.
Real Housewives of New Jersey is right in thick of serious drama. Last week Teresa Giudice and Joe Gorga tepidly began to process their issues with the help of the formidable Dr. V (there isn't enough alcohol in the world for me to try and tackle that mess – so props to her!).
Caroline Manzo was also brought on by Teresa to try and mend the issues. "This is a tough bunch. They are very passionate people and very stubborn," Caroline dishes to The Hollywood Reporter.
However Teresa admitting she needed help shocked Caroline enough into going! It's not often Miss. Everything's Fine admits there's a problem, as we know… "I was very surprised to hear from Teresa," Caroline admits. "She's a strong girl and doesn't usually ask for help. I knew something was up."
NeNe and Gregg Leakes just staged a big, ol' fancy re-wedding for their new showI Dream Of NeNe. NeNe reportedly hired one of Atlanta's premiere wedding planners, Tiffany Cook, to plan the massive affair and racked up a MILLION dollar bill. And then she never paid!
According to the suit Tiffany filed in Georgia, she claims NeNe promised to pay her "15% of the entire wedding budget PLUS fees design and execution of the wedding PLUS travel expenses to the event."
In what can only be the most ridiculous accusation ever lobbed against Bravo, Slade Smiley is accusing the network of doctoring audio footage to make Gretchen Rossi's singing sound worse than it really is!
On this week's episode of Real Housewives of Orange CountyGretchen unleashed a torrent of yowling cats upon us as she gushed about recording a special song for Slade that doubled as a proposal. While everyone in the viewing public covered their ears and hid for cover, Gretchen yammered about how Slade loves her singing.
Well, Slade claims he loves Gretchen's like for realz singing but not the stuff we see on TV! "WHAT is with the Editors that they always make it look like the worst singing ever??" a fan asked Slade on twitter. His response: "sad but its Bravo's formula. They go out if their way to alter the audio. Sucks right!"
No more Teen Mom 2 notoriety for you Courtland Rogers! Upon returning to the real world you'll have to also return to being a nobody on twitter. But being a twitter superstar was so awesome… too bad it doesn't pay!
So back to the news, Courtland is getting out of jail today according to his sister and his new girlfriend. He struck a plea deal for time served because he agreed to just plead guilty to the charges.
Upon his release Courtland looks forward to a sober life WITHOUT axis of crazy Jenelle Evans! Unfortunately the two were forced to come face-to-face in court yesterday morning! OK, so I'm not sure if they actually came into contact with each other but they were both there!
I'm sure you've heard that for a hot minute Vicki Gunvalson's business partner, Robert Williamson III, was suing her alleging that she attempted to defraud him of partial ownership of Vicki's Vodka.
It turned out the Real Housewives of Orange County star "gifted" Brooks Ayers 16.67% of her stake of the company and then Brooks proceeded to re-sell that percentage to Robert for $50,000 right out from under Vicki's surgically altered nose!
Long story short, Vicki and Robert worked out their issue, he appeared on last week's episode of RHOC (convenient timing, no?) and dropped the suit against Vicki. But he is still suing Brooks! For what, I don't know? Maybe Brooks can sell him a pair of slightly used veneers. Or some ocean front property in Mississippi.
Brooks is responding to Robert's allegations and finding that Hallmark cards and petty threats don't always make the bad guys go away, but he wants the suit dismissed anyway. He also admits that sure he sold his shares, but it was to help his child Your Honor!
So apparently when you stage a sex tape and get mocked for it or when you get a DUI and claim it was the cops fault and then get laughed at, you're being bullied. And it's like sooooo, sooooo hard to be in the public eye – most very private bits and all – and have people like say stuff about you.
This is all especially difficult if your name is Farrah Abraham and taking accountability is not something you excel at. Good news delusional celebs: there is a new line of tank tops just for you!
Farrah's latest endeavor is endorsing Brand UR Bullyproof tanks! For those "CelebURty" gals who wanna "be famous for who UR". Only $19.99 kids! Who is hiring this person?
[Photo Credit: Twitter]
TELL US – WOULD YOU BUY ONE OF FARRAH'S ANTI-BULLYING TANKS?
Shahs of Sunset was supposed to be all about friendships rekindling after a rocking second season of friendships falling apart. Well apparently storylines for the third season have abruptly changed!
First indicator that all was not well? MJ Javid posted a super nasty series of tweets directed at her co-stars. Not only did MJ stand behind her statements, she did not as we initially thought, delete them. Girl is not afraid to speak her mind – so props to that!